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Dana K. White

A SLOB COMES CLEAN

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My Life of Irony

January 27, 2011 By Dana White | 9 Comments

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I’ve said it before.

I live . . .

a life . . .

of irony.

I should really expect these things to happen.

Last Friday, I wrote a post about my friend whose home is always clean and who finds joy in her cleaning routine.  I mentioned how she regularly moves her furniture when she vacuums.

I might have just thought I was pretty funny when I then said something like:

“(I’ve accidentally moved my furniture before, and moved it right back . . . choosing to deliberately delete from my memory what I saw under there.)”

OK, fine.  I did think I was funny.

Now for the irony . . . 

Two days later, while our Sunday night home group was here, one of the sweet, recently-mobile babies reminded me of something I had forgotten, now that I am no longer in the baby stage.

Even though I justify pretending that the junk under the couch doesn’t exist because I can’t see it, recently mobile babies . . .

. . . are eye level with it.  

And that seriously adorable boy kept coming up with random dust-bunny-covered items that he was finding under there.

So today, I decided to be a martyr, and actually cleaned under my couches.  See, moving couches seems like a spring-cleaning task, and I tend to put off those kinds of tasks because there are so many other, more obvious, trip-over-able tasks to be done.

I found all kinds of things under there.  Crafts, coasters, a single swim-shoe three sizes smaller than any of my kids can wear.  Most of it I threw away, reasoning that if I hadn’t missed it, I could live without it.

But I also found . . . . the library book that we lost!!!

Last summer.

Yay!!!  We’re not crazy.  It didn’t disappear into thin air!

Ugh.  Now we have to show our faces in the library again, return it, and pay the life-savings-esque fine.

And just in case you’re tilting your head, smiling with closed lips, and thinking that I shouldn’t act like I’ve been singled out by some kind of cosmic plan to make my slob-life laughable . . . that same home group includes someone who is 6 feet and 7 inches tall!!!!

Seriously.  He can see the top of my fridge without even standing on his tip-toes!

Is there no place for this slob to hide in her own home???

_________________________________

Related Posts:

Read Newer Post Organizing the Laundry Room
Read Older Post A Belated Birthday Giveaway! – And My First VLOG!!!

Filed Under: decluttering | 9 Comments

Comments

  1. MamaLaundry says

    January 27, 2011 at 7:01 pm

    Now that was the laugh I needed today! That part about the swim shoe 3 sizes too small…oh I can relate.

    All 4 kids and I have had the flu for the past week or more. You can only imagine how bad my house looks. This morning I needed my son's nebulizer for an asthma flare-up. Do you know how long it took me to find it??

    1 and half hours. Of consistent searching.

    Oh yes. It is shameful. And I'm a nurse! But I seriously did look behind our couch for it since that seems to be such a common place for items to disappear to.

    I can't wait until I feel better so I can get things a little more straight!

    -Lauren

    Reply
  2. Nony the Slob says

    January 27, 2011 at 7:13 pm

    Oh Lauren, I hope you feel better soon! My little one has had something, and I'm hoping it doesn't get around to the rest of us!

    Reply
  3. Busy Mommy says

    January 28, 2011 at 3:15 am

    Love that you found the library book!!! 🙂 Our's turned up at my mom's house under her sofa!!! I had already paid for the book, resolving that it would never be found. Took it to the library and they refunded everything but $5 for processing fees. I was happy!!! Hope your library is as generous.

    Reply
  4. crystal says

    January 30, 2011 at 10:00 pm

    I am now addicted to your blog and I think we're identical twins!! I cram all visitors into one room and don't let them venture into other rooms where things under sofas could grab them…

    Reply
  5. Polska says

    January 31, 2011 at 6:36 pm

    A friend recommended this blog and I've been reading along. I have also found a library book (that I already paid to replace because I thought it must have fallen out of the car because it simply wasn't *anywhere*) under the couch that I lost the previous summer. Hang in there and keep up the good work!

    Reply
  6. Sue says

    July 7, 2015 at 5:06 pm

    My ex-husband used to complain that I didn’t dust the top of the fridge. I said, you see it, you clean it. He’s 6’4″, I’m 5’0″. Who sees it anyway?? (I still don’t clean it and he’s been “ex” for a LONG time.)

    Reply
  7. Katia says

    October 16, 2015 at 8:27 pm

    Well, I hope I find MY library book before I reach presence in reading your blog 😉

    Reply
  8. Sharon says

    February 20, 2019 at 3:58 pm

    Thanks for the laugh!!! I was trying to figure out why you mentioned the 6’7″ friend in your group, and scrolled BACK to see if you’d said something about height before reading the NEXT LINE!!!

    My husband always ran his fingertips across the top of my mom’s fridge (as though he were wearing a ‘white glove’ to check) when we visited, so she always made sure it was dusted before we visited. AND she always delighted in finding ANYTHING on the top of my fridge, knowing the hubs didn’t want anything stored up there.

    Reply
  9. Linda says

    June 20, 2021 at 11:14 pm

    I have been waiting for that library book to show up. Yay

    Reply

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