I regularly hear this question: How do you manage decluttering (or cleaning) when you’re sick?
Or even more difficult: How do you make decluttering progress when you suffer from a chronic illness?
There are two reasons why I haven’t given an in-depth answer before. First, I don’t suffer from chronic illness and I try to stick to sharing strategies I’ve tested in my own home on my own self. Second, when I’m sick, I often don’t do the things I know I should do. I mean, I’m sick.
But last week, while getting my house ready to decorate for Christmas and suffering from some sort of ickiness, I thought a lot about this question. Today, I’m sharing what I’ve learned from my own experience and from those of you with chronic illnesses who tell me what has helped you.
So here goes.
Adjust your Expectations
Last week, I had big plans. It was Thanksgiving week and the major remodeling work in my house was finally done. There are still little things to do, but I could FINALLY put stuff back. Reclaim our garage.
I was very excited. With all the free time I was going to have, I would (surely) get it all done. I also had no doubt I would be able to work on areas that were cluttered even before the big upset caused by new floors and ceiling scraping.
All this decluttering was going to start on Saturday morning.
But on Friday night, my throat started hurting. By Saturday, I was a sneezy mess with half-closed eyes.
I was determined to still try to make some progress in my garage, but I couldn’t live up to the daydreams I’d had.
I looked for the easiest possible stuff to do. And even though hanging something on the wall or moving a guitar from the top of a pile back into the house isn’t dramatic at all, by the time I was completely exhausted and had to stop, I could see a difference.
Even though what I could do was so much less than what I wanted to do, progress happened.
Our garage is a little easier to walk through than it was before I started.
My expectation was to finish. When finishing wasn’t an option, I decided to aim for better. To get as much done as I could do before my energy was gone.
When I let “better” be my expectation, I was pleased with what I got done. Even if I’d stopped after moving the guitar, it would have been “better.”
Now, to be clear, temporary sickness disrupting my decluttering plans irritated me. I was inconvenienced and I pouted a little/lot.
For those who live with chronic illness, though, adjusting expectations is often a matter of grieving. You pictured your life/home being a certain way, and had no idea that chronic pain or exhaustion or sickness would be your reality.
Accepting your new, unwanted normal is hard.
Embrace “better” and do the easy stuff first when energy and opportunity coincide.
If you aim for “better” and do something every time you can, progress will happen. It will happen slowly, but it will happen.
Always Start with the Basics
As my week went on, I didn’t bounce back to health like I wished I would. My voice was completely gone by Monday, I blew through too many Kleenex, and I had little energy.
I gave up on the goal of having a sparkling, park-in-able garage. Instead, I focused on getting and keeping the house ready to decorate for Christmas.
That would have been the stuff I worked on around my “real” task of decluttering the garage. Instead, it became my focus.
Every time I had energy, I did the dishes. Every time I started with the dishes, they took a little less time than before and I could continue working on more basics until my energy was gone.
The basics have a shockingly positive impact on the look and function of a home, and neglecting them, even for the sake of doing something with more impact . . . has a shockingly harmful effect.
No complicated shelf-building or bin-sorting can have the effect I desire if my kitchen counters are piled high with dirty dishes. Sorry.
Focus on Visibility
When I had a little energy and the basics were already done, I moved on to my dining room. It’s a visible space and clutter there would make Christmas decorating impossible.
I didn’t finish the dining room with my first pocket of energy, but after a few small chunks of time spent in there (after doing a few newly dirtied dishes), it was clutter-free.
After that, I slooowwwwly moved to working in the living room. Little by little, at about one-fifteenth the rate at which I had planned to work, the living room was picked up and ready for decorating.
And every time I saw my clean kitchen or cleared-of-clutter dining room, I sighed in relief. And those sighs often gave me energy.
Don’t Leave Anything to Do Later
When energy is fleeting and unpredictable, the “take it there now” principle upon which so many of my decluttering strategies hinge is key. It’s everything, really.
I make more progress, real progress, visible and sustainable progress . . . when I eliminate halfway points. When I avoid procrastination stations.
This is hard, especially when conserving energy feels like it needs to be the top priority.
Logic tells me to move everything that I know needs to leave the garage to the doorway that leads into the house. Go ahead and do all that now, and then take it from the doorway to homes throughout the house.
But this is actually the worst thing to do.
Illness-related exhaustion comes on fast and strong and unpredictably.
Shoving an end table into the pile at the door might be the last thing I can possibly do today.
And if I have to stop at the point when a mass o’ stuff blocks my path to the couch, I’m left feeling frustrated and angry. And I’ve proven that trying to declutter or clean up or do anything in this state is not only pointless, but detrimental.
I’ve made a bigger mess, and now I can’t walk through my garage.
And that experience discourages me from decluttering next time.
But if I take the end table (or the coffee pot or the suitcase) to its home right away, the end table is in its home. If I can move something else, great. If not, the end table is in its home. And the garage is slightly less cluttered.
The one thing is done.
And having an end table in the right place and a slightly less cluttered garage makes me happy. And that feeling of happiness motivates to do a little more the next time I feel a burst of energy.
Pulling out one item at a time and taking it either to the back of my Suburban (to haul off to the donation place) or to its home (where I would look for it first), means I can be done when I need to be done. With nothing left in transition to do later. Without making a bigger mess.
If you don’t believe me, try it.
Now, I know I’m talking about Christmas decorating here, and many of you are where I was nine years ago when a few bursts of energy over the course of a week wouldn’t get me anywhere close to having a cleared space to put up a tree.
But all of these principles are still true over the long term, too. Using energy (however unpredictable or fleeting) wisely, on the things that will have the biggest, most sustainable impact, will change your home.
And if a temporary illness caused you to let it all go for a few days (like I tend to do), these same principles will get you back on track.
A few other things to help you:
Awkward Pauses (a podcast) – this is one that I’ve heard was very helpful for some with chronic illness
What is the (Very) Least I Can Do to Keep My House Clean (a blog post)
Decluttering at the Speed of Life – my book that will give you a game plan for decluttering your home, goes deep into grief, and has a chapter about accepting help.
How to Manage Your Home Without Losing Your Mind – my book that teaches you the mindset and steps to (finally) feeling in control of your home.
--Nony
This is a topic close to my eart. I’ve lived with chronic pain since my mid30’s then a serious back injury added to that 6 yrs ago. I’m 52 now. I have learned a lot through my pain about letting go & choosing joy.
Of course my top goal is to be healthy…I can’t do anything if I don’t pamper myself. Before pain I could do what needed to be done without worrying about painful consequences…not anymore. So I guard my sleep, my meals/diet, my schedule….I do my best to keep my lifestyle organized so that I do feel well enough to get things accomplished even if it is slow going.
Kitchen – if I can’t do anything else I make sure I keep the dishwasher going & keep easy, healthy foods to eat on hand. That’s my worst days.
Timer – At my worst I couldn’t get out of bed. As I began to heal & wanted so desperately to clean my house! I started by setting a timer. I’d set it for 5 minutes cleaning, 20 minutes resting. In the beginning the timer motivated me to push through & keep working. As I became stronger the time kept me from over-doing….something I do easily then can’t move at all for a week. When I’m at my strongest I set a timer to work 20 minutes & 10 minutes. You can get a lot done that way!
One huge goal I reached this year that really helps with holiday decorating…any season. It took me almost 8 yrs but I’ve finally gotten a spare room organized enough to use as a work station. So I set up all my decorations in that room, unpacked, arranged, sorted, decluttered, ect then took things a few pieces at a time to where I wanted to display them. This way, I can close the door on the mess & work at a slower pace without the frustration of chaos in our living area. It took me a LONG time to reach this point. The room isn’t ideal but oh my it’s so much better than years past. I’ve dealt with chronic pain now for at least 17 yrs so it was about halfway in I determined to declutter & organize enough to enjoy my life more.
It is possible to improve with poor health. Other things I deal with now…my husband has juvenile diabetes so cooking takes up a lot of my time, planning healthy meals, shopping for food, ect. He works odd hours so that confuses things. I also watch my 1 yr old grandson on workdays. It’s been a super hard year doing that but we’re getting better at it as time goes on.
I love your blog & never miss a post! Thanks for giving more great advice & encouragement.
Thanks, I needed this post today! Why? I have a cold. I have a long-standing chronic illness. I live with my daughter’s family, including three energetic little mess-makers ages 6, 3 and almost 2. Just this morning I dramatically “despaired,” at which my daughter suggested adjusting my expectations…
Sigh of relief😘 I started the trail of sickness and my family followed. The extra days. my family were home turned to Quarantine Manor. I began with paralysis to cleaning. Thankgiving day I talked to my daughter about the 5 minute pickup math. She and my husband eagerly agreed to “only” 5 minutes! We set a timer and was able to completely declutter the living room. So you know what happened next?? My husband dragged the tree in and we put it up. Now we lost our energy before getting to ornaments but it was progress! The next day we put the ornaments up. Y’all be patient with yourself but try even if it’s in 5 minute intervals. Godspeed
This is great! Also standing ovation to you for your white bookshelf on the left. It’s always looked good, but it looks beautiful now. Not just because of less cluttered, but because you can see the love.
Don’t leave anything to do later is one I almost always follow- the follow-up to that statement is, “Because later, you might be feeling worse.” It’s a lesson I’ve learned over the years dealing with chronic pain. I’ve had to get into the mindset that I’m never going to feel great doing the things that I do- there’s always going to be some measure of discomfort or straight-up pain, but honestly, most of the time for me, the end result is worth it. I need my spaces to be clutter-free for both mental and safety reasons, and I absolutely breathe a sigh of relief when I sit down and can see clear surfaces and floors around me.
One of the best things I’ve learned is to make cleaning and other chores entertaining. I listen to the radio or a podcast while I work and that helps keep my mind engaged so I’m not focused on my pain or how I’m feeling. It’s gotten to the point where I actually enjoy the process because I have something to look forward to about it. And I’ve just accepted the fact that it’s going to take me longer to do some things. I’m going to be slower, and that’s okay- hey, more time to listen to that interesting stuff I’ve got on, right? 😉
Yes, you’ve nailed it with your advice! I’ve had severe rheumatoid arthritis for over fifteen years now. Adjusting my thinking and knocking down my persistent desire for a picture-perfect house was the first step. This first step took years…please ten or eleven. Even now that crazy way back of thinking still pops up in my head, and I have to put it in its place. I have to remember that some days it’s a miracle that I was physically able to get out of bed. That is my accomplishment that day. I remind myself I don’t have the energy or physical ability many others have, I and I try (try!) to embrace that. Honestly, I try talking to myself the same way I would talk to a best friend. On days when I am able, leaving my house “better” than when I woke up is a sweet accomplishment. Finally, you are absolutely right about not leaving things for later whenever possible. I don’t know how I will be able to move later, so if I can, I do it then. Your advice is very practical, even for those of us who have physical limitations. Thanks for being such an inspiration!
I also have chronic pain and nausea, yuck. But now I am starting to repaint walls and baseboards like a “normal” person. Listen to Nony’s podcasts while you work a little each day, and don’t give up on the decluttering process. Her methods work.
I am a few months post-op and started getting my energy back last week. House is picked up and have done a little Christmas decorating. I do it in planned stages to conserve my strength. And I put out fewer decorative items; remember, those items go back in storage or maybe go out the door.
About a year ago, I began to seek out help on how to reclaim my home and life from chaos and clutter … chronic, degenerative health issues be damned. Your blog was one of the first helpful stops on my search.
Today’s post is spot-on! It’s not often I find encouragement for living with chronic illness that’s realistic and usable. It’s even less often that I find others who are in the same situation as I am who are seeking sensible solutions and not sympathy. Found both here today! Thanks Nony … and everyone who commented.
In 2015 I started on a journey to health that had me in a wheel chair on and off for 18 months. I couldn’t put any weight on my feet and it was very limiting on the things I could accomplish. Why is it when you can’t stand up all the things you see that need to be done are up high. Ugh!
Also depression tends to set in so you see the things to do but just don’t want to do them. Thankfully I am completely recovered now and have set my sights on totally decluttering my home since I’ve had to do it when my sister died, and then a close friend with no relatives. I don’t want to do that to my son.
Thanks for all your advice and guidance. You are very inspirational.
These comments from those that share the chronic illness/pain tips are greatly appreciated. I need more of them, please. Between the chronic pain from a car wreck years ago to the lack of energy from the heart problems, and the major, chronic depression I’ve dealt with all my life (from a young child on), I really need the help.
After inlaws passed away, we had to clean a messy cluttered house to put on the market. They kept lots of useless stuff. Dust was thick on the furniture. Much went to the curb and rest was donated to local mission. The yard was mowed by someone else, yet not really tidy. They were up in years and arthritis slowed them down. From that experience, I realized that minimalism and downsizing made sense because the older we get the less cleaning we want to do/or able to do. Less stuff means less cleaning. I encourage older folks even before retirement to clear out, pass on things to family members, sell or donate items no one wants.
Hi. I wanted to thank you for posting this article on organizing the kitchen with chronic illness. I have been chronically ill for 20 years and now my kids are dealing with chronic illness. I am embarking on organizing our kitchen and making it easier to move around. Then comes the rest of the house. Your article inspired me. You do have to do a little at a time and it can be discouraging. Thank you and God bless!
I started decluttering and following your blog after realizing that chronic illness meant I wasn’t physically capable of maintaining my current amount of “stuff.” My clutter threshold was getting lower and lower and my house was getting messier and messier. Last year, I lived life every-other-day. I scheduled appointments, bought groceries, showered, cooked, decluttered, or cleaned every-other-day (and never more than one item per day). But slowly, as I incorporated all your steps to decluttering (and maintenance), I managed to do more each day. If I showered, I also put away all the items from the bathroom counter (because I had spent a day decluttering the cabinets and drawers already). If I cooked, I wiped down surfaces as things simmered. I finished dishes every night. I managed to do 5 minute pick ups each day (even if that was only a handful of items put away). I planned my appointments around having one day dedicated to laundry day. Every other day, I planned to do nothing. Some weeks I felt great and did small things every day instead of bugger things every other day. Either way, it was slow going. But by pacing myself and remembering that my goal was always “Better” not perfect, I was able to get car-load after car-load of clutter out of my house. This year, I’m going back through places I started in and I may working through them again. It’s much easier the second time! I’ve also been able to let things go in the past few weeks that a year ago, I couldn’t imagine losing. My mindset has changed. I don’t need all those things anymore. I really like all the space in my home now, and it’s so much easier to clean on days I have the energy to do so! 🙂