We don’t hire babysitters very often.
I have many excuses, and all are legit.
But when it comes down to it . . . the thing that makes me desperately go through all other childcare possibilities is . . . the fear of leaving someone alone in my house.
Not that I’m worried about them endangering my children or stealing money or going for a joyride in our car.
I’m worried that they might open the master bedroom door. It’s not a fear of them digging through our drawers, it’s a fear of them seeing what they’d have to step over to get to the drawers.
Anyway, I had to hire a babysitter this morning. I had made a doctor’s appointment that required me to leave the house at 8 a.m. When I made the appointment, it looked like my husband’s work schedule would allow him to “entertain” the kids at work while I went. But since making the appointment, things had gotten hectic and he had meetings scheduled all day long. Meetings that didn’t really allow for kids running in every five minutes to bug him. He was still willing, but when I asked him last night if I should try to get a babysitter, his relief was obvious. I didn’t feel like I could ask a friend, since it’s summer, and unlike me, most people don’t have kids who insist on getting up at 7 a.m.
So, at a pool party last night, I arranged a babysitter, warned both her and her mother about the state of my house (which is much better than it would have been last summer, but likely still shocking for normal people), was assured by them that their house was probably worse, assured them that there was no possible way that it was, and told her I’d pick her up at 8 a.m.
And just before I left to get her . . . I obsessively checked that I had everything out of my bedroom that I needed, and then locked the door.
Why the obsessive checking?
I don’t have a key for our master bedroom door and have never been able to manage the unlocking of it. So, I have to unscrew and almost completely remove it to get back into the room. This usually takes at least 15 minutes and isn’t something I want to have to do in front of a babysitter.
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Head on over to my facebook page and see an interesting piece of women’s health advice I got today at my appointment. While you’re there, I’d like it if you’d like me. (I know . . . it sounds pathetic.)
I know how you feel. Luckily, I have a live-in babysitter (pregnant 19 y/o SIL) so she knows what it's like in my house, but when company comes over, the bedroom door gets locked and it's a very old skeleton key that likes to have a very hard time turning.
Seems like it would be easier just to clean the house.
Love this post. I always shut the door when a sitter is coming and tell them no one is allowed to go in their. Whoever anonymous is must not get the fact that while a clean house is great sometimes it it just not always possible.
i'm anonymous and I raised two boys and a daughter who was born severely retarded with birth defects. It took years to teach her how to eat, not throw her spoon, she drools all over the place and spills at every meal, and I drove sometimes 80 miles a day for her schooling, and worked with her myself. I keep a large house, a large yard and my daughter is still my full time job. I am also almost medicare age. I never have to close a door when someone comes to my house. And you can't keep up with me??
Hi Anonymous,
I have great admiration for you and all that you have done in your life. In so many ways, you are the woman we all aspire to be.
My blog is what is considered a niche blog. It is not intended to meet the needs of the general public, whom I often refer to as “normal” people, but instead, those of us who struggle daily with keeping our homes from spiraling into chaos. It is something we are not proud of at all, and I often refer to it as my deepest, darkest secret.
With that said, I created this blog as a place for me to be completely honest, mostly with myself, about all of my lame excuses. Its purpose is to keep me focused.
I have learned over the past year that I am not alone. There are many, many women who wish desperately that they were like you in your ability to stay organized and keep your home clean and welcoming. This blog has become a place where they can come to feel understood and where they can gain hope that change is possible.
If the blog holds interest for you, and you desire to continue reading it, I would recommend that you read my “About Me” page and follow the advice on the “New Here?” page as well. You obviously don’t need any help in the area of organization, but if there are others in your life who struggle with it, perhaps this would help you to understand them better.
I am publishing this comment because it explains your unique perspective, and so that I can respond. However, in the interest of keeping this a community where people can be honest about their struggles and failures without fear of being attacked, I may not publish similar comments in the future. If you would like, you can email me using the email address under my “Contact/Connect” page.
Somehow missed this post and reply, but as “one of those who struggles” I’d just like to say “thank you”. Thank you for standing up for people like me, thank you for making me believe that I’m not a complete freak that I can’t keep up with stuff, and thank you for being open about your love of excuses. I have several excuses, my most cherished being my 4yo daughter, 16 month old son, my dog, and my building site of a home (working full-time is also a favoured excuse, but I don’t think I cherish it!). NB – in case you’re wondering, my husband isn’t in that list because although he’s cherished, he’s not yet given me any reason / excuse?! to be in the excuses list!
Wonderful.
Oooh! It must be wonderful to be so amazing, and I’d love for that lady to sit down and tell me about it sometime, but I am really busy right now…. 😉
(Thanks, Nony; I picked that up from you. You are a diamond, not a cubic zirconia. <3 )
Ah Nony, I’d like to hug you for your generous comment… You’re a much better person than I am. I’d have had a few snarky comments. Keep up the good work!!!
Good on ya! I appreciate your response to this comment and hope to remember enough of it to respond in kind to my born organized SIL next time she (unexpectedly) knocks on my door.
Good writing!
hahahahhaha. LOVE IT!
And I completely feel you.
The main reason I won't hire a baby-sitter or even let family watch the little one in our home is because it's a freaking hazmat area.
Or if I do, I mostly tidy up and throw all of the loose ends in our bedroom. Except, I never seem to clean up those loose ends when guests leave.
So.Incredibly.Bad.Right.Now. 🙁
Sending virtual hugs to you Crystal, I know Exactly how you feel. I am guilty of this too so often.
YEP. Me too. Piling up as we speak. And I don’t have little ones at home.
HA HA, I am right there with you. Me and a co-worker joke that we clean like the presidents coming over whenever our “perfect” sisters come over. I just don’t know how she does it, or how the “clean gene” skipped me!
Wow, I wish I was perfect. 🙂 I will admit, I should have locked MY door this morning before my Mother In Law saw it… EVERYTHING ON THE FLOOR in front of my entertainment center in my room …sheets, 3 sets of clothing that the baby spit up all over… 3 of my shirts that were spit up all over… 2-3 towels… 2 boxes of diapers… a laundry basket of clean stuff that needs to go upstairs… yeah.. it's lal there..
Hi Nony, I've been going through your archives over the last few weeks, and now that I'm done I wanted to be polite and say 'hello'. So, "Hello!" 🙂
I chose to hunt this post down though, because I too have a special needs child. In fact he is the second of five children (aged 9 through 1), and we home school, and we live on an acre of land and have screeds of animals to care for, and we own another ten acres where we plan to build eventually, but for now we have 20 odd sheep on it and it's lambing season, and my kids have various food issues so I have to cook EVERYTHING from scratch EVERY day, and, and, and….
And I'm a messy. Always have been. Always will be (though I get better at working around it, just like you are).
And I don't consider my life any harder than yours, nor do I consider your life harder than mine. Different? Yes. Easier or harder? No.
Thank you for blogging your journey. I hope it stays a safe place for you.
I’m hoping you’ve figured out how to unlock your bedroom door, but to me it looks like a simple lock. If the lock is a pushbutton, try poking in something thin and strong (like the tippet of a shoelace, or an allen wrench, or coffee stick) into the center hole on the knob. If it is a 1/4 twist lock, find a tiny tiny flat head screwdriver and use that in the hole and give a quick twist. Once you find the tool that works, tape it to the topside of the door jamb. You never know when a kid will lock themselves in. Also very handy for bathroom doors!
If it’s the pushbutton style, I found that a sucker stick works great!
Nony, Thank you, thank you, thank you for writing this blog. I have been following it for a while now, and trying to read it from the beginning as you have suggested. I am trying to recover from a lifetime of stuffing stuff in drawers, in my closet, in out of the way places….. I guess you would call me a closet slob…. clean on the surface, but messy underneath…. and I truly appreciate your blog and the relief that it offers to someone like me….
Thank you! I’m always amazed at how many people out there relate to my struggles!
I just had to come back to this old post and tell you about what happened to me the other night. 🙂 I, too, fall into the camp of making sure the master bedroom door is securely shut when company comes over. I can’t lock it– seven people in the family (including 2 preschoolers and a hubby with what has to be the tiniest bladder+a pop addiction) and we need access to that bathroom on a moment’s notice! Well, our regular hosts for small group were headed out of town so I volunteered to host at our house. Expected company is like a deadline for me to get SOMETHING clean around here. And as you know, small group clean is much easier than mother-in-law clean. 😉 So of course, I had closed off the master bedroom/bathroom. Wouldn’t you know it? A visiting 3 yr old is occupying the one other bathroom, and a friend’s contact popped out! “Do you need saline solution?”, I offered. “I have some in my bathroom.” Imagine my dismay when she FOLLOWED me into the bedroom towards said bathroom! Luckily, she is a kind enough friend to pretend she couldn’t see anyways due to her contact problem. 😀
anonymous is just that, they didn’t want you to know who they are because they knew might find out the truth about them. Don’t sweat what some people think you can’t handle that they can. She probably has more struggles than just having a child that needs extra help and two other children. It sounds like that she does all of this by herself but she has no one to help her. You on the other hand, has so much help from family and friends that love you that you don’t have to put someone down online to feel better about yourself.
Love it! I do that too, but luckily I have a key.
I do the same thing. My room is the messiest… And when quick cleaning for my sitter I put everything in there and lock the door. Also— it’s one less room the sitter has to chase my kids in and out of! Ha!
Me too. We have come so far in the last couple of years but I absolutely don’t have a babysitter in my home. Ever. Because I’m just too embarrassed of the clutter. I can honestly say though that I’m almost ready to change that. The habits we’ve been developing (starting with dishwasher!) are so valuable. I love that we have a much tidier home these days!
Hi Nony,
I have been enjoying your blog for a few years now. At first, I didn’t understand what it’s purpose was. Why was a slob giving advice to others? But now I understand it much more. I have no trouble keeping my house clean and organized, it’s my most favorite thing to do, in fact. However, I truly enjoy getting your perspective on things and your pod casts are entertaining. I always look forward to your posts.
Ya – totally get it. For some reason, my room becomes the ‘storage spot’. And I have a hubby, that for 25 years – twenty five years – of me trying to put things in his dresser, he likes things on top. He has the weirdest pattern for wearing his clothes. So it looks like there are piles of dirty clothes all over. When ever I change his system, he can’t find a key component to his outfit for the day. Sigh. Did I mention 25 years? how many mornings is that. And our room is about 12×12. I’m into tiny spaces – but good gravy. ha. No excuses, but our room is a safe haven for us, we are deeply in love, and I make sure to close that door as soon as a car even considers turning into our driveway. 🙂
Nony… I have a suggestion for you… if you still have the lock with no key…on your next run to the hardware store pick up a new one. Since you will have to take it off anyhow to get in you might as well replace it with a new one and then you will have a key. Tada!! We have a lock on our doors also… thought it wasn’t originally used for this purpose we do indeed lock the bedroom door and downstairs door when people come over.
I am so there with you! The other day I had a babysitter coming at 9 am. Well, she showed up at 8 am! Of course, I had planned to frantically straighten and clean before she got here and had no time to do that. Had to swallow some pride and let her in the house anyway. 🙂
I have a lock like this. My key……the plastic straw from a juice box. Works perfectly!
I can so relate to this post !! Thank you!
I am 69, retired and live alone and of course my house always looks perfect. I also have OCD and things HAVE to be perfect. Some of my friends hate to come over because my little pad is very intimidating to someone who has kids, a job, and just a busy life. It makes me feel bad. But then I do have friends who consider my home an oasis in the midst of their chaos. I enjoy reading your blog, it entertains me and I sometimes learn something. I am always looking for cleaning tips etc.
My mother was a “normal” wife, but after her divorce she just quit. She also became a horder, and that is what I grew up in. Not using her as an excuse but that is what I knew. My husband is a clean freak, go figure. I have gotten a lot better at trying to keep the house clean and he helps a lot yet I don’t consider myself normal yet
I have a disaster in my garage and another disaster in a spare bedroom. I’m still working on those. The sad thing is that some of my messes become invisible. My husband and I struggle together on this. I’m trying to attack my messes one pile at a time. He is so supportive. Whenever I reorganize something, he notices and compliments me on the change. You inspire me to attack those piles of stuff. Feeling blessed.