I just posted about this week’s hangout where I’ll discuss Habit Two in 28 Days to Hope for Your Home.
You know. The e-book I wrote about getting your house under control.
And now I have to write this post.
Yesterday, I was feeling pretty good about my house. With the motivation of an impending doorbell on Sunday night, I got “the house” fairly together over the weekend.
I (thought I) rocked Laundry Day yesterday. All but one lousy sheet went through the laundry. Everything got folded and put away straight out of the dryer. No love-seat-pile-up.
I kept on my daily habits and we had Family Kitchen Clean Up time. When I went to bed, the dishwasher was running.
My living room looked like this.
And then, at 3 a.m. . . . I awakened in a panic.
Backstory:
We had our house treated for termites just after we moved in. (A long story which ends with us never buying a FSBO house ever again.) The treatment came with a lifetime warranty that’s valid as long as we pay a small fee every year and have them come out and check for further termite damage.
We changed our phones up recently, and the Bug Company didn’t have our number anymore so they sent us a letter. When I called yesterday morning, they immediately said “OK, we’ll be there at 9 a.m. tomorrow.”
I said OK. Somehow my Slob Survival Instinct did not kick in.
I just said . . . OK . . . and never thought much more about it.
Until 3 a.m.
When I awakened with a start in total blackness. Though I couldn’t see a thing, I knew that my master bedroom looked like this:
Right.
My master bedroom is again . . . a disaster.
I had been planning to share at some point.
But I was dreading it.
Y’know, after the whole Master Bedroom Saga I did last year at this time . . .
And then there’s the whole why-share-until-I-fix-it-and-I’m-not-ready-to-tackle-that-monster-yet thing.
Ugh.
WHAT was I thinking when I said the Bug Man could come into my house??
At 9 a.m.?????
It never even crossed my mind to spend yesterday frantically cleaning! Really, I’m wondering if I’ve lost my ever-lovin’ Slob Mind?!?!!
But it was 3 a.m. and our house isn’t set up to allow Mama to frantically clean anything without waking up everyone. Besides, the rest of the house really did look decent. (Remember that living room pic above? With two measly socks and somewhat askew furniture?)
It was the BEDROOMS I had been pretending didn’t exist.
I tossed and turned until 4, thinking of all the other ba-jillion things I’ve failed to get done.
At 4, I got up and quietly fixed our WiFi (which had mysteriously stopped working the night before), wrote up my show notes for my second podcast, answered a few emails, and scheduled some doctor appointments online.
When Hubby woke up just before 6, I drank my coffee, did my Bible Study and then headed into the Battle Zone. At that point, I didn’t care whom I awakened.
I grabbed a trash bag and started plowing through. My goal was to take it from Total Disaster to Hmmm-This-Lady-Is-Messy-But-At-Least-I-Can-See-Some-Of-The-Floor.
I wasn’t going for clean. I wasn’t going for decluttered. I just wanted to lessen the horror. To make it possible for Mr. Bug Man to walk through the room and see the walls.
I had moments of paralysis when I found myself staring at this:
A broken tiara, a belt that has a place to hang in my closet, fake money and a too-small swim shirt. I followed my own decluttering advice and took the belt to the closet (duh), the swim shirt to the Donate Spot and threw away the fake money and broken tiara.
No one needs a broken tiara.
Really.
I did stop to go make lunches for my kids and empty the dishwasher. Now let me say that this is big for me. To go do piddly daily tasks when such huge stuff hangs over my head would never have happened pre-blog.
It might not have happened last week.
But I understand how important that momentum is. In just a few minutes, I can have a CLEAN kitchen. I chose to have a clean kitchen and a messy room instead of a messy kitchen and a messy room.
A little shoving here and there, and by the time I left to take my daughter to school at 7:25, it looked like this:
I kept floor-clearing and called it done when it looked like this:
I felt better until I turned around and saw this:
A few minutes later:
Oh. The shame.
Just in case anyone ever thinks I’m proud of being a slob, let me just state that I’m not. I hate it.
Yes, I’ve learned to accept myself in order to work combat it, but I just hate that when things get chaotic and I’m barely hanging on in the parts of the house where people might see, I let things get like this behind the lockable doors.
I spent the rest of the time before 9 frantically taking my kids’ rooms from Scary to Messy.
Ugh.
So there you go. My reality, that even I didn’t comprehend until 3 a.m. this morning.
NOTE: e-book 28 Days is now retired, for detailed guides, check out my books:How to Manage Your Home Without Losing Your Mind and Decluttering at the Speed of Life.
___________________________
Note: I’ve published two other posts today. One is my newest (my 2nd) podcast. The other is the link to this Thursday’s Google+ hangout which will cover Habit Two from 28 Days to Hope for Your Home. (Obviously, Habit Two isn’t keeping your Master Bedroom tidy.)
NOTE: Google+ hangouts are no longer available for viewing (so sorry!) and 28 Days to Hope for Your Home is now included in my book, How to Manage Your Home without Losing Your Mind.
--Nony
Thank you for making me feel “normal” that I am not alone, and we can work on it “together”. 🙂
Although I consider myself mostly recovered from being a total slob, it’s ALWAYS my master bedroom too. What is that? Drives my hubby crazy. I have to find a way to do a better job in this room. Sigh. Sometimes it feels like the struggling will never end.
i have to say how comforting to know that i am not the only one with a bedroom that looks like that! we moved 5 months ago and i have kept up on most everything else but my room and my gosh that could be my own picture.. minus the amazing fireplace you have! 🙂 i will work on mine today! ~Nicole
Oh, I so resemble that remark! My bedroom is always last. I read all those marriage blogs that say your bedroom should be a haven of rest and set the mood for romance and think bah humbug! When we make it there we have no trouble resting and consider it romantic if we get there at the same time, lol. As the children’s song goes, “He’s still working on me, to make me what I ought to be!”
YOU ARE FUNNY, RUTH S. AS WELL AS NONNY, AS SHE PROMISED IN HER THE FIRST POST. I LAUGHED A LOT , WHILE READING THIS POST. I AM TRYING-TO-RECOVER-SLOB-TOO…;-0
We can laugh about it or get more frustrated and stressed. Your worth is not based on whether your bedroom is spotless! My grandmother had a saying when she wanted to go fishing and something else needed doing. She said, “If today is the only day there is, it won’t matter anyhow.” She was born in 1889, had 8 children, and both her mother and mother-in-law lived with them. Her husband was killed at 55 when he was struck by lightening. She survived until the month before her 90th birthday. So I learned, handle the immediate crisis, and go fishing as often as you can!
What a great story and life philosophy!
That’s too funny! I have the same problem in my bedroom…too much room, not enough space. And every time I go to bed, I feel fortunate to get there. Of course throw cats who like to nap wherever people may walk and it’s like a minefield. I have to use my cell phone like a flashlight…but I always get there with no broken bones. 🙂
So funny! I have a Bengal cat and a dog who is black who likes to walk in front of me and stop unexpectedly as I’m using my cell phone for a flashlight. Then she has the nerve to act insulted if I accidently step on her foot!
Glad I’m not the only one who has a multipurpose cellphone, lol. I have a mostly black pit bull mix (including part goat!), a black cat, and one who is dark gray. They all blend in with the dark very nicely. They all think I’m being abusive or something if I trip over or step on them. 🙂
I just realized what I said in the first comment. I have too much STUFF and not enough room. :/
Thank you, Nony, for being so honest and real. In the world of “Pinterest Perfect”, it is quite refreshing. You’re an inspiration, and I am grateful for having found your blog. 🙂
Agreement with Melody G…
Here here, Melody. Pinterest will make a girl crazy. Seriously.
Ooh…I never thought of getting photos from Pinterest. I have a folder on my computer with ‘before’ pictures, and have collected some from Google for my ‘goal’ folder. I’m not sure why because mine will never be perfect. Why? Because life is just too short to aim for perfection. I just want ‘neat’ 75% of the time (and near perfect when I’m hosting a family get-together…which isn’t often).
This is totally what my master bedroom looked like before last week. And what was under those clothes??? Don’t even get me started about huw much crap I vacuumed up, coins I picked up off the floor, not to mention general trash. Yeesh. I even got my hubs to clean up the basement some while I cleaned our bedroom (yay!). Thank you for sharing as it helps me feel more normal!
Thank you for letting me feel less alone. Your room looks like my room, and you seem like a lovely, respectable person…so maybe I am too! It’s so easy to be self-loathing about this stuff, especially when comparing myself to others. Your blog does give me hope 🙂
You are my sister from another mister! I just found your blog and am still in shock that there is another person exactly like me! And you’re funny. I’m in shock!!! Can’t wait to look around.
So glad to see that I am not the only one that has a bedroom that could be featured on the show Clean House. At least the rest of the house doesn’t qualify anymore! 🙂
I frequently say ‘I cleaned house’ what I meant was I cleaned all of it but the bedrooms especially my bedroom. I did clean it recently, but I spent 4 days hyper-focusing on it and the rest of the house became total chaos. (Do you know what a house looks like with 3 kids and no one cleaning for 4 days!) I need to learn how to keep a routine and carve time out for decluttering and major cleaning!
Thank you for the reminder! It had completely slipped my mind that our termite guy comes next month, and he likes to just stop by when he sees a car in the driveway. I’ve been mortified on more than one occasion during his visits, but your reminder gives me time to start getting the house in order (especially the guest/storage room.)
Thanks so much for writing this! My house gets to be such a disaster and I am so embarrassed it is nice to know I am not alone
{hugs}
Hi Nony/Dana, it is so comforting to know that I am not the only adult who ends up with a bedroom that looks like this! Unfortunately, as I write this, the rest of my home is not much better….. Sadly, I have come to the realisation that maybe I AM a slob – I’m not proud of it either, but accepting that fact, I hope, will help me to make a start in changing my way of doing things on an everyday basis. Thank you so much for this post.
WE ARE SLOBS but we are also great moms, aunts, sisters, daughters ………………….we give we work we love to the extreme. being a SLOB is just part of it and accepting it is just the start of the cure (right)
I say it too I AM A SLOB but I am trying to change and that’s all I can do. So let’s do this journey together 🙂
Hi Monique, I just caught up on your reply, and yes, you are so right. All we can do is accept ourselves and move on to trying to change. It is a journey and we can all support each other in this. Thanks for your great insight.
My master bedroom had gotten pretty darn close. I actually paid my niece a bit of $ to come over and help me clean it. Because I know my limitations. Got a sink full of dishes right now…. arghhh!
Like I mentioned above, I’ve got a folder on my computer of ‘before’ photos. I do NOT have one for my storage room…I mean my bedroom. One of these days…soon, I hope…the Hospice store is going to get a major donation from me. Even with a van I may have to make two trips, but I’m getting rid of a bunch of stuff. I would love to have the whole peaceful, relaxing bedroom experience, but it’s hard to do when you have too much stuff. I just need to put your method to work…the easy stuff first. Bag and box up what I want out of the house.
Now I’m heading to the kitchen to drain my latest batch of pre-cooked burger. This is the fourth time I’ve done it in a month. Nabbed 4 family size packages that were marked down this afternoon. My son and I don’t quite know what to do when we run out now. But then it’s the few dishes from that and supper. Love waking up to a clean kitchen. Like everyone else says, it’s very motivating reading about your journey. 🙂
I see your pics of your master bedroom and I am shocked..as if she lets it get that bad…and then realize if I were to take a pic of mine it would resemble it quite a bit.lol..(my closet is HUUUGE and it is more like a storage unit at the moment.My living areas are a ton worse…but I never seem to see it until its everywhere…and then I am overwhelmed…today’s project is to have the kids grab a bin and fill it with 25 things. Then I go through it and send them to the areas where these things need to go….sigh,…most is trash or sink (toddler likes to help empty dishwasher and dishes end up everywhere…) each kids does it twice before school and twice after school….maybe again after supper??? it makes a dent enough that I can then not feel desperately hopeless….
If my worth is not based on whether or not my bedroom (or other room) is spotless, why do I feel like that? I just spent 5 hours cleaning my bedroom Sunday, taking 10 minute breaks now and then to drink iced Starbucks and watch King Kong . I know that FlyBabies advocate baby steps and setting a timer for 15 minutes, but I need to see real results and can’t wait. Vacuumed and shampooed several dried kitty hairball blops off the carpet. Emptied the Dyson Animal 4-5 times. Washed sheets and even the mattress cover. Moved heavy furniture to get underneath. It looks so good, I smile widely when I enter that room to relax on my chaise & watch television after work. It was worth every minute of that 5 hours to get it to almost perfect. And it’s not perfect. It’s dusty under the television and the wardrobe closet mirrors have not been wiped in several months and look foggy. I got too tired to do anymore and my arms ached. My biggest fear is that I will let it get to the bad state again instead of keeping on top of it.
Go you! Great job getting all that done! Just remember that if it gets bad again, you’ll just clean it again. That’s what I have to tell myself. (Obviously.)
Every person I know who is like us is loving and giving to a fault. Sometimes that’s why we don’t get to our own homes is because we’re doing for others. Yet, we are terribly hard on ourselves because we can’t do it all. I’ve had to spend weeks on bedrest and that’s when I learned my worth was not based on what I could do. It was a hard lesson. And your enjoyment of that clean bedroom will give you that little extra nudge to keep it picked up. Since I’ve started doing my dishwasher every night, if I consider leaving the dishes because I’m tired, all I have to do is remember how I felt getting up to a dirty kitchen and I go ahead and do it.
I always feel really at peace when my master bedroom is clean. I don’t feel at peace very often. Hardly ever, in fact, lol.
I am so glad to see someone else who makes sure the “living” rooms or those everyone can see are nice enough (most of the time) but lives in a bedroom knee deep in “stuff”
and as I read the comments I see we are all in the same boat and we all feel it sinking……but we will get there little by little we just have to believe we can.
WE CAN DESLOBIFY!
Sooo helpful to see that this is an ongoing day-in day-out process. You figured out how to deal with what you had to, without spending time beating yourself up.
I am currently panicking. I have been a slob for a long times the other night I noticed that a mouse was sitting on the counter next to the stove watching me cook dinner. Rodents terrify me. You know what else is terrifying. The thought of the exterminator seeing how much of a slob I am. So I’m cleaning up but the doggone mouse keeps jumping out at me.
See… here’s my question? Probably rhetorical… Is it in our DNA? Because I am definitely predisposed to slobdom. My husband is even worse. I’ve only managed to get a handle on it because after moving twice in 6 months I just started being brutal and throwing crap out and purging to donate. My garage is almost empty. We hope to park in it before the first frost. Ha ha ha… but seriously why does it seem to come so effortlessly to some and I have to constantly be aware of slobdom. I thought it only takes 2 weeks to establish a habit? Bah ha ha… I consider it a good day if I get my dishwasher running and get my laundry day done. Ha ha… Slob DNA… I gots it.
I.love.you. Thank you so much for making me feel better. Our “bug man” (lady actually) comes every 3 months and sees EVERYTHING.
I know I am very late to this game but I just “found you”. I am going through your podcast right now and had to find this blog post. You are amazing. Thank you so much for sharing your heart and your pictures. I feel so at peace now and feel like I can do this!
I have only recently found your podcast, and am enjoying every minute of it. Finally, someone like me 🙂 Thank you for your courage in sharing all of this – I look forward to listening to the podcasts, starting from #1! 🙂
I stumbled upon your podcast 2 days ago, and started from the beginning. I’m a little late to the party, but my relief was so profound when I listed to your first cast and thought – are you me? Thank you so much for your honesty and candor. My house is constantly a mess, and I go through phases of “crisis cleaning” (I never had a name for it, before now). It’s so great to know I’m not fundamentally broken, and there is hope for me! My SO is moving in this weekend and I’ve been in panic mode – so much so that I used some of my sick time at work, in the MIDDLE OF THE WEEK, to get a head start on the cleaning I should have been doing a little at a time for the last 2 months. Thank you for letting me know I’m not alone.
I had to comment, listening to podcast 003- (still engaging and relevant and entertaining!) and you referenced ‘Panic at 3 A.M.’
I thought, Oh darn, how could I ever find that on the blog (but I have to see the level of mess!!) ? Yet google is so smart it popped up right away, low and behold dejavu that I had done this exact same thing before and yes, the room is comfortingly messy, (and the episode is so good its new and interesting every time apparently!)
I am still having a hard time wrapping my head around your method, not because it doesn’t work, because I subconsciously can’t follow directions to a T and have to wander around in circles for ages before I finally clue in and get it done.
Never stop! I love your encouragement, helpful tips, honesty and commiseration. Bless you!