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Another Favorite Delusion: Tomorrow, I’ll Be a Potato Farmer

May 15, 2016 By Dana White | 21 Comments

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I love a good delusion!

Oh my word, y’all.

I abound with delusions. All sorts of them. Someday, I’ll be crafty, efficient, excited to exercise, and who knows what else.

When these potatoes started sprouting, it seemed like a great idea to hold onto them and start potato farming. I mean, I saw an instructional video years ago that sounded like it was super easy and all you needed was a trash can and some dirt. (At least that’s what I remember.)

My 10 year old (she was only 9 at the time) daughter was all for it. We researched, we dreamed, and we considered.

But we didn’t actually do anything. 

Making a potato farm out of old tires sounded fun. We kept dreaming and planning.

And then, the very next week on the way to the lake, we had TWO flat tires on our boat trailer!!! What luck!

Yay for us, the members of Future Potato Farmers of America, not so much for Daddy who had to change both flats and then buy and install new tires.

With the (totally rotten) spare, we had three tires to build our potato-growing contraption. But we couldn’t do it right then, because there was no room in the Suburban to actually haul them back home.

And then I never thought about our Potato Passion again.

Until my Slob Vision cleared on a day spent deep cleaning and I saw that the cute little sprouties of a few months ago had turned into alienish growths of terror.

And I gave up.

Goodbye, endless free potatoes.

Goodbye, dreams.

Goodbye, delusion.

I’m happy to do my part to support Real Potato Farmers. Besides, I learned we don’t eat as many potatoes as I thought we did. The bag of potatoes on the shelf below was scarily sprouted as well.

They all went in the trash.

--Nony

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Filed Under: decluttering, failures, figuring myself out | 21 Comments

Comments

  1. Katia says

    May 16, 2016 at 8:04 am

    I just took from my friend several potatoes to do the same…. I have chives (or do you call it green onion?) so I feel an experienced gardener 😉

    Reply
  2. Melinda Mitchell says

    May 16, 2016 at 10:19 am

    Oh Nony, that’s funny! I have some of those same delusions!
    Good thing we have each other as supports, in our “Time to Get Over Our Delusions” 12 step program! lol

    Reply
  3. Stella says

    May 16, 2016 at 5:43 pm

    …and onions, and garlic too.

    Reply
  4. Linda says

    May 17, 2016 at 1:36 pm

    Oh my goodness, the same happened to me except I actually *bought potatoes from Burpee’s catalog dreaming of silky smooth gold Yukon potatoes.

    Reply
  5. Raani says

    May 18, 2016 at 9:37 pm

    Love it! I have delusions of getting out my sewing machine and mending things…BTW, I’m a little sad cause I moved back to California without ever bumping into you in DFW. You’re my favorite blogger hands down, and my sister and I are hooked on your podcasts.

    Reply
  6. Tony says

    August 8, 2016 at 9:44 am

    You would have been disappointed if they were not potatoes intended for seed anyway. Learned potatoes from the store, will not grow the same under the best of circumstances. Most will not even produce actual potatoes. Organic potatoes bought from the store will grow, but your harvest may or may not be worth it. Buy potatoes intended for planting, more often than not they are cheaper anyway.

    Reply
  7. Jean says

    May 18, 2019 at 12:41 pm

    So many delusions, so little time!

    Reply
  8. Dawn says

    May 27, 2021 at 9:16 am

    I actually did grow potatoes at one time. When I lived in an apartment and had a patio. Now I have a yard but it is too much work to go out there (not on the same level as my living space, you see). The other day, when I cut a pineapple, I thought, ” I remember that if you put the top in water, you can sprout and grow a pineapple tree” but I threw the crown away knowing even if I started it, it would end up a mushy stinky mess.

    Reply
  9. Linda Marlene says

    May 27, 2021 at 9:20 am

    Believe it or not, my great uncle was a potato farmer in Alabama! I have one of his potato sacks.

    Reply
    • Linda Marlene says

      May 17, 2022 at 4:59 pm

      As I read this comment I thought, “Me too!” then I realized I had written this a year ago! So funny!

      Reply
  10. Lisa says

    May 27, 2021 at 10:23 am

    I see to come under a new delusion every week. 🙁 This week it is uses for vintage sheets. And ALL the things I could make from them. So many good ideas! But I don’t even have a vintage sheet. So I’d have to buy one. And that would require time and money and searching and searching for the perfect vintage sheet ….
    I’m so thankful to know that I’m not the only one to suffer delusions! 🙂

    Reply
  11. Ak says

    May 27, 2021 at 10:25 am

    Only yesterday my husband threw out the sprouting, rotting potatoes I wanted to plant. It had been months. It is hilarious to me that you emailed this post today.

    Reply
  12. susie says

    May 27, 2021 at 10:59 am

    Thank you for this reality check, I’ve been saving antique windows and doors, with the idea of making a green house in our yard. Last summer my husband cleaned them all out or the garage upstairs (what a job!) and piled them in the yard…..I had so many and we’re getting too old for this. Off they go, with another dream to pass on. I was heartbroken…but man, will it be nice to have the space AND to NOT have that idea hanging over me anymore.

    Reply
  13. Valerie says

    May 27, 2021 at 11:06 am

    Speaking of delusions… I’m planning to write “A Blob Gets Lean” 😂 someday, definitely someday.

    Reply
    • Linda Marlene says

      May 17, 2022 at 5:03 pm

      I am literally laughing so hard that tears are coming down my face! I love it! Thanks for brightening my day…I really needed it!

      Reply
  14. Sandra says

    May 27, 2021 at 12:24 pm

    Valerie – LOL!

    Reply
  15. Kathi Parshall says

    May 27, 2021 at 9:13 pm

    I did that for years. The last time, they got all mushy and gross…stained the stairs…I had soo many delusions, not enough energy.

    Reply
  16. Karin says

    May 19, 2022 at 4:02 am

    I planted potatoes in a corner of my garden in 2020.

    I did not dog then up when they were ready in 2020.

    They had a whole another cycle of growing and dying and I did not dig them up in 2021.

    I doubt I’ll dig them up this year, either 😅

    Reply
  17. Pamela N Vargo says

    May 19, 2022 at 8:37 am

    I actually grew some potatoes last year. My crop was enough for me to have one small meal. This was after babying them all summer. I love my local farmers who know what they are doing.

    Reply
  18. Cinda Slate says

    May 20, 2022 at 1:54 pm

    Re: growing garlic and onions – We have some potted plants on our sunny front patio. Every so often I stick a few leftover (uncooked!) garlic cloves in the pots along with whatever’s already growing in them. In a few days we have fresh green sprouts. I clip them as needed and toss them into rice, veg, and assorted meats. If you don’t pull the plant out you have a long-lasting mild garlic greens supply. Works even better with onions. Buy a bag of small onions (any kind) at your supermarket. Plant. Enjoy. No need to buy onion sets from the Garden Shoppe or Nursery.

    Reply
  19. Becky says

    May 21, 2022 at 12:52 pm

    The phrase “goodbye, endless free potatoes” made me chuckle.

    Reply

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