If you’ve been here since the beginning, or even the beginningish, you might remember that I used to have young kids. My oldest was 7 when I started this deslobification journey.
Now, instead of reminding him to pick up his toys, I remind him to shave.
And we’re deciding which colleges to visit.
And figuring out when to visit them.
Like, it’s not a vague and distant thought that we’ll need to visit colleges someday.
As we’ve been exploring some of his top options, I’ve noticed something.
When you use a college’s website to schedule a campus visit, you enter your t-shirt size.
This struck me because I specifically remember that one of the peripheral deciding factors when I chose my own college was a t-shirt.
A totally free t-shirt.
A totally free t-shirt with the college’s name on it.
I say it was a peripheral factor because it wasn’t the real reason I chose to attend (and spend a good chunk of my parents’ money) there, but I felt influenced by that t-shirt.
If there are two equal choices in schools, why not go to the one where you’re ready to show up on the first day, decked out in school spirit?
Consequently, I kept that unflattering t-shirt from the late 1900s for a very long time. How in the world could I let go of the fabric that determined the course of my life?? Who cares if I collected more and better t-shirts that I actually wore??
When I saw the option to select an XL t-shirt for my son on the first college’s website, I felt a little twinge in my mama heart, wondering if a free t-shirt might influence him the way it had influenced me.
When I saw the option on the second and third websites, the twinge of nostalgia became a headtilt of skepticism.
Wait a minute.
I do not think this means what I think it means.
Anymore.
Twenty-something years later, a free t-shirt is standard issue from anyone looking to lock in your loyalty.
Love our church? Here’s a t-shirt. Enjoy our restaurant? Take a billboard to wear around town with your yoga pants. Heading to the ballpark with a group of semi-strangers for a one day tournament? Let’s all match!
I honestly struggle to not experience a thrill when someone hands me a stretchy handful of free, wordy cotton.
But the fact that I’ve decluttered trunks full of free t-shirts over the years has given me the strength I need to win that struggle.
To even, sometimes . . . politely refuse the t-shirt.
Sometimes.
Thinking about freebie t-shirts made me consider what other things I might be holding onto, assuming they are sentimental because they would have been sentimental a few decades ago.
In this century, almost anything can be stamped with a very specific memory.
While a Valentine’s Day card with someone’s face on it required a special brand of magic (or a personal relationship with a graphic artist) back in the 80s, my kid could make individualized photo cards for each person in her class.
In an hour.
If the memory itself is special, great. The item might deserve space in my t-shirt/photo drawer/”contain”er.
But if the only thing making this item special is the fact that someone with a screen printing machine manufactured a memory, I’ve got to be willing to let it go.
No matter how special it would have seemed back in 1996, I need my 2018 home to stay under control.
A few clarifications for readers outside the U.S.:
(Because I have issues and feel the need to clarify things I’m sure people don’t actually need clarified.)
Here in the U.S., most people refer to universities as colleges. I’m not sure why. So “Where did you go to college?” generally means “Where did you attend university?” But for some reason, if I personally asked the question the second way, I’d feel pretentious. And people might say, “Huh?” But I know that technically, “university” is correct so I end up over-explaining in blog posts.
As long as I’m clarifying things, can I ask what you’d say instead of “yoga pants”? I know “pants” is an awkward word that causes misunderstandings among different varieties of English speakers, so I’m curious. Are yoga trousers a thing?
Trunk = boot of your car.
Lol at the clarifications. I’m British so do appreciate them 🙂
I don’t know about yoga pants, I’ve often wondered what people mean when they say that. Are they what we would call “tracksuit bottoms”? Or are they leggings?
Oh, I think tracksuit bottoms is probably it! They are like leggings but a little flared/not-tight from the knees to the ankles.
We call tracksuit pants trackydaks.
Instead of university, maybe try uni. It’s a little more casual.
It always makes me laugh when Americans talk about putting their keys and cell in their fanny pack. Fanny has a whole other meaning in Australia.
“Uni” is not common in the U.S. either, and might be met with more confusion than “university.”
Fanny packs are very out of style now. I do know 2 people who use them, and they’re both from an older generation (and one is a bit socially awkward).
My idea of tracksuit pants is a looser pant all over that’s not knit, unlike yoga pants, which are knit, snug, and tend to have a lower waist.
(I’m from the U.S.)
Fanny packs are actually back in style for some unknown reason. I do think you have to be young enough to not remember them from before to wear them and be considered in style.
Ha, yeah, I have donated dozens of shirts from technical conferences, vendors at expos, all kinds of events, as part of decluttering. Now I have a policy: I’ll take the shirt if I actually went to the event, or use the product/service (or at least am seriously interested in trying it), or like the shirt for some other reason. That cuts it down by about 2/3.
LOL….I recently donated T-shirts given to me during my career, from now defunct IT companies.
They just kept them coming and since I procured IT software and hardware, I never felt quite proper wearing them. Then I thought, cut them up for cleaning rags, but I couldn’t do it, so they were donated for someone who might be nostalgic!
Just love you and your TOTALLY get your sense of wicked humor!
I’m English and I’d say tracksuit bottoms are definitely the closest. I live in Canada and have terminology problems, especially with cars, hair things, underwear and ‘fanny packs’.
Really enjoyed this post, I know where you’re coming from. Do you, or did you, also have problems with all the plastic stuff that slips into the house via children?
She had at least one blog post about cleaning out all of the plastic “memorabilia” cups, etc. It led to me getting rid of all mine, so it was great! Though I kept one mug plastered with radio stations from somewhere I’ve never been…someone left it on my desk and never came back. It is the greatest lidded insulated mug! And I have a set of souvenir glasses from the Spaghetti Factory, but they are glass, and the perfect size and shape, so they are used a lot. But at least now I know that I have them because I really, really like them, and with all the junky stuff I got rid of, I have enough cupboard space to keep them….
When I found this blog, I went back to the very beginning and read every single post. All of her “lightbulb moments” gave me some of my own, and really helped the decluttering process.
She had at least one blog post about cleaning out all of the plastic “memorabilia” cups, etc. It led to me getting rid of all mine, so it was great! Though I kept one mug plastered with radio stations from somewhere I’ve never been…someone left it on my desk and never came back. It is the greatest lidded insulated mug! And I have a set of souvenir glasses from the Spaghetti Factory, but they are glass, and the perfect size and shape, so they are used a lot. But at least now I know that I have them because I really, really like them, and with all the junky stuff I got rid of, I have enough cupboard space to keep them….
When I found this blog, I went back to the very beginning and read every single post. All of her “lightbulb moments” gave me some of my own, and really helped the decluttering process. And as time has gone by, getting rid of stuff has gotten much less agonizing! (“I should keep that underwater basketweaving kit from 1973–I might decide I want to try it! someone might need it someday! It might be a collector’s item and worth hundreds of dollars someday!)
Right, i have to weigh in on the yoga pants thing because i think they are a whole category of their own. I’m English and when I think of tracksuit ‘bottoms’ (also referred to as ‘trackies) in the North of England), I think of the thicker ones with the gathered elasticated part at the bottom of the legs. Yoga pants seem to be more of a thing that people wear out and about when shopping etc? Oh and worn by fully made up women with perfect hair who put videos of themselves on youtube ‘cleaning’ homes that are already spotless! As you can see,I have thought about this far too much. Lol.
Oh the free stuff really bothers me! I personally don’t like to see “ads” throughout our home (like on coffee cups) or on my people, but I do understand the sentimental college stuff as an exception.
I am commenting today because I got your decluttering book and it seems to be the first thing that really works for me! That Question #2!!! (“Would you know you had this if you needed it?”) I was skeptical at first, but it is like a miracle for me, really. When I answer no to that question, and the item is also expired (like cosmetics/lotions, etc.) it is just a no-brainer now to throw it out and not worry that I might use it.
I am finally commenting today because I am about to leave the house with a single bag that I almost donated but thought, “Maybe I will sell these items.” The bag has been by my front door for more than a year. It is going directly to the charity/thrift store today.
Thank you for writing your books and this blog. Your way of thinking is really helping me and so many others.
Just for a giggle from Australia – we would more likely call them leggings than ‘tracksuit bottoms’ because tracksuit bottoms are fleecy lined and have a gathered elastic part at the ankles, as Maria pointed out. But in the great land down under, we also don’t call them ‘tracksuit bottoms’. They’re ‘trackie dacks’, in the spirit of McDonalds being ‘Maccas’ and a service stations being a ‘servo’.
Free Tees are immediately tossed in the donation bin almost always. The exceptions are when they are clearly marked with the word “volunteer” and come from an organization I support with my passion, time, and money. After the event is over, they are worn only for household and barn chores or for painting.
Personally, I’d go with yoga pants because neither yoga trousers or yoga bottoms sound right at all. I agree tracksuit bottoms are thicker fleece trousers and leggings are closer fitting. It’s a conundrum we Brits could contemplate for hours! It might possibly have been Oscar Wilde or possibly GB Shaw who said something like Britain and America, two nations divided by one language. But on the whole, the differences are quite entertaining!
Utterly minor point for sure, but to me it sounds like tracksuit bottoms would be also called sweat pants or sweats in the US (material like a sweat shirt, fleecy inside, thicker than yoga pants, which are more like leggings, thinner than sweats, and sometimes shorter, like capris (is that a thing elsewhere? I don’t like the mid-calf look personally)). Working on using so many great decluttering tips!
Hi! And thanks for your clear eyed approach to housekeeping. I am listening to several magically competent women clean my house right now — l hit 66 and decided that rather than doing the grunt work myself, I’d pay and tip generously — and I’m truly grateful to be able to do so. The decluttering l manage on my own! 😊
Now … about colleges v. universities in the USA.
At a university, there will be colleges within the school — college of arts, of science, whatever. And to be designated as a university, the institution must award Doctorate degrees–PhDs. Colleges are often smaller than universities, often have a narrower focus, and do not award PhD or other doctorates, although they may award Masters.
In practice, undergraduate degrees can be earned at either universities or colleges. Personally, l think colleges, which tend to be more teaching-oriented than are research-driven universities, may give a better undergraduate experience.
I hope your son walks onto a campus and falls in love. What a stress free way of choosing. One of our daughters did that — in fact, she refused to apply anywhere else. So easy! Our other daughter could not choose — and the amount of senior year spent in crying –well– very unnerving! However, she went with the best financial deal, loved it, went on to get a doctorate, and is a professor at a fine university in Texas.
Trust it will work out!
As for the U.K. — l think their “colleges” are more like our prep-school high schools. But — I’m too lazy to Google it. Heck. I’m too lazy to wash my own kitchen floor.
This post is one of the MANY reasons I love you and your blog. I can so easily relate on issues like clarifying things for people. Who more than likely do not need them clarified!
Track suit bottoms makes me think of some old lady wearing a velour tracksuit hahaha ( guess that shows MY age lol)
So many free or promotional t-shirts. I remember being irritated at my mom for doing a credit card application at the state fair just to get the free t-shirt because I didn’t want to stand around. She got the shirt and I remembered her putting the free shirt above our fun (it seriously cut into our fun time by like 20 minutes!) each time she wore it.
That aside, I recently decluttered an I’ll-fitting tee from a 5K I did because it was I’ll fitting and it seemed odd to keep a race shirt that accented my fat belly.
Yes! I’ve gotten quite good at refusing free things. Or if the free things are unrefusable (because whoever’s handing them out will not take no for an answer), I take it and immediately put it in my donatable donate box.
We must have toured the wrong schools, because never once did they ask for a T-shirt size, nor did they give us free t-shirts (the school in which my kiddo enrolled did give him a free t-shirt for the incoming class picture, so they’d all match, but that was after he had already shelled out mucho dollars for tuition and fees, so not *actually* free).
Also, I have to say: college and university are not the same. A college offers only undergraduate degrees. A university also offers graduate degrees. I prefer “where did you go to school?” because that covers college, university, or even high school.
I don’t think that ‘school’ would work outside the US – in the UK, you’d get an answer which most likely stopped at age 16. Some people here do use college to mean university, largely dependent on where they attended, but to me personally college was where I went from 16-18.
Yoga pants here in the UK are known as yoga pants too, but inexplicably both sides of the Atlantic now seem to be applying the same term to what I would call leggings.
I encountered this yesterday! I attended a training course and won a “door prize” for a certain part of the class. The prize table contained a bunch of t shirts from my organization. I grabbed one and the later on, as I thought of my progress with clothing, put the shirt back. Victory!
I had an eye-opener when I went to Goodwill or Salvation Army thrift stores and came across all those personalized t-shirts for things like walk-a-thons, baseball teams, Vacation Bible School. Especially when they include the YEAR! I mean, WHO will want to purchase a shirt with something so completely irrelevant to them? And WHO wants to wear outdated shirts? Are they only then fit for the rag bag? Makes ya think!
I heard a fellow from Australia say that he shocked some young female visitor to his home when he asked her if she wanted to nurse his baby.
lol
To HIM it meant ‘hold or cuddle ‘ the baby.
To HER it meant ‘breast-feed’ !!!!!!
Too funny! Awkward Moment!
LOL, thanks for another great post. I’ve taken to just saying NO to many free tshirts (and string backpacks, and other random plastic crap). ESPECIALLY the ones labeled “unisex” size, which is just code for MEN’S sizing. That one really frost’s me. Let’s make “unisex” be women’s fitted sizing, and then have the men select a xxxxL size. But if that sizing scheme keeps more unworn shirts out of my house, then maybe it’s a good thing.
This is wonderful and so close to my heart. Which part? All of it. So brilliantly said Nony.
I loved my college but I’ve always been upset by one thing. The year ahead of me was given a tshirt. The year after me a mug. I complain that all I got was the love of my life and my fabulous in laws. They worked there and my husband attended there a year ahead of me. But no tshirt for me, no mug. I graduated 29 years ago and I’m still waiting for my admission freebie. Which is probably why I love all the free pens my eldest’s college gives me. Ha
My sister recently went through my father’s wardrobe to help him throw out what he doesn’t wear. In there was my college tshirt that I bought back in the Wham days of George Michael. Apparently dad had snagged it from me and never gave it back.
I am who I am in large part because of the love and generosity of my college and those who were there. I gained far more than a free tshirt and mug. I’ve been faithfully learning from you for years and years, but even so, I want my freebie! Lol
Imagine my surprise when I walked into a clothing store and the first rack I saw was labeled “Active Bottoms”! Of course it makes perfect sense – active wear has tops and bottoms. But with none of that in my mind at first, I got a very strange mental picture!
I wouldn’t worry about the translations of americanisms. We’re so immersed in US culture that everyone knows what college, pants and trunk mean. I only find it’s a problem the other way round. I’m British and I use British words. Some Americans don’t understand them.
Well well well. In New Zealand we know just what you mean by yoga pants. I have one pair that lives in two places: my wardrobe and the charity basket, turn about.