Sometimes I have the ability to see into the future. I see Future Me, deciding at the last minute to make mac ‘n cheese for dinner. (Because mac ‘n cheese is what I make at the last minute.)
Future Me is in a hurry. She’s a little frazzled. She grabs the box from the pantry and rushes to the stove. While she is trying to do a thousand other things, she grabs the box and starts to tear it open.
And then she stops (even though she does NOT have time to stop). She sees the partially-already-opened box and shakes her head, trying to remember if she already started to open it.
She knows she didn’t.
But maybe she did.
Oh how she despises these what-happened-three-minutes-ago-I-have-no-earthly-idea moments.
She probably did open it.
But what if she didn’t. What if some scary person opened it before she bought it and replaced the shells with, like, poison noodles???
She doesn’t want to be crazy.
But what if this is THE one time when her Brand of Crazy would save the lives of her entire family?
Being crazy or dying of pasta poisoning. It’s a tough decision for people like her.
But Now Me had mercy and spared Future Me all this weeknight drama. I opened it. Then I decided we were going to have something else. So I put it back in the pantry. But I wrote a note to Future Me right on the box.
No, you didn’t just open it five minutes ago. No, you are not the victim of attempted murder.
Just read the note, calm down, and feed that family.
Do you suffer from your own special Brand of Crazy??
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--Nony
That was hilarious ! I’d like to say this would never happen to me but let’s just say I’m planning to use your note writing technique to future me
Just had to say that this totally cracked me up. As I’ve gotten older (late 30’s…) I’ve discovered that I can’t remember what I did 10 minutes ago much less days, weeks, or even months ago!
Please tell me I am not the only one who walks to pantry with a purpose, but when I get there I can’t for the life of me remember why… Or I open the fridge to get something out, and what was I looking for again??? Drives me crazy. Especially with the 10 kid interruptions I have… I totally have to write EVERYTHING down if I can’t do it right this second or it will be long forgotten…
Ok, I’m a little freaked out right now, whether Future You is or not. I keep wondering if you and I shared the same brain at birth before being separated and sent to different homes. I think this post makes it official…
Oh my yes!
I should patent my own brand of crazy and sell it…
It’s that good. 😉
Oh my! I am sure we are related somehow. I do this same thing. Just the other day. I thought I go run me a bath. I walked in there and there was 1 inch of water on the floor-apparently I had already started a bath and didn’t even remember doing it. We vacuumed 15 gal of water out of the vent. Not to mention what was in the floor. The story of my life. 🙂
My brand of crazy won’t let me drink anything that has been left in a (locked) unattended vehicle. Even if it’s just for a minute. ‘Cause you know, someone could have poisoned it or spit in it while I ducked into the post office. Err on the side of (illogical) caution. That’s my motto.
And here I thought it was only me. Seeing your post and the response make me feel so much better. There is a lot of us that think , act, and react the same. Maybe we are normal and every one else is crazy? Something to think about. ..n
This was thee best post I’ve EVER read! I don’t know whether to be happy or sad that there are other people like me.
Oh honey, I love that so much! Pasta poisoning. It sounds utterly ridiculous when you say it out loud. And yet, you never know! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve opened a brand new cylindrical ice cream container and wondered, “wait, where is the plastic ring? Did I already tear it off and throw it away? It should be at the top of the can. But it’s not. Did it come off in the grocery bag in the process of transporting it home? Did I REALLY purchase an ice cream carton without that little confidence-inspiring piece of plastic? Once opening, I’ve checked for needle marks and figured it’s probably the best I can do. If I’m going to die of poisoning, at least I’ll die happy and full because… ice cream. Nom nom nom.
I can’t relate to your particular brand of crazy, but I do think about Future Me a lot. Like when I don’t want to clean up the dinner dishes. I think, “Future Me would really appreciate waking up to a clean kitchen.” I like to think of keeping up with chores as a gift to my future self, who is always very appreciative.
Great idea …sadly I think current me doesn’t care enough about future me to put in the effort most of the time! Looking at it that way though, I may be able to get current me to care about future husband \son/daughter…Whoever is most likely to benefit. I may just go and put something away now! Thank you
I have had this issue with peanut butter and my husband. I don’t ever know if he opened the jar or someone from the store is trying to poison me! Lol! So my solution was every time I buy a jar of peanut butter ( I do this with other things too) I open the top in the store to make sure the seal is not broken. So if at any time when I open one at home I know someone in my family opened it first if the seal is broken. Thank you for sharing I don’t feel so weird any more! Lol!
Yes! I have done something like this before too. Reading your blog is like a therapy session. It makes me feel better to know there are other people out there like me 🙂
Oh my word! I’ve had those very same thoughts! Ever since the Tylenol scare wayyyy back in what, the 80’s I think? And Present me thinks that Future me will remember. I shouldl know better by now. Thanks for the belly laugh today.
Hilarious!! This reminds me of a scenario that could play itself out in my house on any given day. Great minds think alike.
I was planning on copyrighting My Own Brand of Crazy. I had planned on banking on the fortune that would pour in to take my husband and I to the High Life in our Golden Years.
Thanks for ruining it, Nony 😉
Between having three different food safety certifications, interning at the health department, and having a selectively crappy immune system that puts me in the “immuno-compromised” category restaurants have to make sure they don’t get sick, I have an overdeveloped sense of food safety. I would totally be the person who wrote Future Me (or Future Hubby) a note so to avoid a panic attack over cooking! Also, I rarely ever take pills by myself. Anything in my pill-minder, fine, and anything that’s cough syrup or nasal spray is different enough I’ll remember taking it. But I’ve almost overdosed a couple times on pain pills just because I forgot I took one before my nap and I’m still in pain. Thank goodness they were just NSAIDs and not something more dangerous! My mister has to get them for me. Between the two of us, we WILL remember if I took something. But not to log it in my medication log. Nope, that never happens.
Now, 2 years later, I’m wondering why you put it back in the pantry and wrote a note on it. Are you ever going to serve that box of mac ‘n’ cheese? If you didn’t want to use it that night, why didn’t it get thrown right out????
I wondered about the putting it back as well.
I write “More” on bottles of condiments in the fridge after a restock trip to the store so that I know I don’t need to buy it again. = )