Self-aware confession #1:
I have no idea what the Space Time Continuum is. I don’t even know if it’s a real science thing or if it’s something I heard on one of the less-than-eleven episodes of Star Trek I ever watched. It just sounds good for what I want to write about in this post.
Self-aware confession #2:
I’m a logical person. I despised the endless memorizing of pointless-to-me-but-I’m-really-glad-my-doctor-didn’t-think-they-were-pointless facts in Biology class, but I loved Chemistry and Geometry. Memorize a few facts and then use logic to work out the problem.
Sometimes, though, I’m too logical. In certain situations, my excessive logic becomes illogical. I think it’s like when scientists come up with something that works in the controlled situation of a lab, but then doesn’t work out in the real world.
Not that I’m a scientist.
Those white lab coats would totally wash me out.
Anyway, time doesn’t work the same way for Slobs as it does for Normal People.
Here are two examples to support this hypothesis:
1. The second part of my first decluttering question (the part that isn’t actually a question), is to take an item straight to its home once you know where its home is.
This means that in the course of a decluttering project, I may take sixteen (or sixty) walks through the house delivering individual items to their homes.
Compare this to my pre-blog logic. I used to make Keep Piles. Or have a Keep Box. Obviously, if I make piles for each room, I’ll only take one or two (or four) trips through the house delivering items to their homes, therefore saving twelve (or fifty-six) trips.
OBVIOUSLY, four trips requires WAY less time than sixteen trips.
IF you’re normal.
But, the space-time-continuum formula is different for people like me. For me, it’s 100% guaranteed that I’ll be distracted at some point before all those piles are efficiently put away. They’ll morph into one big pile, and I’ll end up re-doing the entire project and the overall time spent will be longer than when I do it my take-it-there-now-no-matter-how-many-trips-I-have-to-make method.
2. Another example of my Slob Math? Laundry.
I’ve discovered the laundry management technique that rocks my world. Actually, it wasn’t a discovery. It was just a matter of me giving it a real try even though I’d resisted this method all my laundry-doing life.
It just didn’t make sense to me to stop and fold each load as I took it out of the dryer.
I have control over folding laundry. It’s simply a matter of me getting it done, and there’s really nothing stopping me from folding at any given point in time.
But I am at the mercy of the washer and dryer.
Stick the clothes in, turn the machines on, and there’s nothing else I can do but wait until they’re finished.
The oh-so-logical part of me KNOWS that if I can get wet clothes into the dryer as FAST as possible and the next load of dirties into the washer . . . the whole Laundry Day will take less time overall.
Logic would dictate that I should fold and put away after the next task has begun. Two things happening at one time? Isn’t that the goal of every efficient laundrist?
Except that once the washer and dryer are humming along with the next load . . . there’s no guarantee I’m going to get those clothes folded and put away immediately.
In fact, if I was a bettin’ slob, I’d probably bet there’s a 3-to-1 chance those clothes will become invisible in their temporary spot on the couch or in a laundry basket.
And there’s just something so finishey-feeling about pushing start on that next load. Nothing pops that good-feeling-balloon faster than folding laundry.
My point?
If you look at the logical method and the real-life method side-by-side, minute-by-minute . . . the logical method should be more efficient.
Except that “distraction” isn’t a possibility in my personal equation, it’s a definite.
OK. I’m done with all the pretend-scientific talk. Except to point out my picture for this post, and tell you how much fun I had making it look like there is something science-fictioney about my dryer.
Scientific or not – this. is. so. true.
I always save a load of stuff I won’t need right away (like sheets) for my last load. I do this because I know that the last load will not get taken out of the dryer until the next laundry day. I’m fairly certain your theory is a better explanation of this than my just being too lazy to go downstairs to get it.
Ugh! Trying to come to terms with my “distraction problem” and not berating myself for once again forgetting what I was actually supposed to do vs. what I am currently doing has been a work in progress. I am a work in progress. There I said it. I have been trying to laugh at myself when, for example, I put the roast in the oven and then realize I had actually been watering the plants and then go back to watering the plants! Oi! Distraction is a definite for me too. You are not alone! Thanks!
Bah-ha ha ha ha…
that was hilarious and you had me LOL there at the end…
I think ALL THE TIME, about how much stuff I could get done if I weren’t tweaking photos in PICMONKEY!!!
But the pictures are just so cool!
So to the ‘time-space continuum- laundry conundrum’ …I fold my laundry as I take it off the line. It always takes longer in the Hot Texas Sun …or the Rain… than it does on the most pleasant of breezy days.
Then it is NEVER LONG enough…when you have 4 kids screaming they’re hungry for lunch, they want to go swimming, or someone is bleeding and needs possible ER attention.
Because let’s face it…I’ve always hung out laundry and it is my favorite task for a reason… because on a NORMAL Day… MY KIDS WOULDN’T GO ANYWHERE NEAR THE CLOTHES LINE…and I got at least 3-4 TEN MINUTE SEGMENTS of just me, God’s Creations, and my laundry….alone and by myself!
Truly it is a conundrum.
Pat
Oh laundry you evil evil turd monkey! (I have boys, they rub off sometimes…ahem…yeah….) I have soooo many excuses in this department and I really need start folding thing’s from the dryer. We are notorious for telling our boys to look in the laundry basket for their wanted shirt, pants etc. Fortunately, I started reading your blog before we bought multiple laundry baskets. It was a very real conversation my husband and I had over last summer. We’ve done so much better on dishes and 5(more like 30) minute pick ups. Laundry is the next beast to tackle. Pat I love your alone time idea!! Maybe I could incorporate that into Indiana and my dryer. lol
You… Take your clothes out of the dryer? When you arent about to wear it? … ?
On the Sundays I have Altar Guild duty and have to bring home wine-stained linens, I immediately put them in the washer to soak in cold water. Then I totally forget about them until I need to wash clothes (about every 4 days, only my clothes to wash since I live alone). So then I have to actually wash the linens so I can run a load of clothes, dry them, iron them (my very least favorite part of being on the Altar Guild) and return them to church. Last month I was sick – bronchitis then pneumonia. I didn’t have duty that month, I had it in December (including Christmas day). I DID get them washed and dried. Then set them aside to iron. Then tore my house apart one day when I couldn’t find my security badge for work so the linens kind of got moved, too. (BTW, turned out I was WEARING the darn badge – put in on, then my sweater over it). Then I got sick,, very sick. Feeding the cats, myself – that was about all I could manage. I got a phone call most of the way through the month – say, the communion veils (the cloth that covers everything before and after communion) with the crosses on them are missing – do you have them? Of course I do, they are in a safe place. Found one of them along with some other linens; got them ironed, returned to church. Last week, the safe place for the other one was revealed while I was getting the ironing board out to press fabric (making a pillowcase for a gift). So I ironed it, put it in a bag to keep it clean, and took it right out to the car for the next time I drove past the church. It only took me a month to do a 15 minute job. Slob mind in action!
And, of course, I’m looking at your photo thinking, “Oh, that holiday (?) Eeyore possibly flannel (?), possibly a sheet (?)is so cute! I wonder if I they still sell those?” Because I really need to obtain another cute item that I don’t really need….