I am so honored that the woman who sent me this email allowed me to share it with you. Her story is incredibly inspiring and I know it will encourage so many of you as you work toward “less” and “better” in your own homes.
Ms. White,I have never reached out to an author before. However, I feel the need to thank you for your no-mess decluttering method and your book, Decluttering at the Speed of Life. It has helped me in ways I never thought imaginable.Two years ago today my husband and love of my life became critically ill and wound up in hospital. He suffered multiple strokes while there and I knew that when he was finally able to come home, I would have to face the reality of our home and do a massive declutter so he could do so safely. We were both collectors and rooms were full to overflowing, to the point where an inflatable boat was in the middle of our living room. There was a path through my art supplies leading to the bed in the guest room.As I sat beside my husband for many long days, I began looking at how to go about decluttering my home and found your book, Decluttering at the Speed of Life. I bought it and read it through. I won’t say I was an instant convert. I mean, the idea of doing the dishes as a way to tackle all the stuff filling my house seemed unhelpful. However, nothing else had worked for us for our 34 years together. So, I arrived home from the hospital late one night and looked at the sink overflowing with dishes and said, well, what have I got to lose. At the very least, I will be able to feed the cats without having to balance their bowls on the stovetop, the only clear space in the kitchen. So, I did the dishes. When I woke up to go to the hospital the next morning I walked into my kitchen to make my morning coffee, saw the empty sink and mostly clear counters and felt I had actually accomplished something last night. That night I returned home and before going to bed I washed and put away the bowl I ate my ramen out of (spending all day at the hospital made me revert to the eating habits of a college student) and my coffee mug. I didn’t want to, I only wanted sleep, but I did the dishes and felt a sense of satisfaction and more, a sense of control when I’d lost all control of everything else in my life.Realizing, reluctantly, that doing the dishes worked, I charged forward (well, I would get home at 9 or 10 pm and there was no energy left for charging) with the remainder of your book. I began adding the 5 minute pick up to my night routine and while slow, it too showed results. Then, for 2 or 3 hours each night before I went to bed, I began decluttering our home focusing on the areas my husband would need access to first upon his return home. To my surprise, I made progress. A lot of progress.I continued decluttering using your no-mess decluttering method as he transitioned from the hospital to rehab and we had a date set for his return home. I decluttered the first floor of my home so he would be able to move around with a walker easily, and cleared the boat out of the living room so it could hold a hospital bed and all the necessary furniture to convert it to a bedroom for him until he would be able to tackle the stairs to the second floor. I filled the garage with trash bags to go to the dump and boxes to be donated. (I didn’t have time to take them anywhere but they were out of the house.)I won’t go into details but my husband wound up back in hospital, days before he was due to come home from rehab. A week later, on Independence Day, he called me just as I was leaving to see him and told me he was done and just wanted to come home. It broke my heart, but I was able to make the arrangements for him to return home and get care through hospice. I was able to quickly make the arrangements for him to return home largely because your no-mess decluttering method worked. I had room for him to have a hospital bed in the living room and was not embarrassed to have the hospice nurses and aids come into my home (provided they stayed on the first floor).As I made the arrangements for my husband to return home, we talked about our lives together, his final wishes, and his worries for my future. We knew I would not be able to afford to stay in our home of 34 years alone. In those hours of making promises to him that I would be alright and I was strong enough to face my future without him, I promised I would sell our home and move to a more affordable location.I was able to get him home and am so grateful for that. I am not sure I could have done it without having started decluttering using your book. He was only home for less than 24 hours before I lost him, but he was so happy to be home. I am forever grateful for those 24 hours. I am not sure I could have done this without your book and no-mess decluttering process.Fast forward to today. I am typing this email in a tiny hotel room with my 2 cats in a long-term stay hotel as I search for my new home in another state. In the days, weeks, and months, since my husband passed away, I decluttered our home, packed up the remaining contents, sold our home, and drove over 1,000 miles to start the next chapter of my life.Through it all, I relied on your no-mess decluttering method. When all else failed, I fell back on the knowledge that “less” and “better” were more than acceptable results and I didn’t need “perfect.” I gathered more bags of trash than I care to count. The gentlemen at the dump recognized my car, I was there so often. I had Big Brother/Big Sister and Vietnam Veterans coming on weekly rotation to pick up boxes of donations (they each had a 20 box limit).I started with my stuff as you suggested in your book (different because I wasn’t facing resistance to decluttering from my husband). This let me focus on things that were not emotionally charged and I could easily say that I didn’t need to keep the pine needle basket kit I’d had for 20 years but never started. This helped me build momentum so that when I was mostly done decluttering the items in our home that were solely mine, I could move on to joint items. When I finally reached the items that were my husband’s alone, I was stronger both due to passage of time, and experience with your no-mess decluttering method so I was better able to declutter those items. There were gallons of tears and many delayed decisions, but I achieved “less and “better.” I barely managed to stop myself from driving back to the thrift shop where I donated a 1970s brown leather trench coat, that he had refused to let me donate in the past, and buying it back.As I struggled to let things go and often battled with the temptation to try to sell them rather than donate, I remembered your book discussing the sale of items as you decluttered and decided that much of it was not worth the time and effort it took to sell. I sold the “big stuff,” his vintage car, his motorcycles (yes, plural, he was indeed a collector), and his boats but donated his camping gear (the boy scouts were thrilled with it), his tools, and more.Once I decluttered, I began packing our home. As I packed, I continued to declutter. Did I want to pay to move this old bureau that the drawers were always a fight to open and close? Did I want to have this ugly (to me) red and gold tray gifted to my late parents by an aunt I never got on with in my new home? However, in spite of all these successes, I was less successful in applying the container concept to my packing. The portable storage company told me I would need 3 storage boxes for the contents of my home given its size. Alas, I filled 4.Now, I am looking at moving into my new home, I will be closing on it in just over a week. I know that as the 4 storage containers are delivered and I begin unpacking, I will continue my decluttering. I will rely on the container concept in putting things away and your decluttering questions. I am actually hopeful that as I unpack things I have lived without since November, I will find more trash and duh donations and they will not find space in my new home. I know there will be challenges as I unpack some of my husband’s favorite things and find homes for them where I can see, use, and enjoy them. Those that I do not have room for, I hope will have the strength to let them go to a new home where they will bring joy to someone else. If not, I will give myself the grace to wait because I will have already achieved less and better and that’s good enough until I can face releasing those items.Thank you for taking the time to read my email but most of all, thank you for sharing your knowledge in your books and giving me hope and the skills to start my decluttering process during a particularly awful time in my life. Thank you for helping me fulfill the most important final request of my husband, letting him come home one last time; and for helping me get ready to begin the next chapter in my life. I will have your book, Decluttering at the Speed of Life, handy as I begin unpacking the storage boxes (including the one I never should have filled but did).Thank you.
All the hugs and hearts for this strong lady. Better is better. May she have all the love in the world as she starts this new stage in her life.
As a nurse and fellow long time Dana follower, I just want to say how much my heart swelled with pride for this woman and how much growth she has accomplished and Wow, such awesome gift to give to both her husband and herself. We can do big things, one bit at a time. Thank you for sharing and inspiring.
Thank you for sharing! This is incredibly profound. All the best to this woman in her new chapter of life!
What a beautiful and inspiring story. So sorry for her great loss but so thankful their last moments were together at home.
Oh my goodness! I would love to know this woman! She shared her heart and soul with you! I’m so touched. Thank you for sharing this!
My husband has had three strokes, was in the hospital for Christmas and New Years, we had just relocated to Arkansas to be in an affordable state, and bought a single story home because he has beginning dementia and I have walking and eye issues. I am working with your book also, and it has helped me get through many a tough decision. I want to take a moment to thank you also, your books have helped me also. I didn’t mean for this to be about me, at all. I just wanted you to know how much you have made a difference in my life also, and you need to know the good that you, my dear gifted one that loves Jesus, who doesn’t care, lol, has made in so many people’s lives, including those you never hear from, or don’t have a moment to comment. You have made a difference in this world. You must have wings beneath your tshirt and a halo in that curliness on your head. We care about you, too. Please know that. We appreciate your patience with the same questions being asked over and over again. We love your wit and puns. Just know deep in your heart how special you truly are! Thank you for being in our world. Hugs, Me xo
Ditto to Peggy’s post!
What a moving story. So happy she took the initiative with help from Dana’s method.
Thank you for sharing this.
Wow! Prayers for this lady as she continues moving forward. Dana, you have helped so many people! Many, I’m sure, who can’t express how there lives have changed/are changing. I will be one of your success stories. My house is already better but has a long way to go. Continue your work. Every YouTube video or podcast I listen to helps to keep me moving forward. You are indeed a blessing 🙌🏼
Dana, I hope you feel as though you just won a Pulitzer Prize! But this is actually even better!
Brava, both to you and this “student” of the Dana Method. What you teach is so much more than just decluttering. It’s vital life skills “the rest of us” somehow were not born knowing. Thank-you for changing my life by being so real about yours.
Well said. What a blessing you have been, Dana, to so many, including me. Thank you.
Dana, Thank you so much for sharing this inspiring letter. I hope you realize just how much your books and methods have helped us. Best Wishes. Shannon Sykes
Thank you to the woman who shared her story. Big hugs to you, sister. I have said for some time that Dana is doing the Lord’s work, and it is so inspiring and heartwarming to hear these “field dispatches.”
Very best wishes going forward <3
Such a moving letter, I had a cry as I went on an emotional journey reading it. Incredible breakthrough in such a challenging time, what an amazing woman to push through in all those moments to create much needed space and bring more simplicity. I’ve ‘started’ so many times, but reading this has encouraged me to just keep taking those steps leading me closer to less being better.
This is so inspiring and I had tears in my eyes reding this story, I do wish this lady lots of love and happiness in her new home.
God bless her in her decluttered new season in life. I cried for her. So much emotion in her words. Thank you Dana.
Thank you, Dana, for providing the blessings you shared with this dear, hurting lady and others of us dealing with grief clutter. Prayers for this sweet soul going through such a tough path.
I work for a move management company that specializes in downsizing to help others transition from a larger to smaller place or clear out an estate for the family after the owners have passed. I was so moved by this life story and her willingness to share it with others. So often our clients wait until they HAVE to downsize and it’s during an already stressful time in their lives so is especially difficult. We use many of your techniques including the Container Concept. Ironically, I’ve been trying to downsize my own home for the last couple of years and your books, videos and 3x/year all day decluttering sessions have given me practical advice and motivation. Please keep doing what you do so well. We “slobs wanting to come clean” really need you.
I’m also tearing up reading this, what a powerful story. First of all, prayers for this dear lady and all that she is going through. Second, thank you Dana for following God’s leading in starting your blog and writing your books. Decluttering can truly be life changing. My in-laws are in a somewhat similar situation in that my MIL just came home after being in a serious car wreck almost two months ago. She will also be using a walker and having home health care. Their home has always been generally presentable, but I know from time spent there that the cabinets (in a fairly large kitchen) are stuffed to the gills and she is also a crafter so there are supplies for that. However, I know that preparing food and keeping the house clean would be so much more manageable with less clutter (they are in their 80’s and my FIL doesn’t get around well either). I would love to help but don’t know how to approach the subject without coming across as judgemental or critical. They also live in a tiny remote town quite a distance from the nearest thrift store, although my husband and I would be glad to take things wherever we needed to. Thank you for sharing this heartbreaking and yet inspiring story. I’ve learned so much from you and am determined to not leave my children a mess to deal with when I am gone.
Oh, you have my heart Dear One! Best wishes on your new journey. We are all so proud of your progress and thank you for sharing your inspiring story with us.
I’ve been delaying the 5 min. pick ups lately because they won’t do much, but you are correct, they’ll do something! Thank you for the reminder.
Dana,
Thank you for sharing this woman’s letter. I hope you are feeling happiness and pride for the difference you made in her life, as well as for the difference you make in the lives of the many of us whom you inspire. I don’t know if this sweet lady reads the blogs here, but if she does, I want her to know I wish her peace and happiness. Thank you, Dana, for everything you do. You have made a difference in my life, too. Have a wonderful day.
OMG, I’ve got tears streaming down my face. What a brave and courageous lady to manage to even function, much less declutter during the illness and passing of her husband. Emotional trauma shuts me down. I want to take a lesson from her and do even better. And God Bless you, Dana. I’ve a long way to go but your technique absolutely works for me. I had worked into a near hoarding situation because of an overly critical narcissistic mother who taught me that nothing I did was ever good enough so I just quit trying. You inspired me by teaching me “better” not “perfect”. Don’t ever quit! You are doing a Godly service to so many people.
Blessings to the writer for sharing her testimony – another fine example what we CAN accomplish with the right guidance, tools & mindset! Love reading these success stories
Thank you for sharing I’m 100 percent certain her story of determination through the worst/heartbreaking time in her life will be infectious. What a wonderful gift she gave to herself and her husband to be able to spend what little time they had left together. My Prayers for this lovely lady as she continues to navigate life may it be peaceful and hopeful for her and I hope she will get a chance to read the the comments and feel the love from strangers to comfort her in time of need and to feel so proud of herself everyday.
Dana you are an inspiration for so many people thank you for sharing her story.
What an amazing story. Tears and triumph
Thank you for sharing
I really feel for her. My situation is similar, but my husband is recovering and doing better. However, as my brother said when Mel was first in hospital and we didn’t know much “this is the beginning of the end” He said it kindly and he’s right. So, daily as I go around, I continue on the decluttering with an eye towards selling this house sooner than I wanted to. I’m working with ” Keep only what is precious to you” and weed out stuff every day. Mine first. Since the stroke things changed. He used to say get rid of it, and now wants to keep old shower curtains. Always a challenge. Stay strong, move forward! Tissues handy always. Best to all! Nancy E
Wow this letter strikes so many poignant chords. What a triumph. I thank all involved in getting this email before my eyes. This is profound encouragement. It adds depth to my daily decluttering.