Another video for the Clutter Guilt Series I have going this week!
Honestly, other than just not telling someone I’m donating something they gave me, this is the method I use most. It’s what I’ve found to be most effective when explaining to someone that I need to get rid of something they think I should keep.
It’s always been pretty obvious to anyone I know that I struggle with clutter. People love to be helpful. Framing the conversation that way can really defuse the argument.
If you can’t see the video, watch it here.
Here’s the script:
The Please Save Me From My Stuff Approach
GUILTEE: (on the phone) Hey, how are you?
GUILTER: Good, what’s going on with you?
GUILTEE: Well . . . I’m working on getting the clutter out of my house.
GUILTER: (Too excited) Oh that’s great! I’m so glad!!!!!
GUILTEE: Yes, it’s so much work, but I’m determined to make get my house in shape!
GUILTER: Oh, I’m so proud of you! You are going to be so much happier when you’re done!
GUILTEE: Oh I know! I can already tell a difference in how I feel and I still have more to declutter!!
GUILTER: (Overly, annoyingly excited.) Lots more, I bet!
GUILTEE: Yes, and I’m amazed at how much easier it is to clean up in the rooms I’ve decluttered.
GUILTER: (Big, annoying, know-it-all nod) Mmm-hmmmm. Girl, you are sooo right. I think you’ll be able to finally keep it clean if you can get rid of all that junk you have.
GUILTEE: (crossed eyes and pained smile) Mmmm-hmmm. Thanks for the encouragement.
GUILTER: Listen, sweetie, if there’s ANYthing I can do to help you, just let me know. I mean, I’ve always wanted to get in there and . . .
GUILTEE: Actually, that’s why I was calling.
GUILTER: (Surprised) It is?
GUILTEE: Yep. I have an entire BOX full of things you’ve given me over the years that I’ve decided I don’t need.
GUILTER: (offended) Really? Hmmph.
GUILTEE: Yes, like all those games you gave me when you cleaned out your closet?
GUILTER: Mmm-hmm.
GUILTEE: We haven’t EVER even played them! And that old-timey-looking shoe-shining-thingy? I’ve never really had a place to put it, I haven’t shined a shoe in years, and I’ve tripped over it ten times in the last year! (hahahaha)
GUILTER: I just thought it was cool. And that you might like it.
GUILTEE: Oh I did. I did! I LOVED that thing! But you know me! Always thinking things are cool but then they just turn into clutter!!
GUILTER: well, I guess I understand.
GUILTEE: So should I bring that stuff over? Or should I donate it? It is going to help me SOOO much to get this house under control to get the clutter out!!
GUILTER: I guess you can donate it. I mean, if you really don’t like it anymore.
GUILTEE: Thank you SOOO much! I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your help!!!
--Nony
You know, I don’t even tell people anymore. I just donate the crap and move on. LOL I use to worry oh, they’ll come over and notice it’s gone! But they don’t! They either don’t come over often or they don’t even remember giving it to me so they never ask. And once in a while if they do ask, unless I know for a fact what I’ve done with it, I just say, it’s probably around here somewhere or gone! 😉 I really am loving your vidoes, though. I really think that for MANY people, guilt is a biggie. I think I’m just at a point in my life where I don’t care anymore. Is that bad? Probably. But I just can’t carry it all on my two very human shoulders anymore.
I don’t think it’s bad that you don’t care, it means you are putting yourself first! Guilt is not feeling anyone should endure. Good for you in just making the decisions necessary to be happy.
Not bad at all! It’s good!!
My daughter just watched this with me and said “That lady is a brat. Not her, that other lady.” You should be pleased with your acting skills! 🙂 I’ve had THIS exact conversation before and I so appreciate this series! Thank you!
Yes! I use this with in conjunction with “it’s not you, it’s me” all the time. 😀
I just +ied in my pants laughing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111
you are awsome
I could listen to these scripts.every.single.day. You are hilarious and why aren’t you on tv? I’d watch!
I’m thinking you’re the nsa and listening in on my convos for these scripts……
Hee hee!!!
This is a pretty nice way to go about it Nony. Thanks for sharing!
Goodness these are all so dang funny! The annoyed pursed lips look at the end made me giggle so hard 🙂 please do more skits after this series is over! They are so awesome!
So funny! And your hair all messy like that is super cute, hot mama! I’ve loved this series!
So… what type of conversation should I have with a person… oh let’s just say MY MOTHER … who is getting new furniture and has this really nice, cream leather couch that doesn’t fit her new style anymore but is too good to be thrown away and is pushing you to take it? It started off with “Hey, I’m getting new furniture. Do you want my couch?” To which I respond, “That couch is a heck of a lot nicer that the one you let me take when I got my 1st apartment 14 years ago, but it doesn’t fit my living room style (black cloth couches), and while I’ll be looking for new-to-us furniture for the kid’s hang-out room in the basement in the future, I really don’t have the room for it now. I’m not interested in working around a really nice couch and destroying it in the remodel process” So she tries to give it to my sister, and she doesn’t have room for it. She tried to donate it to an ARL fundraiser, but the people never showed up to haul it away. So then I suggested Craig’s List and I’d help her put in her garage so random strangers didn’t come into the house (which she was worried about). Fast-forward to 2 weeks later and I get a panicked call. “My furniture came in early. It will be here TOMORROW. I need you to come get this COUCH YOU WANTED!!!” As if my “sell it on Craig’s list” wasn’t clear enough? So we go over there (she lives 2 doors down) and get it out of her living room with more ease that I expected. She guilts me into at least trying to get it into our basement. It is a perfectly good couch and would be great for the kids. 20 mins later after a purple, swelling hand from a door jamb smash and a potential dislocated rib from an improper shove, the darn couch is in my garage because it was going to rain over night and I couldn’t bear to see the couch ruined. And since I’m in Iowa, it’s getting cold out and mice are on the move, I have a circle of rat/mouse poison around said couch to protect it from critters that want a warm place to nest that I’ll have to clean up. I thought I already said no, but somehow it’s in my possession. Side bar – can I send her my medical bills? Just kidding.
LOL…aren’t parents SO much fun sometimes. 😀
Sometimes I wonder if the people who keep trying to shove their unwanted things on people who have too much clutter do it on purpose. That in some strange way, they like the fact that contributing to our clutter issues makes their homes look even better? My sister has never allowed clutter in her house – and a good part of that reason is because she likes to give it to me. I was very proud of myself the last time I was there. She had a good size box of knickknacks she no longer wanted and seemed surprised when I didn’t want them either. She’d hold up one thing, then another saying, “You don’t even want THIS?” Sorry. Decorative items require a place, and the time to dust them. Therefore, I keep them to a minimum, but thanks anyway.
So even when you refuse other people’s castoffs, they still try to guilt you. LOL…fortunately, that doesn’t work on me anymore. If I want a figurine, it will be one I bought because I loved it, not because someone guilted me into taking something they no longer want.
I’ve been known to respond, “well you don’t want it, why would I?”
LOL! I’ll have to remember that. Right now, I’ve been with the ‘just say no’ option, and so far it’s been working. Hopefully, the people who try to get me to take their castoffs will get the idea that I really don’t want them, and never really did. 😀
My problem is that I have some ceramics that my mom had made, but one or two pieces I will never use. I don’t feel right donating it because her name is inscribed on the back. 🙁