Three weeks ago, we decided to start our summer break for our weekly church home group meetings.
It was a logical decision. People get busy as the school year winds down.
I said something about baseball season and Mother’s Day and such, but inside I was thinking about one wonderful thing.
I wouldn’t have to clean!!!
I can now say, three weeks later . . . that I haven’t.
I’ve been rehearsal-directing and field-day-attending and choir-trip-chaperoning, but I most definitely haven’t been cleaning.
(Other than the times when I couldn’t avoid it.)
I’ve kept up with Laundry Day (mostly) and the dishwasher keeps on running every night, but the house is showing the effects of my attitude.
Blech. So now I feel guilty. Because if I’m honest, my totally-rational reason for not cleaning isn’t that I’m busy (even though I am), but that . . . . it doesn’t really matter.
It doesn’t matter if my house is clean because as far as I know, no one will be ringing my doorbell any time soon.
Meanwhile, we’re starting to trip over things. And lose things.
“We” being the people who live here, who do see the house every single day.
“We” being my kids who wouldn’t be able to invite a friend over at a moment’s notice right now.
I’ve come a long way, but it’s so hard to break myself of the “Woo-hoo! No one’s going to see the house so let me get consumed with doing something that’s NOT cleaning!”
Ugh.
Kari says
I so get this! I keep saying that I want a home when people could come over at any time and I wouldn’t be mortified. Still not there…..
Sam says
A few months ago i started having therapists come over 5 days a week to do some ABA with my son with autism. My house has never been cleaner.
But because of a paperwork problem when he turned 3, his services stopped. I was so excited to not have to worry about my house being shiney everyday and so for the past few weeks…the house has been a disaster. And i’m tired of stepping on things. And we’ve been running out of clean clothes, and the bathroom hasn’t been cleaned like it should be (especially when someone is trying to potty train a little boy!)
His teachers start back up tomorrow and i’ve been in “emergency clean” mode for the past few days and I’ve made a dent but…and we’re having his birthday party this weekend too! and my MIL is the real life version of June Cleaver. I know she wouldn’t ever say anything about the state of my house (she is a really sweet, really awesome person) but I KNOW she notices every little crumb.
One of these days i’m going to figure out how to clean for US. So that i can relax, and not worry about getting a load of laundry done before church so we can all wear non-smelly clothes, and i clean up after dinner so that i don’t have 2 loads to do the next day, etc. etc. But i’m not quite there yet either
Heather says
I do clean for me. Partially because I don’t want to be embarrassed when people come over, but mostly because I CANNOT. STAND. the mess myself. I can’t cook in a cluttered, dirty kitchen. I hate being surrounded by half-done projects and Things In The Way when I’m eating at the dining room table or trying to relax with a game of cards at the end of the day. It isn’t just the guilt, which is there but fleeting, it’s just the mental noise that comes with trying to get something on my to-do list or wondering if the thing I want to wear is clean or whether the germs and allergens are breeding while my back is turned.
I have issues like National Geographic. LOL.
Traci says
My husband is a much better housekeeper than I am. Things bother him WAY before they bother me. Dig me out a little niche for each person, I’m good. He’s sees the mess and I “know” it’s there, but it really doesn’t bother me. I was all set to get laundry done today, but something is wrong with the dryer and he needs to look at it, so laundry didn’t get done. I did cut grass today. Give me the outside stuff and I’ll get that done. He can take care of the house. Love to cook – hate to clean.
Amie says
It even matters when you have teething baby who won’t nap by himself. Oh, I just want to have some free minutes to clean, or I want the rest off the family to do so. So discouraged by the constant mess.
missy says
Years ago someone told me, you clean for your family – you tidy up for company. Changed me forever – because really, doesn’t your family deserve better than company?
SCalt says
May I ask why you have a “laundry day”? My wife and I have three kids – and she does one load before leaving for work, I do a load when I get home, and we do a third load during/after supper. This keeps us pretty well caught up (assuming one load for towels, one load for colors, one load for whites) each day. Once in a while, we may have an extra load (for sheets, etc.) – and our two oldest either fold or hang up clothes. Takes 5 minutes per load to put in washer and then, 10 minutes per load to sort/fold/put away. Our kids place their clothes in laundry room after baths at night and are responsible for putting away their clothes, in closets and dressers. If we waited until one day a week, it would be overwhelming.
Nony says
https://www.aslobcomesclean.com/2012/12/my-laundry-metamorphosis/
Slob with OCD says
Nony, I am so feeling you.
I struggle with this a lot. I want more and more to have a house that I feel good in, and that my family feels good in, but when it’s messy I don’t feel like I have the energy to clean it. It’s such a vicious cycle. I’ve spent 4 weeks with a cabinet door that doesn’t work and made 4 trips to the hardware store, I had the part the whole time!
It’s so hard to remember that putting in the time saves you more time in the end.
Pat says
ugh!
Never. It always matters. In the back of my mind it nags me…the whole clean for you, clean for your family…clean because it makes life easier, clean because company is coming…and clean because company MIGHT pop in… I can never get past it. Yet… I’m not there yet.
I used to be! But not anymore—I have NO. IDEA. WHAT. HAPPENED.
In fact, I’d be mortified if someone showed up at my door right now…
MORT.I.FIED I TELL YOU!!!
Pat
Mary S says
I totally agree with you and Pat. My house is so bad that I meet people on the porch and keep them there because I’m so ashamed of the way my house looks. I hate it looking like it does but have to rest after about every 15 minutes of work. My 2 teenagers and husband won’t help at all and with a dog(who is into everything and acts like a toddler) and 3 cats in the house it seems hopeless.I am making progress but it’s so slow.You have my sympathy because I know what you are going through.
Kelly says
I was recently trying to answer the question of why I want a clean home and my first thought was to have it clean for guests… well, the guests I won’t let us have because our home is a mess. I need to want a clean home for my family. My husband and kids are the ones that live here with me and would truly benefit from a clean home. I guess it seems somehow so mundane and hard to keep the house clean all the time and my slob brain takes over and it’s only when I think about how a guest would see my home that I truly see the clutter my family is living with.
Amy says
You just need an unexpected house call from someone you admire/respect to burst your bubble! I’ve been there!
jane says
As for this single person, I got ill several years ago and cleaning /decluttering wasn’t high priority – getting well was. Add a touch of ADD & OCD sprinkled w/perfectionism, and the house and I have come undone. Rarely have company over (can’t) but when I do, it’s a mad dash to throw things in closets. Sounds like all of you have family to be motivated to clean for, but what about semi-isolated 40+ single? Think I need to pay someone to get me started because now I am overwhelmed. It’s not Hoarders level yet but…. 🙂
Nony says
That would absolutely make it harder to be motivated. Most of what I do notice comes from “Oh my word, that’s what my kids think is normal because I’ve left it that way.”
Bethany says
I love your excuse posts. There are so many ways for me to phrase “I don’t want to” , and you’ve identified several them with your blog! I can’t hide behind my excuses when I see them for what they really are.
Hazel says
you may have forgotten this, but once upon a time (not so long ago, for me, but 4 – 5 years ago for you?!) you said that saying that you only need to clean if someone’s going to see, you then questioned why your family don’t class as “someone”. Well, I’m 5 years behind you but that insight really does ring true. Our families and ourselves are important, we should all try and ensure it’s as nice for them as for guests. (And yes, I’m most definitely a slob, one that’s trying to change, but still definitely a slob.)
Lindsey E. says
But Nony, you and your family deserve a clean house. It’s not about the guests. Wouldn’t you clean just so you, your husband, and your kids had a clean place to live? I don’t understand the cleaning being about visitors. YOU the family are who matters most in that house. The cleaning should be for you.
Natasha says
I can’t put myself out there like you do, but I am so, so thankful for you.
Dorothy Marlene Fuurtado says
“When does it not matter?” If we have followed your excellent suggestions, we’ll be just fine. Each of us have come a long way and have made great improvements. Instead of worrying over what might happen if we take a break or go on vacation, we have come a long way and have made great progress. Instead of worrying, we should celebrate the progress we have made. Should have taken photos of my place before I began following your guidance. That was was past history This is now! Yahoo!