Alternate Title: Nony’s Inner Monologue
Wow. I’m hungry.
It’s almost one o’clock! How did that happen?
Oh right. I wanted to get that post finished. Then when I finally went to the kitchen I saw the sausage was thawed enough to cook for those sausage biscuits for the freezer.
Then I had to change over the laundry.
Seriously. I’m starving now.
Nothing sounds good. Why didn’t I buy any candy? The kids are in school now and I could totally eat candy for lunch and they would never even know.
I wonder if I could write a blog post about that?
Wait! I bought eggrolls at Costco last week! I’ll make some of those.
Ugh. They’re in the freezer in the garage.
Blech. I have to walk all the way there, all the way back here with the box, and then all the way back to put the box back out in the garage.
Wait. If I take the pie pan out there with me, I can just put the eggrolls on it and save myself TWO trips!
I. Am. So. Smart.
Sometimes.
I wonder if I could write a blog post about that?
(Rip. Rip. Tear. Tear.)
Oops. I think that was the bottom of the box. Whatever.
I wonder if I could write a blog post about that?
I’m glad this box of 45 eggrolls has them divided into pouches of fifteen.
Oh my word, what is this pouch made of? I don’t know if I can get . . . it . . . open.
There. Got it. So glad they didn’t go flying onto the floo . . .
Oh my word. Where did that thing go? It bounced off my toe and I’m pretty sure it shot under the shelf.
I do not want to pick up that eggroll. I do not want to get down on the GARAGE floor and find where it rolled.
Wait. These are vegetarian eggrolls. That means . . . no meat. Surely meatless eggrolls would stink waaaayyy less than ones with meat.
Which somehow makes it okay to leave it??
Fine. I’ll get it.
But really, I wonder how long it would take to start stinking.
No. How would I explain the petrified/rotted eggroll to Hubby next time we clean out the garage?
Fine. I’ll get the stupid eggroll. IF it didn’t roll too far under . . .
It didn’t roll too far. Minimal time-on-floor required.
Whew.
Where’s the camera? I could totally blog about this.
--Nony
Andrea @the Distracted Housewife.com says
This sounds like one of my inner monologues. Seriously get out of my brain! Glad you found the egg roll and glad you posted I needed the laugh and reassurance that someone else’s brain works like mine.
kim says
The question remains….. Did you EAT the eggroll? I did notice that you didn’t mention what hapened to it after the picture. 🙂
Dana White says
NO!! I assumed that was a given!!
Joan says
Not a given. I wondered the same thing. Couldn’t say which way that was going.
Dana White says
So funny, because my husband asked the same question last night!
Crystal & Co says
The story of my life. Love it!
Kristy K. James says
Glad you went after the egg roll because the story made a great post! I have internal arguments with myself on a fairly regular basis. Sometimes over silly things, sometimes over keeping my mouth shut so I don’t start an external argument with someone else. Even about things I know will be really bad for me. Fortunately common sense usually prevails. But it’s nice to know others struggle with those same things. 🙂
Theresa says
Too funny! A fellow slob thanks you for the laughs!
Hilary Cook says
This post is hilarious! I can so see myself doing this. I really enjoyed reading this post. So dang funny.
Tina @ Girl Meets Globe says
That was great Dana! Thanks for a good laugh!! Please totally keep blogging about stuff like this!!
Safepethaven says
Or, alternate scenario: walk to freezer, take out pkg of 15-only egg rolls, walk back to kitchen. Get kitchen shears out of drawer & open pkg for the 1 or 2 egg rolls that suffice as my immediate lunch; microwave to kill increasing hunger pains. While microwave is defrosting/heating up my lunch, put remaining 13 egg rolls in refrigerator & allow to defrost over next day or two, & call it the family supper, adding steamed rice, soup, veggie side dishes, etc. The benefit of having family indoor-only pets, is that they usually retrieve those “where did they go?” items [at least the edible ones].
Mary Stephens says
If you had a dog you probably could have eliminated at least one step. All you’d have to do is use a stick/broom handle to pull it out and WHOOSH, it’d be gone. 😉 Cats don’t always work that way. Ours wouldn’t.
My biggest area of struggle in that is dropping small things on the kitchen floor – a peanut, an apple seed, a small piece of cheese. I think, “I’ll sweep later”, but I usually don’t sweep often enough, so it lays there. :-/ The cat will pick up cheese, though, so that ones OK, right?