I’m kind of questioning whether I should include this one in my series of Clutter Guilt Conversations this week.
It’s not my goal to offend the ba-jillion well-meaning people who’ve said stuff like this to me.
OK. Fine. I’ll share.
This is my favorite response when people just WON’T stop. When they insist they can solve all my problems with their two minutes of life-changing advice.
But even though I think this inside my head, I only say it out loud to certain people.
Warning: This doesn’t work for all personality types. Don’t use it with someone who can’t laugh about it with you later. Be ready for them to be mad at you.
When someone doesn’t know me, I just smile and change the subject. Like, interrupt them mid-judgmental-sentence and ask where they get their hair cut.
Really. And that is a MUCH better option, people. Much better.
But those who know me know to expect things like this to come out of my mouth. So here goes:
(Don’t watch it if you’ll be disappointed in me for NOT taking the high road on this one.)
Go here if you can’t see the video.
Other Person: Blah, blah blah . . . you know you really should . . . I have just never understood why anyone would want their house to be that messy . . . so on and so forth
Me: Wow. I don’t have the time right now since I’m decluttering, but someday, I want us to sit down and talk so you can tell me exactly how it feels to be perfect.
Here are my other conversations. They’re much more helpful:
Help! Please Save Me From My Stuff!!
Don’t forget about this amazing giveaway from Extra Space Storage. It ends TONIGHT! Hopefully, you’ll read this in time to declutter something (your fridge, a cabinet, a closet, whatever!) and enter the giveaway!! Go here for the rules and to find out how to enter!
--Nony
Bwahahahaha!! I love it!
Yep, I laughed out loud! Thanks for sharing. And good disclaimer, because that could backfire in some cases.
I actually think this is completely awesome.
Boom! Shut her down! Oh I seriously love these skits. And by the way that wig is crazy-pants!
These videos had me cracking up! My fiance thinks I’m nuts now. Oh who am I kidding? He knew that way before now! Love your blog. Thanks for the tips and laughs hehe.
I love this (and the “its not you it’s me” convo)! And this may just be me, but if you’re at the point where someone’s constantly doing this to you, the disclaimer isn’t even necessary, because really, why would you want or NEED that in your life?
You. Are. Awesome. And I’ve never even done that every word with a period thing before, but that felt like the right usage;-) You totally crack me up, and we are soooo from the same planet!!! And when my more-along-the-subclinical-OCD-lines friends try to simplify what I find almost impossible, I really do start to feel dumb and inferior (reality note: in most other ways I am actually educated and pretty intelligent:) so this was so validating! You rock, Dana;-)
Nony, I am only disappointed that the disclaimer didn’t say “DO NOT WATCH THIS WHILE DRINKING ANYTHING AND HOLDING YOUR COMPUTER” because that was the warning I really needed, lol!
Yes, diet cola up the nose.
And please, if anyone is going to tell me diet cola is bad for me, i know. I”m really busy right now, but someday, let’s sit down and you can tell me what it’s like to be perfect. 😉
<3
Hahahaha!!!!
Ok, sweetie- you were a lot nicer than what I would have been. I would have mentioned something about a high horse and must be easy to mount from that pedestal they’re on.
Nony- you are my personal hero!
LOVE THIS!!!! Enough said ! ; )
I love this!! So true. If someone doesn’t have this trouble, they just don’t understand. It is not like we mean to lay things down where they don’t belong. I once had someone say to me this. “I don’t understand. People just need to put down their clutter organizing books, and get up and do it. Don’t read about it. Just do it.”. O if it were just that easy. I wanted to say. ” Thank you. You just solved my life long problem with that one sentence.” (insert sarcasm).
LOL! Love it!
You had me at “snark.” That was great!
These videos have been hilarious. The first one is still my favorite!
Awesome! I love it. Now I need to watch the others that I missed. 🙂
“Thank you for your Unique point of view.” When talking about my OCD… or rather, been talked TO about my OCD, I have been known (ok, it was just that once) to smile and fein shocked awe and surprise and exclaim: “You are SO right! My doctors and I have never EVER thought about it that way. I’m cured. I will never again be bothered. Thank you so much!”
SOOOO true. I have a friend with chronic renal disease who sees the WORLD’s top renal doctor, but is repeatedly told by random people that if she would just drink more water, her problems would go away.
I’m sure it felt great to say that!!
Cute videos! For some reason, I have been thinking a bunch about “making sure everything has a place” since this post. I believe part of my problem with putting everything in its place is that I have stuff in that place already! To clear that spot would mean a big project (like going through a box from college days), which leads to tough choices and trying to decide where to put those things I want to keep, which also has something in that place. It’s like a domino effect that I don’t want to start (because I won’t finish in one sitting)! Ugh.
Hilarious! Thanks for helping me laugh while I work my way to success. Your drama talent is getting tapped to help all of us enjoy the process.
Hurray, you’re not a saint!! Good for you. It took me several years of grade iv endometriosis and dozens of “if you just cut out gluten/ate ridiculous amounts of watercress/switched to some other type of birth control”, very strong not-rolling-my-eyes-muscles and major abdominal surgery to learn that it’s nearly impossible to see what someone else has been through. So I finally learned to just take other people’s assessment of their own situation as valid. I’m a fellow slob, have been given all those awful admonitions too (“HOW can you live like this??!?”), but learned early this year that I have ADHD! Such a relief: it’s not a character flaw, it’s how my brain works! And now I get to unlearn all the awful comments that I’ve internalized all these years. Because it’s one thing to holding my tongue when other people give an explanation of their situation, quite another to accept the official diagnosis of my own. And to calm the harsh voice with which I speak to myself. So thanks for showing me a snarky way to go about it 😉