My 7yo daughter has been asking if we could PLEASE have a garage sale.
Pretty please?
Her reason? Garage sales are just so much more fun than donating.
She has fond memories of waking up on a Saturday morning and coming out to the garage to find all sorts of lovely people milling around and her mom and dad wheeling and dealing.
My memories are slightly different. I remember staying up late and getting up really, really early. Oh, and the weeks of prep before. And spending a chunk of the earned cash on takeout for dinner because Mama was exhausted.
Let me be clear that I’m not knocking garage sales. At all. There was a time in our financial lives when having a garage sale meant we could take a little (cheap) weekend trip that would have otherwise been impossible. Or buy Christmas presents.
And as a former fanatical eBay seller, I have complete respect for the work that goes into selling used stuff. It’s not easy, and is a legit way to earn money when you need it.
Because this was how I used to earn spending money for the family, it has taken me a long time to change my view of the value of stuff.
I now value a lack of stuff.
I value NOT having to figure out where to put something while waiting to sell it.
I value being able to walk across a room without doing fancy kicks or slides or contortions to get around whatever is there temporarily.
I value parking in the garage because I value NOT having to scrape ice off my windshield. Or warn kids to be careful that the hot metal part of the seatbelt doesn’t touch their skin.
I value not waiting to hear back from that person who said they would like to buy whatever I’m selling. I value not being disappointed when the second person who said they wanted it no longer wants it when I check again because the first person never emailed me back.
I value not re-posting that same item three months later, after having stubbed my toe on it sixty-eight times.
So when my best friend and I were shopping for my new chairs and she mentioned that she really needed a loveseat, I immediately offered mine. The one I’d need to get rid of to make room for my new chairs.
Yes, a few fleeting thoughts flew through my Slob Brain:
What if I could sell it?
What if I could find a spot for it somewhere else in the house??
What if I neeeeedddd a loveseat somewhere down the line???
Those thoughts and slight feelings of panic were real, but I’m thankful I pushed them down.
Because this feeling was a much better one:
Bye-bye loveseat. Go enjoy your new family.
Even in those years when I was a seller, I admired those people who were quick to give something away with no concern to what they might get for it or what they might do with it.
I so hope I’m turning into one of those people.
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--Nony
I am a daughter of a hoarder, and I soooo get this. It wasn’t until my mid-30’s I realized the value of ‘blank space’ in my home. (AKA – room to breathe / get around / enjoy)
I’m not brilliant at explaining it, but here’s what triggered it for me:
With me, it was a monetary argument that made it click: My home basically has 3 rooms to put things in (2 bedrooms and a great room). My home’s value is about 200k… that’s about 66K / room. Anything that’s stopping me from using and enjoying that room is therefore costing me a portion of that 66K. It’s rare that something stopping me from enjoying my space has that much of a monetary value.
Yes, I know there’s other arguments… but it helps me enjoy my home, so I’m sticking to it.
I LOVE this equation, Andree! Perfect way to look at things!
That’s BRILLIANT! Going to do the math right now.
I too have a ghost of a hoarder in my head. My Grama was a hoarder. As she was the most consistently present adult in my life, I have spent my life learning to live a different way.
Agreed.
A home makes an expensive storage unit.
Oh, a better way to say it is ‘I paid 66K to store what exactly???’
This is an amazing thought as well. I never thought about it that way… I feel like a lightbulb just came on!
Ouch! So glad I now this as a reference point. I, too, will go do the math.
What a unique and brilliant perspective 🙂 I think I need to do some figuring!
Looking at it from your perspective, Andree, some of us live in very expensive storage units, don’t we? 🙂
In some ways… yup! (and that is not a negative judgement thing…. It’s an I’ve been there, and know exactly how tough it is thing) For a long time, I had a minimum of one room that was completely un-usable. Heck, there were long chunks of time where I was lucky if I had one use-able room. I had an ah-hah! moment when I realized what I had paid for my ‘storage unit’, and compared it to the value of the stuff I kept in there ‘just in case’… and that was only if I could find whatever it was when I needed it.
I still struggle with the amount of ‘stuff’ in my life, this just helps me not be a slave to it.
Yes, exactly!
Looks like a math problem looming in my future. 🙂 Maybe I’ll get my husband to help. I wonder how much our garage is costing us to store all that junk?? 😛
I also just wondered how this would break down by the square foot. This could clarify the amount of furniture as well as just stuff. Hmmm…. Some furniture just doesn’t “perform” enough valuable service to warrant keeping it. I need to think about that.
Yes. This.
It needs to ‘pay its’ rent’ in order to stay.
What a great point! Never thought of it like that!!! But I will from now on, that’s for sure! Thank you!
I love this! I am slowly getting my mind to think like this too! It’s great. I’ve been trying to get rid/donate something everyday and I love the feeling after.
You’ve been super inspiring to me. Thank you!
I would just like to say a big Amen, girl!!! Give that stuff away. It will bless somebody!
I just cleared out the “donation spot” under my bedroom window. It had one gigantic black garbage bag, three white kitchen bags, and two grocery bags FULL of random clothes and things that I hadn’t gotten around to donating. I have a full ten square feet there that I didn’t have before and it’s insane what a huge difference it made in the room! Plus having empty floor space make me actually see all the dusty dirt in the corners and made me vacuum. Success!
I just don’t understand how you write me so well. 🙂
Okay! Getting off my duff and dealing with the accumulated piles of To Go Bags now! It’s been a looong winter here. 🙂
…then I can sew more flannel blankets for the babies due next month!
I love this! Hanging onto things is so hard. I’m stuck right now on being the fourth generation of antique furniture(from daughter, to daughter and so forth) that I’m struggling on what to do. Logically, I know I don’t have the space, formal living rooms are becoming a thing of the past, and do I really want to store these things for the next 20 years to “maybe” use them one day? Emotions are in the way because I just lost my mom last year. Any suggestions you or anyone else has would be wonderful.
That’s truly hard, Liz. Can you choose *one* piece that you can make room for that will serve you practically (maybe?) as well as be a sentimental treasure/reminder of those you love?
In other words, pick YOUR favorite — and let the rest go. -?- Hopefully you don’t love ALL of the heirlooms 🙂 Remember IT is still just stuff — It’s the people who you truly treasure, right?
Struggling with some of the same- although it’s just boxes of papers.. How do I pitch all the sweet crafts my children have made? How do I pitch all those cards from people I love who are now gone. Do I need their signature on a piece of cardstock to remind me that they loved us? Could I choose just ONE? Would photos of all those cards & crafts be enough (reduce the clutter to electronic images)?. How much am I spending in storage space to keep a paper trail of these relationships? I don’t necessarily have my own answers yet, but I know that just being able to ask the questions is one of the steps to conquering the clutter.
This might help… for an anniversary (1st?) gift the theme was paper. I’d collected all the cards that my husband and I had given each other over the years (a LOT of cards!) and cut out poignant memories or sayings. I’d gotten a large, unique frame from a thrift store and a couple of themed scrap-booking stickers and put together a collage that hangs on a wall instead of taking up drawer or floor space and recycled the rest. So now those memories are visible and more easily accessible than randomly coming across them in other places and it only cost $6.
I’d say you could do the same except to collect each persons cards (or your kids art/paper crafts) in a pile, cut out what you think is special and a signature and group them by person in a large frame or give certain ones (husband, parents, kids) their own frame. Then you would have extra special, sentimental wall art that you could see every day and enjoy those memories more often. You could even separate them by seasons so you could rotate the frames out. As you get new cards, you could add into the frames or even start new ones for new people that show up in your life.
My daughter suggested putting greeting cards in an album. Some day, I might get that done…
I don’t know if the rest of your house is in need of de-cluttering, but if it is, just skip the hard stuff for now. Start with the easy stuff first so you can build your willpower and exercise your de-cluttering muscles. Work up to the hard stuff. That’s one method I’m trying out in my journey. Best of luck! 🙂
Liz, 3 years ago my MIL died leaving a house full of ‘antiques’. Having called in a dealer I found out that nothing was really worth any real amount of money. I convinced my husband to pick his favorite piece based on memories or appeal and we got rid of the rest to a house clearance person. Looking at this one piece is more than enough to remind him of his mother and memories of growing up in her home and we were released of the ‘burden’ of becoming the custodians of someone else’s possessions. I like to think that some time in the future one of those pieces we gave away will be the one piece someone keeps to remind them of their loved one.
I will tell you that I helped clear out my grandfathers house, and even with a large family it was really hard to get most of the stuff to have a home. That was ages ago, and I value the big things I got from him not because they were his but for the way they fit in my home (or don’t). The longer the time goes on the more true it is. I have a small horse figurine from his study and that is absolutely precious to me, but the rest of it has just become stuff.
I also tell you that I lost my Mom about two years ago, and a scrap of paper with her handwriting will reduce me to tears. Remember that having a house full of furniture you don’t like or use won’t keep her memory alive in nearly the same way as having a small thing, a favorite shirt hanging in your closet, a beloved trinket on your dresser. Go easy on your self, and don’t punish yourself if you are ready to let things go.
Could some of the items be re-homed with siblings, grandkids, etc…? That way the things your mom loved would stay in the family, just not all in your house.
Liz,
I’m so sorry for the loss of your mother. I lost four relatives in nine months last year (my grandparents, my aunt, and my cousin), so I have received a few really special items and I watched many items being divided among other people as well.
I personally don’t have a ton of things from my grandparents. Mostly kitchen items. I received my grandmother’s everyday dishes so I sold my old ones. I received her mixing bowls so I took most of my other mixing bowls to Good Will. I have artwork in my living room from my grandfather that he gave me while he was still living so my old living room artwork is long gone. In other words, I didn’t add to my stuff but instead replaced it.
The things I’ve kept make me feel so close to my grandparents and stir-up special memories without burdening me with too much stuff. I feel that having less makes each thing I do have that much more special. I also think that if your mom could see you now, she’d want you to let things go and to be free in your home. She’d want you to love a few things and to let go of the rest. I’m sure she never meant for her items to feel like a burden to you.
Hugs to you, Liz, I know it isn’t easy.
Ugh this is SOOOOOO Me! I always think but it’s worth $X so I should sell it. But I HATE selling things online and as a household we ‘Don’t Do’ yard sales.
But I can’t seem to break myself of that thought process and my house shows it with clutter!
It helps me to remember all the great “bargains” I got when I was younger and thrifting was necessity. I feel like when I donate stuff that otherwise I could have sold or give it away to a friend who needs it that I’m passing along all that bargain ju ju. Someday I might need that stored up ju ju again, so I think of it as paying forward.
Yes, yes, YES! This is so me and so exactly what has happened here in the last 5 years. No more garage sales. Sick of selling online. Just get it outta here! Clearing my life of things I don’t need!
Thank you for this wonderful post! I have been struggling with the “what if I could sell it?” question quite often during my journey as well. I’ve even taken the time to take and post pictures with detailed descriptions on our local FB garage sale sites. I have a success rate of about…1%. SO not worth it when, right now, I ache for empty space.
Unfortunately, I am having a garage/yard sale this spring. I am not really looking forward to all the work. I used to sell stuff online, my town has a swap/buy/sell site on Facebook, but it is such a hassle to meet people to pick stuff up. My parents live outside the city limits so they con me into selling their crap too. Such a pain! I can’t wait to be done with it!!
One thing that helps me when I have a garage sale is to put a price on things as soon as you decide to sell them. That way you don’t have a garage full of things that need a pricing decision. Good luck!
Fran,
That is a great idea. Since I already have a HUGE pile of crap this time, I’ll have to employ this strategy next time. 🙂
I understand exactly how you feel. I gave two boxes of toys away last night. I had some I was keeping for a yard sale but decided I just wanted the space and my 5 year old son has so many toys. It is just so much easier to give the stuff away. We have had a few yard sales and they are exhausting. The money was nice and helpful at the time, but I am glad to be able to just give the extra stuff away and get it out of my house :D!
Don’t borrow other peoples sentiments!!! Did I read that on here awhile back? Just because a piece of furniture or a dust collector meant something to my mom does not mean its special to me. I used this on my sister when helping her clean out some space.
Yep. Here it is: https://www.aslobcomesclean.com/2011/04/letting-go-of-someone-elses-memories/
When a gift is a burden.
I and a friend worked for a week 5 days morning to night to clean/declutter the small one bedroom apartment of a young hoarder/cat owner at her request.
It was a potent experience.
Her family had a habit of “gifting” her stuff and “requiring” her to keep it.
At least that was her telling of the story.
Much of the furniture and greater than 100 bags of cat urine and bug infested stuff went to the dumpster that week.
I will likely never forget the experience.
Love this post! I am a second-generation pack rat. I make excuses to hold onto ‘things’ and I’m sick of it. We just started going through games and toys, and for the first time in years (or ever!) I was able to say “give away” more easily. No selling, just chuck it or give it! Yay, for me!
And I absolutely love the comment from Andree on how much value we have in the square footage of our homes. And what are we using it for?! Duh. Great perspective!
So glad I happened onto this site!
I am so glad you posted this today. I am still an ebay seller and intend to continue this pursuit. BUT I bought a ton of stuff when I was a beginner that were mistakes for one reason or another. I have been packing up the mistakes to have a garage sale. It has been overwhelming and very slow going. Half of my garage (the half my car should be in) is stacked with this stuff I was going to have a garage sale with. UNTIL I read your post and realized how much I would value donating and being done with it all and having my car in the garage. THEN I read Andree’s reply about the value of the square footage wow ah ha moment. I loaded up my car to the top and drove straight to the thrift store. It is going to take me about 5 more trips as near as I can tell. I feel so much better Thank you Thank you so much for your help.
Love hearing this!! Go you for getting after that huge task!
Thank you for answering me Dana. I just reread your ebook set and these are so wonderful and helpful. I have taken another huge load to the thrift store since writing the above post and now I know it will probably be at least 8 more trips to the thrift store. Sigh. But I will get there one step at a time. Thank you again for all your help
Do you have someone that would pick it up for you? DAV maybe?
{Melinda} I love this post! I used to think about what new things I could get so I could finally be content and happy. Then, we had a hurricane hit our town and nearly destroyed our house. We moved our stuff three times from storage unit to rental back to our house in the time span of 10 months. By the third move, we had purged ALOT. We realized how much we really didn’t use and how silly it was to hold on to it. A huge perspective changer that has stuck with me even 10 years later.
I used to hold onto stuff to take it to a resale shop or hope to sell it on ebay. After feeling like my time was wasted when I got next to nothing for my items, I decided my time is money.
Since I am a stay at home mom, my time does not earn income, but I am able to decrease the expenses (having time to prepare dinner instead of going out, keeping up with the laundry instead of thinking we need more clothes, etc.).
This helped me realize that I can’t do it all, so I need to pick what’s more worthwhile.
Great way to look at things!
Thank you for this post. I had dishes to get rid of and made the mistake of looking up their “value” on-line. I couldn’t just donate them after that – to buy the set I had would cost $400. I hung onto them forever it seemed wondering what to do with them. I just met a lovely family who moved here from Egypt with nothing, they are now enjoying a lovely set of dishes.
Love hearing this!
Good on you for ignoring the panicked feelings! I’ve known three people in my life who had the ‘what if’ syndrome. What if I need this next month? Next year? Or in thirty years? One wasn’t really bad, but the others…wow. The hoarders show would probably faint seeing all their stuff. I only know one of them well, and this person is the main reason I’m not buried in clutter. I don’t ever intend to live in a storage facility – or be a slave to stuff. Even so, I still have too much stuff, lol.
I had one yard sale maybe 15 years ago, and I hated everything involved in it. Especially the fact that I only sold a fraction of what I put out. After that…never again. I doubt I earned $1.00 an hour by the time the weekend was over. My time is more valuable than that, so now I give things away.
I’d like to say I do it so I can be a blessing to others, but if I’m honest, I give it away because it’s the easiest way to get rid of it. Load it in the van, drive to Hospice or Goodwill, unload it and it’s gone. In my defense, I don’t give away garbage. That I throw away. But the rest, yeah. I just want it out of the house.
Kristy, I’d just like to add one thought to your comment here: The time is a big point. So is our strength/energy. The work involved for doing a yard sale is also not worth it to me because of the exhaustion and tiredness that is involved. It’s so much easier to just load that stuff in the car and deliver it, as you say! Then I can use my energy to do something more worthwhile. 🙂
Don’t throw away all garbage! See if you have a local thrift store that takes it! I just found out that we have one that does great work in the community…and they take garbage! They keep good/nice things to sell to fund their projects and the rest is recycled. They recycle clothes/towels/fabric with holes, rips, and stains. They recycle old belts and shoes, and they even recycle broken toys! They get money for the junk stuff that they recycle, too, which in turn helps the community and especially the homeless shelter that is funded by the store/recycling. I am so thrilled to find this out and am told more of these places are springing up across the country.
Good post, Nony! Jesus said that “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” (Acts 20:35) How much more do we need to remember that when it comes to giving away things that we don’t *need*? I guess we should ask, “Am I ‘receiving’ this to heap it upon my own selfishness, or can I have the blessing of giving it away and be a help to someone else?” That kind of changes the whole picture, doesn’t it? This just came to me!
P.S. I struggle sometimes with those same exact feelings you mention, so don’t think I’m being self-righteous! 🙂 I know those slight feelings of panic about getting rid of some things! Ugh.
I tried and tried to resist commenting on this one. Mainly because Nony said specifically that she is not knocking garage and yard sales. For those that are done with garage sales for whatever reason, that is great and I’m glad that you are able to donate. But lets not be too hard on garage sales or people that still do them. If you are disciplined as a buyer they are great! I have been very blessed with the exact item I was in need of for pennies. One time I was praying for shoes for my daughter (because I couldn’t afford any and my kids have trouble with their feet if they wear cheap shoes)…well God brought me to a sale and they had pink orthotic shoes in her exact size… for $3! You could say I could have found these at a thrift store (if the person had donated them), but a lot of times thrift stores are very overpriced.
My other thought on garage sales is something I learned last year. My husband banned me from having garage sales for the past 10 years for reasons a lot of people stated above…too much work, not enough money made, etc. Last year my friend had a sale and told me to bring anything I wanted to put in it if I helped. I loaded up the car three times with stuff to sell. Whatever was left after the sale I donated. The cool part– I found out I am waaaay more motivated to put stuff out for sale then I am at putting stuff in a donate box. When my friend called me before the sale, I was a little sad because I had just taken 3 boxes over to the thrift store of expensive items and didn’t think I had much left to sell. But I came up with 3 car loads when there was motivation to sell things! So if you feel like having a garage sale – do it! Here are my tips: Do a garage sale with a friend, don’t save up things to sell- keep donating things, price things low- so they move (the idea is not to make money but to get things out of your house! This in turn will be a greater blessing to the less fortunate), donate everything that is left over, put out plenty of signage and post an ad in craigslist (we made 20 signs out of cardboard from old boxes and leftover paint). I know not everyone is like me, so if you don’t want to/can’t do sales then don’t. But I personally re-found my love for them (and so did my husband), and I can’t wait for my next sale in a month! Already making signage!
I so agree with all this! There really are times and places and phases of life when it makes the most sense to have garage sales! And I miss the amazing deals I’ve gotten at sales. My mother and I have stories of praying and finding EXACTLY what we needed at sale after sale when furnishing my college dorm room! (It was crazy how specifically those prayers were answered!)
That is so cool! He really is faithful when we pray.
Omg. I just found this blog and I am bouncing around the different posts and I feel like crying. This is a constant struggle for me and I constantly feel like I’m letting my family down by being such a lousy housekeeper. I try but so far it’s been a battle. I really don’t want my kids growing up slobby too.
Welcome, Ali! You’re definitely not alone!
When we moved 8 years ago from a 5-bedroom house with two family rooms, a garage, etc. (in a rural Midwestern area where real estate was much less expensive) to a 3-bedroom apartment (in an East Coast city), we sold, gave away, and “put in storage” a lot of stuff…yes, a storage unit for which we pay by the month. Over the years, I’ve whittled down the stuff in the storage unit, by selling, giving away, and bringing some home. But still we have the storage unit (albeit a smaller one than initially); and I figured out one day that with that money we could have bought a brand new car by now. But it’s my husband’s stuff that he wants to keep, and it’s he who needs a car, so for me, it’s just about making sure we are both aware, and then letting the thought go again, emotionally. But yes, it’s always good to be aware.
ugh. i did a yardsale for one weekend in the beginning of july, with the full intention of doing it every weekend in july. yea, that didn’t happen. so my porch is full of all the crap we were trying to sell because we didn’t want to lug it back down to the basement every weekend. i let some stuff go already for way less than i would have before, all because of your other posts about garage sales. at this point i’m thinking of uncovering it all and just putting a giant sign that says “FREE” out, but if there’s one thing i can’t bear to part with for nothing it’s all the kid’s clothes and bedding. because i need somebody to pay me for this stuff that’s too small for my kids so i can afford to buy stuff that’s big enough for them. :-/
This post really hit home for me. I can’t really use my one room to the fullest because of all my craft supplies. I intend on making and selling things but the stuff just gets in the way and I spend more time moving things around to make room to craft.
Toys are a big one too for me… my daughter has her favorites and I believe she gets overwhelmed by so many things.
When my gram passed away I inherited a picture I always admired, some jewelry and her recipes. She had downsized years before, only keeping what was special to her. A few years before she passed she began giving pieces of jewelry, pottery etc away to family members so she could see their reaction and them enjoy it while she was alive.
I love your site Dana… you speak my language!!!
Well said !
The older I get, the more I want to SIMPLIFY.
Unfortunately, for the last 40+ years, I ‘ve SAVED practically everything – mostly sentimental reasons but also I-might-need-it-itis
THANKS for all you sensible, funny, encouraging blogs
Slow and steady decluttering is better than none at all.
Peace, Love and Blessings !
I would SO much rather GIVE items away than sell them, for the very same reasons you mention.
My husband taught me about the blessings that come from giving things away. Over the years, he has given away electronics, speakers, my couch!, beds/mattresses, food, pocket knives, clothes…and just when we have need or lack, someone blesses us with something we actually need. “Give and ye shall receive” is a biblical principle that has shown time and again to be true. (And we don’t give in order to get. It just happens because God is amazingly and creatively fun!)
Somehow, the Lord keeps telling me, “Freely, you have been given; Freely give.” I’m getting there but I have a long way to go.
This reminds me of Marie Kondo’s “Does it spark joy?” concept… except that rather than tuning in to whether an object sparks joy, you’ve tuned into the realisation that the lack of the object sparks joy. Or that using a space easily and comfortably without hassle sparks joy. Same powerful concept, different application, more joy in life, WIN.
I came to this conclusion too. Most of the time I hold on to stuff for decades. I’m sure I’ve totally gotten my money’s worth out of that item by then so they can be free to move on. Donating is like ripping off the bandaid and then it’s over. Garage sales just drag out the guilt. Too much thinking and second guessing myself while pricing and haggling and handing over “treasures” one by one.