I’m so excited that I’ve had several comments lately! I guess I can no longer say that no one is reading my blog.
Of course, I feel panic along with that excitement. What if I can’t keep it up? I fully expect to have times of failure, but I’m in this for the long haul, so I’m determined to keep going, one dirty dish at a time. Or 30 dirty dishes at a time. Whatever it takes.
I had a comment yesterday asking about my kids’ ages. I started to just respond, but then thought I should write a post.
I have lots of excuses. Each phase of life seems to bring some great ones along with it. As a kid, I was “just a kid.” In college I was too busy having fun to worry about having an orderly dorm room.
When I had an apartment by myself, I started to realize something was really wrong with me. I had always dreamed of setting up a new home. I even lived overseas so I HAD to buy everything to furnish it. I would buy fun, cute things but then they got lost in the clutter. This was the first time that I really cared about having a nice home, but it wasn’t happening.
Once I got married, I thought that would be enough motivation. I had dreams of a cute little place where we could invite friends over for impromptu get-togethers and I would serve homey delicious meals to my new husband every night, sometimes with candlelight. Instead, we had an entire extra room of our apartment piled to the ceiling with boxes full of stuff. Always with the excuse that we would need it when we got a house. For dinner, we would shove the piles of clutter to one end in order to eat. If we had people over, it involved our entire Saturday being spent cleaning. And still I lived in fear that they would open the master bedroom door. But hey, I was working full time, a theatre teacher with lots of rehearsals outside school, so I was rarely home to keep things organized. Surely, once I had kids and stayed home, I would have nothing else to do but keep things neat and orderly. FINALLY, I would be organized.
Then we had babies. I soon realized that babies mean you spend the entire day working with absolutely nothing to show for it. Maybe not even a shower. I finally got the hang of babies, toddlers, etc, but the house just got worse and worse. I had tons of stuff, and babies have more. My small amount of control was gone. I lay things in odd places without thinking and then they are hard to find. But before kids, at least they stayed in the odd place until I found them. With kids, things walk away.
So where am I now? My kids are 7, 6, and 3. For the first time I have only one child at home with me during the school day. So yes, it is a bit easier because the one at home has no one to wrestle with, throw things at, etc.
My reality, however, is that I can’t wait for a new phase of life to solve my problems. I am the problem. I’ve been waiting through many different phases and the problem has only gotten worse and worse. The common factor in each phase/situation is me. I am the one who has to change. I’ve been waiting and searching for motivation and a magic wand, when I should have spent that time doing dishes and folding laundry.
I hope this doesn’t sound preachy. Please remember that I’m being very self-centered with this blog. I do have dreams of someday getting this thing figured out and being able to help others, but for now, I am at the very beginning of this journey, and if you’re reading, you are along for the ride. I’m realizing that whatever phase of life I’m in, this will always be a struggle for me. Having young kids makes it difficult for anyone, even naturally organized people, and really close to impossible for someone like me. But it isn’t impossible. I’m learning day by day that the little bitty things I’m doing are making a huge impact.
Anonymous says
This post hits home so much! I am finally becoming aware that there will never be a perfect time to… I just need to make the most with the time and recources I have. Again, thank you for your honesty. I feel like I am looking in a mirror when I read this blog. I am doing what you suggested and going back and reading this entire site backwards. It is so encouraging to read about your progress. Go you!
Erin says
This is so me right now. Too many excuses. It’s just time to do something about it.
I guess I’ll go do the dishes . . .
Christie says
OH.MY.HECK. You ARE me! Right down to having been a theatre teacher and having an extra room full of junk as a newlywed! My kids are currently 6,4, and 2. I am LOVING your blog and finding so much hope and inspiration. Little by little I am figuring it out, slowly, painfully, figuring out the things that seem to be so obvious to so many…like that dishes need to be done every day, and that when the trash is full it takes a lot less time to empty it than it does to pick up all the junk that falls out when it can no longer be squashed down.
Marti says
I found your blog through pinterest and I’m hooked. I’ve been reading your blog backwards all morning. But I do have to say, just this very second while reading this post, I likened your struggle with your messy tendencies (I’m messy too) to my struggle with my weight. Ive been waiting for a magic wand something to motivate me. What I’ve taken from your inspiring words is to do the baby steps to build the foundation on which to thrive. Thank you! Thank you!
Nony says
I’m glad you found me! And yes, the struggles are so-very-similar!!
Kelley G says
This is an old post but this fits me currently. I have a three kids 6,5, and 2 and this is the first time when the older two are in school all day. I have been trying to get better about things since they went back and now have found your blog (which is almost a mirror of my own life) trying to keep motivated !!!
Fiona N says
I just found your blog and am reading it from the start. I’m just like you in so many ways, it’s like you are mirroring my life, and I am amazed how many others feel the same. But you are leading the charge to change, and being a wonderful inspiration to us, so THANK YOU for all the painful, shameful, honest things you have shared.
Nony says
Thank you for thanking me. Really, it means so much to me.
Fiona says
Ahh yes, I identify with this so much! I remember (YEARS AGO) trying to do Flylady, and at one point I was pregnant and convinced myself until AFTER I had the baby to get started. Seriously? Because that would be EASIER? (I think that was my third too…). Errm that “baby” is now almost 11… ho hum. I’m just getting started again. Thanks for your blog, it’s very inspiring. I’ve actually started my own (Although I waffle on a whole lot more… about rubbish most of the time… I don’t ever expect anyone to read it, it just helps keep me accountable).
KAC says
“I am the Problem” with a capital P. This really hits home because I’ve said it to my husband so many times. He’s really sweet in that he tries to help with suggestions and stuff, but I keep telling him that if I don’t fix the underlying problem (aka: ME) then I’ll just keep failing. Thanks so much for this blog.
Heather Anderson says
This post totallly made me tear up. May be the brutal honesty and the mirror I feel like I’m looking in, it may be the post partum hormones (my baby is 3 weeks today). As I sit here nursing him, reading your blog, which was sent to me by a fellow slob, I am seeing my house in a while new light. I am reading from the beginning and taking every bit in. In the last few months I have started my “non-negotiables”, though that’s not what I called them and I am slowly seeing the difference.Thank you! For your honesty, and for helping me be accountable.
Heather Anderson says
Oh and I for got to say I am a SAHM of 5, ages 7, 5, 3, 20 months, and 3weeks.
Maxine says
I am reading ur blog from the beginning an it’s amazing!! I feel like I could write this myself. I love to see I’m not the only one with this type of comment either so that’s very reassuring. I am always laughing out loud and I just love your blog! Keep up the awesome work
Dana White says
Welcome, Maxine!!
leah murtha says
really love the blog, its helping inspire me as i get started on the whole stay at home mom life i’m discovering..
Dawn says
From my whole heart… Thank you Dana. God bless you!❤️