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Things a Mother Might Say When Helping Her Sons Declutter

July 16, 2012 By Dana White | 66 Comments

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Things a Mother MIGHT Say While Helping Her Sons Declutter at ASlobComesClean.com

Last weekend, after a moment of pure, brain-exploding frustration that my boys had no idea where any of their clothes were (even though they carried armloads of clean and folded laundry into their room only two days earlier) . . . I declared that Saturday afternoon would be spent decluttering their room.

There were no cheers of delight.

I didn’t care.

I sat on the bottom bunk holding a black trash bag and leaning on a laundry basket designated for donations.

And . . . I spouted off many words of motherly wisdom:

1.  Don’t start over there.  Let’s worry about the stuff you trip over first.

2.  Do we actually need that sheep/cuckoo clock?  (The one that baaas on the hour.)

3.  It can’t be your favorite drawing if it was at the bottom of a pile of trash.

4.  Do you even see that corner?  That one.  The one piled high with stuff?

5.  Next time you receive a gift you know you’ll never, ever play with . . . let’s return it for something you’ll actually use.

6.  Please stop wasting your energy doing flips off side of the bed.

7.  The corner!  The SAME corner.  Please don’t leave that corner until it is completely clear.

8.  Where do books go?  Put them there.

9. IF I let you keep that snakeskin, it must NEVER be left anywhere where I could possibly accidentally touch it.  Ever.

10.  Any money that is not in your personal designated “money spot” will be divided equally between you.  Period.  Shhh.  We’re not discussing it any more.

 

What are some things you’ve heard come out of your own mouth while helping your kids purge the, ahem . . . clutter out of their rooms?

Things a Mother Might Say fb at ASlobComesClean.com

 

--Nony

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Filed Under: kids rooms | 66 Comments

Comments

  1. Lynette says

    July 16, 2012 at 6:55 pm

    Funny! I feel like I am constantly nagging my kids, especially my daughter, about their rooms. They are old enough that they should be able to clean on their own (13 and 16), so I can remember any recent quotes. But I did get so frustrated recently that I had my husband remove my daughter’s door from the frame. I told her she could have her privacy back when it was clean. And it didn’t take long – but also didn’t take long to get messy again~

    Reply
    • Lynette says

      July 16, 2012 at 6:56 pm

      “Can’t” remember….

      Reply
    • Nancy Hinds says

      January 31, 2015 at 4:12 am

      My daughter first had an issue with buckets of water in the room hiding under the bed, then shoving everything that wasn’t nailed down under her bed…so out came the bed frame. Then an issue of slamming the door too many times…so the door came off. From under her room in the garage, you could hear what sounded like sweeping gravel on the floor. No one could walk in there without killing yourself or breaking whatever it was on the wooden floor. She was middle school through high school age. My son’s (2 yrs older) room was a carpet of clothes, trash, Legos, Knex, junk and more junk. When they were away for a night or two, I would make the mistake of delivering clothes and would wind up cleaning for about 6-8 hours to my satisfaction. Then they would complain that they couldn’t find anything.

      Reply
  2. Shannon says

    July 16, 2012 at 7:37 pm

    “How exactly did you carpet the entire room in Legos? And WHY do you want to spend your money on yet another Lego kit??”

    Reply
  3. Jennifer G says

    July 16, 2012 at 9:23 pm

    I know where you are coming from, but I have to say I LOVE the sheep “cuckoo” clock. No, no, please don’t mail it to me…my son has no space in his room for ANYTHING else 🙂

    Reply
    • Nony says

      July 17, 2012 at 8:20 am

      It has a unique charm . . . I guess. And really, it’s exactly the sort of thing I would have chosen from a prize room as a child!

      Reply
      • Eden says

        January 31, 2015 at 10:36 am

        That clock is awesome!

        Reply
    • Nancy Hinds says

      January 31, 2015 at 4:14 am

      I love that clock…I could use it up here in my craft/office/hoard room… I have space on a wall, somewhere.

      Reply
  4. JessieMomma says

    July 17, 2012 at 12:36 am

    I am frequently telling my kids that they clean faster when they aren’t sitting down…. I make them squat or kneel so they can pop up and put things in the right place. Another one is “ok, stop looking at that now…. It takes 5 seconds to figure out a)what it is, b)to whom it belongs, and c)where it ought to be located…” Some day I am going to prerecord myself telling them these things and sit in a corner reading and pressing ‘replay’.

    Reply
    • safepethaven says

      July 17, 2012 at 9:25 am

      Just put it on a loop tape and wire it to play subliminally under their pillows every night until it happens by osmosis into their brains.

      Reply
      • Nony says

        July 17, 2012 at 10:18 am

        Hee hee.

        Reply
      • Nancy Hinds says

        January 31, 2015 at 4:15 am

        Great idea… could use that for myself!

        Reply
  5. Sandy says

    July 17, 2012 at 8:07 am

    Nothing I say but something my “everything has a place and everything should be in it’s place” mother would say/do to me (her unfortunate slob of a daughter).

    I would come into my room to find EVERYTHING that was on my bedroom floor/under the bed/bottom of the closet/stacked on surfaces was now tossed on the top of my bed-which now had no sheets on it (so I guess it was technically my matress). I had to get everything put away to her specifications before I would get the sheets to make the bed. Boy did that make for a LONG day.

    Reply
    • Nony says

      July 17, 2012 at 8:18 am

      Ouch. But I may have to try that at some point!

      Reply
      • Sandy says

        July 17, 2012 at 10:08 am

        Some days I wish she would come to my house and do that now (but don’t tell her that). It would definitely make me stop procrastinating.

        Reply
    • Linda says

      January 30, 2015 at 11:15 am

      Not a bad idea. Desperate situations need some kind of solution.

      Reply
  6. Crystal says

    July 17, 2012 at 8:36 am

    Oh I love that clock! It’s so cute!! (yes I would totally take that off your hands 😉 LOL The last time I had my daughters clean their room, when I went up to check it when they said they were done, I saw piles of “stuff” shoved in a corner. When asked why they thought they could do that they said “because we didn’t think you’d come look”….I told them, ALWAYS clean like I’m going to be a psycho mom checking every inch of this room! LOL

    Reply
  7. Erica says

    July 17, 2012 at 8:56 am

    So, last week I exhumed every toy in the house and put them on the living room floor.
    Then I left the house.
    Then I came back and sorted all the toys. My kids are 4 & 6 so I just let them play with the discoveries.
    Then I swept out their rooms and introduced them to “what space and order could feel like in your space.” they agreed it was sort of awesome.
    THEN I had them “shop” the living room for the best, most important toys that would fit in their rooms.
    Voila.
    The leftovers have left the house.
    It was a little more positive choosing what to keep that would fit than choosing what to let go of. We’ll do it again in Advent to make space for the new toy onslaught!

    Reply
    • Nony says

      July 17, 2012 at 10:20 am

      Erica, I LOVE this idea! It’s truly brilliant! Think you might want to write it up as a guest post? If not, I may make it its own post!

      Reply
    • Cyndi says

      May 11, 2016 at 6:50 pm

      This is a smart way to look at it. When we do a stuffed animal purge I lay them all on the couch and have my daughter pick her favorite 3 big, 4 medium, 5 small. The rest are stuffed back into bean bag chair bags (no beans) or into the attic.
      I think we will do this with other items too!

      Reply
  8. Julie says

    July 17, 2012 at 9:05 am

    I’ve learned to say, “Is it MOM clean?” when they come tell me they are done. That usually sends them back in there for a second round of cleaning, LOL. Because they know I come check with a garbage bag!

    Reply
  9. OM says

    July 17, 2012 at 9:11 am

    I still haven’t had the occasion to find myself saying any of those things, but oh, number 1… I need to record it and put in on repeat when *I* clean and declutter.

    Reply
  10. Christina Street says

    July 17, 2012 at 9:51 am

    Because we have just turned 1 year old named Rachel, our constant question when claiming that their room is clean is “Is it Rachel safe?”

    Reply
  11. susan says

    July 17, 2012 at 9:54 am

    “if you don’t cooperate, daddy is bringing the shop vac upstairs to clean up all your legos.”

    Reply
    • Nancy Hinds says

      January 31, 2015 at 4:25 am

      We would need a street sweeper!

      Reply
  12. Stephanie says

    July 17, 2012 at 10:09 am

    If I want their room cleaned up, I just grab a garbage bag and open it in their doorway. They start running to clean it up. I have been known to tie the bag on the door handle, that way they can see it and it serves as a reminder that anything left where it shouldn’t be goes in there and never comes back out.

    Reply
  13. hsmominmo says

    July 17, 2012 at 11:55 am

    Oh my, oh my, oh my – I’ve said every one of those things (ok, don’t have the sheep clock, but I’d have a good substitute for it).
    Looks like you struck quite a chord, Nony – look at all the comments! I can relate to nearly every one, and appreciate the tips, too.
    The only thing I’d add is: when we near the ‘finish line’ I’d say something like “now, isn’t this nice? I know you really like it this way. So THIS time, we’re going to keep it this way, right?”
    to which the response is always goofy grins and enthusiastic nods of the heads and “yes, Mom”s (big sigh)

    Reply
  14. [email protected] says

    July 17, 2012 at 1:17 pm

    What the heck is that?
    That’s disgusting.
    How long has that been there?

    Reply
    • Nancy Hinds says

      January 31, 2015 at 4:31 am

      Yeah, like finding things from a backpack that time forgot… instead of being sneaky and tossing food at school, they would hide it in their rooms like mushy black bananas, sandwich bags filled with liquid sandwiches… oh and my daughter used to hide food dishes from the kitchen and those cute delectable containers of fruit in her bean bag chair. We didn’t find that till we were left to clean her room when we asked her to leave!

      Reply
  15. Chris says

    July 18, 2012 at 9:07 am

    So funny that I found myself thinking it could be an inner dialogue with myself, actually, as I try to purge my own stuff. Well, except for the parts about snakeskins and flipping off of bedsides…

    Reply
  16. Dawn says

    July 18, 2012 at 1:07 pm

    LOL! Or how about…
    “There is no stuffing left in that pillow. Throw it away already.”
    “Pick a new favorite shirt that doesn’t have a rip across the front”
    ” Do you really NEED all the tags from your new clothes?”
    “What is that thing? An apple? It’s blue and fuzzy!”

    Ah, boys. Gotta love them!

    Reply
  17. emily says

    August 1, 2012 at 9:05 am

    my mantra for my girls (3 and 5) is, “bend down, pick something up, put it where it goes!” if i say it once, i say it a thousand times. they are notorious for seeing one pony on the top of the pile, which triggers their minds to search desperately to rescue ALL of their ponies from the pit of toys… meanwhile, they are spending valuable time sifting through toys that could already be put away!!

    your blog has been an encouragement to declutter our house, and i’m thankful that after a major cleanout a couple of months ago, they’ve been doing great (mostly) at keeping things picked up! thank you!!

    Reply
  18. Heather says

    August 4, 2012 at 1:25 am

    “NO! You CAN’T keep it….because I can’t tell what it is or was. And it kinda looks like poop. DON’T EAT IT!!!!!!!!”

    Said this to my two year old daughter when trying to clean out her toy box. Figured out it was once a banana, when it fell apart.

    Reply
    • Nony says

      August 4, 2012 at 9:55 am

      Ha!

      Reply
  19. Corey says

    January 13, 2014 at 5:01 pm

    I tell my 3 1/2 year old “If you don’t put it away, I will,” and she knows that if Mommy puts it away, it goes into the recesses of the basement or the very top shelf of the closet. This doesn’t seem to motivate her yet, but I have a lot fewer toys to clean up than I used to 😉

    Reply
  20. Elizabeth says

    January 13, 2014 at 5:05 pm

    My mother and I had EPIC battles my entire childhood about cleaning my room… She was/is OCD and has passed it down the line to me. I’m not saying that my room was ever clean, but I really, honestly always knew where everything was. Once I got my own house and was able to clean and organize things my way, I have the cleanest house of all my friends…

    Reply
  21. Emily says

    January 13, 2014 at 5:24 pm

    My son was bad about leaving money all around his room. I told him that all money I found laying around goes straight into his college fund. That makes it unavailable as spending money. He is much more careful with his money these days.

    Reply
  22. Michelle says

    January 13, 2014 at 6:07 pm

    Number 10 brings back memories. I once told my sons that if I cleaned their room for them I got to keep all the money I found. They smugly said Okay! By the time I was done, I had $18.34 in my pocket. They couldn’t believe there was that much loose change just scattered everywhere and they never let me clean their room again!

    Reply
    • Dana White says

      January 13, 2014 at 8:42 pm

      Oh, I love it!

      Reply
    • Nancy Hinds says

      January 31, 2015 at 4:37 am

      After my son just moved out, we were left with cleaning and packing his junk he left behind to live in another state. He boarded a plane with 2 carry-ons and we then shipped him his beloved computer and 2 monitors packed with clothes to cushion it. After a week of packing, I found at least 20 pairs of dead socks and almost $20 in cash from several boxes and in the washer.

      Reply
  23. Dawn says

    January 13, 2014 at 6:25 pm

    I always looked at my son and said You clean it OR I clean it. Your choice. His room always looked nice and it was all his doing. Now his dorm room at college looks pretty good as well.

    Reply
  24. Heather Costomiris says

    January 13, 2014 at 6:46 pm

    “It is not acceptable to shove everything under your bed or your dresser when you clean up” “No it doesn’t just disappear simply because I can’t see it!”

    Every Morning!!!

    Reply
  25. Deleese says

    January 13, 2014 at 7:17 pm

    When my now 26 year old son was about 12, I was sooooo fed up with washing, ironing, folding and putting clothes away, only to find everything in a heap on the floor getting walked over etc because he couldn’t find what he wanted, or wore something for an hour then left it where he stepped out of it, I made him wash and iron his own clothes. Didn’t matter if I was doing a wash, I refused to include his things. He soon learnt clean clothes didn’t miraculously appear. He is still a slob, but if he has to he knows how to iron and is usually the one in his relationship to do the laundry.

    Reply
  26. Kristin Grear says

    January 13, 2014 at 7:18 pm

    Don’t look in that black trash bag.;)

    Reply
  27. Lynn says

    January 13, 2014 at 7:38 pm

    Both my kids have horrible messy rooms(a girl and boy). Once, when my son was cleaning out from under his bed, he found a dead frog. So now, I say, “I your room clean enough that I won’t find any dead frogs?”

    Reply
    • Dana White says

      January 13, 2014 at 8:41 pm

      Oh my word, so funny!!

      Reply
  28. Misty says

    January 13, 2014 at 8:40 pm

    “Quit making me sound like Grandma!” as my mom was sitting nearby laughing at me.

    Reply
    • Sharon Brenneman says

      January 13, 2014 at 10:40 pm

      Love it!

      Reply
  29. Cindy Ellsworth says

    January 13, 2014 at 9:05 pm

    My personal favorite was when I found a Black Widow Spider that had mad a cozy little web around my son’s plug-in night light. Really? You didn’t notice THAT???

    Reply
    • Dana White says

      January 14, 2014 at 10:20 am

      Oh my word! So scary!

      Reply
  30. Amanda Bartlett says

    January 14, 2014 at 3:11 pm

    Why do you think a good place for lolly wrappers is under your bed?

    Reply
  31. Chari says

    January 15, 2014 at 9:27 pm

    I always give all the money found to the youngest’s piggy bank. 🙂

    Reply
  32. Sarah says

    March 18, 2014 at 7:22 pm

    “You only have to clean up one thing… at a time.”
    “If you put a much energy into cleaning your room as you put into trying to AVOID cleaning your room, you’d have been done in 10 minutes.”

    Reply
  33. Rena says

    March 19, 2014 at 3:59 am

    We (my 2 boys and I) do a family 10 minute tidy. This is where we start at one end of the house and only focus 10 minutes in each room. Because the 3 of us do it together it is easy to get through quickly and keep them on task. After the rooms are done they are free to relax or play. The boys are 12 and 5.

    Reply
  34. unmowngrass says

    July 19, 2014 at 1:11 pm

    “Start by picking up all of the laundry… ALL the laundry!!… Can you see any more laundry?… I can still see some more laundry… there’s still laundry under the trampoline… there’s laundry sticking out under your bed… No, where does laundry go?… is this clean or dirty? (x5) … well if it’s clean, put it away. … oh, suddenly it’s dirty is it?… well, where does that go?…get that t-shirt… get that sock by the door… yes, I know that’s your brother’s beaver kit, it could do with a wash… yes, I know he doesn’t go to beavers anymore, the kit could still do with a wash. … I can see another sock…” etc. You’d think the boy did his own laundry, wouldn’t you?!

    Reply
  35. Marilyn says

    September 17, 2014 at 8:55 pm

    I really didn’t make many comments – or even supervise the room cleaning! I just told them to clean it up, or if they preferred, I WOULD CLEAN IT FOR THEM! I never in 4 kids ever had one for them want me to clean the room for them! Amazing!

    Reply
  36. Layercakes says

    December 12, 2014 at 1:57 pm

    I say it in English, my mom would holler it in French. SO HELP ME GOD I GAVE YOU LIFE AND I CAN TAKE IT AWAY. French was scarier because we knew she meant business when the French started to fly. My kids will run for the hills when I start to mutter in French.

    Reply
  37. Marisa says

    January 30, 2015 at 10:25 am

    I have pretty much said everything in the book when it comes to my kids cleaning. They are now 14 and 19 and it’s still an issue. By far my favorite is “how can you even live in here? I can’t walk in here without stepping on something” to which my daughter replied “Every time I clean it up I can’t find anything. Like this I know where everything is.” I motivated my son to clean his room by letting him keep all the money made off his toys at the yardsale. Money’s a great motivator for a teen.

    Reply
  38. Linda says

    January 30, 2015 at 11:36 am

    I thought this was going to be a truly funny, juicy read that I could relate to… but now just I feel bad because you all sound so nice about it! I am grateful that atleast my youngest of my three children, gets it! He is 9 and sees the value in being neat, clean and organized. He has to share a room though, with his super slobby brother, age 11. The kind of nonchalant slobbiness that makes other people gringe while he relaxes comfortably in the mist of it all. Really, they remind me of “The odd couple” -an 80s show. Their older sister, age 13, has grown to prefer and what appears to be, enjoy her gross room because it is just that – hers. Ugh! I hate nagging. Besides, it doesn’t work. So I need a huge motivator instead, but what? My daughter wants friends over but not even that will get her to clean. Reverse psychology? Hypnosis?

    Reply
  39. Anita Salvini says

    January 30, 2015 at 12:33 pm

    I didn’t MAKE the mess. Why do you think I should have to clean it up?

    Reply
  40. Natalie cheney says

    January 30, 2015 at 4:53 pm

    What I said (and it worked wonders) was ….. You have exactly one hour to get your room clean , after that I will head in with a trashcan and I don’t care whats misplaced , I will pitch it! Two boys and they kept their rooms clean… after the first time around with my trash can. It made believers out of them!

    Reply
  41. Angela Pagenkopp says

    August 11, 2017 at 10:39 pm

    I have three boys that all play sports so my house smells like a locker room. But recently when I was supervising the cleaning of my middle son’s room, we found a pile of his hockey clothes from his last game (which was a month ago) and I had to convince him that the season was over so it was okay to “wash the luck out of them”.

    Reply
  42. Deb says

    August 12, 2018 at 5:30 am

    I had to smile as I read these comments. I’m now a grandma and only occasionally help the grand kids declutter. Love the little Coo coo clock.

    Reply
  43. Dawn says

    November 16, 2021 at 9:07 am

    I don’t have any kids, but I was one once. I shared a room with my sister for much of my childhood. My mother would always tell us to “go pick up your room”. Our smart-butt response, “I can’t. It’s too heavy.” I am not saying I am a messy person, but my mother used to wish she had bought two houses, one for her and one for us girls (there were 4 of us).
    My sister was sort of neat (especially as she got older) and when we were cleaning the room, we would divide it in half. I normally pushed as much as possible onto her side of the room.
    My husband is also a messy, and I find I get frustrated at his clutter but not my own. Mine makes sense to me, his is just random. I do find a lot of change on the floor from his pockets, though.

    Reply
  44. Jacquie says

    November 16, 2021 at 10:15 am

    🤣🤣🤣This post is priceless. Do I sound like you or do you sound like me? Who came first?🤣🤣🤣

    Reply
  45. Jenny says

    December 11, 2021 at 11:58 am

    I know I’m several years late to the party, but I have a 6 year-old, a 3 year-old and a baby, so I’m finding this post at exactly the right time. My house thanks you. 😆

    Things I find myself saying constantly:
    “No, don’t just throw it on top, open the drawer and put it where it goes.”
    “I love that you love reading, but we don’t have time to read every book before we put it on the shelf.”
    “Remember how we’re not supposed to bring food into our room? So then how did this wrapper get here? Ok well even if it somehow neither of you put it there, I still need you to throw it away.” “They can’t all be your favorites.” “We have enough drawings to cover the entire house inside and out. We can’t keep all of them. No we can’t ‘just get a bigger house’.” 🤦‍♀️

    Reply

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A Slob Comes Clean is the completely honest (and never-ending) story of my deslobification process. As I find ways to keep my home under control, I share the truth about cleaning and organization methods that actually work for a real-life slob. And I'm funny.

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