My son – “But Mom, I just wore these undies a few days ago!” (I had to explain that I’m doing better on laundry now, and they really were clean.)
My husband (after spilling the dog’s water in the playroom) – “Seriously, we don’t have a single dirty towel in this house?”
My husband – “You’re doing so good. I really feel like we could have people show up at our house anytime, and it would be okay.”
I’ll admit, it’s nice to be noticed.
I realize it’s been a few years since this post, but i stumbled across your blog jus yesterday. I can’t believe no one commented on this post…. YAY YOU!
I think this is my favorite post of all (so far).
🙂
I love those kind of innocent, back door, compliments!
So fun. 🙂
The towel thing sounds so much like something my husband would say, lol! Good Job! 🙂
Thanks!
“Seriously, we don’t have a single dirty towel in this house?” That has got to be one of the best comments I’ve ever read. I’m going to be snickering over that one for a while. What great ways to frustrate and confound your family. 🙂
Hi,
Thank you for you. I found you about a week ago and felt like I was reading my own writing. The past 3 days my living room and kitchen and laundry has been clean. I can hear you in my head saying “Why make excuses?” I wanted my new years resolution to be a better housewife. You are going to get me there. I have no idea how far you have gone because I am reading backwards. It is working you are inspiring. Thank you for you. I am going to try and do my bathroom it scares me, 2 adults, and 3 kids(2,4,and 6) it is a scary place. I can do it No Excuses! You are helping me so much.
Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Welcome!!!
I laughed so hard reading these! I can relate. -Tabitha
Thanks for sharing their comments/compliments. I’ve been realizing how much I have desperately needed some of that for years and that my husband is NOT a cheerleader. His compliments are pretty much reserved for the incredibly-amazing-impossible feats; which, of course, never happen in real life. Especially in the chaotic exhausting life of a mom like me with too many kids and too many moves to have perfect order.
So I think I have resolved to let him know (nicely, of course), that I need help if I am to succeed; and ask him if he would give me positive encouragement, even if he is unable to give a sincere compliment. I’m NOT so blessed with such a sweet and understanding husband, he pretty much thinks it’s all my responsibility and that our marriage relationship and family life is terrible because I don’t want a clean, orderly home. I find myself spiraling into a type of depression and apathy and not getting anything done because it doesn’t matter how much I kill myself to make it better, I get NO positive encouragement or help but plenty of silence, ignoring, or mean words. For women in my situation, we probably need to be assertive and ask for the encouraging support we need–I hope others can do the same so they can stay motivated to improve their home as well as their relationship.
I just learned from reading “Men are from Mars, Woman are from Venus”, chapter 12, that most men do NOT respond well to the words, “can” and “could”, but do respond well to “will” and “would”–totally life changing after 20 years of marriage. I have no idea when or how often I used “incorrect wording”. Seriously, read that chapter–I read it to my 16 yr. old son and he totally agreed with it, although he had never realized he felt that way or why. Never mentioned it to my husband, have just been VERY careful what words I use and made sure to tell my older girls so they can start a good habit of it now. BIG difference–and all because I used “w” words instead of “c” words. I wish I knew more of those ridiculously simple things that make such an enormous difference.
I resolve to speak to him sometime after today (he’s on call today so he won’t be home much and will be pre-occupied and most likely very busy and very tired.) Crazy that that would be the best help to me right now in my struggle to a clean, orderly home! It’s such a process.
Here’s a post that might encourage you: http://www.aslobcomesclean.com/2012/12/hubby-did-the-laundry/
I understand your pain, Jennifer. My husband was talking divorce a few months ago because of the state of our home. I tried to explain I had slob vision, and I didn’t notice all the things that bothered him so much, but he thinks that’s ridiculous, that EVERYONE cleans up after themselves immediately, everyone sees the open cabinet door, or the dirty glass on the end table. I thought I was the only one who just didn’t notice that stuff until it was out of control. It’s been a process trying to retrain my slob brain. I love this blog because Dana never acts the martyr, she never complains about her husband, she understand how her head works and the excuses she makes to herself and refuses to accept it. You don’t have to be a slob. I was born a slob, but I can learn to be neater. I think all the same things as Dana does, but my outlook is no negative… I wish my husband would understand what a struggle this all is for me, and that what comes so naturally to him is 10x harder for me, and that it really is an incredibly-amazing-impossible feat. Dana is so positive and encouraging, and honest when she screws up, as we all do. It makes me feel like there’s hope for me too. I wish he’d say “I noticed” or “thank you” just once, but even if he doesn’t, I just keep trying to get better, and maybe he’ll see it someday. Or maybe my 2nd husband will think I’d just the best homemaker ever and never suspect I’m really a slob. 😉
Just started reading your blog from the beginning last night. Love love love it!! This post totally made me smile, I know it was a long time ago but yay go you!! 🙂
Hi Nony/Dana! I’m glad this post was run again because I just recently discovered your encouraging blog, etc., and I also wanted to compliment you! I began struggling with organization at home shortly after my first child’s birth and it has ebbed and flowed since then, so I can imagine how hard and long you worked to get to the point where you got these “compliments” from your family. You KEEP going girl!!!
Thank you for sharing your trials and triumphs with those of us who can relate, and are encouraged by your progress!!