I’ve seen the meme going around. It’s some version of this statement: I always blamed my messy house on a lack of time. Now I know that was never the reason.
Welcome to my world.
The bewilderment a lot of people feel because their house isn’t any cleaner even though they’re home all the time is what drove me to start this blog back in ’09.
When I started, the blog was anonymous and temporary. I was embarrassed and confused because my house was always a mess no matter what I did. Now it’s 2020, and sharing what I’ve learned about how to bring a home out of Disaster Status and keep it under control is my full-time gig.
I have bad news and good news.
The bad news is that there isn’t a magical solution. Being in your house doesn’t make it clean. Cleaning it makes it clean.
The good news is that there is a real-world solution. I’ve figured it out and boiled it down and shared it over and over again here.
Today I’m sharing the two small tasks that make the biggest difference. If you do these two things every day (or even almost every day), your house will improve.
I promise.
Do your dishes.
I run my dishwasher at night and empty it in the morning (with “morning” being a fluid term these days). And many days, lately, I run my dishwasher twice.
Do your dishes (whether you have a dishwasher or not) every day, at some point during the day, and after a week you’ll figure out the time of day that works best in your home.
Just don’t give up after the first day. If you haven’t been doing your dishes daily, that first day will involve catching up. The time you spend doing dishes on Day One is no indication of how long it will take you to do your dishes on the following days.
Do a Five Minute Pickup.
I really do mean five minutes. And I really do mean a pickup.
I’m not talking about a speed clean. Don’t stick everything in an empty laundry basket to put away later.
Set a timer for five minutes and start picking things up and putting them away.
It really is that simple.
But I completely understand if your brain won’t accept that it’s actually that simple. I’ve written about every objection, every but-what-about and every she-has-no-idea-what-my-house-is-like thought you could think in my books and other blog posts and I’ve talked for more than 100 hours on my podcast. (Not 100+ hours on the subject of five minute pickups, but it has come up a lot.)
Here, though, in this one little blog post, I’ll share the basics.
- Set the timer for five minutes and stop after five minutes. If you keep going, fine. But don’t say you’re going to do five minutes and then feel guilty for stopping after five minutes.
- Five minutes will make an impact. Five minutes every day (or almost every day) will make a big impact after multiple days.
- Do a five minute pickup whenever you think about doing a five minute pickup.
- Start in the most visible areas of your home.
- Remind yourself that it’s worth teaching family members this “skill” even though teaching it isn’t fun at all. Once they get it, the impact multiplies. Example: 5 minutes times four people equals 20 minutes of impact on your home.
- Outlaw pooping during pickup time. According to your unique understanding of your unique family members, make them go before or after. I recommend after because the people who will claim the need to poop tend to be the people who can draw it out with the hope that you’ll forget or go ahead without them.
Is it really this simple to have a beautifully clean home?
Hahahahaha!!! No. Oh, no way.
There’s so much more to do to have a beautifully clean home.
But if you want a beautifully clean home, this is where you start. No home will ever be beautifully clean without doing the dishes.
Every home that’s beautifully clean has people living in it who put things away.
And even though there’s no magical solution, there is magic that happens when you do these two things.
Your house will look so much better. JUST from these two tasks. I mean it. I wouldn’t have believed it either, but I experienced it. I’d lived 35 years of my life thinking the answer to my messy house was a week with nothing else to do so I could clean it perfectly and then start maintaining.
That never worked.
Only when I started doing small things every day did I start to see real change in my home. I was surprised, too, so don’t feel bad if you’re skeptical.
Need more words to help this make sense?
I’m sharing some links to places where I go into this and answer every single one of your but-what-abouts on this subject. I was/am the Queen of Excuses so I’ve had (and had to bust through) every single one.
If you want the full guide instead of posts here and there, you need my book: How to Manage Your Home Without Losing Your Mind. This site is my Slob Lab where I’ve experimented and worked things out and you’ll see that in the posts here. The book is where I teach you how to apply the process to your home. In the book, there’s a 28 day plan that talks you through building four basic habits that will transform your home.
Five Truths about a Clean Kitchen (That Are Still True Even if You Don’t Have a Dishwasher)
The Layers of a Clean House (this concept is key for understanding why these things HAVE to be done daily for you to ever get the house truly clean)
Help for the Person Who (Supposedly) Can’t Be Helped
Family Pick-Up Time (Or The Benefits of Random Intentionality)
244: The Basics – Getting Started or Getting Back Podcast
Find out what in the world this site is and how to use it here.
1. When I read the title of the blog post, I knew these were going to be the two tasks! They’re the two I naturally prioritize in my own home.
2. Outlawing pooping during 5-minute pickup! I laughed so hard and then read it outloud to my husband because it’s so true.
We have a dishwasher, but I also put a lot of things we reuse frequently in a drying rack. I hate seeing that drying rack waiting for me in the morning and often leave it, adding more wet dishes. This post is making me think about options.
1. Just do it, as the saying goes. Empty the rack right away every day. Maybe do’t let myself eat until I do.
2. Dry the dishes the night before and put them away.
3. Eat early enough that (almost) everything dries naturally before bedtime and put it all away then.
Thanks for the thought starter!
Outlaw pooping! HAHAHAHAHAHA! I love this because it.is.so.true. Husband, I’m looking at you! Just yesterday while I was working in my office and my husband was managing the kids, I heard one of the kids knock on the bathroom door (which is unfortunately next to my office) and yell “Dad you’re in the bathroom again! You cannot possibly need to be in the bathroom again already!”
We call it “dishwater diarrh…” yeah, ahem, at our house. So glad its not just my kids!
🚫💩🤣 Truth.
Dana, I just wanted to thank you for the difference you’ve made in my life! I found your podcast a few months ago, and I’m now listening to your book. What you’re saying really has worked for me. I didn’t believe it could, but seeing is believing! I am so thankful that I was able to escape disaster status before I was quarantined at home! I would really have gone nuts!! Thank you!!!!
I love this! So true about just getting those dishes done and a quick pick up!
As for the pooping rule, hilarious! I thought it was just my dad who did that when it was time to leave for the amusement park!
One of my daughter’s had mystery ailments that suddenly came on as soon as she was supposed to do a chore. Sudden knee pain, foot pain, neck pain, elbow pain. I would just look at her with the “Come on! I know what you’re doing!” look and she would somehow get through the chore without needing to go to the emergency room. She’s 32 now and swears those were real pains she was feeling! But she laughs because she has kids that try to get out of chores now.
I had an epiphany when I tried to implement the dishes! I always run our dishwasher at night, and it was my eldest daughter’s chore to unload. My teenage daughter. Here’s how that scenario went. I get up at 5 am, I come downstairs to a sink full of dishes and crumbs on the stove. Argh. I wait and wait, because it’s her one chore and by God she’s going to do it! Meanwhile I eat and my dishes get added to the ones in the sink. My other daughter and husband get up and they eat. More dishes. The sink is full by the time eldest daughter gets up. Since I’ve been up for five hours now, I say “Please unload the dishwasher,” to which she responds “I JUST GOT UP!”
My epiphany was that I needed to switch up chores. I reassigned her to loading and running the dishwasher before she goes to bed as well as wiping down the stove. Even though unloading was my least favorite thing (it was my chore as a kid) I have found that I actually am enjoying it! I put things back where they are supposed to go, not on the stove for me to “put away later,” as she did. I put the plastic containers nested together with like ones, not open-door-toss-in as she did so that there is an avalanche when I open the door later. It’s a joy when I open that door now!
This all means that now when I get up in the morning, the sink is empty, the stove is clean, and I am serene. And I am not responsible for remembering to run the dishwasher (which I often didn’t)!
My aunt taught me something AMAZING when I was 18 and it really appeals to the slob in me and I swear it’s true… stuff dries in the cupboard too. I mean, I wouldn’t put something sopping wet in the base of a wood cabinet. But the colander which stands in the skillet anyway? It will totally dry in the cupboard. Honestly, try it, it works.
The above was in reply to Caryn by the way.
And I loved the pooping comment too! I’ve definitely used that one to get out of supervising bath time, ha ha.
Outlaw pooping! That made my day!!!
Hi Dana,
Your story was made for me! I’m exactly the same as you or at least how you were. I seriously was considering putting myself on ADD medicine because I just don’t have an organized brain. I’ve listened to your 1st six post casts & im hooked!!! However, I am having a baby in 5 mos. & I really want to get my house in order before the arrival of my baby so what is the fasted way I can change myself, I’m guessing not by listening to your million pod casts? Possibly buying your books? Please let me know!
My slob story:
-I don’t take pictures of my child because there’s always a mess in the background
-none of my family is messy like me
-everything is a mess! My car, house, & classroom! I seriously need help!
-I too have seeked help for it & I get overwhelmed.
-never considered myself a slob until I heard your pod cast.
-I crisis clean 🧽
-I want to change for so many reasons! I want a house that ppl can come by unexpectedly & I’m not embarrassed. I don’t want my kids to think this is normal or ok. I don’t want my kids to have my bad cleaning habits. I want to make myself & my hubs proud. I want to chime in with the other wives, “Yeah, my hubby never hits the hamper too” but in reality IM the one who doesn’t hit the hamper.
Dana V
“Put it where it goes”. Everything I have learned from you comes down to this. It’s my mantra now. I rarely ask the decluttering questions as given because “put it where it goes” includes the garbage and the donation box. The lockdowns and pandemic reality have slowed the major decluttering but my dishes are done more often and I am “putting things where they go”. You have done more for me in 1 year than Flylady did in 20. Thank you.
I hear you. I’ve read books and try to follow routines prior to this, including FlyLady… and the biggest things I got from her (but to be clear I didn’t dive too deep into her advice although it is REALLY good, just different people respond to differing ways) were to ‘get dressed to shoes’ in the morning first thing, and to get the dishes out of the sink, and the sink clean *and* dry. The two things have stuck with me, even though I don’t always do them every day… when I do do them, I think of her. Good luck with your continuing journey!!!
“Outlaw pooping during pickup time.” LOL
Growing up we called it “dishwashers diarrhea” because somebody in my family always had to “go” when it was time to clean up after dinner.
I’ve been so good about doing the dishes every day but haven’t really implemented the 5-minute pickup. Going to incorporate that now!
I LOVE reading your posts – you have been such an inspiration to me!!!
One thing about your website, can you have the video to have a ‘close’ option please?!? When I read this on my phone the video travels down the page and totally BLOCKS the page making it most difficult to keep reading.
I need your post, it’s full of encouragement as well as learning helps but that video box definitely destroys that help.
Thank you!!!
A light bulb moment when you said that cleaning perfectly and then maintaining doesn’t work. I realized that it’s the same as diets don’t work. Yes, you can clean/lose weight but maintaining? Not so much.
What does work is cleaning/losing weight by starting new habits and then maintaining those habits for a lifetime. There is no end date.
I’ve read both of your books, but now that I’m building habits for weight loss, and I saw this connection just now, I’m going to apply the same thinking to the 5 minute pick up. Dishes are finally being done most days, time to build a new habit.
I loved the article, thanks for your insights! No pooping during the five minutes is hysterical 😂 If you can’t hold for five minutes, it might be time to take a look at your diet, right! 😂💩
It is amazing how these things can pile up. I do hoarding and squalor cleans so I see the very far end of the spectrum. There is usually a lot more than just being time poor involved in those situations, though.
Thank you for putting your perspective out there and sharing your methods of success. This has been a life-long issue for me and I continuously try to find solutions. You speak my language more than most declutterers I have found. You just gave me permission to run the dish washer when there are not enough dishes to be full. It’s just me and and my husband so we literally don’t have enough on a daily basis to ‘fill’ the dishwasher. But if I don’t run it every day, then that 2nd day or 3rd at the most, it is in dire need. So I need to just do it and get over myself.
My mom used to call it “dishpan diarrhea” 😂