WHAT is my problem? I really irritate myself sometimes.
I’ve been noticing some cobwebs by the ceiling in my hallway for probably a month now. A MONTH! Today I decided to do something about it. So I opened up the coat closet that I could reach without taking EVEN ONE STEP, and I grabbed the long-pole-duster-thingy, WHICH WAS RIGHT THERE IN THAT CLOSET, and I knocked them down. All in about two seconds or less.
Grrr. This is my problem. I just don’t do it. I think it’s some big deal when it isn’t, at all.
I also moved the huge mass of cleaning supplies (I’m a couponer, remember) out of the middle of my bathroom floor back under the kitchen sink. I had moved them when we discovered a leak, and I hadn’t been counting them as bathroom clutter since I couldn’t think of another place to put them and they were only “temporary.” Well, we’re thinking the leak is something to do with rain, because there hasn’t been a drop since we found it, which was right after a huge storm. How it leaks under the kitchen sink when it rains, I have no idea, but it’s supposed to storm again tomorrow, so hopefully we’ll solve the mystery. But as far as the cleaning stuff goes, I was just letting myself have another lame excuse. They obviously survived through the last leak, so they’ll make it if they get a little wet again. Meanwhile, my bathroom was looking yucky instead of nice, like I’d been getting used to. Moving the already bagged up supplies took . . . two seconds.
I have issues with finishing tasks. I often leave about two seconds worth of work left to be done. And I leave it indefinitely. I heard Dr. Phil say years ago that this is because of a fear of criticism. If I leave one detail undone, you can’t really criticize how I did the job, because I’m not actually finished yet. I think this probably does apply to me, and has to do with me criticizing myself. Flylady talks about how slobs are often perfectionists who don’t want to do something unless they have the time to do it perfectly. As bizarre as that sounds to the perfectionist who actually keeps her home clean, it really is true.
Through this blog, I’m trying to at least do the basics every day. Even if I don’t do them perfectly, or if I miss one here and there, my house is a livable home because I’ve done something. If I take two seconds here and there, how great would my home look?
I do this do!! Start things and leave a little bit to finish and sometimes never do or at least not for a long while. Like I remodeled the bathroom, even had my Grandpa gut it. New floor, sink, mirrow, lighting and all. I then got all the walls painted, put up new shower curtain and still have yet to put the door back on one teeny cabinet. It has been months upon months since the bathroom has been finished. Uggh
I also do this same thing when I do everyday cleaning.
i think there is something to dr. phil’s statement. being an analytical and somewhat ocd slob, i have thought about this. a LOT! i’m not sure i’ve EVER really completed a project. not truly completed.
Still reading through backwards 🙂 This one SO applies to me. My Dad always used to tell me, If you can’t do it right, don’t do it at all. And it stuck. I miss him a lot, but I no longer listen to that piece of advice –or at least I try not to. It wasn’t until this year that I finally “got” that I can’t let that hold me back from doing what needs to be done. It’s taken me till this week to put that knowledge into practice. My house isn’t perfect. Far from it. But my kitchen is looking better and better each day. My bed is made each day. There is progress and there is hope. 🙂
I know this is old, but I just started following a couple days ago. My dad used to say the exact same thing. It has always kept me from doing things unless I had time to do it all. My husband is the other way. He does something he calls “incrementalism”. It used to drive me nuts when we first got married. I have just now started to see his way of thinking. It has taken me having two kids to realize that I will never have time to do it all at once again. My house was getting really crazy and I kept begging my husband to take the kids so I could clean. This is really unrealistic. I can’t clean only when my husband has the kids. It will never get done. I have started tp try to do what I can when I can and it is getting much better! I have been able to see the floor in my hallway for two whole weeks!
you have no idea how close to home this blog was for me! i rarely finish projects that you can see. i have very critical family members and i have a hidden perfectionist in me and i am ocd. i do not like involving myself in projects i know i can’t finish..such as the painting job i have started in my kitchen/den combo. i’ve done one coat, being i am covering dark wood paneling, the primer and one coat isn’t enough and i’ve only primed the trim and windows. i have kids and other obligations and for me to start a project when that mood hits me and be interrupted is like yanking hunks of hair out of my head…once i stop or get distracted, getting myself back into that project becomes difficult and in order for it to be done to my desired level of satisfaction..i need to be in the right frame of mind to put my heart into it…thank goodness ..thank goodness there is actually others out in this world like me. i am adhd, and obsessive complusive…
Oh wow, Dottie…I think you just NAILED my problem! Only what I heard was more along the lines of, if you’re going to do it, do it right. Same thing, different phrasing. Time to let that piece of advice go.
This so a applies to me! Thanks!
Nice to know you CAN be a slob and a perfectionist. Who also leaves things MOSTLY finished, rather than deal with failure.
Also I have a loving, but perfectionist mother who happens to have a “normal,” clean and neat house. Somewhere along the way my sister and I watched her and decided that no, thank you, we did NOT want to be tightly wound perfectionists with spotless homes.
The trouble with that is that we still turned into tightly wound perfectionists – with messy homes. Maybe it’s time to rebel again, and learn to let go of the perfectionism, but without looking like a hoarder in training. 🙂
Happy Easter!
wow. this hit so close to home, i nearly cried. but then again, dr phil has that effect on me…
Yep, I’m an ocd perfectionist…. slob. Thanks for writing this blog, I’m gonna try one new thing a week. I can’t live like this anymore.
Still catching up on the blog from the beginning, but I had to comment on this one. I agree with everyone’s comments. I am a perfectionist. Being this way not only keeps me from finishing things, but often keeps me from even starting them – whether it’s cleaning, organizing, or even exercise & hobbies. It can be paralyzing at times. I’m trying to change that, & this blog is helping a lot. Thank you, Dana, and thank you “tribe”. 🙂
That’s my case 🙁
I struggle with perfectionism. A therapist once told me:
“If something is worth doing, then it’s worth doing poorly.”
I try to remind myself of this as often as I can so that I will actually DO something. Because whatever it is, it’s worth doing poorly (rather than not at all).
Again, like the other commenters said, this post is SO me!! I have always been such a perfectionist. Have never really learned to let go since having kiddos. I very much struggle with the “If I can’t do it perfectly, why do it at all?” Thank you so much for writing this blog! Enjoying it from the beginning going backwards!
Hi Nonie/Dana–What you wrote about slobs actually being perfectionists really rings true with me. I learned how to clean when I was in the Navy. Being under pressure to pass inspections really brought out the paranoid perfectionist in me. As a result, in my private life, all I knew how to do was, as I like to call it, “cleaning down to the sub-atomic particle level.” I would get so upset if, for instance, after sweeping a dust bunny rolled out from somewhere. I would actually get out the broom and sweep it up! I also had to have everything clean at the same time–sweeping, vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom, etc.–all done in one massive effort. No wonder I only cleaned every couple months! Now that I’ve established a weekly routine, if I sweep and then see a dust bunny, I say to myself, oh well, I’m sweeping again on Thursday so no big deal. Even if I miss on Thursday, if I think about it it’s in fun speculating how big the pile of sweepings will be on Monday. Your blog is great at helping me come up with routines that work for me.
Yes, overcoming the fear of trying to do something is a big one for me too.