Several years ago, I read about someone making the decision to immediately throw away any pen that didn’t write.
Sounds logical. I was relieved to know that an otherwise normal-seeming person struggled with this, and I determined to do it too.
As someone who was forever finding and then re-finding pens that were out of ink, I’ve tried to be conscious about not putting non-working pens back into the drawer.
Because grabbing a pen (usually in a hurry), only to find that it doesn’t write . . . is near the top of the list of Life’s Most Annoying Little Things.
This morning, I grabbed a pen to do my Bible study. While technically, the pen wasn’t out of ink . . . it was very difficult to write with it. It didn’t guide smoothly and certain sections of my already messy handwriting were made more difficult to read by the ink randomly cutting out.
I was annoyed enough to get up and find a new pen.
I started to put the not-unusable-but-super-annoying pen back into the drawer. But then I stopped myself. I realized that I was putting it back just in case I was ever desperate.
I do this a lot.
I plan to be desperate.
I’m not so good at thinking ahead enough to remember to grab a new pen at the store, but I’m great at thinking ahead enough to know that I’ll forget to grab a new pen at the store.
So I keep the old one.
The almost-no-good one.
Ugh.
I threw that pen away.
I’m sure I’ll regret it someday. Y’know, when I’m desperate.
--Nony
What?! You didn’t shake the pen, try different angles, tap the pen, scribble on the paper to make it write, etc. Hmmm……this is a new idea to me, this throwing away of pens that don’t work. I’ll have to ponder this. Thanks for the (should be completely obvious but isn’t) tip!
Don;t they also have to be stored in a jar upside down for at least 6 months. Just to make sure
Love that you tagged this post “figuring myself out” – that is key, I think, to finding a system that works for each of us individually. Some people would know which pen is for use in desperation only. Not you. Not me either! Best to just chuck what doesn’t work (literally and figuratively!) and move on. Thanks, Nony!
I do the “save the pen even if it doesn’t work” thing ALL THE TIME. What makes it ten times more annoying is my children love to draw and they use up ink like crazy…thus I end up with ten pens that don’t work at all that I keep saving…LOL!
Purposing anew to throw away a pen RIGHT AWAY if it doesn’t work. 🙂
It wasn’t until I got into “Dana logic” that I actually gave myself permission to throw out under performing pens. “Planning to be desperate” was no doubt a subtext as well. I will think of that as I review other items such as those pesky pencils whose lead is too light for me to read or do not sharpen without breaking. Keeping high performing pens and pencils in a cup on the desk and returning them to said cup is now one of the small successes in my new style of “put it back in its home.” Thank you Dana, learning from you is improving my self confidence and sparking little joys.
Its like we have the , “maybe it will work the next time we try it” mentality. I totally get it.
I gave up that pen & pencil frustration decades ago. If given a promotional, cheap-o, disposable pen, they stay in one place strictly as take-aways for others (such as my tutoring students). Long ago I decided it would be overall much less expensive and frustrating to just get a really good (though not expensive) name-brand pen I like (my preference is a classic Cross or Papermate), then just get standard refills for them as needed. Same works for me with pencils; have used only mechanical pencils w/refillable leads & erasers since the late 1960’s. Works for me.
I have the drawer of doom? The drawer where I put all those pens and “things”. Then I go into a cleaning frenzy and just dump the drawer in the trash only to think you’ve thrown out that elusive battery or jump drive? Throw in there a couple packs of broken crayons and some dried markers. Slowly, but surely I’m beating this habit.
This years New Years resolution was,if it don’t work or its broke,don’t keep it.I haven’t completely broke myself of keeping what my hubby calls trash but I am doing better about throwing unusable stuff away.
what manual are you using for scripture study? Looks interesting!!
Hi Linda!
It’s my BSF lesson. Bible Study Fellowship. It’s a class you attend weekly and the lesson is part of that. Here’s the link to the class finder: http://bsfinternational.org/Classes/tabid/74/Default.aspx
(I highly recommend it!)
So does my family! We have all three been children’s leaders at various times! We have learned so much, as well as benefitting from the emphasis on putting what we learn into practice (rather than just soaking it up .) Starts in the fall and goes through about the end of the school year.
Florence
I can’t believe how often I keep pens that don’t work or don’t write well. I’m trying to do better, too. I’m sick of pulling out the same, crummy pen every time.
We should all make a pact to THROW AWAY PENS THAT DON’T WORK!
Ditto!
Reading this put a smile on my face…I was just looking for a pen to write with, took my DH, now he’s looking for a pen…guess it’s time to buy some. Thanks for a smile.
Ugg!! I have a pen that I LOVE and appeared to be 65% full but stopped writing. I have carried it in my pocket (amongst other pens) for 3 weeks hoping one day it would magically write.
I will throw it out NOW!
I think a lot of us with disorganization problems have that “feast or famine” mentality. It applies to a lot of things, too. You feel like you need to always have a backup, which, to a lot of people is admirable. For instance, when my kids were in diapers, I ALWAYS had wipes, spare diapers, small toys, extra juice, etc – and whenever a friend came up short during an outing, they always said, “Oh, you’re so prepared.” In reality, my bag also had wadded up tissues, and wrappers from kid food. I try to pare it down, like you do. I have been losing weight and my husband devours food so fast – I think that’s part of my problem. I feel like I need to “catch up” when we eat, or when he starts getting into the pretzels, I feel like I need to eat it now. I keep reminding myself – I can always go to the store & get more.
I so appreciate your comment as it led to a aha moment for me. That fear that I will be hungry at some point in the near future that leads me to eat when not hungry or even overeat all out of anxiety. Preparing to be desperate (low blood sugar; hangry; without food in the house…) I live alone and my pantry and fridge are stocked as if I’m a family of several people. Mentally playing catch-up was a great phrasing that resonates with me.
I might just go through my pens and pencils today its kinda a good sit down project for when your to sick to run about doing other things but you don’t exactly need 24 hours sleep
threw away 10 not working pens, sharpened 12 pencils not including the 6 or so I through away that would break off when I tried sharpening them. I think it took me longer finding the bag than actually doing the chore but yet we so often would be in to much of a hurry when looking for a pen that works to walk to the garbage with the one that doesn’t
Good for you! I have colored pencils that break when I sharpen them…guess I keep thinking that I’ll get past the broken part and it’ll be fine…or not…
Hope you are feeling better soon. Feels good to still accomplish something even when you are not well, as long as you don’t overdo it. The other night I couldn’t sleep because I was in pain. Stayed in bed too long trying to make it go away and sleep. Finally I got up and decided to do something quietly useful, that it would feel better to do that than to not sleep though I was trying. I decluttered the little junk on the mantel and did some other little decluttering, and in 2 hours I was feeling better enough to go to sleep. Usually if in that situation I’d figure at least I was getting rest even if not sleep, but honestly it felt better to be up and doing some little things. And the result was nicer spaces, which also felt better.
I can totally relate to this post! I find myself doing exactly the same thing daily.
Just wanted to let you know that you have inspired me to chronicle my own journey!
Wonderful! It’s a fun (and little-bit-crazy) thing to do!!
Oh I know that paper you’re writing on so well! LOVE! xoxo
{And I just detest pens that don’t write well.}
In the past year or so I have started doing the same thing! Why hang on to something that won’t work right (or write! lol) What a relief to allow myself to toss those not-broken-but-totally-useless things. I never thought about the “planning” to be desperate part of it…I WAS always keeping them around for those “just in case” scenarios….not anymore! As you know, with our personality type, there is seldom only one of anything in my house so the “just in case” excuse doesn’t cut it. Thanks for putting a neat perspective on this for me.
Your post made me laugh as I can so see myself in it. I have always had a LOVE for office supplies and when I was an admin. assistant for some years, I always knew to have a working pen or two within my reach. However, at home, I would get cheap/good/refillable pens and do the same thing you did – if they were meh!, I would still put them back in the drawer…maybe thinking they would magically refill themselves or start working right again? So every year around the New Year, I take all my pen cups, go through them and do an overhaul. I write with them on a large piece of scrap paper and those that dont work right? Dont make the cut and go into the trash! I love the line about “planning to be desperate” – I think alot of us messier people have the problems we do with our environments because we dont think we are worthy of nice things, etc. or the “what if” of Life bogs down our thinking. Im so glad we had your insights to help us along…thanks for sharing!
Been doing this since you first wrote about it and opened my eyes to it. I’m amazed at how much smoother using a writing implement has become. As a side note, I no longer take every free pen. They just are not made to last. Now I only take the ones from my favorite places, and funnily enough, theirs seem to last long. TKY TKY TKY
I shared with my daughter this principle and she applied it to her massive makeup collection and threw out half of it and was surprised at how good it felt. Then she applied it to her food storage container drawer. Now she is working on her closet. It is her guiding principle now “would I only use this if I were desperate”?
I just added that question to my list!
I no longer buy pens that need to be refilled; I know remembering to buy refills will never happen. I have a few I’m not quite ready to give up on yet, but never will I buy another. Non-refillable go in the trash ASAP since I threw out well over 150 dead pens when I purged my mom’s belongings after she passed away.
WOW! What a light-bulb moment! Not just about pens, but about everything! Thank you, Noni, for
helping me realize my brick wall!
I’ve thought a lot about the “scarcity mentality” while I’ve read (listened to) your books/podcasts. That’s the bulk of the deeper “why” behind my packrat tendencies.
Also, you can suck on the end of it to get the ink to flow. Which is completely necessary and not gross at all. 🤦🏻♀️
Once when I was dropping my kids off at the babysitter, I wanted to write my work phone numbers down. Right by the phone was a mug of pens and pad of paper. I grabbed a pen and she said “oh these pens don’t work” lol!! She knew it and kept them. I have my own similar problems, but it still made my scratch my head
As usual, DANA, LOL. Why do we do such stupid stuff. THANK YOU.
I wrote my latest blog about you at Dynamotruth.com com. I hope you don’t mind.
“Planning to be desperate” – what a perfect, corrective, and motivating description of the unnecessary concern around keeping something “just in case”. I NEEDED this post! Brilliant!
Yes! But it’s also more than planning to be desperate. It’s also wanting to be the hero, the one who still has a pen when all the other pens in the world have gone missing, even if it doesn’t write very well. (Even better if I have an entire unopened package of good ones! right?)
But I already have a Savior who provides for me. I can’t be that for everyone else, nor should I want to be.
Thanks, Nony.
or an entire package that have gone dry!!!
What clarity. Thank you, Dana, for bringing this up from the archives.
I have never been desperate, but I do catch myself using fabric scraps or recycling fabric before I dig into the planned purchase yardage (the good stuff) as if I could possibly ever run out of fabric in this lifetime = desperate.
For me, “planning to be desperate” resonates with planning to be poor, planning to survive a depression or a world war, you know, that kind of thing. This is despite the fact that I have a good steady job and retirement savings. I’ve been poor at times in my life so it makes sense. But there is no point in holding onto stuff if impedes the functioning of my household and my life. Thanks for another great insight.
This is me too. My underlying fear is losing everything. Our local economy will tank. My husband will leave and clear out our bank accounts. One of us will die. Medical bills will wipe out all our savings. And when that happens, I won’t have the luxury of being picky about my pens or popping down to the store for a new one.
In reality, I have many loved ones who would be willing to buy me a pen. Even in the pandemic, we never ran out of toilet paper in my house, ate the granola bars from the variety pack my kids don’t like, or even finished those craft projects I was saving for “when I have time.”
But life throws me just enough curveballs to make me feel like keeping things might be good. Sudden school projects to build a shoebox diorama or a Rube Goldberg contraption. A room that needs to be emptied due to a plumbing leak and suddenly we do need all those empty bins I’d saved. It’s just enough to muddy the real truth – that my family would be happier if we didn’t spend so much energy finding and working around STUFF everywhere!
I have to admit that I am pretty free about disposing of nonworking pens. Sometime awhile ago, it occurred to me that this was One Thing I could throw away and feel okay about doing it. I will say, though, that I have a LOT of pens. I periodically go through them and throw away the dead ones. It makes me feel righteous!
Ha Ha! You caught me!!! I didn’t notice the date and was, after the Covid supermarket rush, expecting a completely different post! Seems we are all “planning to be desperate” lately and over-purchasing lots of items, mostly non-perishables and canned goods…just in case.
“planning to be desperate” is one of my biggest hoarding/ cluttering pitfalls! I’m resourceful and optimistic- why do I assume I’ll be in trouble or in need in the future?!
I ran into this the other day with my mother. We were having a yard sale, and I explicitly told her, “Whatever does not sell needs to be given away; do not keep any of it.” And she starts on with the “But you might need it someday, what if you want it later,” etc. And I said “Mama, I haven’t needed it in 6 years. I can’t predict the future!” And now I’ve realized she’s preparing to be desperate and I’m trying not to!
Oh, gosh!I think the is is what I do with emails – just closing them and not deleting them after reading – why??? Just in case? of what??? Thanks again and again, Dana.
Amy, this is SO me! I do this all the time! I am such a filer.
Need to just read and delete. Thanks!
I had this realization when I was helping my parents move. My dad had a load of pens. He wanted to keep them. I suggested we test them to see if they still work. Set my daughter to the task. We kept maybe 1%.
When I got home, I did the same with the pens I had at home. Probably should do so again…. I was raised with “keep that, you might need it someday”. I am REALLY trying to break myself of that mindset. It’s hard.
this is exactly why i love you, thanks for this post.
“Planning to be desperate” TOTALLY speaks to me (after I laughed out loud, of course!). You are SO right on this observation. My dad totally falls into this category as, I am afraid, do I (although happily to a much lesser extent)! No more PLANNING for desperation. Thanks for the wake up call!