You Know What Happens When You Assume?

Why I need to depend on cleaning routines instead of my own assumptions. at

A friend in college would often quote his grandma on this one.

I’m going to crypticize the statement since I’m a prude.

“You know what happens when you assume? You make a first-three-letters-of-assume out of u and me.”

Assuming gets nobody anywhere.

And usually causes trouble.

A big part of this deslobification process for me has been accepting that assuming I know when it’s time to clean (or more often, when it’s NOT time to clean) only gets me into trouble. Routines help me fight my assumptions and keep our house away from Disaster Status.

Like Laundry Day today.

Last week was Wed Wibbon Week, ugh . . . Red Ribbon Week.  (Seriously. Try to say that ten times in a row.)

As the kids all had various anti-drug programs at school, they also had fun dress-up days.

Dress up days mean evenings spent scrambling to find team shirts and mornings spent frantically searching for that other cowboy boot.

They also mean uniforms which were washed last Monday (last Laundry Day) didn’t get worn. Which means they’re all clean. Which means I assume . . . I could get away without doing laundry today.

I assume that if a week’s worth of school clothing is already hanging in closets, ready to wear, we could probably scrounge around and find enough socks and undies to make it for the next seven days.

But I know how wrong these assumptions always are. Just look at how I roll with doing the dishes.

So last night, we sorted laundry like we do every Sunday night. And lo and behold, there were six loads of clothes and towels that need to be washed. Which is pretty much the same amount of laundry we do every week.

Which does make sense, since there wasn’t even one Go N*ked themed day last week.

So doing the laundry today (it’s 9:47 a.m. and the third load is in the washing machine) means I won’t have TWO weeks worth of laundry to do next Monday, which I ASSUME would make me want to crawl back into bed and cry myself to sleep.

And there’s the added bonus of knowing (not just assuming) everyone will have clean undies every single day.

Yay for that.


A Laundry Day Bonus Feature

I know. I’ve been yakking about laundry all week.

(Sometimes that happens, y’all.)

I just get excited when puzzle pieces unexpectedly fit because a routine is working.

Puzzle pieces like this towel that I used as a knee-saver when I was cleaning that horrendous spot on the playroom floor last weekend:

One of Laundry Day's Bonus Features at

Pre-Laundry Day, I would have been overwhelmed by the thought of that towel and all the grossness it had touched. I’d have wanted to wash it, but would have been paralyzed by the fact that it was just ONE thing on the never-ending list of things that needed to be laundered.

I would have questioned the justification of washing IT when we were standing way too close to the edge of Undieless Cliff.

And most likely, the washing machine wouldn’t be available anyway since I’d need to re-wash whatever was in it.

But the washing machine was empty. And I felt no pressure to wash anything else first since it wasn’t Laundry Day.

I did throw in a few other dark towels, and that load put me AHEAD on laundry instead of behind.

Go me!!



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The New Laundry Basket Delusion

Will a New Laundry Basket Solve All My Problems at ASlobComesClean

As I took a photo for yesterday’s post, I re-noticed my oddly shaped laundry basket and laughed.

It’s a special laundry basket.

A Rectangular Laundry Basket that I Thought Would Solve My Laundry Problems at

It’s rectangular and just the right size and shape to be able to fit TWO on top of my dryer without wasting any space.

My mom bought it (and another just like it) for me about ten years ago.

I’m sure she experienced hopeful glimmers in the depths of her soul when she saw these uniquely-shaped laundry baskets.

Maybe . . . . maybe?? . . . my struggles-with-housekeeping-like-no-one-I’ve-ever-known daughter will finally get her laundry area under control with these baskets.


Now let me be clear that I’m not dissing my mama in this post. She’s awesome. And helpful. And accepting.


She was trying to help.

When she bought me these laundry baskets, I had no laundry room. Our washer and dryer were basically in the kitchen.

There was a door to the garage, a walkway with the washer and dryer on either side facing each other, and another door-frame-with-no-door going into the kitchen.

(I didn’t take pictures of my laundry “room” back then. Sorry.)

Anyway, an “open kitchen” that included a doorless laundry area was a bad combination for this Future Slob Blogger.

But my dear mama thought two laundry baskets that fit easily on top of my dryer might be the solution.

I thought so too! It makes so much sense!!

Strangely, though, it didn’t work. At all.

So what finally helped? A laundry routine. And that laundry routine, ironically, doesn’t involve laundry baskets of any shape.

Just another example of how my belief that I just needed to find the right PRODUCT to help me get my home under control was wrong. I needed to create the right routine.



I’m excited to speak at this upcoming online conference! There are HUGE benefits to pre-registering. Go here for information!




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