Yesterday, I shared my opinion on hiring house cleaners.
Today, I’m sharing an AWESOME email I got from one of you recently. The minute I got this email, I asked if I could share it as a guest post.
I knew all of these things to be true, but it means so much more coming from someone who is living it. Who speaks from experience.
I’m not sharing the author’s name by her request. (I totally understand since I didn’t share my own name for two years here.)
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Hi Nony!
I just found you recently on iTunes and now subscribe to your blog as well. You and I are very similar in our “cleaning” styles. I relate so much to what you talk about and have struggled for MANY years (since my messy bedroom as a child). I could go on, but I’m writing this to tell you about having a housekeeper.
I am married to someone who grew up in an immaculate home and with the belief that keeping things “nice” is a moral issue, not simply a preference. (Maybe that’s an exaggeration…) We’ve always struggled with housework as a couple and it has been a constant strain on our marriage from the beginning. By the time the second baby was born it reached a fever pitch and something had to change. We got a housekeeper…
A weekly housekeeper.
Don’t all of us who struggle in this area believe that if we only had a housekeeper all our problems would be solved? I know I did! So that was two years ago and here I am reading your blog. Not to say housekeepers are useless… She still comes once a week and I LOVE her. She has improved the quality of our lives immensely, but I still struggle. I thought it may be helpful for you (and potentially your readers) to see what having a housekeeper can (and cannot) do for you.
1. She CLEANS your house, but she can’t clean if your cr*p is covering every surface and floor in your house. Which means every week I run around and yell at my kids for two hours before she comes. It never fails that I put this off until the last minute.
2. The house looks and smells amazing when she leaves. And that lasts for up to twelve hours as long as everyone is asleep for most of that time. Then by the next day, the kitchen is a disaster, the floors are covered in toys and the garbage can smells, again.
3. She does dishes, but not a full weeks dishes. You still need to wash your dishes everyday, and do your laundry and clean off the table and sweep the floor…
4. She costs money: we pay her $70 a week. There are times I think it is ridiculous to pay someone to clean our house.
5. She does not declutter.
BUT….
5. Our house gets completely “company ready” every week.
6. I have the comfort of knowing that pile of dirty clothes has never been there for more than a week.
7. I haven’t cleaned a shower or bathtub in over two years AND they both are clean!!
8. When I have to run around because company is coming (which I still do), I’m done much quicker and clearing off the bathroom counter reveals a clean sink and counter rather than a disgusting mess.
9. It has improved my marriage. It is the one day a week we don’t argue about the house. (Maybe another exaggeration…)
10. The daily tasks from ASlobComesClean.com still come in handy and help the rest of the week run much more smoothly. Or at least I hope they will if I can actually get through a full week of doing them!
Thanks for all you do for those of us who think like you!
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I love this real-life perspective. Do you have a housekeeper? Have you always dreamed that one would solve all your problems??
For the record, I think the “cons” are really just reality-checks.
Several have asked how to find a cleaner. My best advice is to ask people you know. I hired someone to clean for a HUGE party once, and this was what I did. I was VERY surprised to find out that so many of my friends had regular cleaning people. This is the best way to find someone local, with a reference, who is hopefully trustworthy.
--Nony
Shoeaholicnomore says
Great points! I agree with them. I have a house cleaner and she comes by-weekly just to help me keep up, which means I have to do spot cleaning and touch-up between her visits, but it works for me and costs me less than having her come every week.
Rhonda H. says
If I win the lottery, one of the first things I’m doing is hiring a housekeeper. Maybe once a week, maybe more. 🙂
Julie says
Totally agree! We hired a cleaning service a few years ago primarily because it forces us to declutter the place every 2 weeks instead of letting everything pile up for eternity. I am a confessed slob and by the end of 2 weeks the place is a mess again, but at least I know everything gets a good cleaning twice a month. Worth every penny as far as I am concerned!
Megan S. says
I can relate to this post. Both my husband and I struggle with our slobbish housekeeping habits but as I child we had a housekeeper that came bi-weekly. My mom has always been a neat freak so most of the house stayed immaculate in between cleanings and my brothers and I still had chores but my bedroom was a whole different story. You could rarely see the floor. Every other Friday my mom would scream at us to get the stuff off the floors, counters and desk tops so our housekeeper could dust and vacuum. The majority of the time that meant our beds were piled high with clothes, shoes and whatever else was laying around. As much as I would love a housekeeper now in my adult life, I know it wouldn’t solve any of my problems. I would just be stuffing things in the closet so my home could be vacuumed.
Ti Anderson says
Excellently said Anonymous! There’s only two of us right now and I’m only working part time while my lovely fiance pays the bills so we definitely don’t need and can’t afford extra help. But maybe someday when I’m overwhelmed with little ones I’ll be able to 😉
D says
I have a housekeeper come in once every 3 weeks, specifically to deep clean the bathrooms and mop the floors. I have a horrible back, and would be in debilitating pain for days after I would do the above mentioned chores. I still have to pick up and do light cleaning, but realized for my health, I had to have help with the heavy stuff.
Sharon says
Yes, a hundred times, yes. We have a house cleaner who comes monthly (used to be bi-weekly but we had to cut expenses), and while it is nice to have help with the “heavy” cleaning, you still have to keep up with the daily stuff and pick up your clutter if you want your house to look good.
Annie says
Just so you know (again), this blog is like my AA group. Not that I’m in AA. But it’s like that. Hi my name is Annie and I am a Slob. Hard to say it!!! But there it is. And I am SOOOOOOOOO glad I’m not alone!! I have felt very alone in my life of very clean people or at least rather neat people, or even people who are messy but don’t mind cleaning. And then all those mothers who complain their house is a mess because there’s *gasp* 10 toys on the floor!!!!! Very very very alone. Very judged. Very overwhelmed. Very beaten down. Very very overwhelmingly discouraged. So, thank you. Thank you all for having the courage to post and air your dirty laundry. (Literally!) This is such therapy to my soul.
Megan S. says
I totally feel you! I am not yet a mother but I’m terrified about how much worse my mess will become once I have children. Everyone knows they are not allowed to just stop by my house. Even my dad, who lives right across the street (literally, I can see his house from my bedroom), knows he isn’t allowed to just drop by. It weighs on me a lot and is so embarrassing.
Mary S says
You are for sure not alone! I found Nony by Google “how to keep things clean when you are a slob”!
Amy C. says
I couldn’t agree with you more! Ive always been messy and so is my husband and it bothers him even less than it bothers me. It was always a mad dash to clean up whenever someone came over, but we were (barely) hanging on until the 3rd kid arrived. Now we have 4 kids and I feel completely defeated because they can undo things so much faster than I can do them. I wasn’t sure what happened between #2 and #3 until recently. When #3 was a baby, #1 went to kindergarten. She has special needs and up to that point we had therapists coming to our house every week, so I had to keep things at least somewhat picked up.
I’ve been promising myself for years that when I got the house clean enough I would hire someone to clean, but so far I haven’t managed to get it clean enough to hire someone to clean. I even hired a professional organizer once, but when I saw that the first 3 hour session barely made a dent, I realized that I can’t afford that.
Ell says
It really depends on what you want and what you can keep up.
I’m a personal cleaner/organizer and the two jobs are very different. Some people expect you to come in and clean all of their junk out. I tell people that I can not clean a surface unless I can see it.
The best rule of thumb is if you can afford it and help your cleaner to get her job done faster and more efficiently ( cleaning a tidy kitchen can take 40 minutes where a cluttered one can take hours ) then go for it! It’s a wonderful gift to yourself and can take so much pressure off of you.
Shelby says
It’s soooo nice to hear I am not the only one that runs around like a fool in the hours before our cleaning crew comes! We’ve had them biweekly for 5 years, and every.single.time. I swear I will get my s$it together in advance! I think that has happened twice. I end up shoving stuff in closets, the laundry room, the garage….even the trunk of my car! And then it all comes out again over the next two weeks, and rinse and repeat. But at least the house gets clean and I still have dreams that one day, we will be clutter free 😉
Katydid says
Every single woman I work with who has someone come in to clean is a minimum slightly less calm the morning the cleaner comes. I’ve never seen that in a man.
Stacy says
She nailed it. I have a weekly housekeeper in order to keep the peace in my marriage. It is what keeps him sane because I have never professed to being a person who will willing clean (or cook, but that’s a different topic). LOL So yes, she completely nailed it, particularly yelling at the kids to “clean up” before the “cleaning lady” gets here. LOL. That was like someone was observing my house! 😉
Lisa says
One con to a housekeeper is that the children don’t really learn how to maintain a home without one. This is ONE of the reasons I didn’t know how to make a good housekeeping routine (most of the reasons are my own). So, if you hire a housekeeper, be sure to still help your children learn how to maintain a home in their adulthood (or at least pay for their housekeeper, lol).
Gayle says
I agree. I was going to say this, also. My youngest, especially, could hardly be persuaded to clean her bathroom or make her bed, because she knew the cleaner would do it. Now, as a young mother, her husband has to tell her she must get the house clean before going out of town with me. She has a real problem with daily routines. Lack of training on my part, I know… but I did try, a few times. 🙁
Anyway, if you have a housecleaner, I would recommend not having her clean the children’s rooms, and use bribery or whatever it takes to train them in good habits. Good habits are not reinforced as much in our lives as they were 50 years ago… but they sure can make life a lot easier, if we will only learn them! My personal goal is to, ONE DAY, hear my husband say that he doesn’t think we need our cleaner any more.
Karen T says
EXACTLY!! I would spend all my time picking up, and not get to the cleaning. My girl comes in every Wed, my Tuesday evening is written into my calendar for clean up……but as she says my baths, floors and cobwebs are all taken care of 🙂
Brittani says
I’m about to have my cousin clean once a week for me. She will sweep and mop, dust and wipe, and may even clean a window or two. She won’t be crap moving or bathroom scrubbing. I am helping her (with cash) and she me. I can’t wait!
Susan in England says
I look at this from both sides, having employed a cleaner and having worked as a cleaner.
When I got promoted at work and had even less hours or inclination to do housework, my husband and I employed a cleaner. I spent all of my pay increase on having the cleaner but it was worth it. It was better than worry about the dust. But the very first day that I was at work and I knew she was in my home, doing ‘my’ cleaning was very weird. It was also weird to find that she washed the duster every time she used it. I never knew you washed dusters. I just used them until they were not fit for any more, threw them away and got another one. And yes, it did make me tidy up before she came, on the basis I was paying her to clean, not to tidy. Unfortunately, when she decided to give it up I never had time to think about replacing her and the dust descended again.
Many years later, when I’d burnt out at work and was no longer capable of high level management jobs, I hired myself out as a cleaner. My family, knowing my aversion to cleaning, thought it was a hoot, but I’m perfectly capable of cleaning, I’d just never had the time or energy after work, or there had always been more interesting things to do.
Over time I worked for several families and it was quite an eye opener. Every one had different expectations of what a cleaner would do. Some people were a delight to work for, others were horrible and I didn’t stay very long. And yes, people should tidy up before the cleaner gets there. Paying a cleaner to tidy instead of clean is a total waste of time and money. I left one place simply because I just couldn’t get at surfaces to clean them. Provide the cleaner with decent tools to do the job. At one place I wasn’t happy about the old fashioned heavy vacuum cleaner and they bought a lovely a new one which made a world of difference to the job.
However, I have to say that I was the cleaner with attitude. I was there to do a job, do it well and not to be looked down on. I expected respect for what I did.
Brigitte says
Speaking as a physically disabled person, I simply can’t GET to all the cleaning. And my partner can’t keep up as well as working full time at a job that’s quite physically taxing. I’d be really, really happy if I could hire a housekeeper just for the deep cleaning jobs. If my partner and I could focus on picking up after ourselves and let someone else scrub the tub, that would be great. That being said, if I ever become independently wealthy, “picking up after myself” wouldn’t involve washing dishes because I’d pay someone to do that too. I keep being told I should qualify for housekeeping service through my medical plan or state aid, but no one can seem to figure out how to arrange that.
All that being said, if I can make that happen before I have kids, I’m definitely expecting to be telling them over and over again that “we pay the housekeeper to clean, not tidy.” They can still learn to put their clothes into the laundry hamper and I really don’t expect that we would never do laundry with a housekeeper around so they’ll still learn that, too. I’m happy to wash and dry the laundry (and prefer doing it myself rather than trusting my clothes to someone else) if only I had someone to fold it and hang stuff on hangers as appropriate. I think it’s totally possible to balance having a housekeeper with making sure kids learn how to clean their own house. First and foremost, the first time my kid gets mouthy about picking up after themself because we have a housekeeper or condescending toward the person who is making our lives a lot more comfortable, the housekeeper is getting a month paid vacation time while that kid does all the housekeeping duties. They’ll learn how to do it, they’ll learn that it takes time away from other things like going out with friends, and that it’s hard work. The part where we don’t treat people like dirt for the job they do is a different lesson that doing the job won’t teach, but at least that method has other lessons.
Tanya says
Ok, I am getting a bi-weekly house cleaner. I think I would keep the house a lot clear, at least picked up if I had someone coming. But, man I bet those 2 weeks fly by fast. I think it would be worth it to not have to worry about bathtubs, showers, dust, & cobwebs… Oh could I go on & on.
layla says
My mom has a housekeeper that comes weekly. Growing up, my brother and I were always expected to help her, so she would give us tasks to do (dust, clean windows, etc). Our rooms were also not included in her cleaning list, so we had to make sure they were tidy and clean ourselves. We used to clean our rooms as she did the rest of the house,and then go help her with whatever else needed doing. Benefits to that are we learned how to clean, and because we were helping do some of the “easier” cleaning, she had more time freed up to do a deeper cleaning of other parts of the house.
Gayle says
THAT was a great plan!! 🙂
K Yocum says
My mother is one of those NEAT people. Growing up, I lived in fear of missing the hamper that was INSIDE my closet.
Even now, I’ll move stuff from one surface to another to wipe counters, faucets, handles, & surfaces. I’ll sweep, scrub (hands & knees), dust & vacuum. But it still always seems like it’s a disaster.
My problem is it’s me against a slob of a husband & 3 kids. And I’m positive I spend 95% of their waking hours telling them to put stuff away because I refuse to put their stuff away for them. And when I can’t get to something to clean it, I walk past it.
I throw stuff away & FILL our trash tote weekly. I take at least one box to Goodwill a week! Seems like there’s always MORE!
My mother comes over to help me & just gets disgusted & I feel like a failure, even though I work on it for at least an hour a day. And this is with the oldest working on laundry & the middle child working on dishes, & the youngest is supposed to keep her toys picked up & the laundry out of the hall.
I wish I could afford a housekeeper, maybe having someone there would inspire them to keep it clean. They wonder why I tell them no about friends coming over. *sigh*
Jan says
So.. My mother-in-law was always choked when she came over cause our house was not cleaned to her standards. Nor my husbands now that I think of it.. Anyways, at first I got mad, mixed with a whole bunch of other emotions.then, after a few years if she said anything I basically handed her the broom. And she did clean.. Willingly. But with 4 children i had a different agenda. When my youngest started school, I got a part time job..cleaning houses. Some times I wanted to walk away from them but knowing I was helping kept me going. Sometimes when they were home I would help declutter, teach their kids to make their beds, and when I was finished for the day time permitting we would have coffee. I got a new perspective on a few things, but overall.. My children still come first.. Before cleaning the house
momstheword says
I love this post because many years ago I had someone clean my home every week to every other week. It was back when I could afford it and back when I was a slob and before I pulled myself out of slobdom, lol!
Now I clean my friend’s home once a week. And this post is so right. It really does take much longer if I have to clean around clutter. It started taking me a lot longer to clean because her kids would leave stuff all over the bathroom and all over the floors and counter tops in other rooms.
So my friend decided to start charging her kids for all the extra time I was cleaning. They started keeping their things picked up immediately when it became a money issue, lol!
Theresa says
I can’t even express how true this is! I had a housekeeper and she doesn’t clean up your clutter, but she does make sure your toilet isn’t disgusting ever week. This was a great, realistic perspective on having a housekeeper. Thanks for keeping it real.
Joy Clark says
I have a lovely lady who comes and does two hours once a fortnight – we tend to call them cleaners over here in the UK. It’s just enough to help me keep the place reasonable for the remaining 13 days and it works for me brilliantly. I make sure it’s OK tidy before she comes and because of that it tends to stay OK tidy for the fortnight.
J x
Kathy says
Over my 35+ years of marriage, I have had a housekeeper when circumstances warranted and finances allowed and it was a God-send. As I approach 60, I would like to have a housekeeper again even tho I’m no longer working and there are no children in our home – except for occasional visits by our 8 year old grandson. It would free up time for other things in my life. My problem is I expect to get my money’s worth.
I am willing to tidy before the housekeeper arrives by clearing all the surfaces and emptying trash and recycle bins. But I expect to get the four-man hours for which I paid and a thorough job done on the bathrooms, floors, kitchen and dusting.
My last housekeeper experience was a two-man team who came in weekly while I was on crutches following surgery. They were in and out within 45 minutes (1.5 man hours) and they barely surfaced cleaned – allowing scum to grow under the basket that held shampoo in the tub, around the faucet handle in the shower and under half of the toilet bowl rim. Picture frames were only dusted around instead of lifted and an antique ash tray was broken with only a “sorry” from the owner. If I’m going to pay for a service, I feel I should not have to police as well.
In the meantime, I found a chart that I customized for myself that keeps the house tidy on a daily basis and gets deeper cleaning items rotated through approximately every three weeks.
Carrie says
Oh my word! When I was pregnant with my second, she kicked my hip out of place so I couldn’t do my housework as well! I hired my 16 yr old cousin to come and help me clean! We got some deep cleaning done and some light but I do miss her coming! Maybe I should get her to come again cause even tho I have lots of decluttering done I still hate to dust! Haha!!
Jennifer says
just after i read this (and the previous) post the first time, I mentioned to my husband the idea of hiring a maid service for my parents as a christmas gift (not that i’m any better than them, but i wanted to float the idea past him before i asked for one for us). this nearly resulted in a knock-down-drag-out brawl. I couldn’t believe how incensed he became by the idea of hiring someone else to clean one’s own home. his assertion was that not keeping clean was just “laziness” and that all one needed to do was “get off your lazy ass and clean your damn house”…. when I tried to point out to him that our house was no better, and he was at least 50% of the problem, he flat out ignored me. Don’t get me wrong, i love my husband, and most of the time he’s great… but he has the same slob-problems i do, only he’s in denial of them.
Tanya says
We had a mother/2 daughter team come do floors and bathrooms in our large house every two weeks. I so miss it. Our finances changed and that hasn’t happened in over a year and a half. I would love to have them back again! We picked up and it was a great habit to be in. We put all the chairs up on the table and the ottomans on the couch so they could quickly sweep and vacuum.
Kari says
I was a work at home mom doing Monogramming almost full time and 3 babies for many years, 7. Had a house keeper every other week.
Now we opened a retail shop and I told my husband I couldn’t do it all anymore, she comes every week. It has brought peace to our home and leaves time for other things as a family.
Money well spent at this house! I still have to pick up a LOT but the cleaning part is clean without me trying to keep it going.
Robyn says
Agree with the Cleaner on every step. I have had several over the years as my husband likes clear and tidy but does nothing to help. Maybe hangs some clothes on the line -badly, but I say nothing.
A cleaner with the skill to work with clutter is a true Godsend. Of course you want to get best value for her time but, as stated, I know the surface underneath is clean. I even clean that way. Lift and replace! Part of the struggle is the excess stuff but that comes back to my head. Now That needs a Cleaner through it!
Raani says
I hired a cleaning person once. She did a terrible job, and I was secretly glad. Very theraputic somehow.
I have found that I can get a lot done in the hour and a half before the kids get up. Then I delegate the rest.
PJ says
I know this is an old article, but I just listened to your podcast about hiring someone to clean your house. First, I am very much like you, and I get a lot out of reading your blog (and ebooks). A few years ago I was ill for an extended period of time and spent much of my time in bed. My two kids were still at home. My husband did a lot but our house was still a disaster. We hired cleaners to come in every other week. It did help SO much. But in order to get ready for the maids, I would go from room to room and load all the clutter into laundry baskets (notice that is baskets plural!) and put them all in one room that I would tell the maids not to clean! This was a different room each time they came. So I had baskets full of clutter that moved from room to room and got fuller every week! Well here we are several years later. My health is much better and we no longer have anyone come in to clean. My youngest child is a junior in college. I have done a lot of decluttering and finally have emptied all the baskets! But I still tend to leave piles of clutter here and there and never seem to get the whole house clean at one time. Guess it’s hard to change our basic natures, but progress is possible. I really appreciate you and your blog. You’ve helped me a lot, especially in learning to accept that I don’t have to be just like my friends who keep perfect houses.
Robyn says
Yes. My husband thinks that his contribution to housework is paying a cleaner to make my life easier. It does but – bulletin!- I am untidy. Big time. He also does not criticise or question ( maybe I should say ” any longer” as my memory must have faded.
It’s about more than a perfect house.
Haley Coler says
I think it’s important to have perspective on this. I can’t afford to have a regularly-scheduled housekeeper, plus I stay at home with my children so I have a hard time justifying it. Buuuuuuut, as spring is rounding the corner, I am starting to see the dirt on the walls and the grubby marks along the baseboards and I just know I won’t get to all of it by myself. So I am looking into hiring a housekeeper for a one-time cleaning.
Lena says
I have a housekeeper coming each Monday, Wednesday and Friday, it is something I am just so grateful for. As you said, still I do few things by myself but all the major work is off my shoulders. I do love her and I can even say we became kind of friends although we don’t speak the same language.
I wish to always have a housekeeper to do it for me, such person at home improves quality of your life 100%.
Kylie Dotts says
I really like how you said that because of a housekeeper the pile of dirty laundry will never have been there for more than a week. My kids love to leave piles of laundry all over their rooms and sometimes in my room too but because I am always running errands it’s hard for me to keep up with the demand sometimes. Maybe we’ll have to ask around and see if there is anybody who could give us a recommendation for a housekeeper that would be good to hire.
Lennroe says
In our household ut was actually my boyfriend who suggested we could have someone to come to clean. But I talked him out off it, as I exactly know that dirt is not our problem. When a kitchen or bathroom are mess, they are not dirty it’s mostly just stuff and the cleaning itself is actually easy and does not take much time, it’s the clutter that makes mess and you cannot really hire someone tu declutter and put your stuff away. So I’m pretty sure a lot of people get disappointed, when they expect a cleaner to solve their problem and he/she does not.
Mary Reynolds says
I’m 79, husband 82. He retired early because of stress and was seriously injured three years later. He’s done fantastic but most heavy work falls on me. Last few years my health and energy has gone downhill. My hoarding has gotten out of hand, I can do most day to day cleaning but have hired a house cleaner come in every two to three weeks to the heavy cleaning. Husband thinks it’s a waste of money but has been a lifesaver for me. My computer has been a lifesaver for me I can keep in touch with family and friends, without the traveling. This last few months several of my friends have decided we need to declutter our houses so our kids wouldn’t have to do it should we become unable to. It’ s nice to have less to clean around all the things I have. A lot harder then I thought it would. Husband loves it, thinks I have a thing going on with the nice looking man who unloads thing for me at Salvation Army. Also thinks I’m giving the garbage man a hernia. My youngest daughter has been coming over three weeks to help. I’m doing better at getting rid of stuff, when she sorts through it rapidly and ask stay, go, Salvation Army, donate, library. Found it easier if I don’t handle think and have to decide fast, plus she hauls it all away that day. It doesn’ Give me time to hold it and go through later. I tend to keep instead of toss.
Dez says
So glad i found this blog.We live in a country where house help is quite affordable.I’m a slob and i struggle to just start cleaning up,but the few times that i do i realised i do a perfect job.however we cant be waiting for the few times cz tht takes forever lol.So we used to have househelp,she actually stayed at the cottage in our yard so she would clean everyday,basically do everything except cook.After that one left after many years, we found another one but she only comes twice a week,does thorough cleaning of the whole house including laundry and folding clothes and putting them away in correct place.It just makes life so much easier,i used to feel ashamed of having to hire someone when others do it for themselves until i realised…DO YOU….just do what makes you happier and your life better.
Diversity says
We moved to Mexico to live out our retirement years. We have a housekeeper that comes twice a week and works 6 hours each time she comes. We pay her $20 per day, and she does a great job of cleaning everything. We are not messy people, though. I still make the bed, cook and wash dishes. BUT I don’t have to kill my bad back mopping our marble floors, and all the dusting she does helps our allergies. She also polishes our wood furniture. She does anything we ask her to do, actually. She would wash the dishes if I asked her to, but I prefer that she spend her time here cleaning. She is a wonderful, sweet person, too.