My oldest, a 7th grader, started playing football this year.
At age 12, this is the fulfillment of his Life Dream.
But it’s different than he expected.
Even though he knew what to expect.
We’d talked to him about the realities he’d face. That practices were going to be hot, and hard. And not necessarily fun.
He was as mentally prepared as he could be, and he’s always been one to have a good attitude, so he’s been (mostly) loving it.
But a few days ago, he said, “Mom, I’ve realized that when I dreamed about playing football, I only thought about the games. Now that I’m doing it, I realize it’s all about the practices. The games are only a small part.”
Wisdom from someone still shorter than me. (At least for the next few days.)
When I dreamed of having my own home, of being a mom, I only thought about the parties. The playdates. The moments when we’d sit in the living room (on my perfectly matched furniture) and laugh while eating artistically-plated snacks.
But having a home, being a mom, being hospitable . . . isn’t about the parties. It’s about the practices. It’s about doing the dishes and vacuuming the floors and picking up the socks that never seem to make it into the hamper. Those are the things I didn’t picture. I knew about them. Logically, I would have told you that of course I understood the importance of each of those daily tasks.
But I didn’t. I didn’t realize that those daily tasks are it. They are the heart of being a mom and a homemaker.
--Nony
I needed to read this today! My little girl is 3 weeks old and while I knew on some level I’d be sleep deprived and it would be hard, reality is definitely settling in now. But this is the heart of being a mom!
Oh man, this one was extra good!
Smart boy. Glad he’s enjoying football.
Such wisdom from you! Although I’m not sure if you’re taller than me! Have you heard the Steven Curtis Chapman song about “picking cheerios up off the living room floor? Do it all for the glory of the one who made you…” Hard to do, easy to say…
I love that song!
I have recently read 2 of your e-books and also reading your posts from past years. I have to say, this is my favorite one! If you put all that you write into a nutshell, this explains the very heart and reason why all this matters. Thank you!
Very profound! You have a very wise son! I only started to figure this out in my early 30s.
Thanks for this!!
Wow. This one made me sob. Apparently the above reality is something I’ve been fighting even though I know the truth deep down. Thank you and your 7th grader for revealing it so vividly. This is my favorite post yet!
This brought me to tears. I always wanted to be a wife and mom. As a child, when asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I always said, ” A wife and mom.” Now I am living that lifelong dream and am miserably overwhelmed most days. I never thought about the day to day.
My mom is a much better housekeeper than I am and had far fewer children. She has two, seven years apart and I have five, 11, 8, 4, 3, and 1 1/2. Somehow the reality of what that means never hit me before. I bet mom’s house would have been messier with five as well.
But the thing is, I get so stuck in the mess and clutter, that I don’t ever have the fun! I’ve hosted Thanksgiving twice and the 4th of July once in thirteen years.
I need to focus on each day and realize that this is life. Real life and the life I always wanted. The mess isn’t something to fight, it’s the result of life happening. And if I accept that and learn to deal with it, the fun parts that we have been missing, can begin to happen. The practice isn’t worth it without an occasional game to play and win either.
Wise boy, your son. He’s right, and so are you. Living with clutter – and sometimes worse – pretty much puts an end to the dreams of parties and other get-togethers. It’s always the practice that matters most. 🙂
One of your best posts ever!!
What a great post and a great (and helpful) realization.
I love this! It’s so true and very much like my thinking when I used to imagine adulthood and being a stay at home wife and then mom. I think I just might post “It’s all about the practices” on my fridge! If I do well on my ‘practices’, it will be more possible to have the fun of the ‘big games’ having fun and making memories with my kids and friends and family.
this one hit home. HARD. trying not to cry. at work right now…
Very touching post. This has got to be my all-time favorite. And I love that SCC song, too!