I recently received this email from Tara McDonough and had to share!
I just wanted to share an anecdote of what happened yesterday in my deslobification process.
Our family of 4 (+ a 100 lb dog) is moving in the next couple of weeks. We’ll be losing close to 1,000 sq ft of “junk space”! Ahhh!
We each seem to have our “problem spots.” I have the master bedroom. My husband has the garage (which will go from a 2 car down to a 1) and our kids (2 & 4) have their toy room.
So I decided to tackle the toy room with them yesterday. Which is just a toy room and not a play room because it’s 20 ft wall by 12 ft wall of toys with no room to play.
I had ideas of just throwing everything away in their sleep, but I guess that isn’t the nicest thing is it? I dreaded this like the plague! I figured it was going to be an awful tear and tantrum fueled disaster.
So I put on a smile and set out two large plastic bins, two small buckets, and one mesh-wire-hamper-thing (their “containers”). I explained that they each had a plastic bin for the toys that are the most important (that they really truly loved) and once the bin was full that was it. They had a small bucket for their little toys (Hot Wheels and these obnoxiously tiny toys called Shopkins) and the mesh thing for stuffed animals. The rest were going to be donated to other kids who don’t have toys.
Cue the waterworks. Every single thing they picked up was the most important thing EVER! My 4 year old is 30 pounds of drama (I wonder where she gets that from?) so it looked like we were going to be at this forever! But then I realized the joy of the container. It wasn’t my decision, it was the container’s limits. Every time they put something in the bin, I’d remind them that once it’s full, that’s it and if they want to fit something else they’ll have to take something out to make room. So sure, some stupid happy meal toys ended up in the bin while something I thought they liked or I spent money on didn’t, but it was their choice.
As I was bagging up the leftovers I kept thinking of the monetary value of the things I was tossing. I had to remind myself of the value of a peaceful home. Peace is worth far more than the 20 puzzles with pieces that haven’t been put together since they were purchased (what was I thinking?!).
Then something truly amazing happened.
Their bins were about 3/4 full and all of the sudden the drama just stopped. I looked at them and realized they had stopped picking things out of the pile and instead were contently playing with the toys in their bins. It was awe-inspiring. I kept asking if they wanted any more toys to put in their bins and they both happily said no.
The containers worked! Even better than I could have imagined! We’ve gotten rid of the toys they don’t even care about and we were left with a manageable amount that are important to them.
Thank you so much for your advice and encouragement! I really appreciate it!
Here’s the picture of what they kept:
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Nony here: Y’all, this made me cry. Such an amazing example of how understanding the container concept makes decluttering easier. It lets the natural limits of a container determine what can be kept. Those limits aren’t personal, they’re just there!
Other posts (and podcasts) about the Container Concept (that used to be completely foreign to me!):
Post – Ooooohhhh, Container! Now I Get It!
Post – Establishing Boundaries, Confining the Clutter, Whatever You Want to Call It
Post – Decluttering a Child’s Room
Podcast – Containers and Limits and How They’ll Change Your Life
Podcast – One In One Out
Podcast listeners click here.
Podcast (aslobcomesclean-comfeeddailyaudioblog): Play in new window | Download
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--Nony
We snuck around and cleaned out my grand-daughters room when she was out of town, visiting her other grandmother. That was the only way that we could remove the ‘baby’ toys that were really too young for her. We also got rid of clothes that were too small for her, but the little drama queen couldn’t part with.
It amazes me that you were able to get a four year old to cooperate with this purging.
Oh dear. I read the headline as using the container concept when decluttering the kids. And my brain leapfrogged to the container being the house and there being no room for all the kids. It was with some relief that I re read it and realised that my brain had left out the word ‘with’. Phew!
Yes! Containerize! It makes a world of difference. Setting those boundaries with a container takes the burden of saying ‘No more’ off my shoulders, because the container does it for me. It forces us into making decisions and choices that we would not otherwise be able to make, because we HAVE to.
Thanks to Tara, for sharing her testimony – it spurs us on!
Until the kids get philosophical and start asking things like why they can’t just have another container or a bigger container and realize that you’re still the one setting limits. My poor parents should never have taught us to think! lol
ARGH!
I have a 6 and 7yo daughters and Shopkins, beads and Loom Bands are driving me CRAZY at the moment!
All over the house, no matter how nicely I tidy/sort them they still end up everywhere…I admit I have deliberately vacuumed them up on occasion lol
Think I might need to set a container limit, too. hmm.
You did a great job, I hope I can wrangle my kids into similar thinking!
Wow, what a story. I always do the opposite and ask them to fill a box to donate. I think I will try this next time!
Me too…we have been doing it allll wrong….focusing on what they had to get rid of instead of what they can keep!!! Definitely going to switch it up next time around.
Have you read Simplicity Parenting? The chapter on toys is amazing. I have cleaned out my kids rooms about every 6-12 months and reduced toys down for them, storing some in the attic until the ask for it, which rarely happens. they are so happy to play with just a few toy each. I wish I’d have realized years ago how less stuff makes for better play, cleaner room, and more contented kids.
There are three adults in our house (me, hubby and DMIL) plus two cats we are moving from a huge 4 bed house to a smaller two bed two reception room house, i’m a crafter and we work from home and we have a lot of ‘stuff!’ i’m trying to container it all… get rid, i hate purging fabric but its going to have to happen!
the new kitchen has got twice as many cabinets though so thats a bonus!
I am SO doing this when we downsize, too. And maybe before then. 😉
This makes me want to hyperventilate…. my son’s room….. so many toys…. so many hand-me-down toys…… I really just need to go through them all and get rid of the stuff he doesn’t love and his room would be much better. He’s 7 3/4 and his room is overwhelming.