Last Monday, Hubby was sick. Sick enough to be home, but not flat-on-his-back-in-bed sick.
I spent the day up at the church working on things for the Christmas show.
When I finally came home . . . I saw that the laundry was done.
Like . . . all the way.
Every single pile.
Photo Credit: Tyne & Wear Archives & Museums
Laundry Day had happened, even though I wasn’t home to make it happen.
It’s not that Hubby suddenly learned to do laundry. He was quite good at it when we got married. But for all his years as a bachelor, he only ever had to do a load here and there since he had his work clothes dry cleaned.
So when he married the World’s Most Random and Haphazard Housekeeper, his attempts at helping (by doing a load of desperately needed undies here and there) barely made a dent in our ever-growing and over-clothed family’s laundry pile.
It never would have occurred to either one of us to spend a sick day doing all the laundry in the house.
But, I am happy to say that the existence of Laundry Day has changed that. He knows that if clothes are going to be washed, they’ll be washed on Monday.
He helps sort (and sometimes gets the sorting started) on Sunday evenings.
He was always willing to help. He even wanted to. But the fact that there was no rhyme or reason to how I did any household task made it almost impossible.
It’s like an escalator. You watch it for a moment and figure out how it works. You see the speed and you know when the next step is coming so you can hop on.
But if the escalator went really slow, then crazy-fast . . . then stopped completely for who-knows-how-long only to start up again with a jerk . . . you’d be less likely to step right on.
Do you see what I mean? By me having routines, he can jump in on those routines.
When there were only Random Acts of Cleaning in this house, it kind of felt like there was no point to try to contribute.
Make sense?
I never thought about it, but it totally makes sense. My hubby doesn’t randomly clean on his own, but if he sees me get started, he finds something to do. Now if I could just get on a schedule!
Love love love the elevator analogy! It’s so true! How would our family ever know how or when to help out. This is kind of a lightbulb moment for me. 🙂
What a terrific word picture! You do have a way of saying things so that my brain take it all in. Thank you. And what a great guy you have there!
my mind= BLOWN!
you= AMAZING!
Seriously, just had a conversation a few nights ago with my husband. I was having a bad night and was complaining that everyone took me for granted and nothing gets done if “I” don’t do it, blah, blah, blah. My husband explained that he doesn’t know what kind of plan I have for things or when I’m going to get something done and he can’t just jump in and start doing something without knowing what I want him to do.
YOU’VE JUST PROVED HIS POINT AND MADE ME UNDERSTAND WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously shed a tear over here…….another “DUH” moment for this slob brain!
Wow, that is what my husband is like too. However, I now have a system that is working (mainly Flylady). He is still helping to the same degree he did before though. It is just me who “upped my game”. The difference is, our house was a disaster all the time before. Now, it is such that it is good enough for random people to come and I don’t have to feel deeply ashamed. Even though my husband will do his thing (help out with kitchen cleanup and do his laundry), and I AM at home with the kids, it still feels like I have all the responsibility and he is just an “assistant”. Probably because that is true, lol.
Yay! It’s all about you finding a system that works for you and then he can jump in on that whatever it may be!
Four months ago, I finally conquered my laundry monster. With 3 kids and a husband, my bathroom had huge laundry “mountains”. Finally, I read something that worked for me, after failing on many other attempts at a system. We have five people, so I give each person their “laundry day”. Then on the weekends, I do sheets and towels, and possible catch up. This way, I am still doing 1 to 2 loads a day as I did before, but magically, my laundry is all caught up. It is really weird. I am not spending all the time sorting before and after each load. Everyone has their own coloured laundry basket. The kids have a colourful flexible “bucket” that I found in the gardening department of the store. At first, I did it all myself, but now the kids and husband are taking more part in it. (My husband does his own, but is still not completely putting away). The kids are starting to put away.
whoa…what a great husband you have. I;’d be afraid my hubby would shrink all my clothes.
Thanks for that analogy. It makes sense now. The problem? I’m so anti-schedule. Everytime I take the time to make a plan, something comes up where I have to change everything. Its so frustrating.
I just sent this blog to my husband. He agrees. Yikes. I need to stop complaining about lack of help, and find a way for it to make sense for him to help! Thank you.
I so love getting your posts through my inbox. I have never felt so unalone before. I thought I was the worlds most hap hazard chaotic housewife. I forever moan that he never helps me. You give me hope!
Oh thank you so much, Mel!
This is my house exactly! I am the most haphazard keeper of the house.
I love the escalator analogy!
AWESOME!!!! I just asked you about your husband’s role. :O) It totally makes sense when you mention the erratic escalator. I have NEVER known my husband to do a load of laundry. Ever. Until we got married (he was 39.5) he dropped his clothes off once a week for “wash, dry, fold” service, until the laundromat stopped offering the service. I miss that place …..
I love this post! It makes so much sense!
Lightbulb moment for me too!
I wonder if this is how my hubby feels……