Today I’m participating in the Ultimate Blog Swap. You’ll find me posting over at Your Thriving Family about How to Tackle that Cluttered Space You Pretend Doesn’t Exist , and I’m excited to welcome Patty from Homemakers Daily here at A Slob Comes Clean.
Comparing One Homemaker to Another is Like Comparing Apples to Oranges!
Don’t Do It!!!!!
A comparison of apples and oranges occurs when two items or groups of items are compared that cannot be validly compared.
Years ago my children were involved in our church’s Awana program – I mean a LONG time ago since both of them are now grown and married. Anyway, every year the Awana program hosted a Grand Prix where the children made pinewood derby cars and raced them. One year I was asked to be a judge – not for speed, that would have been easy – but for craftsmanship and appearance. I agreed thinking it would be fun. It wasn’t fun. Not one bit. Judging that competition was one of the most difficult things I have ever done! Imagine trying to choose between cars made by first graders and cars made by sixth graders; or cars made by a parent and cars made by kids; or cars that looked like cars and cars that looked like other things (like guitars and pencils!). Judging between those cars was like comparing apples to oranges, only worse!
And just like it was impossible to judge between those cars, we homemakers shouldn’t judge ourselves based on how we compare to other homemakers. Each of us deals with different situations that affect how we manage our homes. For example:
- Goals – Do you want your home to be perfect or are you satisfied with a home that’s clean enough to be healthy, but dirty enough to be happy?
- Abilities – Were you taught basic homemaking skills or did you have to learn everything the hard way?
- Energy Level – Are you one of those high energy people who works circles around everyone else or do you have a low energy level that takes everything you have just to get the basics done?
- Time Available – Do you have a lot of time to spend on household chores or do you spend most of your time homeschooling your kids or working full-time?
- Size of Family – Do you have one child or five? The number of family members in your house has a definite impact on the condition of the house and the time you have available!
- Money – Do you have a generous budget that allows you to keep your pantry stocked or hire help or have nice furnishings? Or is your budget so tight you have to be extremely creative with everything financial related?
- Years Experience – How long have you been homemaking? Are you just getting startedor have you been doing it a while?
My daughter in law compares herself to me all the time. I’ve told her repeatedly not to do that. I’ve been a homemaker for 30 years and she’s just getting started. When I first started out, I didn’t know what I was doing. I had to learn to cook and clean and manage my household, and believe me, I did everything the HARD way. But I’ve been doing it a few years now and it’s a lot easier now. My daughter-in-law should wait to compare herself to me until she’s been doing it as long as I have.
Comparing ourselves to others is dangerous and not usually productive. But if you must compare, compare yourself to yourself. How are you doing today compared to how you did before?
Patty Garder is a full-time homemaker, wife, mom, grandma, and pet owner who started Homemakersdaily about a year ago to share some of the things she’s learned during 30 years of homemaking. The daily articles are directed toward homemakers in all phases of life. What you’ll find at Homemakersdaily is practical, nitty gritty, to-the-point articles to help you in your everyday life as you try to stretch your budget and your time and make a home for your family!
Visit Life Your Way to see all of the Ultimate Blog Swap participants!
Thank you for this 🙂 I never thought about the fact that comparing “homemaker” to “homemaker” is like comparing apples to oranges–but it’s true! Every person is different, and I’m definitely one of the lower-energy, still-figuring-this-out type of people. No wonder I feel like I’m doing well to get the basics done 🙂 I love your idea to compare yourself to yourself–I am doing so much better than I was 3 years ago when we got married. Yay! Thanks for the encouragement! 🙂
Yeah! That was the goal of the article. I’m so glad it was an encouragement.
Love, love, love this! Thanks so much. I married at 38 yo. and we’ve been married 4 years. Though I had prior experience in my parents’ home, keeping one’s own house singlehandedly (with help from my kind husband) is really different. I’ve struggled with health, emotional and stamina issues which, thank God, are improving. We have no children, and yet I struggle to keep up with household things and also conquer projects I think “need” to be done. I have a tendency to look at our house and think it’s not what it should be, and maybe it isn’t, but I need to learn to accept a level of cleanness and order that is appropriate for us and not stressful to me. And, I’m doing so much better than I was four years ago when we started this adventure!! 🙂 I need to focus more on praising the Lord for that and less on the still present limitations.
It’s so easy to fall into that trap of comparing our house with what other people have/do, but every situation is so different as you say, and priorities make a huge difference. My own mom was a great example in that. She kept our house tolerably clean (my dad was a pastor and we had lots of company), but she didn’t stress about deep cleaning. She emphasized what she called “a lick and promise” cleaning. 😉 The house was almost always presentable, but not pristine be a long shot. To her, people were more important that a perfect house, and that was a great lesson to grow up with!
This reminds me of a verse in the Bible too, 2 Corinthians 10:12 For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.
Great comment and I love your mother’s philosophy about the “lick and a promise cleaning.” Sounds like she is a wise woman!
And it sounds like you’re on the right track!