Today, I’m sharing a guest post from a writer/actor/should-be-a-comedian friend from college. Just for a little background, I’ve mentioned him and his wife before here and here. Oh, and I’m adding in some Amazon affiliate links. Because I can.
When Dana asked me (pleaded, really) to contribute a post for her site, A Slob Comes Clean, or ASCC as we “insiders” call it, I asked her what angle she would like me to take. She said she didn’t care, and that I could write about anything. However, she quickly added that she would own all rights, royalties, and editorial privileges to the piece.
She did suggest I do an exposé about my most recent visit to her house. I pondered this, but considering that Mrs. White gave me carte blanche, I decided to instead write about what’s been preeminent in my thoughts lately: whether or not to jump on the Duck Dynasty
I mean, what else can I or anyone else say about cleaning a house?
Just kidding about the Duck Dynasty thing. I don’t have cable.
My wife and I have known Mrs. White for many years. I always thought she was a little untidy. (Not her person but her house/apartment/dorm.) She calls herself a slob, but she’s not really a slob. She doesn’t look slobbish at all. She’s really quite pretty and dresses cutely. (I don’t know if cutely is a word, but there it is; I said it.)
Now even though Mrs. White’s person is not untidy, I must confess that in the past I’ve seen areas of her home brimming with lots of stuff: socks, magazines, random papers scattered on the floor; pictures askew on the wall; Elvis costumes hanging from lamp fixtures; theatrical memorabilia taped to and draped across her headboard; unnamable, random items of junk piled up in the corners; and so on.
Basically, certain areas of her dwelling looked as if a small, run-of-the-mill nuclear explosion had occurred.
In the past, I could’ve gone into one of these rooms of hers, picked up an armful of stuff, thrown it across the room, and she would’ve never known it. I could’ve stood on a bed or sofa and taken a swan dive into a pile of stuff and would not have been found for weeks.
But in spite of the stuff piled from here to yon, to her credit, her house is not unsanitary. The bathrooms smell of disinfectant and appear clean. She and her family all wear clean clothes. They all bathe. They’re sanitary. I think they brush and floss. Mrs. White’s husband, Mr. White, wears clean Dallas Cowboys t-shirts and deodorant.
Nowadays, however, the condition of her home is a different story. Maybe a few dishes lay on the countertops, maybe a few pieces of dirty clothing lay on the floor here and there, maybe a picture hangs slightly askew on the wall, but the place is livable. It’s a home. It’s a place a family would want to live in. Except for Mr. and Mrs. White’s bedroom, no room is off limits.
(I have peered into their bedroom before and got my hand slapped by Mrs. White. Mr. White didn’t really care I don’t think.)
Every living space is usable—not piled to high-heaven with who knows what.
Maybe your house is like hers, clean but not “perfect,” lived in but not a museum. Or maybe your house is pristine, uncluttered, and with nothing out of place. Or maybe your house is a pigpen, only navigable via tiny paths between ceiling-high piles of crap. The fact is it’s your house. It’s the place you choose to live in.
If you want to change the condition of your home, learn from the advice and stories in this Web site, and do what it says to do. Some days, you may take baby-steps; some days, you may take giant leaps. Either way, get up and do something consistently and continually. Make it the way you want it. It’s your home, for goodness’ sake!
Jim Craft lives in Dallas, Texas, with his wife, Amber. He serves as an editor for a nonprofit organization in the Dallas area. When not at work, he and Amber somehow manage to spend all their time serving at their church, going to school, and remodeling—and decluttering—their mid-century home. He also holds the honor of being one the funniest people of Mrs. White’s acquaintance.
Now for the shameless monetization of this guest post. Did you know you can get Duck Dynasty
--Nony