Thanks for all of your well-wishes yesterday for my first year of blogging. While yesterday I completed a full year, today’s officially my first Blogiversary! I remember when I first started blogging, seeing other bloggers say that and thinking of my own as a not-truly-achievable-way-off-in-the-future event.
But it’s HERE!
Before you get your hopes up, let me tell you . . . I have no giveaways.
Nope. Not a one.
While at the Savvy Blogging Summit, I practiced the art of “nodding and laughing knowingly” while people shared their crazy stories of PR pitches and requests for reviews/giveaways. Some of the stories were downright hysterical.
But I’ve never once been approached about anything like that. Not even The Classic Foot Flush
ANYway, in the spirit of trying to be like everyone else on THEIR blogiversaries, I thought I would make a top ten list of the things I could, and probably should give away . . . but won’t.
Alternate title for this post:
“Ten Things Only a Slob like Nony Would Ever Want to Keep”
Here goes:
(Please note that since all ten of these things are totally-unnecessary-although-treasured items, most are stuck in places where dusting doesn’t occur. I’m pretending that the dust isn’t noticable.)
10. A gorgeous set of red dishes meant to be used by the family member who has a reason to celebrate. The celebration could be for anything! A great report card, a homerun, a good deed that impressed your mama . . .
Given to us as a wedding present over 11 years and three kids ago, they’ve never been used. They’re stored in the laundry room cabinet and are rarely remembered. (Yes, that is some sort of toilet part next to them. Now, the intensive sanitization process that would be required to use them is just one more thing holding me back!)
4. Glass head sitting on a cluttered dresser. Looks a little spookier without its assigned wig.
3. My tiara from Thailand.
1. Are you ready for the #1 thing that serves no real purpose other than to give a slob joy? For this one, you should try to guess what it is before you read below.
Any guesses?
Why, it’s a toilet-paper-holder to be used on the tables at your wedding reception, of course!
I bought it when I was living in Thailand, planning my wedding that was to happen 20 days after I moved back to the States. In Thailand, the primary use for toilet paper is as napkins. The cardboard tube is removed from the middle, the roll is placed in a holder like this (though generally not so fancy). You pull the toilet paper out from the hole, unraveling it from its center, and use it to wipe your mouth.
Mm-hmmm.
Normal people might have taken a picture, or just remembered this rather interesting item and told the story of it to their friends back home.
But remember, I’m not normal.
So, Happy Blogiversary to ME! I hope you aren’t too terribly disappointed that I can’t bear to part with any of these totally-giveaway-worthy items!
I’m linking this up at Ohamanda’s Top Ten Tuesday.
BTW, Megan from Half-Pint-House really did do a review of the Foot Flush in her early blogging days.
LOL. Too funny.
Hilarious! Nony, happy blogging anniversary! I really love your honesty in all your posts. You're awesome, girlfriend!
Happy Blogiversary! Great non-gifts! 🙂
So funny, and congrats on 1 year…how exciting!
Glad I stopped by your blog today!
Oh my gosh, #1 is hilarious!!
Happy Blogiversary!
What a fun post! The alligator and his hide-it-at-someone's-house game have me thinking…. may be time for a new game in my extended family! 😉
Lo-ove it! I got to ask though – why all the tiaras and wigs. (I am new to the blog and catching up on things, so bear with me.)
I agree with Amy – the hide-it-at-someone's-house-game really appeals to my sneaky side. But I'm thinking it'd be funner not to tell the recipient about the game and just let them try and figure out where in the world that strange object game from.
Hee hee, glad you guys like this one!
DawnyGirl, the hiding game was started after a gag-gift Christmas party here. Someone got the alligator, and then later, while cleaning up (like three weeks later), I found it and its mate hidden in crazy places. So, now the goal is to re-hide it back and forth, not really saying anything about it.
As far as the wigs and tiaras . . . don't YOU have any?
Actually, I'm a former Theatre teacher, current church drama director, occasional performer, all-around stage-hog who just loves all things theatrical. Therefore, I tend to collect stuff like wigs, costume pieces, etc.
I am cracking up! This post was great… I love the way you wrote it 🙂
And, I'm so jealous you have red dishes.
Are you SURE you don't want to "give them away"? {hint, hint}
Happy Blog-aversary (or however you spell it!)
Great post, Nony! Love your blog. I read it every day. I just started blogging a couple months ago – I can't even fathom a year from now, wow. I'm still trying to figure out how many things I've forgotten today! Great job – keep it up!!
Great post! It totally cracked me up. I don't have any wigs but I do have a couple of tiaras kicking around. 😉
Ok. I have a red plate for the exact purpose of giving to the person who had the big day! It is even labeled around the edge and was purchased for "red plate" days. Clean them up and put your oldest child in charge of choosing who gets the red plate each week. He will remember to do it if you tell him it is his job to choose who gets it. Give your second child this responsibility in a few months and so on. Give away the other pieces. One red plate is all you need to tell someone they did a great job!
I know it's after midnight now, but Happy Blogiversary!!!!!! I'm so glad to have found your blog!!
I'm sorry to keep pestering you with comments this morning, but you are hilarious. I am in blog love with you. I am adding you to my blogroll. Don't get your hopes us though. This means that you should get an increase of at least one read a day. 🙂
Katrina, saying I'm hilarious and that you love my blog is not pestering. You could totally spam me with comments like that, and I would love it!
We had a red plate that our family loved using…until I broke it last week on my husband's birthday. I just kept it at the bottom of the stack of my normal dishes and would randomly pull it out to use. My boys loved getting to eat off it or planning to surprise Dad with it. We used it for birthdays, report cards, any type of celebration or special encouragement. We called it our "You are special" plate.
I’ve been thinking about doing the red plate thing, but it would probably end up being dusty like yours.
Meanwhile, I think I snorted out loud when I noticed all three of those clocks tell a different time….makes me feel better about my clock in the living room that says 11:20 all the time.
I did guess what the toilet paper holder was…but would never – not in a million years – have guessed that it was a wedding decoration. Amazing what is cool in one country would be considered not cool in another. 🙂
Happy very belated Anniversary.
I must have slob vision too! I have noticed the Christmas items on a shelf in our walk-in kitchen (which is a fancy way of saying living room/dining room with a 4’x5′ kitchen attached) several weeks ago. I said, if not one person mentions them to me, my mother included, I am leaving them for this year. So far, NADA! And they do need a dusting, like everything else on said shelf, but that can wait until I decorate for the holidays.
That sounds completely logical to me.
I wonder if you still have all of these items. I wonder if I will be able to let go of my equivalents.
Did I mention you’re my new hero? Actually that’s not true, I’ve never had a hero before, so you’re my first hero.
I would also love an update on how many of these things you still have!
Loving your blog – reading from the beginning.