First, let me say that in my non-expert opinion, there is no real definition for normal. If you have in-laws or have been a guest for more than two nights in someone’s home, you know this.
People are all unique.
So, having stated that no one is truly normal, let me define “normal” for the purposes of this blog. My husband recommended that I write this post because it seems that lately, when I refer to non-slobs as “normal,” a misunderstanding happens.
First, you have to understand that . . . I think I’m funny.
I recently overheard someone say condescendingly, “Well, y’know . . . everybody thinks they’re funny.”
My in-my-head response? Yeah, maybe . . . but I really am funny.
I think that my regular readers know when I’m trying to be funny. But new readers might not realize it at first, and could understandably be offended if I refer to something they might do, as something “normal” people wouldn’t do, and therefore they feel like I’m saying they’re not normal.
Confusing enough?
I’ll clarify that . . . I have no desire to be normal. I have taught my children from birth that we have no interest, as a family, in being like other people just for the sake of being like other people. We want to do what’s right, we want to have fun, and we want to be creative. Basically, who cares what other people do?
But, in the interest of helping any new-to-my-blog readers feel the welcoming acceptance that I want them to feel here, I’ll share some examples of what I mean when I call people normal.
Normal people open a can of spinach and immediately throw away the lid.
People like me see the lid hanging from the magnet on the can opener, pull it off, examine it to determine that it was spinach, and then stare into space for a moment, attempting to recall the last time they served spinach.
Normal people trip over a pair of shoes, think “Who left that there?” and feel irritation as they put the shoes away.
People like me trip over a pair of shoes, think “Ugh, I need to move those,” and then forget about them completely until the next time they trip over them.
Normal people walk into the laundry room and think, “When did that stack of clothes fall over?”
People like me use their full body weight to get the laundry room door to shut because that’s easier than sifting through the dirty clothes, used-to-be-clean-until-they-fell-over clothes, shopping bags, etc.
Normal people ask first-time-guests if they would like a tour of their home.
People like me lock their master bedroom door and instruct their children to direct guests to a specific bathroom.
I could go on . . . .
and on.
As I’ve explained before, a big part of this “coming clean” process was me being honest with myself. I had to accept that my brain works differently from those people whose homes seemed to always be presentable.
Not perfect, just presentable.
And I’ll take my brain, with all of its quirks, any day of the week. I’m glad I’m creative. I’m glad big projects and parties and plays energize me and give me tunnel vision.
It’s who I am, and I’m good with that.
But I’m not good with having to open the door only as far as it takes for me to squeeze myself outside and talk to a friend. I’m not good with wanting to cry because I realize that the one load of laundry I actually completed that week contained one-too-few pairs of undies. I’m not good with having enough energy to do a craft project with the kids . . . . but not enough energy to declutter the table before we can start.
So I’m finding ways to make my home livable that work for my brain. It’s one of the reasons I don’t read tons of organizing advice. Generally, the people who love to give organizing advice are the people who love organizing. Their brains are different than mine. While I’ve found some great ideas that I have been able to implement, I’ve found many that only served to overwhelm me.
I know I try to avoid giving advice, but here’s some.
You’re not normal. You’re you. Be you. Enjoy being you, and figure out what works for you.
This doesn’t mean we accept that “that’s just how I am” and quit trying to be better, it means that we accept how we are and find ways to improve our homes that work for us.
Could someone give me a hand getting down from this soapbox?
"Could someone give me a hand getting down from this soapbox?"
Nope…I think you should stay right there…'specially if you're going to be inside my brain while you're there.
I totally get your humor!! And even though I am an anal OCD type freak, I know what it feels like to push a door shut with my full body weight because what behind it is just too overwheming. I also take comfort in knowing there is always someone more effed up than me…is that messed up or what???
Love your comparisons. I'm definitely a "people like me"!
Well said!!!
"Generally, the people who love to give organizing advice are the people who love organizing." Amen. Amen. And AMEN! I've been avoiding THOSE kind of sites since I started my own de-junk process. 🙂
Oh, no, you really are funny. *I'm* one of those in the "everybody thinks they're funny" category!
Love it.
I don't give house tours either, and there is only one bathroom available for guests. I do worry that someday there will be an emergency and I'll have to let a guest use my bathroom.
When you find normal let us know.
I would fall into the people like me category too. I also think you are funny!
BRILLIANT! Love it.
Oh I just have to agree on this one:) Everyone is different. I've never found that someone elses way of doing things ever worked for me! I have to be me otherwise I'm miserable.
I'm new to your blog and totally dig your humor. I, too, am in the "everybody thinks their funny" category. Apparently, my humor is a litte too sarcastic for some people and comes off as offensive. Oh well, I think it's funny.
I just found your blog, and I think we may just be long lost twins separated at birth…
This is my life. Thanks for making *me* feel a little less abnormal anyway. 😉 (Normal isn't something I shoot for either).
I've heard about a book that is fantastic for this situation. It's called, "The House The Cleans Itself." Worth a read, for sure.
Don Aslett, janitor and author of dozens of books, has a book similar to that title. However, the house he designed to be easy to keep clean is deficient in clutterable surfaces and ludicrous crevices, etc.
The overall theme of all his books is decluttering. You can’t organize clutter, nor can you clean around it efficiently or effectively.
His books were my first enlightenment into decluttering, but it wasn’t until Dana came on to the scene that it actually seemed doable. Even with buying Dana’s books and understanding, I was still bringing in stuff that I neither needed nor truly wanted (making do instead getting the right tool/furniture).
It will happen as I actually get the excess out the door and to donation or dump.
I found your site by looking for a bathroom cleaning checklist. I LOVE organizing advice! But I am a naturally messy and disorganized person–i love the advice but have trouble with keeping it up. I edited and printed your bathroom cleaning checklist for my three kids. If they each clean the bathroom only once every three weeks, the bathroom will always be clean! I am on day one. I would be surprised it we even make to child number 2/week 2 on the schedule!
HA! I love it!
New follower from the blog hop!
Friending you on GFC.
Stop by sometime!
http://chicksdigcoupons.blogspot.com
HA! Great Post! I'm not normal either 😉 Thanks for posting on the Mystery Post Blog Hop!
Great minds must think alike…. I too am trying to define 'normal' and re-train my brain to take care of the things exactly like you mention.
I started following your blog b/c I saw it linked up to simple mom's project this month & it was only one of a few that was interesting & funny enough to read more than one post!
thank you for your honesty as a slob- I'm married to one- this has helped me decode his rational for not picking up after himself 🙂
Um… you're always talking about how you avoid giving advice, but you've come a long way and some of us could use the advice! So many of the things you write here seriously hit home for me. Well written.
Guests don’t even KNOW I have a second bathroom. ‘Nuff said!
If I can add to the conversation, I wrote a similar post awhile back, thinking about the importance of defining what clean looks like to each of us. (My husband and I are very different). It’s here:
http://momsinneedofmercy.blogspot.com/2009/11/messy-monday-what-is-clean.html
I think you are an exact clone of me. I think we might have been separated at birth. You think, act, do, and live the same way I do. You are the first person that i have seen that could put what I do and feel into words. Thank you for opening my eyes to realize that i am not normal, Im me! I love your site and I am hoping that I can kick my butt into gear and get things done around here.
🙂 Stephanie
I love that you realized it’s okay to not be normal!
I just found your blog through Money Saving Mom and can completely connect with your sense of humor as well as your struggles with keeping a semi-presentable home. I’m am so excited to continue reading. It feels wonderful to know that there is someone else in the world who get distracted as easily as me! Love your writing!
Welcome, Andi! We’re definitely not alone!
Thank you for telling me the “why’s” behind my behavior. Someone finally gets it…locking the master bedroom door, the library books (loved that post!), all of it.
Also, you are a hoot! I wish you lived by me…i’d invite you over (certain you wouldn’t use the wrong bathroom or peek in my bedroom! Ha!) and laugh and laugh! : )
I just stumbled upon you on pinterest and I am seriously every single one of these things. I literally have had ONE family over to my house in the 3 years we have lived in our home due to this. Most the time I just feel overwhelmed….I think I should continue reading on… LOL
I am so in love with you. I just found you, and I could cry knowing there are other people out there just like me. I always beat myself up thinking I am the only mom in the world who this stuff isn’t obvious to. Thank you thank you thank you!!!!
Welcome, Cari! That’s exactly how I felt when I started this blog!
“I am so in love with you. I just found you, and I could cry knowing there are other people out there just like me. I always beat myself up thinking I am the only mom in the world who this stuff isn’t obvious to. Thank you thank you thank you!!!!”
Ditto.
And am I the only one who surrounds herself with friends who have their homes all “together”, which is what I aspire for, but really makes me beat myself up even more that I “can’t” and they “can”?!?
Thank you for this…from the heart.
I can see SO much of myself in everything that you’ve said and I’m grateful to have found someone who gets it. All of my friends are relatively tidy and it feels awful not to be that way oftentimes.
It’s heartbreaking to feel like there is a thin line between lazy and overwhelmed; I don’t think people see the difference. For me it’s not a lack of desire or ability but more the knowledge that whatever I attempt is going to take me so much longer than it would take most others…my brain is just not wired to see a mess and tackle it. So, this is truly one of those cases of making a mountain out of a molehill but I finally feel like I might have found an answer to that.
Thank you for your blog and your understanding…it’s nice to be in good company. 🙂
Being anything other than a mainstream traditionally “Normal” person does have its inherent challenges, even if we’ve embraced our eccentricities and rather enjoy them overall.
I so enjoy reading your blogs for several reasons – only one of which is because they remind me of one of my favorite humor writers – the late Erma Bombeck.
Wow, that’s a big compliment! Thank you!
Ha! I just found your blog and I am already a fan. I’m a 33 year old mom to two kids and my organizational style is bipoloar. Everything is either OCD perfect (which is exhausting) or looks like a bomb went off in my house. I’m looking for motivation to maintain.
Love your blog – I will definitely be a regular here and will tell my friends about you!
Hi Katie!
Welcome, and thank you!
Oh! Yes! That is it!! I am organizationally bipolar. That is it. Thank you, Katie.
And I am very much identifying with the blog, too, Nony!
I am most definitely NOT “normal”. im just like you. I told my husband that often times I simply don’t “see” the mess. seriously. I thought there was something seriously wrong with me, until i read your blog.
I’m glad you found me! I’m still amazed at how many people relate to my struggles!
WOW. You are SO me. I grew up being called “scatterbrained”…by my own mother! I always tell people I can easily clean/organize a bathroom…because they’re small. But give me a whole house to clean/organize – and even with days on end to do it , it’s going to stay a mess. Because I get completely overwhelmed and find 18 other things to do. And then I forget I wanted to clean the whole house in the first place!
Needless to say, you are SO me. I am THRILLED to have found your site. 🙂
I’m so glad you found me!
I can’t tell you how relieved I am that I’m not the only one with this problem! I have done every single thing “normal” people don’t do! I was always SO embarrassed if anyone just popped by, and yes, I ussually didn’t let them in. One time I was out when a friend stopped by on a particularly messy day and when my husband called to finalize plans, first words out of my mouth were “DON’T LET HER IN!” But of course he had. I cried the whole way home I was so mortified! But now she knows when I say my house isn’t ready for a playdate, that I mean it, and has offered her house every time. I’m new to this normal people thinking. I’m just excited I have 4 picked up semi clean rooms for 3 days straight now! It’s all baby steps, right?
It’s definitely the little things!
Whoa! That’s ME! Glad I found someone I could actually relate to on this topic. I feel better already, truly I do 🙂
THANK YOU!!!! I have been so frustrated and critical of myself lately and I am SO thankful that there are others out there like me, and that you aren’t embarrassed about who you are!!! I needed to read this today!~
I blog as Nony (short for aNONYmous!) so I definitely understand the embarrassment! It has taken a long time, and comments like yours that show me I’m not alone, to be willing to come out and share these things about myself under my real name!
this is so my attitude – I’m hoping to pick up some tips from you that will work for me
a friend had a bumper sticker that I always liked ‘ normal people bother me’
Love that!
wow….you must be my twin!
I’ve listened to your podcasts back to back and I am convince we are the same person and we have the same sweet husband. You have literally changed my life over the past few hours. My husband was out of town this weekend and created a bunch of things to do all day Sat… And did not clean at all. Typical. You helped me take that first step and am going to make this change. It’s embarrassing. It’s time. You helped me realize that and not feel overwhelmed. Thank you so much for putting yourself out there. Thank you SO much.
Thank YOU so much for this comment, Elizabeth!
Omg that is so me.. not normal 😛 I did not grow up being clean and organized so that lovely trait has traveled into my home and I have no idea what to do about it! I don’t have people over because that would mean I had to clean.. and that would take too long.. and what if it was a last minute thing… that wouldn’t work either. Thank you so much for your podcasts! I have also read all there is about organizing and having a clean home but it has not worked for me… Why is it so hard to put stuff away after I’m done? :(( I definitely thought I was alone in not being “clean”.
You’re definitely not alone! And welcome!
Just found you, and man, you describe me exactly! I’m good with elaborate projects, not into cleaning up before or after. But the messiness gets me down, and I have been striving to do better. People who have a different kind of mind don’t get what a challenge it can be. Looking forward to exploring your blog!
Welcome, Jen!
OMG! How did you get inside my brain? Honestly, I can not believe that I’m not the only person greeting friends at the door. If they plan on an extended chat, we have to sit on the (dirty) chairs on the porch.
My plan for this winter break was to clean a room a day. I didn’t get past the piles of paper on my living room tables. Boxes of recycle papers later, it just doesn’t look any different! I did, however, wash, dry AND fold my clothes yesterday. Probably won’t put them away though.
I got to this blog post via the link in the Kindle version of your book. I can’t imagine how great I’ll feel when I start to process the actual book itself!
Thanks! 🙂
Welcome! And so glad to hear how you found me!
I love your blog, one main reason is that the very popular cleaning blog that I won’t name confuses me and yours doesn’t not. I wonder it I am alone is not understanding all that zone stuff? I also love spinach but I have to say the thought of canned spinach is eeewww. I guess a normal person wouldn’t pick out a minor detail in a blog and comment on it.
Ha!
“You’re you. Be you. Enjoy being you, and figure out what works for you.
This doesn’t mean we accept that “that’s just how I am” and quit trying to be better, it means that we accept how we are and find ways to improve … that work for us.”
THIS is my new favorite quote! I have 2 special needs children at home – one of whom is schizophrenic. You have put into words what I have been trying to teach them since they were little.
Now, off to post this on the bathroom mirror!
Yay!
This totally describes how my brain works. I always say “I’m wired differently.” My husband calls the distractions “catching butterflies.” I have learned, lately, to accept the fact that I am different. Yes, I zone out because I am thinking about the last time I made spinach, but it is who I am and I am learning how to work with my silly brain rather than fight against it. It took me a little over 20-years, but better late than never! lol
My personal slogan is: “Fight normalcy.” Supplemented with this year’s theme: “Improvise Freely”.
I’m feeling more liberated every day. 🙂
I really appreciate your keeping this up (on top of having a life) because it is starting to sink in, little by little. Everytime I leave a cabinet door open, I remember your video commenting on how you could miss that.
I’m between jobs now but recall describing myself at work as a ‘birds eye view’ ‘big picture’ kind of person. So much of homekeeping is a series of repetitive tasks (OK, boring, thankless, neverending minutiae are other words that come to mind). Nothing like the big, one-off creative projects I was getting paid to do.
So, now even with loads of time on my hands, our house is no where near as pulled together as when I worked FT and had only week-ends to dig in and get it ready for the next week. I envision an alarm clock ‘lightening’ round in my future!
Thanks for this support, Dana!
Hi- so loving this post:) and wanting to share 2 related quotes on the def of normal:
Normal: someone you don’t know very well.
And Freud, even in his day, said that there is no such thing as normal; that everyone approximates in some way or another toward psychotic. Meaning- we all have a little “crazy” inside us; just a question of where and how much.
Thanks again for being so awesome!!
When did I start writing a blog? Oh wait…this is you! It just sounded so much like my life! LOL Keep up the great work! I love reading your posts.
Thanks so much, Angel!
I read the “normal people vs. people like me” part out loud to my daughter. Her response (after laughing-you ARE funny) was “Mom, I didn’t know you wrote a blog!”
Hahaha!!! Love it!
You mean I’m supposed to invite people into my house??? lmbo!
Normal? I guess that means what you see the vast majority of people doing. I have known that on the outside, I appear totally normal, but when it came to being able to stay clutter free, I knew I was different. I am a person who wants to have a clean house, but it is almost like there is something physical stopping me from putting things away. I think one reason is that I am very creative and tasks like putting things away seem soooo tedious. It is like torture for me to do things where I am not creating. It was fun for me to think about cleaning. I loved shopping for the right cleaners, gloves, soaps, mops, etc. Then those things would sit in my house. I would make excuses as to why I had not started. I just needed to get one more thing to be able to begin. I am glad that you address issues like how your brain doesn’t work as other normal people. I know exactly what you mean.
I identify with this and you entirely! Except I would say “neurotypical” instead of “normal.” Turns out the reasons for this can be rooted in actual neurological differences. Not clear if this is something you’ve looked into, but do you ADD/ADHD too? This reads like any of the posts in my ADHD women’s support group.
“A setting on the washing machine” – best definition of “normal” I’ve ever seen.
We are birds of a feather. I do consider how other people live, but I can’t quite figure out why my life doesn’t seem to work that way. Perhaps they don’t recline on the sofa reading facebook posts in their “free” time. There is always a load of dishes, laundry, or trash to handle. Let me get on it.
Nony, I think one reason I liked your page right off was because I’m kinda in between “normal” and “slob brained” myself. I know just what you mean about the people who love organizing. The best advice I ever heard from someone of that type was “Don’t get organized. Get rid of stuff.” Who woulda thought? I have no interest in figuring out how to organize and keep way, way more stuff than I need. I want to reduce! 🙂 I make those occasional “normal” efforts at organizing and then end up with piles around or above the organization effort within a few weeks because of all the stuff that isn’t contained in the containers. 😉 So, thanks for your realness and honesty and encouraging us to rethink our possessions rather than trying to organize them all in nice pretty boxes. Some organization is helpful, but sometimes we need to just accept that we have too much stuff to organize and deal with that first!
Omg I love this!!!! This is totally me! I’m always trying to fit in to how I’m “supposed” to be instead of figuring out and sticking to what works. And I’m like that, with the stuff on the floor or clean piles of laundry that fall over are now dirty. Lol. My brain works the same way! Glad to hear I’m not alone in this. 🙂
Wow I could have written that word for word. This post resonates with me completely. Thank you I am sharing this post on my Facebook page, it is me to a tee!!! I am so glad I found your blog!!!
I’m glad you found me too! Welcome!
I resemble your “people like me” category. I think there’s just 2 categories of normal. Those focused on keeping a clean house and either enjoy it or hold it as a top priority, and then there’s us creative, oft overextended types who would rather do anything more creative than organizing. And while we wish it could be otherwise are not so aggravated by a mess that it forces us to change our behavior until it verges on the beginnings of a television reality show.
I really enjoy your blog and your humor and have found catching up on your podcasts a good complement to a decluttering project.
Omg. I can’t believe you were able to figure out the differences and write them out for the world to read. You are spot on and I definitely belong in the people like me group! Thank you!
Ha! You’re welcome!!
Thank you! I’ve been reading your posts via Facebook for a while and this post has really helped clarify why you seem to resonate with me!!
Be still my soul…thank you for defining “normal!” I cannot tell you how comforting it is to know my brain is not the only one that functions in such a way! Ahhhh!
Wow, just found you yesterday. This post about “us” resonated so much. It’s taken me many years to accept myself (and my creative/slob-brain) without shame. I grew up feeling shame for it, and that was reinforced many times over the years. (I didn’t have a husband who appreciated what I brought to the table, he only saw what was left on it. LOL. I say that jokingly, but it was one of his reasons for divorcing me, because yes, I had a pile of mail on the counter. This is apparently grounds for divorce in some states.) Your post–and some of the responses–make me want to cry. But crying STILL won’t get the work done, so I must go do it. Because I’m very uncomfortable living in a mess; it stresses me out. The tug of war between the stress-inducing mess, and the overwhelm of “actually doing something about it” is a battle worthy of the ancient Greeks. But I’m glad you, and your readers, are here. xoxo
So 4 1/2 years later I finally find someone I can relate to. I’m not sure what’s being taught in psychology classes today, but when I was there in 1973, the first thing they said was, “There’s no such thing as normal”. To which I say, Thank God, because if there was, I’d be even stranger than I am. Thanks so much for this post and all your other wisdom.
Found you’re blog this morning and have to thank you- the title alone gives me hope!!
I am always reading ‘ideas’ and ‘organizing tips’ on how to clean/declutter/become superwoman….and yet I still haven’t found a way to get it together…
Your honesty has made my day (probably week) and I feel beter than I have in months regarding my home after only reading about 10 of your posts.
Thank you!!!
Welcome, Susan!!! (Sorry I’m late going through comments!!)
Thank you! I finally think there is hope for me to make progress and have it actually stick. You motivate me more than I have ever felt motivated…by just acknowledging there are people like us who think differently than those organized people. I started on my master bedroom today after watching all 10 (?) videos of your decluttering in your master bedroom. It gave me the ummmph I needed. So, with the help of my 14, 16 and 20 year old daughters, we spent the better part of the day and it was so worth it. I think I might be able to walk from the bed to the bathroom without tripping over something should I have the need in the middle of the night. I started to worry that I might seriously hurt myself. You might have saved my life! Thank you.
Go you!!!
Of course, I’m like you 🙂
Wow! Just discovered your blog & I know I will be regular visitor after reading ‘defining normal’ turns out I’m not 😉 no real surprise to me or anyone who knows me but it’s nice to know I’m not the only one.
WOW! There really is hope for me. 5 years after this post was made, I found it…and what a relief to know that You Get It! Here’s to more inspiration from you & your readers…I’m going to need it. 🙂 I am ready….finally….
I’m a new follower and reading your blog from the beginning.
I feel so sad for those who have been shamed by some of those “normal” people who don’t understand our deep desire to have clean and orderly homes. It seems many of them consider us lazy and our situation as some type of moral failure. To me, it seems more like a “dyslexia of the home” where what is very clear to the “normal” person is fuzzy and hard to figure out for us. Just like the dyslexic person must learn strategies to cope with their issues, we must learn the necessary skills to do what may come naturally to others. It’s not because we’re lazy or bad people it’s just we need a different approach to conquer our difficulties.
Thank you for your honesty and bravery. You are a true inspiration to many.
Thank you for this comment! And I LOVE the idea of dyslexia of the home.
My sister introduced me to your blog. Our mom is a wonderful person and a dedicated slob. Your strategies are helping me, even though if you showed up at my house you would consider it “normal.” I was not taught how to tidy and clean so I am always looking for more help. Btw many of my favorite people are messies.
Your Youtube series on recleaning your bedroom was great. A truly normal friend said that I need to declutter each room in my house four times a year. Who knew?
I’ve also heard others described as “born organized.” And the “born organized” people look at us as though we have three heads when we ask HOW they do something because they don’t really know — they just DO it. The way people “just wake up” in the morning and have no idea what the biological process is that brought them to that point of being awake.
That is why I think that those of us who struggle still have something valuable to share. Speaking just for myself, I may not get it “right” very often, but when I do, it’s hard-fought AND I KNOW HOW I DID IT. That means that for those few things I’ve figured out, I have the ability to tell someone else how it came about.
So thank you, as an earlier commenter put it, for “being inside my head.” 🙂
Posts like this are exactly why I subscribed to your blog. There are a lot more “people like me” than there are normals, I can almost guarantee! I’m willing to bet that most of those normal people are people like us, just much better at hiding it. 🙂
A commenter, Marbel, mentioned that she didn’t give house tours either. Seeing the term “house tours” never fails to remind me of the day 20-odd years ago when a knock came at the door. I opened the door just enough to see several middle-aged women and a very old man. I was still in my pajamas at an unseemly hour and the house had been largely ignored in favor of “Days of Our Lives.” It seems these people were part of the large family who occupied our house back in the 50’s. They had come all the way across the country so Dad could visit the town, apparently one last time. I was flabbergasted and muttered something similar to Ralph Kramden on The Honeymooners when he’s flummoxed. Then I committed a horrible faux pas: I left them all out on the front porch while I tore up the steps and threw on the first thing I spotted in my bedroom. Yes, I made an old man wait on the porch on a hot day. I was glad to find that that someone had encouraged him to sit down while they waited. I wish I could say that turned me around but here I am, looking for help and living in fear of the next potentially life-changing incident. ?
Your post resonates with me. I’ve been messy since I could remember in school in the 6th grade I had 3 desks filled with paperwork but I was also creative. I’m still creative and messy but I would like to be presentable. It’s good to know there are other flawed people out there in the world.
Hurrah!! So it’s not just me then – I’m not normal either, but have spent years looking at friends’ immaculate homes thinking “Why can’t I do this?” and feeling like the worst slob in the world. It’s wonderful to know that there are other people who just don’t see the mess! So, henceforth, I will stop feeling like a failure and will start to be a bit kinder to myself. Thanks so much to you and to everyone else who posted before me – you’re my people!
I’m that person who tripped over those shoes… and kept going.
You are a breath of fresh air. I’ve always wondered, why can’t I be normal? Now I don’t feel so alone. All of those clear your clutter books were good reading, but could never be incorporated into my daily life. I’ve had 2 friends try to “help” me get organized, but they just couldn’t “get me”. Instead of trying to change me, I’m going to try to make things work with the me that I am. Your blog is a great start. Thank you!
Can totally relate to your “People like me,” with one exception… while my brain definitely functions differently than those with presentable homes, I absolutely LOVE organizational tools and organizing! My dilemma… I cannot seem to love it enough to do it on a regular or ongoing basis. Probably a future blog for me, “I’m good coming out the gate!” … but not much for stamina or crossing the finish line. And I don’t seem to trust the systems I put into place. So, yeah… I have trust issues… LOL
I’ve been reading your blog backwards for a month or so now, and I keep wanting to comment.
I, too, don’t even see messes as they are occurring (unless they are truly magnificent). Things on the floor only register enough for me to pick my feet up a little higher. I have made some progress, and your point about doing small daily routines (hello, dishes) and developing habits first (rather than making a huge effort to clean it all up at once) makes the best sense to me. But also, the part about purposely looking for clutter, because I don’t see it the way “normal” people do (or at least, not until they walk into the house. *Then* I see it).
And the best thing of all about your blog is the sense of encouragement I get that even I can learn how to keep the house decent.
Thank you so much.
Years and YEARS ago I read “the Sidetracked Home Executive.” Hours spent putting down all household tasks I didn’t automatically do. Timing them. Sorting them daily, weekly, monthly, yearly. Card file. Whew. It worked. For 6 weeks. Ever since I have a little mantra “PICK IT UP DONT PASS IT UP.” Thank you. Now I know what to do after I pick it up.
I found Normal, it’s a setting on our smart phones for font size!
amen!
I have AD/HD – Inattentive type (formerly known as ADD). I have so many ideas on how to clean, organize, and declutter, and my Pinterest addiction for ideas has thrown kindling on the fire! I think I relate to you because I was wondering if you too have ADD as well? I just found your podcasts on Spotify and I love them and I love how relatable you are and your humor. I just logged on your website for the first time today and I’m going to check it out as I think ‘you get me’. HAHA So far, I believe that here is someone that can help me that has the same brain as I, as my brain is not-typical as well and no judgement can come from this. Thanks Nona/Dana for your podcasts (I listen to them while I handwash dishes) and I look forward to looking over your website. Another mantra that I heard of a long time ago was don’t over handle items. Like when I come in, but my keys in the same place so I don’t have to ‘touch them again’ until I need them. I over handle or touch things too much which wastes time overall. I try to hang up my coat when I walk in the door instead of throwing it on the couch, or take my laundry down when I get up in the morning. Thanks again!
Yes, yes, yes! The clutter is keeping me from doing the creative, fun, relaxing, loving things I want to do. Thank you for this explanation. I appreciate your insight because it’s speaking directly to fun-frugal-innovative me.