Warning:
This post contains complete and total honesty which may likely cause nausea in all readers, shuddering in most, and full-on flabbergastation in those whom I refer to as “normal.”
I’m a scatterbrain. I believe I was born this way.
I’m germaphobic. This was an acquired neurosis.
I procrastinate. This is just me not doing what I’m supposed to do when I should.
Those three things, working together, brought about today’s situation. I could probably re-name my blog: A Germaphobic Procrastinating Scatterbrain Comes Clean.
But I won’t.
Today is Thursday. Mopping Day.
I didn’t mop last week. But, of course, as I’ve explained before . . . that’s the beauty of having a Mopping Day. Without a designated day, it would almost never occur to my scattered brain that the kitchen needed mopping. And when it did occur to me, my tendency to procrastinate would step in and talk me into “waiting for a better time.”
Knowing Thursdays = Mopping means that I stop and look at my floor realistically. Today was one of those days when I think, “How in the world did I go months without mopping pre-blog?” The floor was in crazy-obvious need of mopping.
There were dirty spots, sticky spots . . . .
And this:
Really, I inserted that picture, and had second thoughts. It’s so disgusting. I’m afraid this is going to be one of those separate-the-housekeeping-strugglers-from-the-true-slobs posts.
Let me offer a series of (totally lame) excuses.
The bug man came at the end of last month. As I’m sure you know, while the bug man’s appearance means that you can sleep better at night, it also means that you are going to see more bugs than you saw before he came.
Dead ones.
I, being a germaphobe, do not touch bugs. Even ones with six feet up.
So, when I saw this dead one a few days ago, I made a mental note to ask hubby to dispose of it for me.
But I must have lost that note, because I never thought to tell him about the bug when he was actually home. And it was in a place he really can’t see from his chair at the table.
And then someone stepped on it.
Unfortunately, I have no idea who did it. I’m choosing to believe that it was someone who was wearing shoes.
This morning, when it was time to mop, I had no more excuses. Hubby wasn’t home.
I had to mop, and even I, a slob, couldn’t justify mopping around the bug.
So, I layered three disinfecting wipes and scraped him up. I actually considered just mopping him up, but my germaphobic brain wouldn’t let me do that after picturing little bits of him being spread all over the kitchen.
The procrastinator-me allowed the germaphobe-me to justify waiting until I could get hubby to pick up the bug for me. But the scatterbrain-me kept me from remembering to tell him.
I have issues.
I just want to let you know that I can *so* relate. I live in the deep South, where it never ever gets cold enough to kill bugs. The issue in our house is cat vomit. Sometimes I get really passive-aggressive about always being the one to clean it up. Husband doesn't seem to…see it. It's not unusual for me to find a puddle, think "Well I am TIRED of THIS," place a paper towel over it (so as not to ruin our laminate floor;) we're not beasts.) And then, walk away and wait for husband to clean up. Last time I did this it sat for over a week before I'd had enough and cleaned it up. So yeah, it's not just you:)
Don't beat yourself up. At least it was on the floor and not smooshed on your kitchen table. And he's gone now. yay!
Not that I want to one-up you in grossness… But last night I stepped on a bug, in socks, and then it tried to crawl away. I didn't scream – otherwise I probably would have woken up my 2 year old son who had _just_ fallen asleep. But I really really really wanted to scream. In my defense it was at my mom's house and she had been traveling for the last 2 weeks so the house had an abnormal number of critters.
I must not be one of the normal readers of whom you speak. I neither shuddered nor became nauseous. A bug is just a bug – they happen. And frankly, they contain way less germs, and way less dangerous germs than the raw meat we handle almost daily. I'm not even disturbed by the fact that he laid there a day or so before you dealt with him. Given the chance, I'll get my husband to deal with them every time, and it is easy to forget such a trivial thing. I think you should give yourself a break on this one.
I have no problems with one-upping on this one! I'm just so glad to have some comments. I'm always nervous when I put up something like this and no one even says anything. Then I just have to imagine what they're thinking, and I imagine the worst!
And Please Buy, thanks for making me feel better.
I'm totally not on the "normal" list, but I wasn't squicked out either, I was expecting MUCH worse!
Let me make you feel better in that I do not do bugs. EVER. I hate them, really I do. So I would've done the exact same thing: left it for hubby to take care of!
We've had a mouse incident in the past few weeks. Let me just say bugs are 100 times easier than mice. It just makes my stomach turn to think about it…
-Lauren
Today I had to mop but when makes me feel dumb is that when mope, it's not really getting the corners. I forget about it and then realize a loooong time later that all my mopping had pushed dirt into the corners and under the fridge, etc. Then it's built up and gross. Sometimes I wonder what guests think. So the other day I found THIS http://uglyhousephotos.com/wordpress/?cat=82 This will freak you out and hopefully make you feel good about yourself. 😉
I totally agree that mice is a whole lot ickier then bugs. We just "hopefully" got rid of our little pet problem.
I just read your post about the magazines. Suggestion for you…get a binder and fill it with the page protecters. As you go through a magazine you get tear out the pages that are of interest to you/projects you want to do/want to look at again. Place those pages in the binder. That way they are all in one place and you dont have to suffle through tons of magazines looking for something in particular. I have done this. I still want to evidentally organize them by catogory but it is at least its all together and magzines are not jammed anywhere or floating all over the place.
I was expecting MUCH worse. I was almost afraid to scroll down and see. I'm glad I did, since my imagination would have run amuck.
I think you must be my twin and we were seperated at birth. I too am a scatterbrained (can't seem to remember squat)germaphobic procrastinator. I have a cat hairball on my basement floor that has been there -no lie- more than a month. I never think about it until I am walking by hands full of laundry. I think, I need to get that and then totally forget about it. They are easier to clean up after they dry but it is well past dry by now. How can I be so freaked out by germs but live in total chaos? I'm not sure.
I am so impressed that you were mopping. My kitchen floor is *so* in need. I was wondering if anyone has used the newer steam mops with any success?
I would consider myself "normal", and I think you do to, but I must say, things like this happen to me all the time too. It's not a bug (but it very well could be), but a soccer ball on top of my roof. Who actually thinks to get the soccer ball down (which I wouldn't even attempt, thus I have to wait for my hubby) until we're at practice and everyone has a ball but my children. Remembering to ask hubby to do something is difficult for all of us to remember, unless, of course, it's staring us right in the face.
Next time you find a bug do what I do… use the vacuum hose to get it. Then it goes into the canister thing that you can just dump in the trash can outside! Hey, for me it's better than actually touching it. I've actually done it with alive bugs too.
When I had my first apartment, my parents gave me a tool kit. The first time I cracked it open was after the bug man came. I used the needle-nosed pliers to pick up the deceased and drop them in the toilet for a burial at sea. Then I used a bleach wipe on the tool.
HAHAHA – I am new to your blog and loving it!! thanks for your humor and honesty!! I have to share my bug-o-phobia story with you. Rather recently my hubby – the almighty bug killer/picker-upper – was out of town for a week – A WEEK!! Right after he left my daughters and I saw the largest spider we had ever seen and it was in our dining room, as in in the house we must sleep in at some point. We did what any sane bug-o-phobes do. We trapped it under a clear disposable cup so that we could see that it was still in there. And then we duct taped the cup to the floor until our mighty bug killer/picker-upper returned home – 6 days later. And in case you were wondering, yes spiders can live duct taped to the floor in a cup for 6 days.
Love it!
I am loving your blog!!! Just found it and can’t stop reading back through the old posts. My husband cannot figure out how I can be a germ freak, but not notice dust, be totally disorganized, etc.,…well, it’s so good to know other people get it! I’m cheering you on – you give me hope! : )
Welcome, Chris! I know, it’s one of those things I assumed was just me!
I am procrastinating and reading your blog. I just thought you should know.
Also, I am laughing at this story. I am not sure what that means about me….
Finally, I don’t care what bummer people try to tell you…you ARE funny. I just watched your 1st webisode, or vlog, or whatever, and was cracking up!!
Thanks for sharing so openly:o)
Well…..I wouldn’t have done that with a bug but, in all honesty, just this week I did it with a little pile of “dirty” receipts I didn’t want to put in the receipt box until I already had dirty hands and was going to wash them anyway. But, of course, I “didn’t remember” for more than a day…. 😛 So, we walked around them till I finally got it done. 🙂
Btw, I’ve found dead scorpions in a mug and in one of my muffin pans. Ugh, ugh, ugh!!!
Oh….correction – the one in the mug was still kind alive. I think I left that one for my husband to dispatch when he got home! I try to remember to grab mugs on the outside or by the handle now!
You are not alone. If I could ignore I would. I was going to post a link to an article on huntsman spiders. I live alone and they scare me, particularly when they are the size of your hand, inside, and just above your front door. A lot of bug spray and little sleep resulted. They are actually one of the few non poisonous spiders. I decided on this link instead, as less nightmare inducing. Oh, I had a huntsman run across the inside of my windscreen once. I was impressed I didn’t crash the car. They live in trees, don’t spin webs, and sometimes wander from the trees if you park under them. http://www.themarysue.com/australia-spider-ban/
I will admit that our house rule won’t work as well for this insect…
Most of the time, though, “If you kill it, you are responsible for corpse disposal!” is pretty handy.