My first decluttering question is: If I was looking for this item, where would I look for it first?
Would. Not should.
No decisions need to be made. No analysis of the very best home for this particular thing.
The home is where I would look first.
The best thing about this question is that I can use it on my family members if it’s an item that belongs to someone other than me. I had to explain what I was looking for the first few times I asked them this question, but now they mostly know what I want in an answer.
Mostly.
Sometimes, they still get smart-alecky.
Like this jacket.
I’d cleared the table in five minutes, but then noticed the jacket. It’s Hubby’s, so I asked him, “Where would you look first for this jacket?”
His answer: Ummm. On that chair?
I made a face. I rolled my eyes.
I gave the look.
And I said, “Other than there.”
He sighed, and said he’d look for it in the coat closet.
So I took it to the coat closet.
This scenario is actually one that I get emails about frequently. “What if the place where I’d look first is a really bad place? A place out in the open where it obviously shouldn’t be?”
I get it.
Many times, pre-deslobification process, I assured random people that I needed my stuff to be “out where I could see it.” I called this my crazy-but-it-works-for-me organizational system.
Which would have been fine, except it wasn’t fine.
My house was actually a disaster. A total disaster.
The super important things I thought I needed to be able to “see” mixed in with totally unimportant things until I couldn’t see a thing because all I saw was an overwhelming mess.
And I just like my house so much better when there aren’t jackets hanging on the backs of chairs.
So I responded: Other than there.
Because that’s the truth. Even though I might look for something first in the place where I tend to throw it first, that doesn’t count if it’s a place where I’d never leave it when I’m cleaning up that space.
So maybe my question could have been to him: Where would you look first if you weren’t being sassy?
Actually, I think that WAS how I put it the second time.
--Nony
I’m wondering why YOU placed the jacket in the coat closet? Especially since your husband was probably close by and knew that’s where he/you would look for it, if it wasn’t on the chair.
Neither my husband nor I view cleaning up as a power struggle. I was cleaning in that room. Just like I would bristle if he was working on an area and asked me to stop what I was doing elsewhere to put away an item he was holding in his hands (as one would do with a toddler), he would bristle as well. That’s not how we treat one another.
Love this.
Love this. This is the way a great marriage works!
I did it! I caught up on the blog! I’m so thankful to have found you and discovered I’m not alone. It’s also ironic to have caught up on this post because I would have had the same “sassy” answer as hubby did. Lol Thank you Dana. I have hope.
Dana, I love your blog. In fact I just finished your book. I laughed, I cried, I cheered. I learned so much about keeping a presentable house. The biggest shocker to me was the realization you just have to Do It, it won’t miraculously get done. Second was the concept of a container. I just started reading your blog for the second time, thanks for being an inspiration! Oh, and you’re funny too.
Oh I love hearing this! Did you leave a review of the book? Reviews help so much in getting the word out!
I haven’t yet, but I will 🙂
I love how you simplify it all. It really does give me hope!
Thank you!
This made me giggle so much. I so get this.
Today I was cleaning out a basket of random homeschool items and I found all the erasers. I’ve been looking all over for those things. (I have a couple of kids who want all their schoolwork to be just right, so erasers are a big deal). I realized I’d put the erasers in the basket thinking I’d look for them there. Umm, no. Not working for me. I keep pencils and pens in mason jars on the shelf. I found a small mason jar and filled it with erasers and put it with the pencil jar. BOOM! A place I’ll actually think to look and it’s nice and tidy!!
Dana
I am already practicing this because we are about to move into a new and I have already assigned places for things and if necessary I will buy two of those items so I can reduce the number of times I hear “Where is the (whatever it is my husband is looking for)”. Thank you for doing what you are doing. It has given me hope and changed my life and my home…clean kitchen for over a year after reading 28 days..!!!!! Still reading your book, its taking me a little longer since we had our 2 child in Dec but loving it so far!
Sending thoughts and prayers to Texas during Hurricane Harvey. I lived in Houston for 3 years and was there for Hurricane Alicia. Houston floods in just normal afternoon rains. Ughhhh!
It is now 6 weeks since I bought your book. Your “method” might be the only one to work for me. So far, so good – I’ve only had one night that I didn’t do the dishes after dinner. It has been amazing. So grateful.
LOL at this post as I’ve had the exact same thought! “My bedroom dresser is not the first place I should look for a roll of duct tape”. 🙂
I’ve started listening to the podcasts though I’ve read the blog on and off for a while. Here’s one of my struggles. I am diagnosed with ADHD. It has it’s good and bad. I like the fact that I can see 11 sides to everything. The problem with putting things in it’s place for me is that I CAN see 11 sides to everything. Like filing things, unless an external force lays out exact criteria, I find myself paralyzed trying to figure out which file it goes in. Big stuff, I get, but it’s the little stuff that I can see going in 100 different places. Today it might make the best sense to put it in one place but two days from now it could look like clutter in that place and make more sense elsewhere. Maybe I’m just weird, but it’s a struggle for me.
What I tell my husband when he leaves stuff laying around is that it’s not nearly as decorative as he thinks it is.
I needed this today!! Thanks so much for Facebooking it!
About the jacket, if I’m doing something constructive and my brother, who lives with me, is playing on FB or reading or whatever, I just comment – “Hey – I want to wash the kitchen cabinets and counters off. Can you take these newspapers egg cartons, milk jug and plastic muffin box out to the recycle bin?” He always says yes and it’s gotten him to pay attention to what’s just laying around. Now, I don’t think he’ll get rid of the power and manual tools that are all over the islands…he has declined to put them away because he needs to fix something on the deck (so tomorrow, hopefully a road trip to Home Depot will get the materials he needs)!
Dana, so thankful you re-posted this today — I am fairly new to your books, blog, videos, and course and am enjoying them so much.
I often am sassy to MYSELF when I ask “the questions.” Then I actually put my mind back on what I’m doing and find the questions work perfectly. I go there — the “container” is either full or it’s not — and I know what to do! Mind-blowing!
Who knew I could be full of thanks and even joy while de-cluttering? The other day we got a surprise call from the kids saying they and the littles were bringing pizza over, and no panic ensued.
Thank you a thousand times. Have a blessed day.
I’m getting in on this conversation late, but my kids think ‘where would you look for it first?’ is MAGIC.
My 9 year old needed to find the vacuum and I challenged him to close his eyes and just walk to where he would look first. BOOM. It was there.
This morning, I was looking for the clothes iron (for perler beads, not for actual ironing obviously!) in the 470 oh-so-logical places, and my PRESCHOOLER said, Where would I look? Opened up a cabinet door and there it was!
It’s amazing.
I haven’t taken the leap to ‘join the team’ on Patreon, but I’m a true believer.
I love this!
Hahaha! We owe you so much credit for our home being livable. Thank you for being such a JOY ❤️, and a seriously smart lady to figure this out and share your insights.
I sold something online the other day (for the first time), and you’re right, it’s not worth it to me either!