On Friday I mentioned over on my Facebook page that my normal friend had come over to help me clean my master bedroom.
You know on cartoons where there’s one character who moves slowly while the Tasmanian Devil is a blur all around? That’s pretty much what it felt like.
Honestly, watching her was fascinating. When I could get my eyes to focus on the blur.
Let me clarify a few things first, though. I’m not sure I should keep calling her normal. First of all, she likes to clean. As in, she kept making these little squeal-ey noises when a new spot was sparkly.
And she’s really good at cleaning. I think she’s a wonderful example of someone using their gifts to bless others. She does this often for new moms, sick friends, etc.
I guess my illness is Slob Brain.
Anyway, here are a few things I observed that I hope to process and work into my own deslobification process.
1. She’s fast.
Crazy fast.
First of all, she didn’t waste time making deep sighs or standing there paralyzed, staring into the abyss that was my master bedroom. She LITERALLY jumped on my bed and started cleaning the mirror that’s behind my headboard. The wall-size mirror that I’ve never cleaned.
Did I just admit to the world that one entire wall of my master bedroom is a mirror? Supposedly, this design (created in the 80s) was called the “romance package” because the mirror is supposed to reflect the fire in the fireplace that’s on the other side of the bedroom.
I know. TMI. I’ll stop now.
Anyway, my point is that she got after it. She didn’t pause to make fun of my mirrored room or to brush the tears from her eyes when she realized how bad it really was. She just got started. Hmmm, what a concept.
2. She did what the books tell you to do.
I’ve read in lots of different places that you should start in one spot and go clock-wise around the room. Honestly, I didn’t think they were talking about me. My room was SOOOOO messy. Surely, this wasn’t the way to do it when you were dealing with three-feet-of-clutter? I’ve always decluttered first, and then cleaned.
If I had time. Time to clean, I mean . . . after I spent all that time decluttering.
She just grabbed something to dust with and started moving things and dusting, all at the same time.
3. She was prepared.
She brought a cutesy carrying thing full of cleaning supplies. Not because I don’t have any, but because she’s a big proponent of having the right supplies to make cleaning easier. No self-righteous let’s-do-this-the-way-grandma-did-it attitude there. If something makes cleaning faster and easier, she’s all for it. And by having everything in one cleaning-tote, she didn’t have to stop between the bedroom and the bathroom.
OK. I’m stopping here for today. Tomorrow, I’ll share a Part Two post with at least two more observations.
Here’s a before/after of one area. She was so fast, I didn’t have a chance to get before pictures of all the sections. Which is really okay . . . because they were embarrassing.
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if i did not love you before i would now. First I love to organize and clean so that is awesome. second you shared your heart with me and made me feel good about the shape of my house right now. I honestly try to start my cleaning with my bedroom or i will never get to it
Hi there,
I loved your honesty in this entry.
I, long ago, made a decision to keep things off the floor. I reason that if there were ever a fire, a firefighter needs to get through the room. That is something I teach the kids, too. I think that reason works for us.
I hope that your friend’s habits rub off on you. 🙂
Rebecca G.
LOVE your blog! Thanks for letting me know that I’m not alone.
I bought one of those cleaning totes, obviously the wrong one, because it is too narrow to hold the cleaners, LOL. So it is in the back of the cupboard with cleaning stuff in front of it. LOL!
When I was growing up, my mother always told me that “cleaning is not something you love or hate, it is just something you do.” Whenever I am looking at a major clutter spot that just makes me want to sob hysterically, I always remember her statement and just start. Otherwise, I will spend way too much time crying, lol!
Wow, she can come to my house…
That’s so weird…. about her being ‘crazy fast’. My husband is ‘crazy fast’ when he does dishes – something I hate to do (the dishes, not the fast part). He can do a sink full (make that 2 sinks & a counter & the stove) of dishes in 10 minutes flat. All that would take me at least a half an hour.
How DO they do that?
BTW – my side of the bed looks like your before picture – only not so much clothes, but books & crafts.
if i’m in a “groove” and really cleaning, i can be crazy fast too. the problem is when i let the amount of stuff overwhelm me, somehow think i need longer to clean than i actually do, and then don’t do it…. for 6 months to a year….. or longer. when we moved out of our old house, there were cobwebs in the upper corners that had been bugging me for years, but i somehow couldn’t justify dusting cobwebs when i didn’t have tim eto shampoo the carpet….
Such a great post. Really. So often I get caught up thinking “if only I had this then it would be easy to clean” — I love the part where she just started cleaning that ginormous mirrored wall of yours.
Motivating. Just keep moving. That’s my saying.
Seriously, that was the most fun I’ve had in a long time. Maybe there is something wrong with me! Thanks for the kind words, and for being the kind of friend who was gracious enough to allow me to bless you. I’ve offered cleaning for people who are too proud to let me clean their bathrooms. Get over it! We ALL (yes, me too) have messes in our homes. And I’ve needed help cleaning sometimes, too. God bless all of you in your cleaning journeys…wherever you are in them!
Hello, Normal Friend! (and Nony!) I signed in to celebrate with ‘Nony’ over what a blessing you were to her. You are something very special.
And, my suggestion is, next time she needs a little blogging vacation, maybe you’d like to add some thoughts and tips for the rest of us slob brains, as well.
Thanks for the inspiration, ladies!
You are so gracious Normal Friend and so right. It is pride that keeps us from accepting help with anything (not just cleaning) when we need it. Thanks for the reminder to be humble and ask for help!
Hey! Who let you into my house to take those pics??! I mean seriously, if it weren’t for the mirrored wall, I’d think those photos were taken in my bedroom! I too was blessed with friend who has been helping me with this problem. She isn’t so much into cleaning but helping me to declutter and organize! I am SOOO thankful for her time! It has made a huge difference in my house. Now if only I could learn to do it alone!!!
Clockwise..never would have thought about that in a million years! Thanks for sharing that observation 🙂
Nony,
I loved this. I am going to use it to debate a past post though. Hoarders don’t let there friends come over and help them. Hoarders don’t look forward to hiring cleaners.
The fine line for me between slob and hoarder is that a slob is somewhere between wanting it to be better and too overwhelmed to make it happen, and not really caring that it’s bad but fine if someone else does the work.
Hoarder is when you stop wanting it to be better, and on some level need it to be that way.
I’m making a point of this because realizing that the mess did really bother me was a huge point on my deslob journey. I always thought making the bed was something I was supposed to do, and when I realized I liked coming unto a neat bedroom at night, that it made me feel better, I dropped the anti-authority part of my slob battle.
Anyway thanks for the ongoing inspiration.
Thank you for sharing this. I feel that I can do my cleaning but the overwhelming feelings kick in and it takes me a while to feel like I made a difference. I am in agreement that hoarding is when you don’t want it to be better and being a slob for me is when exhaustion kicks in and I haven’t started to get to work. I know I want it to look different in my room and in my house. I’m glad to know there are so many people like me and it’s not a bad thing after all.
I, too, had a wonderful friend come help me clean for my daughter’s bday party this weekend. (What was I thinking??? I said “ok” for a dozen or more 10yr olds and their possibly judgemental moms to invade our house! Insanity!) She too, went straight to work and never stopped to cringe at my mess. She said bring me a garbage bag and tell me if you need me not to throw it out. We filled the curbside can to the top, and just a few short hours later (yeah, I was positive it would take weeks) we had the entrance cleared. I love reading your honest blog, because I see you being real, succeeding, sometimes backsliding, but always moving forward. Thank you!
I know this is an old post, but let me tell you, you are NOT alone! My room looks like this RIGHT NOW. my husband HATES it. so do i, but can’t find the motivation/time to do anything about it. your blog is helping to see that even a little bit will help. Thankyou!
A little bit DOES help. A lot!
I’m way late to this entry, but I’ve been reading from the beginning and this post really spoke to me. I LOVE to clean and organize and declutter, and I’m darn good at it. I’ve often thought that I’d love to help a friend or family member out, but have been afraid to offer in case the offer was taken the wrong way.
My own personal struggle is with managing money. I mean well, and I make enough money to live comfortably if I could just be aware of my own actions….gah, anyways, this post got me thinking about a good friend who has given me some of the financial advice that has had this biggest impact on my life, and who is currently struggling with back problems, a toddler, an infant, and a messy house. I’m going to call her tomorrow and offer my help. 🙂 Thank you!
I think something worth considering…is that it’s a lot easier to clean someone else’s home than your own. I learned this as a child, lol I’m serious, *serious face*, a friend and I would take off and I would clean her entire bedroom and she would clean mine. And we did it, we loved it, we enjoyed and it was complete. We did everything and when we were done, in record-timing of course, it was spotless and we were energized.
Cleaning up someone else’s belongings and stuff is much different. It shouldn’t be, it’s the same process but it is. It’s not your stuff, you don’t get side-tracked, you want better for the other person and so much more stuff I’m not going to bother listing.
Honestly, if you were tasked or invited to go and clean someone’s place you’d probably enjoy it, do better than your normal and do a real good job at it too. It’s one of those backwards things.
I love that! It’s so true. I always help with dishes and cleaning up at our parents house but hate to and don’t at my own house. I think my friend and I should do this!
Christine’s comment reminded me of my childhood. Parents would like having me come over, since I enjoyed picking up their children’s room. It was fun. It was play. My room was definitely another story!
I am a teacher, and I have a “fast” friend/co-teacher. She works circles around me! While I am still standing there, overwhelmed, trying to make decisions about where to start first, she starts in and gets finished! I have learned a lot of organization “tricks” from her, but I am always amazed at her speed! I wish I had that determination, but I will keep working on it!
I have a couple of ladies that clean my living rooms and kitchen once a month. Before they come I declutter the areas. Last time, she was early! And she asked me, why do you clean before I get here? Because I know I have crap everywhere and you can’t clean with it here. She went on like normal, cleaning as she stowed toys, books, and movies. It’s not the stuffs fault we can’t clean, but US (like how I just pulled you into the boat with me?) Why must it be clear of clutter before we clean? Why can’t you sweep and then pick the Legos up out of the pile? Why must the kitchen not have anything on the counters before they are wiped? Because we think so. Perfectionism seems silly when the desk is covered three feet high in papers.
it is easy to be objective when you are looking at someone else’s mess. I much rather clean other people’s homes. More fun.
Wow! I need her here!
Can I borrow your friend?
Don’t feel bad! It is much more fun and a lot easier to clean another person’s house. You are totally detached from it so it’s not as stressful! 🙂
It’s funny, because I am usually quite fast too, when I finally get to it. It’s the getting started and getting past feeling overwhelmed that is my problem. Once I get started I just go and go. My husband is the slow one with cleaning, when he bothers to help about once or twice a year at the most. It takes him 30-45 minutes to do what takes me 10-15. The other thing that’s funny to me is my bedroom growing up had an entire wall of mirrors. Those horrible square tile ones with the gross gold scibbled all over them.
Thank you so much for being so brave to share pictures and tips. The rooms that you show pictures of resemble my house. I don’t feel alone anymore. I love the words of wisdom about starting with the easy stuff that has a home and move from there. I feel overwhelmed walking into a room and never know where to start. These posts are pretty old, but still hit home now. Please continue sharing! You really have inspired me to take charge and not allow memories to get in the way. Just one question for your very organized friend, what does she do with all the papers that come in from insurance companies, bank statements, and all the other stuff that’s important to keep for a while? That’s the worst part of my clutter. Any suggestions would really be helpful at this point. Thank you again!
I’ve read this before, and reading it again, I realize how much it applies to me . thank you “Nony” for being able to say how the rest of us feel but I never could really put it into words. I so much wish I could clean & declutter like that friend! I have your book & read it straight through like a wildfire going through dry grass, and love it.
I recently experienced this. I’ve been in my apartment for nearly twenty years, and my first roommate there was my friend Dee. She moved out and married after a couple years, and I didn’t see her much until recently. She came over to clean my pantry and some cupboards. I have never seen a space go from so messed up to so uncluttered AND clean in such a short time. She was at my place for four hours, and she not only did my 10′ by 4′ pantry, she also organized three other cupboards! There was no judgment, which was a relief; just catching up and talking about her three daughters. I will be calling her “Dee, the Miracle Worker” for the rest of my life. I was so embarrassed for so long about that mess, but I’m glad I called her.
I’m looking at that picture, with all the stuff on the floor, and I just can’t conceive of how to get from picture A. to picture B. I am like you; I would stand there, staring at the pile of stuff, and I would mentally dissect it and think, I don’t have a place to put these things, I don’t know where they go, or the place that they go is buried under more stuff, so I can’t put them away. Despite the fact that I got all those items into those positions in the first place, I’d think, I don’t know what to do! I’d pick up one thing or maybe two and lay them on the bed; I’d maybe straighten out the lampshade (because that’s static and doable), and then I’d turn out the lamp and leave the room.
Good news! I’ve come a LONG way since that post was written! Here are the basics of the steps I use to working through an overwhelming mess: https://www.aslobcomesclean.com/2016/03/working-through-the-feeling-of-being-overwhelmed/
But I highly recommend pre-ordering my upcoming book (Decluttering at the Speed of Life) so you can get The 5 Day Clutter Shakedown for free right now. It takes you through working through any mess, with video so you can see exactly how the process works. Here’s info on getting the bonus: https://www.aslobcomesclean.com/bonus