Waaaaay back, like six months ago, when my Sister in Law put her house on the market, I started dreaming about her couch.
Her red one.
It would look fantastic in MY living room, and then I could move our current couch into the office/gameroom and the daybed from there into my daughter’s room . . . . and so on and so forth.
She has now moved, and is keeping her red couch.
But she did decide to get rid of her eggplant couch. Which I had no problem falling head-over-heels in love with.
I’m ok with being couch-fickle.
Once their impending move became reality, I batted my eyes at hubby and said plainly, “I want that purple couch.”
Then, last week, as I knew that the time was approaching when I would get to bring it to its new couch-loving home, I had to figure out the logistics.
I decided to put it in our office/gameroom. It could go in the living room, but that would mean changing my red accents.
We’ve had a daybed in the gameroom since we moved in, because it’s also our guest room. The only problem is that it’s a guest room for around 5 days a year. And for the other 360, it’s not. And now that it’s functional (as opposed to being an ebay storage room like it was pre-blog), I can send guests to the half-bath in there (instead of the never-know-when-it’s-going-to-smell-like-pee boys’ bathroom). I love this room, but lately I’ve been irritated that new guests seem to hesitate, thinking it’s a bedroom because . . . you know . . . there’s a bed in it.
So last Monday, I was happily thinking about how my daughter would have so much more space when we put the trundle bed from the office in her room. And then it hit me.
I should get rid of her full-size bed.
A perfectly good bed.
A bed that we bought NEW. (As opposed to the many many other pieces of hand-me-down furniture we have.)
And if we get rid of the bed, we should get rid of the bed frame as well.
A perfectly good bed-frame.
I knew in my brain that this all made sense, but every slob-cell in my body resisted.
I called my mom. I needed to talk it through with someone. Someone who knows all about my “issues” and also has full knowledge of our space and our needs.
She was so understanding of my inner conflict, but she confirmed that there was no reason to keep it. No reason as long as I wasn’t keeping something from her . . .
(She had just dreamed a few nights before that I told her we were having twins, maybe triplets.)
Har-dee-har-har-har!
There was no reason at all to keep it. Other than the usual what-ifs. Sure, this blog could take off and I could publish a best-seller and we could buy that big dreamhouse with a pool (for me) and a pond (for hubby). But in the meantime (the very long and likely indefinite meantime) I’d be stuck with a big ol’ mattress and boxsprings with no real place to put it.
This is my problem. Why I don't get rid of stuff. I have a hard time getting rid of perfectly good stuff, even if I don't need it. I'm trying so hard this month to work on it and finally have the motivation.
And when you make millions of $$ with your book/blog/made-for-TV-episodes you'll be able to buy a new bed. Or you could just have ours. I'm sure one of our sleeping contraptions could go to you. We have an extra queen bed, two pull-out couches and a regular couch. About once every 4 years we actually need all those spots at once.
I love that couch! congrats on making a huge decision like that. Last year I got rid pf perfectly good bunkbeds we'd hunted forever for the right ones and finally bought just a year before when we moved here. But when we decided to put my antique fullsize bed in my youngest's room, we just didn't need it anymore. I put it on Craigslist and made $80 bucks on it. I did kind of regret it once later, but I don't now. Glad it's out of the way.
I found your blog via OrgJunkie over the weekend. Over the past couple of days I've read a LOT of your posts, especially the older ones. I am loving your blog. Your honesty and humor are so appealing. I'm not a slob but I am far from "normal". I've struggled a lot to learn to keep house and to enjoy it. It gets easier all the time. Your post yesterday regarding sharing our lives when we share our homes was awesome. Such an exciting milestone in your journey! And then you decided to get rid of a good item that you don't need! You are on a roll this week. Keep it up!!
I know! It's so hard to get rid of things when you know that in four years, you'll wish you had it for that one night!
Welcome, Amanda! It's always nice to hear that even non-slobs are reading!
WOW!!
This is so major. The nicer something is the harder it is to get rid of it, but it’s all an illusion. The decision you made was one to make you home and your life better in the present tense.
I’m going to bookmark it for next time I get a case of the, but-what-ifs.
Reading your dream of writing a best seller makes me wonder how well your book is doing in the market these days… I’m sure it’s not something you want to share publicly but I do hope it’s doing well. It has really helped me a lot!
It’s doing really well!! Not a bestseller, but I’m super happy and LOVE hearing from people who have read it!
I love both your books Dana & they have really helped me in my ‘deslobification’ journey! I’m glad they’re doing well & I’m sure they’ll become ‘best sellers’!
Love from the UK x
“…is keeping the couch” was sooooo stink’n funny!
Your comment about writing a bestseller made me laugh! I love your books!!
We will be getting a new couch this year. I’m so glad I read this. I know the one we have now would have ended up in the playroom. Seeing this, I’m going to build up my strength to PUSH it OUT of my house when the time comes!! Thank you. I love your posts!
We only have 3 kids left at home. None of them use bunkbeds (any more), but when we moved, those bunkbeds came with us and sat in the basement for 3 years. This past summer. I pulled them out and advertised them for free, With The Mattresses. Such a relief and so glad that someone else could use them. There was a time when they would have moldered in my basement until the end of time.
There is still so much that needs to move on to bless someone else.
I know you made this comment three years ago, but I just have to say that I am proud of you! Why do we do this to ourselves…keeping stuff around that we’re not going to use and it just sits in our storage area taking up valuable space. It is always such a weight lifted off of our shoulders when we let go of these types of things. And the larger the item is, the lighter we feel when it is gone!
So what did you do with it? Did you haul it to Goodwill? Do they take furniture? Or did you set it at the curb?
This is so helpful. I have such a hard time deciding what to keep and what to let go.
In my first flat that was actually only one room + tiny bath, I had a bed that was a sofa during the day. But people never sat on it no matter how artfully I arranged it, I even had pretty cushions and everything. I got so fed up I got rid of my bed and brought a couch instead, one easy to open at night.
Even now, two moves and a bigger appartement later, I have no beds at all. I still sleep on the same couch – except that it’s always open since I have am actual bedroom, well sleeping room ;-D
I just found you recently–thanks for all the help and suggestions. I am enjoying listening to all your old podcasts and catching up on the blog. You are so helpful!!!
I’ve bought all three of your books for myself, but I’m going to let my mom read one while I read the other, she needs to declutter, but she needs to make that decision, so I hope it will help her with getting started. Thanks for your videos and books they really have helped me deal with my clutter!
All your books are best-sellers in our house, Dana! Especially the Audible audio book versions. We turn them on and listen to you while we are decluttering. Your most recent book was such a good summary of your most important ideas. You’ve been a godsend for me and my sweetheart. She is a slob too.
I am the son of hoarder mother, so there are a lot of home organization skills I didn’t learn growing up. She could easily be on those reality TV shows of Hoarders. She just recently got evicted from her apartment and had to involuntarily declutter and downsize. The best thing that ever happened to her, in my opinion, and the opinion of, my dear auntie, her younger sister who has taken the brunt of trying to help her over the years. Now she lives in a room in a shared house, and her life has never been better.
Thank you for all your ideas and inspiration. I don’t know why more men don’t listen to your stuff, because it’s been super helpful for me, best I’ve found, even beating out Peter Walsh and it’s all too much. Maybe talk to your marketing people and see if a male focused version of your material could do well. Pull in your hubby for a cameo with a section on organizing garage and workshop spaces perhaps. Maybe that will be your newest best seller!
This is such a good and timely post! I struggle with moving one in, moving one out. I purchased a desk about a year ago from Overstock. The desk originally sent didn’t have all the proper holes drilled into it, so I inquired about a replacement part. Instead, they sent a whole new desk! So since then I’ve been storing this now taped/boxed up desk, with the defective part, in my bedroom.
And I decided recently, I don’t have room to build this 2nd desk, with the items I already have, and would it even work, or would I try knowing that this part is defective, and nothing I tried work to create the needed hole? No, no, I wouldn’t. So I’ve decided it needs to go to the trash pile.
I greatly enjoy your books and blogs, they are so relatable, and it’s helping to create a new way of thinking and a new way of life! I can’t believe how many bags I have dropped off to Goodwill, with still more to go!
So yesterday, I threw out two trash bags full of VHS tapes; two bags of obsolescence stashed under a bed for over a dozen years. I’m appalled at myself but it looks like I’m progressing.
We recently bought a new couch, as our old sectional was worn out and ugly. Since my twin granddaughters arrived last summer, we needed room for two of all the baby stuff. We considered offering it on one of the local buy-nothing sites, but that would mean putting it in the front yard and then fielding phone calls and no-shows. Instead, my daughter’s in-laws brought their truck and made two trips to the dump with it THAT DAY! What a gift of freedom! We are all enjoying our lovely new couch, the first non-hand-me-down one we have ever had.
I have a coffee table in the middle of our entryway this week because of this same struggle. It’s a very functional coffee table, but I just got a new one that is solid wood and more stylish. But I can’t fold laundry on the new one. I’m actually kind of afraid to put anything on it and scratch it. And my husband liked the old one better (now he tells me!). And honestly, I have too much furniture in every single room because of this struggle.
You know what the real problem is? My husband and I had marriage issues a few years ago – the kind of unfixable issues that we just swept under the rug because divorce felt too final. But now I think I’m just storing his “future apartment furniture” and we pretend that’s not what’s happening. Is it possible to change my clutter habits without answering my big life questions first?