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Don’t Judge a New Habit by Its First Day

May 14, 2013 By Dana White | 21 Comments

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Don't judge a habit on its first day

I love getting emails from people who are excited about giving Laundry Day a shot.

But then I get nervous. 

Because even though a weekly Laundry Day has improved our home by leaps and bounds and is perfect for my needs-to-see-an-end-to-the-task personality type, that first one . . . is brutal.

And overwhelming.

And it doesn’t give you any idea of what Laundry Day really is.

That first day, you’re washing outgrown clothes that never made it into the rotation when you were only doing Survival Loads.  If wedding guests over-gifted you with bath towels, there’s a chance you’ll need to do six or seven loads of towels.

A chance.

When the next Monday rolls around, and you feel like you JUST finished Laundry Day (since maybe you did), it’s easy to rationalize not doing it again.  I mean, it’s not like you have as many clothes as last time . . .

Which is the point.

It’s the second Laundry Day that will give you hope. That hope comes when you see how much ONE week of laundry really is.  And how much less time it takes to do ONE week’s worth of laundry.

It’s the same with doing the dishes.  If you’ve read 28 Days to Hope for Your Home, the day-by-day plan in How to Manage Your Home Without Losing Your Mind, you know that the biggest thing in the plan is getting into the habit of doing the dishes every day.

But the very first day isn’t a reflection AT ALL of what the habit is going to feel like.

The first day is a make-up day. You’re making up for all the habit-free days.

It’s not until the second day of the habit that you actually get to see what it’s going to feel like.  Then you’ll see what one day’s worth of dishes actually is in your house.

You can guess and you can assume, but in my personal experience . . . my guesses and assumptions were/are always wrong.

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Filed Under: figuring myself out | 21 Comments

Comments

  1. [email protected] says

    May 14, 2013 at 10:58 am

    Oh, that is SO true! Don’t judge a habit by its first day. I am SO bad about that. I decide to do something and then it doesn’t go the way I thought it would so I abandon it. Bad. Bad. Bad. It takes time to see if something is going to work or not (most of the time).

    Great post and I agree wholeheartedly.

    Reply
  2. Joan says

    May 14, 2013 at 1:24 pm

    Great post. But, I totally thought you were going to go the other way with it! Saying something like, ‘just because you did 1 great change today, it’s not a habit yet. You have to do it every day/week/time etc for it to actually become a habit’!
    Sorry, your actual version was much more encouraging.

    Reply
    • Nony says

      May 14, 2013 at 1:34 pm

      Your assumption made me laugh, partly because I can SO see how you made it! A great example of how our own experiences color how we hear things.

      Reply
  3. [email protected] says

    May 14, 2013 at 2:20 pm

    Joining the ranks of those who have read your blog from the beginning and am now caught up. I stopped mid-sweep to just let you know that your guidance has shown me that every little bit helps and that organizing isn’t really my problem… I’m actually good at that! Decluttering is the light bulb that went on over my head. Thank you for teaching me. I look forward to reading your blog:)

    Reply
  4. Lauren says

    May 14, 2013 at 3:14 pm

    Such a true post! Laundry has never been a super-big problem for me (don’t worry–I have PLENTY of other areas I’m working to improve!), but while I was reading an idea occurred to me that might help someone. Maybe for the first Laundry Day, the novice could take all her laundry to the laundromat. That way many loads could be done all at the same time. Maybe that would make it go a little faster and the encouraging, good-feeling part would come sooner. Thanks for sharing, Nony!

    Reply
    • Janice says

      January 5, 2015 at 9:16 pm

      If you really have six loads of towels and it takes you multiple days I think it would be worth going to the laundry Matt. When my mom got behind and had to get caught up quickly she would always do that. I downsized before I made the habit. I have one or two days worth of dishes I don’t always do them right away but if I don’t I have less mess to deal with.

      Reply
  5. Cheryl says

    May 14, 2013 at 7:01 pm

    thank you for this gentle reminder. I can be my worst critic and if day one fails, I fail.
    thank you!!!

    Reply
  6. Amanda says

    May 14, 2013 at 8:18 pm

    This is so true! In the same way, don’t toss a perfectly good habit just b/c of one bad day. The kitchen sink backed up last night, so I didn’t finish washing the dishes. It’s not ideal. But it’s okay. The problem is fixed and I’ll finish the dishes today. When I was a new homemaker, I would throw out any cleaning system that was not perfect. Now I know, life isn’t perfect. 🙂

    Reply
  7. Annie says

    May 15, 2013 at 8:57 am

    Great words of encouragement! I love this and it’s true in every area, not just house-keeping habits! Thanks!

    Reply
  8. Chelsey says

    May 15, 2013 at 2:15 pm

    I read your blog and was skeptical of a once a week laundry day. But, after reading the whole post I realized that it was a really good thing for me. I can do one day. It is the day I plan on staying home and getting it done. This Monday was my first laundry day… and Tuesday, cough, cough, cough, and Wednesday. I hate laundry and it hates me. But, I just read this post and you captured my thoughts entirely. I just had to remind myself it was make up day. All my laundry was washed and folded on Tuesdays, but here it is Wednesday and the couch is covered in clothes that need to be put away and hung up. But, i just keep moving forward. When I get discouraged I read your blogs. Thanks for giving this slob a hope of changing so that I too can start having people over without them thinking, “Is she a hoarder?” “Do they really live like this?” It is a journey and there is always up and downs, but we just continue on. Thanks for being such a great role model!!!

    Reply
  9. Slob with OCD says

    May 15, 2013 at 11:37 pm

    Hey Nony,

    This is so timely for me!! We’ve had tons of chaos from minor renovation work, and I so want to throw up my hands because there’s no way right now things will actually look good. So it seems pretty pointless to do those dishes (and I do skip them some times) but when I do do it, even though all it accomplishes is getting the dishes done, I still think how much easier it is mentally to do the dishes, and that at least when things are done being torn up I know I can get it back to where it should be. I know I know how now. Habits are far from natural to me, but now I know to have one, know that it’s worth aspiring to.

    THANKS!!!

    Reply
  10. Lothelena says

    May 23, 2013 at 7:29 am

    I got on top of laundry when I looked up how much of each type of clothing the state of NY is willing to pay foster parents for and pared down my kids clothes to that (with minor adjustments). About two weeks ago I started using the laundry to help me anchor some other new habits. I put a load in overnight on a timer, then get up and hang the laundry, and put a second load in. I read my bible (a habit I have woefully struggled with for YEARS), since I’m following a really ambitious reading schedule (for the first time ever) it takes about 50 minutes, same length of time as the fast cycle on my European washer. As soon as I’m done reading I deal with the second load of laundry. Two loads a day like this keeps me on top of laundry, gets me out of bed in the morning, and started on my bible reading. I can’t tell you what a difference it is making to me. Sometimes I don’t even have enough for a second load. I’ve never had a habit last for as many as 2 weeks before. I don’t even remember to eat lunch every day.

    Reply
  11. Brittani A. says

    May 20, 2014 at 10:23 am

    I thought I made Tuesdays laundry days. But for some reason I was doing laundry every single day. So today I said it’s laundry day, grabbed all the towels and threw them in the washer. Why do I still see towels in the hallway on my dirty clothes basket? it really has been that long since I’ve washed towels that I had so many that wouldn’t fit and I couldn’t find them all.

    Reply
  12. Rhonda says

    May 25, 2015 at 6:34 pm

    I love, love, love Laundry Day. And you’re right. The first one is a beast. And I have had a weeks where I’ve fallen behind and it takes more loads to get caught up, but never as bad as that first week! My teenage daughter does her own laundry (still working on teen son!), so I just have do mine and my husbands. It’s typically 4-5 loads. And then I’m done!! That feeling, of knowing I don’t have to do laundry for another week is so freeing.

    Somebody mentioned going to a laundry mat. That is actually a great idea. A friend’s washer was broken for a couple of weeks and she had 3 small children. She took her clothes to a laundry mat and she said it was so much faster. She also went by herself and enjoyed the quiet time. 🙂

    Reply
    • Isabel says

      June 17, 2022 at 1:44 am

      I love quiet time at the laundromat!
      I can’t do laundry day because large family+septic, so my regular laundry is usually caught up, but if people are sick and we have lots of extra sheets or quilts to wash, I just load it all up and get it done in one go.
      Ironically, we are having septic issues and for a few weeks I was doing laundry once a week at the laundromat. I did enjoy the feeling of being “done” till the next trip!

      Reply
  13. Erica says

    May 26, 2015 at 1:10 am

    With a family of 6 & all the laundry that goes with it, this may have been the most, personally, encouraging post ever. Tomorrow will be my first official Monday as “laundry day.” And I’m going in knowing that I’m already behind, but instead of being discouraged, I’m now feeling ok about it. Thanks!

    Reply
    • Dana White says

      May 26, 2015 at 9:11 am

      Yay! You can do this, Erica, but I know that first one will be tough!

      Reply
  14. Rose says

    May 26, 2015 at 2:08 am

    This is very encouraging! I really needed to hear this! I found your blog less than a week ago, and it has changed my life! I’ve never read a blog like yours before, and I’m so needing someone I can actually relate to! Every other cleaning/organizing blog seems to be run by neat freaks with picture perfect homes all the time (at least that’s what the photos would have you believe.) With tips on dusting and cleaning under your appliances. O_o (I am not sure I have ever dusted my house except when moving out, and its amazing if the tops of my appliances are all clean!)
    Thank you, thank you for being so real and honest. I am feeling hope after reading and watching your videos!

    Reply
    • Dana White says

      May 26, 2015 at 8:41 am

      Thank you so much for this comment, Rose! And welcome!!

      Reply
  15. melinda says

    January 17, 2016 at 11:34 pm

    Since I have to go to a friend’s house, I’ve fallen into Laundry DAy accidentally.
    Yes, that’s a great felling to get it all washed and dried in one day! My downfall is, I get it home, and it sits in the clean hamper. Forever. till it’s worn, and back in the dirty hamper again. sigh

    Reply
  16. Jaime says

    May 7, 2016 at 6:08 pm

    I don’t have enough clothes to go longer than a week. So I’m always caught up on laundry out of necessity!

    Reply

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A Slob Comes Clean is the completely honest (and never-ending) story of my deslobification process. As I find ways to keep my home under control, I share the truth about cleaning and organization methods that actually work for a real-life slob. And I'm funny.

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