I’ve got five six of these Clutter Avoidance Conversations to help you get through family gatherings without bringing home stuff you don’t need.
Today’s approach: “You Know I Can’t Handle More Stuff”
Click here to if you can’t see the video.
Script:
Them: Hey sweetie, come in here for a minute, K?
Me: What do you need?
Them: Well, I have been working to clear stuff out of my house, and look what I found!! (Shows a box full of stuff)
Me: Wow! Go you!! You’ve been working hard!
Them: I have. I REALLY have. (Hands box to Me) Why don’t you go ahead and take it out to your car so you don’t forget when it’s time to leave.
Me: Oh, you wanted me to take it?
Them: Well, of course. I don’t need any of it.
Me: Oh, you know how hard I’ve been working to declutter my house too. I can’t take any more stuff since I’m trying to get rid of my own stuff!
Them: But you’ve got such a huge collection of tablecloths and candlesticks and . . . well . . . everything!
Me: Right. And you know how much of a struggle it is for me to keep my house under control.
Them: (Nods too knowingly)
Me: So thanks for understanding why I just can’t take them.
Them: Well, I really want them gone, so why don’t you just go ahead and take them now and you can figure out where to put them later.
Me: (confused) No, I meant I can’t take them at all. Too much stuff in my house already, you know. So go ahead and donate them. I’ll be okay!
Them: Donate them? Give them away?
Me: Or do whatever, but please don’t worry about me one bit. OK? Oh, I better go check the rolls!
--Nony
DON-ate them? GIVE THEM aWAY?
Well, sure! you were going to GIVE them to me, right? Or were you going to sell them to me?
Oh honey! Of course not! I wanted you to have them!
But I don’t need them – if you donate them, somebody who really wants them can have them.
But… but..
And if you handed that box to me, I would take it straight to the donation center anyway. If you want to make sure YOU’RE the one to give it to someone, set it up on craigslist or freecycle.
But there are killers on craigslist! I heard about them!
Hmm. Safer to just take it to Goodwill, then!
Hahahaha!!!!
Oooh! I like this alternate ending!
You know, I don’t get why they don’t get it. I really don’t. And I swear, it’s always this scenario! My Mom has finally just started asking me if there is anything I would just LOVE to have and if not, she takes it on off. Funny enough, she said it has been so freeing for her. I think letting go of some of the old memories has been healthy for her. I actually told her once that if she should die, all of it would be donated/trashed anyways because I don’t know anything about it. She got this ‘Ah HA!’ look on her face and it began. She told me I wouldn’t believe the amount of stuff they have gotten rid of!
Thrift stores like GOOD stuff. What’s with the stigma? Can you do an article on what quality goes to the thrift store, what goes to trash, and that in-between stuff that should only be offered to art students that are into destroying things for the material?
(I bought a Mille Bornes deck that was still in the original shrink-wrap for about two dollars less than its clearance price from a store. I might re-donate it without managing to have an occasion to open it, but that’s non-altruistic contribution to charity. I can’t give it to older relatives because they already have a deck.)
Yes, it’s nice to offer stuff to someone before donating it. It’s a little selfish to ask them to take away the whole box, but sometimes a friend can drop off your stuff at a donation spot as a favor.
I think Kelekona’s request for a post on what type of stuff should and should not be donated to a thrift store is a great idea! I second her request. Unlike the people that think stuff is “too good” to donate, I often find myself worrying that the stuff I would like to donate isn’t “good enough.” I would feel so guilty if I found out I was donating junk that they would then have to throw away.
I love all the videos and can relate! Here’s hoping for a clutter-free Thanksgiving!
I’ll work on that!
After seeing all of these dialogs, I’m convinced you’ve met my in-laws. Except they layer on the extra guilt of, “Your husband loved this stuff so much when he was a baby/child/teenager/in college. We thought you guys would want it!”
I dont worry about what to do with stuff that people give me. In my opinion when you give something away its theirs to do with what they want. My problem is that I have lots of visitors who like to stay with my three teen s and they inevitably leave things behind and you hate to throw it away but then you tell them to take it and they don’t. That really irritates me.
getting better about not accepting stuff but still have aways to go I have to be kinda rude at chirstmas. this year it shouldn’t be to bad my first is only a baby i can take whatever staight to a donation spot but I am a little more consurned when she can remeber and care about gifts. I am trying to make it as clear as possible to as much family as possible so I don’t have to put so much work into decluttering