When I was a kid, I told people I was allergic to coconut.
I wasn’t.
Don’t worry. I’m appropriately remorseful now.
I just didn’t want to eat coconut and it was a great way to get people to stop pushing their macaroons on me.
Now, I really am allergic to chocolate. Really. It’s an allergy I developed in college, and my mother has the same allergy.
Chocolate legitimately makes me ill. I get “a cold” that turns into bronchitis and is bad enough that I’m totally fine with not eating it because I have no desire to be that miserable.
Maybe it’s because I’m already used to explaining an unusual allergy to random, well-meaning strangers, or maybe it’s the success of the faux coconut allergy from my childhood, but I had a strange and real and almost irrepressible urge to tell someone recently that I am allergic to paper.
I took my mother-in-law to an appointment, and the woman who checked her pacemaker was very kind. She was talkative and energetic and did an excellent job explaining everything about the device and upcoming replacement procedure.
And then, she scheduled our next appointment. Right there in the room. No need to get held up at the reception desk, just get it done right here right now.
I was impressed.
She asked if I wanted a card with the date on it. I laughed and said “No, thank you. I’ll put it in my phone right now.”
I honestly thought I said something about not wanting a piece of paper I’d lose anyway.
Out of an overabundance of thoroughness, she hit some keys on the computer and started talking about how great it is to have things printed out. On paper.
And then she handed me a slip of paper with the dates printed on it. The same dates I’d already put in my unloseable phone. My phone that doesn’t end up crumpled in a ball at the bottom of my purse or flying out the door of the Suburban when I pick up the kids from school on a windy day.
Yes. “I’m sorry! I’m allergic to paper . . . ” truly almost came out of my mouth.
I just don’t know that I could pull it off.
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--Nony
LOL! Yes, I’ve had those little chats with several people myself. People who have just watched me enter what’s on that piece of paper into the calendar on my phone (along with my “Hey–idiot! Get going, you need to be there in two hours!” reminder). They just don’t seem to know how to handle that. I try to be nice and not wad up and toss what they hand me into the trash right in front of them. If I had the energy for big crusades, though, it would be to get all the kids’ school stuff digitized. Think of the wonders that could be accomplished in this world if frazzled mommies didn’t have to spend hours every week searching for lost permission slips and order forms and report cards and project checklists and on and on and on. There’s something for my daughter (I don’t remember what, but we need it) that I decided yesterday by process of elimination must be buried on the floorboard of my car. And I think it’s on green paper. Crap, I hope it wasn’t due today.
Allergic. LOL…that’s great! I wish I could say that but it all boils down to the fact that I hate paper. If I ever manage to sort through everything I’ve managed to squeeze into a couple of under-the-bed storage bins, my cats will be very happy campers. I’m the only one who would be happy about clearing the six file drawers that probably have fifteen year old bills and canceled checks. And let’s not even talk about the stacks and stacks of index cards I use to make notes for everything. I need a secretary…
My phone’s battery swole all up and I had to take it in and exchange the phone because they couldn’t just replace the battery.
I asked the guy to transfer everything over to the new phone, which he kindly did.
Except he didn’t. He used the wrong account or something, but it’s all gone. My appointments, my photos, my games, everything.
I’d backed it all up on my computer. I was relieved when I remembered that.
But I can’t find the backup anywhere. The backup program can’t find it, and it was supposed to know where it went. But the backup program got wiped out too.
And searching the entire computer with the search program doesn’t find it.
I’ve been told it might have gotten overwritten when I tried to restore the backups.
Yup. Nothing like paper.
It disappears for days on end, but its my fault, or it’s buried on the kitchen table (my fault too), but there’s just something about it I like to keep around.
Whoops, the cat was helping and posted that.
Anyway, I was saved because I take those little cards from the doctor and dentist and vet and staple them to a real paper calendar. I put all that stuff and receipts and anything I’m going to want again in the front pocket of my purse, and clean it out usually once a week, or when it gets full, and staple things to the calendar then.
I just shredded a banker’s box full of paper. Love paper when it’s awesome books to read, loathe it when it’s loose bits of information. The admin at my dental office finally got it: I put the next appointment in my phone, she handed me the card, I looked at it, confirmed, and handed it back to her to ask her to put it into her recycle bin. I clarified that I was guaranteed to loose the appointment card, and unlikely to lose my phone. If I did lose my phone, at least my calendar was backed up.
I just read a book that doesn’t entirely work for my slob brain (the life-changing magic of tidying up, by Marie Kondo). One thing that did work for me though was ‘throw out all your paper, except for the things you MUST keep.’ (paraphrasing). I kept tax info, and that’s about it. feels great.
Back in the eighties I tested allergic to paper. I said to the nurse “I can get more handkerchiefs instead of using Kleenex, but what do I do about toilet paper?” and she said “Just stay away from the colored stuff and you’ll be all right.” I haven’t been retested for paper in recent decades, but it’s a Thing.
Unlosable phone??? I hope so.
We are all idealists here right? I have every intention of being a homeschool mom even though my “oldest” is currently only 13 months but I like to have a plan in place I here of other homeschool mom’s buying printers just to print out worksheets for busy work type projects and even laminators and see all these “amazing” printables. and I am over here scheming of how to do school paperless as possible. (without being all digital) I have an aqua doodle a megna doodle something called megnatab for tracing letters and numbers moveable letters when I can truster to not eat chalk I will do a chalk board. sadly as much as I hate dealling with paper work I actually injoy writing on it. but I am working on the habit and working on the habit of getting rid of the papers I write that I don’t need.