From Dana: I love this story from one of you!
Since I last listened to you, I have taken up sewing and quilting as a hobby. I have a stash of fabric that is getting out of hand. I have great ideas, and then a strong urge to make them happen. Problem is, I have so much fabric and so few completed projects. I’m great at shopping and accumulating. I finally quit shopping for *most* things (trinkets, housewares, clothing) in 2019, after buying a house with my then-BF/now-husband.The house is 1500 square feet, but seems much larger. The master bedroom is huge, and the other 2 bedrooms are tiny. There’s a huge living room with odd layout of dining room and kitchen has made me reconsider shopping for most things, but fabric has been a problem since I’ve taken up this hobby (late 2020).Why I’m writing: I am finally catching up to your 2023 shows and #351 hit me HARD. In it, you asked the question of value for space vs stuff. You asked “what would you pay to keep this space tidy?” I have been a follower of your work and methods for so long, and this was like my “holy cow!” moment.If a genie said I could have my house in a state of manageability forevermore, I would give him ten thousand dollars. That is what I’m willing to exchange for a harmonious home. $10,000 is a LOT of money. It’s a decent chunk of my salary. It’s a used car. A kitchen remodel. It’s a romantic vacation for 2 to Hawaii. more than I’m allowed to contribute to my IRA.But at the same time, it’s not a lot. I broke my leg last year, which required surgery–I wouldn’t have thought twice about paying that much for surgery (because that’s one of those things that just costs what it costs). I wouldn’t be angry at my husband for spending that of his own money without consulting me. If a very necessary house repair cost 10k, I’d pay it in a heartbeat. But most of all: I’m certain I’ve spent more than that chasing a deal and then overbuying out of a scarcity/availability mindset.So, in continuing to listen to the show and reflect on what I’m doing and what I’m willing to part with, I just keep repeating to myself, “ten thousand.”I’m still not ready to get rid of all the brand new fabric. I’m still struggling with art supplies and other hobbies. But each collection of things can be repurchased for far less than 10,000. Heck, I could probably get rid of everything I own (outside of furniture, basic clothing, and dishes–bare necessities), and rebuy these unnecessary “toys,” for way less than ten thousand bucks.There are, of course, some things that are harder to get rid of. It kinda sucks that I’m into vintage stuff! But they are things that I don’t think I can find again. 1930s plus size dresses that fit like a dream. Depression glassware. Treasures from my grandparents’ houses that are irreplaceable. Those make sense. But then there’s the silly things: Wii games (can you even buy those anymore??). Physical media (CDs and DVDs… am I really going to pay Spotify and Apple and Amazon and Netflix and Hulu and and and? But it’s not like I still have a CD player!). Books (as if libraries don’t exist). Puzzles (which are expensive, but do you ever do them more than a few times?). Games (gotta have Taboo and Scattergories and Telestrations to entertain!). And you know what? I was trying really hard to make a list of things I can’t let go of, and that’s pretty much it. These are all toys for adults.So that is my huge DUH moment. Or Oprah would call it an AHA moment. Ten thousand. Would I be wasting 10k by getting rid of stuff? No. It’s more like I’m putting that much value into my house by not having it.
Bookgirl Becky says
I found your first book in a thrift store. I smiled at the cover, opened the book to read a bit, found I liked the writing style (You’re right; you ARE funny!), and promptly bought your book. I read it three and a half times in the first month I owned it!
Since then I have been washing my dishes and putting them away and getting the kitchen floor swept. I am more haphazard about the checking of the bathrooms and doing the five-minute-pickup, but they’re coming along. A fair amount of decluttering has taken place. My husband has joined me at times in doing those five minutes or decluttering; more to the point, he has actually helped with the dishes and the sweeping! AND my daughter and son-in-law have even started doing their dishes about 75% of the time! (We live in a blended household, which also includes our granddaughter). You have NO IDEA of how much an improvement that is.
I started reading the blog from the beginning. Today I was startled: there was no “newer post.” Initially I thought there was something wrong; had I inadvertently skipped something? But, no: I HAVE CAUGHT UP!!!
It has been quite interesting reading others’ comments, especially concerning whose cleaning and/or organizing advice/method they had followed in the past: the Sidetracked Home Executives, Fly Lady, Marie Kondo, The Organized Mum Method, Don Aslett, Swedish Death Cleaning, Joshua Becker and others supporting Minimalism–all of whose work I have read. I discovered that I was more likely to pay attention if the writer was funny, and I took away something useful from each, but nothing quite worked. I really liked the Sidetracked Sisters, but trying to do the 3 x 5 card system didn’t end well. Fly Lady’s dictum to clean and polish your sink daily didn’t help me, because I could just make huge piles of dishes to either side of my sink and get it polished, but the dishes didn’t get done. Tax papers and such do NOT spark joy, but they need keeping anyway. I am NOT ready to Death Clean, even if I am now on Medicare, having turned 65 a week ago. But your book clicked with me; now my family hears about TPAD and “putting things where you would first look for them” and “one in, one out” and “donate-able donation boxes.” (My husband was particularly in favor of the latter!)
I have purchased a (new) copy of your first book and given it to a friend of mine, and I recently purchased your second book. I also read Giving God the Worst of Me. Enjoyed them all, learned from each. Now that I have caught up, I will sign up for the newsletter and go back and get the podcasts (though I really prefer the blog) and watch the videos I’ve not yet seen.
Thank you!!!
Becky