Well-used phrases like “the lesser of two evils” are well used for a reason.
They put into words a common human struggle.
Choosing between two evil (or even just unpleasant or irritating) things isn’t fun. But sometimes it happens. Neither choice in a situation makes me jump for joy.
But I have to choose.
Because that’s life.
Cleaning/decluttering/anything-to-do-with-home-management tends to fall under this phrase for me. I’m an idealist. In my head, I always have a clear picture of what should work in a given situation. Of how things should go.
And just like a kid who becomes irrational and decides they’d rather have no ice cream at all than have ice cream in the wrong kind of cone, I have to step back and realize that I do have to make a choice. Even a less-than-ideal one.
Because not making a decision at all is making a decision.
I’ve learned to make my decisions based on which decision moves me closer to my goal. My in-real-life goal.
An example?
I don’t love wasting time. So when I declutter, it feels most ideal to stick things in piles according to where they’ll go and then make one big trip through the house, putting everything away at once.
That would be a great choice if it ever actually played out that way in real life.
It’s an evil choice because it doesn’t play out that way. Pretty much ever.
I get distracted, step away for a few minutes (or hours or days) and the neat little piles morph into a bigger pile that’s no longer sorted and is outside the space I was initially decluttering.
And that’s the other evil I have to consider.
I don’t love/cannot stand redoing work I’ve already done.
And that’s what I’m doing when I have to re-sort what I’ve already sorted. I have to go back through my logical thinking and decision making (or even my two easy decluttering questions) for all of these items I’d already thought about and decided on.
I shouldn’t have to remake these decisions.
But I can’t have it both ways.
Either I walk individual things to their homes immediately (which is irritating) or I run a 99.9% risk of re-sorting previously sorted piles (which is maddening).
My choice is between irritating and maddening.
Two evils.
Irritating is the lesser of the two evils. Really. Because even though the first evil isn’t fun, it accomplishes something. I see real progress every time I walk to put something away (along with anything else that obviously needs to go to the same place). There’s less in the space I’m decluttering every time I take one of those walks.
Irritating things that produce progress end up being less irritating the more often I do them and the more often I experience success.
Maddening is the greater of the two evils. Really.
Formerly well-thought-out piles teetering and toppling and un-piling themselves is maddening because I have to redo my work. Which is the opposite of progress. And honestly, redoing it the same way means there’s a 99.9% chance that the same thing (me getting distracted and having to re-re-sort) will happen again.
That might just send me over the edge.
My point is that decluttering may never be fun or easy for people like me, but there are ways to make progress. And progress feels good.
If “taking things where they go immediately” makes no sense to you, read How to Declutter Without Making a Bigger Mess.
“Because not making a decision at all is making a decision”. Amen. Mind blown. Mind understanding!
Well, I guess you could think of all those walks as exercise!
Exactly, a win for decluttering and a win for getting more steps in!
We just LOVE you, Dana!! This post is pure brilliance! Oh, how many times I’ve found myself in the “maddening” situation you described… 😳😩 Time to make better decisions!!
You’ve written about this a bunch before… and I need to continue to hear it bc I’m still struggling. (And I’ve been around here since almost the beginning!!) Always a work in progress. Thanks, Dana!
Little nuggets of truth! I hate to redo something!
Hello, Lynetta,
I remember you from “the old days”! I’ve been following Dana since about 3 months after she began this trek. Maybe slog is a better word? I’m her mother. I’ve learned a lot too. Thanks, Dana. LUVU
Peggy, I was delighted to see a comment from you! I hope someday on Dana’s podcast that she interviews you! Today I am very emotional because it would have been my mom’s birthday. I have missed her so very much these past three and a half years. She was a lot like you so I see why Dana loves you so much!
I have found one exception for myself to this rule. I love this rule btw.
When I’m folding laundry I get up a lot to put it right away. Sometimes when I’m on point even taking the basket from room to room, folding and immediately putting away, mainly to combat a two year olds destruction skills.
However lately I have been changing seasons with clothes and found a new strategy. Maybe just for me, but I have 3 girls. I have 5 grocery bags like walmart bags in my closet I pull them out when doing laundry.
One is for donation, one is for changing seasons so right now winter clothes and three are for a size that is too big for each girl for next year. So after each folding session I take the donate bag to my donate box and when full the other bags go in my storage room, but it has made laundry sorting so much easier and I actually have gotten down to one weeks worth of clothes in their drawers!! My kids were asking for clean clothes by Friday. I politely instructed them to wear one pair a day and stop wasting lol.
I have one extra pair so they wore extra a lot.
If you had told me this in person I would’ve given you a hug!! This is the exact solution I needed for my laundry mountain of anxiety!!!
God bless 😊
On kids and underwear. I would have more than one spare for those times when kids don’t wipe as well as they think they did and discover it next time they use the bathroom. Well, that can happen to anyone, any age.
This is SO good! This really clicked with me when I thought of the DECADES of piles that I “left for later” that grew and exploded and became humongous disasters! No more piles!!!! Yippeeeee!!! I tell everyone about you, whether they seem like a slob or not LOL
Resorting the pile that you already sorted–been there! Definitely the greater evil.
Hi thank you for your wonderful sharing of your real life.
Blyth- I agree totally. Always got to have clothing donate box and a place to store out of season clothes. I don’t think that’s an exception to the rule- that’s “taking it there now” because that’s where the items belong! Great job!
First, Dana, I want to say that you are the first person I have ever heard that I feel totally understands me. I have been a successful woman organizing all kinds of things in the community, school, and church. People call me a leader, but I could never keep my house under control, and I did compare myself to other women who had organize homes, and I always felt like a failure in this category. I felt judged by my own mother. I have listen to your books over and over again on CD. I listen to all your podcasts. I read all your posts. You feel like a best friend to me!
I have never heard you mention the following:
When I wear my Fitbit, I don’t mind taking things where they go right away. Although I do look around to see if there’s anything else I can take to the same spot, I walk swiftly through my house maybe even slowly jog! I get excited when I hit 10,000 steps in a day! If you look at it as decluttering AND exercise, you really are killing two birds with one stone instead of wasting time when you take things to their home right away!
This! Yes! I get my exercise walking around my house and have a fitbit that counts the steps too. I have too many health issues to walk outside or get to a gym. I figure this kills two birds with one stone. Man thats a horrible saying isnt it? But I guess if in those days a bird was all you had to eat then you probably would want two. I do the same thing with piles, in fact I did the no-no again and cleaned out my closet. I now have a pile of stuff that I need to try on and a pile I need to remove hangers and bag up. We’ll see how long that mess sits in an otherwise fairly sorted bedroom sigh. I feel like I’ll never get this right, but I can get better.
How about “feeding two birds wih one hand” ? 🙂
I always have my FitBit on … that way I am getting both steps and stairs when I take things where they belong, right away. Makes it even less of a decision!!
I got off the plan this week and now I’m sorry for it. I buy a plastic file box every year for my files so I have a closet stacked to the ceiling with plastic boxes. I also taught my daughter to use the plastic file boxes. She stores them at my house because she lives out of the country most of the time. So I have a lot of boxes.
I should have been emptying the oldest every year but I didn’t so now my closet, the container, is overflowing. I had to take all the file boxes out to sort them by year so I knew which ones I could get rid of. Now I have a room and a hallway full of plastic file boxes! It took me all day to drag them out and it will take me the rest of the week to put them back!
Lydia V., I was about to leave the same comment! I feel less much bothered putting things away if I feel like I’m getting some steps.
I’m not a hoarder but this is me. I can make a pile and step over it for months. Pretty soon it becomes part of the floor.
Blythe, I really like your idea, too. All those extra clothes always end up on the floor and then we gotta wonder if they’d been washed or not and have to start the whole cycle over again. I have several children, so it’s hard to keep up with outdated clothing.
Dana, I’m sitting in my project room and already I’ve got “Which Decision Moves Me Closer To My Goal?” hanging up on my bulletin board above my desk. This is a great focus tool for me. Thanks! I didn’t even wait to finish reading the whole article. lol Of course, NOW I did. 😉
As someone above wrote…when I take it there right away, I am getting more steps on my Fitbit. AND I am making progress. Both of those things help to outweigh any other decisions…and at the end of it, I have double satisfaction! I agree, it is counter-intuitive, but IT WORKS!
The Take It There Now rule changed EVERYTHING for me. Not just in decluttering, but also how I work. Combining it with the Cluttering idea to make it easier to put away than leaving it out, even my “creative” messes aren’t as bad. The ONE thing that has changed a daily vexation is that I wear a mouth guard when I sleep. I used get in my bed, all settled in for the night and forget my mouth guard. Now I take it to my night stand right after I brush my teeth, while I am waiting for the kettle to boil for tea. Honestly, just that little change has had an “atomic” effect. THANK YOU, Dana!!!
*CLUTTERBUG idea! Not “Cluttering.” Autocorrect. Hehhhhh 🙂
To Dana, Even if I’m not in a project in the moment, keeping your talks in awareness causes change in my background thinking. I find I do more mini-tasks, more spot cleaning. I am making progress in nibbling away it things, and I don’t get overwhelmed by success. I’ve learned that it’s ok, slow progress. For me sudden glaring success is overwhelming, causing repercussions of lapsing into recluttering. Your ways help with decluttering, but more, they help with healing.
Yes, the lapsing into recluttering!
And, if I do it, HE does it, too! Then we have a double mess!
The Take It There Now rule is a lot like the OHIO rule (only handle it once) and I’ve been using that one successfully at work for years. I will work harder to follow the Take It There Now rule at home since ultimately it will move me step by step closer to my goal. Thanks Dana, it always amazes me how well you know how my mind works!