It was a good summer.
Even though it started like this:
That was the last day of school in June. I was pulling out of my alley, on my way to pick up kids, when my car died. I re-started it. It re-died.
Another re-start. Another death.
And then my 11yo, who was with me, said, “Mom, the car is smoking.”
What??
Now, here’s where I prove I’m not a car expert. I didn’t even look under the hood. I just assumed something was wrong, very wrong, but since I knew I’d have no idea what I was looking at if I looked, I just texted Hubby and started walking back home.
Yes, I’ve heard the where-there’s-smoke-there’s-fire saying, but somehow that didn’t register as a real thing to me. I just assumed it was a little hot or that something was steaming (I think that’s happened before), but it never even occurred to me that there was an actual fire under there.
By some miracle, Hubby was able to come straight home to give me his car so I could drop him back at work and start the pick-up rounds.
He went to check out the dead car. It was still (much to my surprise) smoking. He popped the hood.
He saw flames.
Uhhhhhhh. We called 911 to ask what we should do. They told us they were sending police and firemen right away. Before they got there, the neighbor who was enjoying the show (really, she said it was very exciting!!), went into her house only to learn her fire extinguisher didn’t work.
The police arrived, only to learn their extinguisher also didn’t work. They advised us to move our Suburban away from the (still only slightly burning) car. Y’know, in case it exploded.
That was when things suddenly felt real. Like, maybe this was a big deal after all.
By the time fire was out, everything that mattered was melted. Thankfully, no one was injured.
But this was when I started having not-so-loving feelings toward Dave Ramsey.
Which is why I titled this post, “Schmave Schmamsey.”
It’s me being derogatory, without being as inappropriate as what was actually going on in my head.
I was mad at Dave.
After huge amounts of stress and many Saturdays spent in somewhat scary parts of Dallas, we purchased that car with cash. Like good little Dave followers.
We totally agree that debt is bad. Real, real bad. We have worked very hard to stay debt-free. When we replaced our mini-van with a 10+ year old Suburban for $3,000, we sang Dave’s praises and congratulated ourselves for understanding and acting upon this idea that you can get a used car with cash and be fine.
Just one thing: We have a mechanic whom we love and trust who had a Suburban he whole-heartedly recommended to us. We bought it with confidence.
But this time, we needed a non-gas-guzzling vehicle. Hubby was going to take the guzzling Suburban, and I needed something small to haul the kids around to all their activities and to drive to my speaking engagements.
Our mechanic didn’t have anything like that.
So we looked. And we looked.
We had scary Craigslist experiences. We opened cars that reeked of smoke and one that was covered in fuzzy mold on all the seats.
Finding a reliable car that got good gas mileage for less than $6,000 cash was hard. Really, really hard.
But in the end, we found this one and decided we just needed to do it. We’d hemmed and hawed and researched until we wanted to scream.
This one seemed the best and wisest choice.
We paid for the carfax, kicked the tires and drove it home.
For about two months, it felt like we’d made a decent decision.
And then it caught on fire.
Hubby and I agreed we were NOT going to go through that again. We tried. We failed. And y’all, it’s scary when your car catches on fire. For several weeks, I felt panic every time the image of my car on fire on a busy highway crossed my mind.
So we took the money from the insurance and used it as a down-payment on a CERTIFIED, checked-over, still-under-warranty, not “As-Is” car with a small monthly payment that we’ll pay off as soon as we can.
And even though I totally understand the logic of buying cars for cash, I don’t care.
Not even a little bit.
Not that we’re throwing out all Dave-ey goodness. We still agree with most of what he says, even the stuff about buying cars for cash.
We’ve just chosen NOT to follow that advice this time.
Right around the time this was all going on, someone commented on Facebook how she’d liked the page, but the posts she was seeing just overwhelmed her and kind of made her mad. But then one post (can’t remember which one), made sense to her. She made a change, and that change improved her home.
Yay for one change.
It reminded me of the Dave Ramsey/Schmave Schmamsey situation I was going through right then.
I was mad at Dave. I was overwhelmed. Even though I knew paying cash for a car was the ideal, I didn’t want to hear one word about how I should do that.
But we aren’t throwing all his methods out the window. We continue to follow so many great strategies and we’re better off for it.
Not that I’d compare myself to Dave/Schmave, but there are some parallels for those who feel overwhelmed or want to punch the computer screen when I talk about something that’s just too tough to deal with right this moment.
You can hold on to your sentimental clutter or keep your used tissue paper or refuse to try Laundry Day. Really, do what you want to do.
There’s never a week (or even a day) when I do everything perfectly in my own home. But if I do one thing, my house is One Thing Better. If I do the dishes, my dishes are done. If I do a five minute pickup, my floors are walkonable.
Yes. I have strategies that I share for decluttering. I’ve boiled it down to four habits that will make a huge impact.
But if one of those habits makes you think bad thoughts about Nony Schmony, skip it. Do the ones that make sense to you.
Do the ones that make you feel excited about continuing instead of ready to quit.
We didn’t buy a new car. We bought a 2013 Altima. We searched and bargained until we got one for the price we wanted. We did the best we could do at the time while also acknowledging the effects of the trauma we’d experienced.
We didn’t abandon our grocery budget and start charging everything on credit cards. And when it comes time to buy another vehicle, we’ll try to get one with cash on a referral from our trusted mechanic.
So we’re better off. Not perfect, but better.
Better is good.
P.S. Here’s proof we haven’t given up our Ridiculously Frugal Ways:
Here’s our “milk budget” that I implemented for my milk-guzzling kids to make it through until payday without going over our grocery budget.
--Nony
I have to say I LOVE this “milk budget”!!!! Grabbing my sharpie now!
ok milk budget…which kid gets how much…can you explain…we try limiting it to a meal..or if our other meal is kinda light…
I totally agree! I SO need to do this. I don’t even drink milk, but my four boys and husband go through 6 – 7 gallons a week!
We did the Dave thing too with our car. I am unhappy with Dave too! We made the decision late last Fall to get rid of our “bought used, but almost new vehicle I loved!”. The amount we’ve spent on repairs for the second vehicle would have about covered the car payments of the first vehicle. Fortunately we’ve had no scary car fires and the car seems to be holding together now so we’re sticking with it. I’m not convinced this car thing is the best idea anymore given how much can go wrong with a car and how expensive it is to fix things and can even a really good mechanic know that some part buried deep in the engine is about ready to quit?
Yep, my husband had a run in with a bank building because of some medical issue, which left us without a card since we only had liability on it. We tried the used for cash thing too. Also didn’t work out. So you are doing the right thing!!
LOVE your milk budget!!
This has to be one of my favorite posts so far. Sorry for your loss, but the lesson you shared, spot on. The “one thing” I do is turn on your podcasts when I wash dishes. Dishes are my dreaded chore. It’s gross and painful (I have a bad back). What gets me through it with a smile? Your story and helpful suggestions. You get it…I can’t tell you how many times I have said “me too!” Thank you!
hey, girl! I’m rolling on the floor laughing out loud (well, after gasping in the midst of your car fire story) — again, Nony’s in my head, because I pretty much feel the same about car shopping/buying and DR (aka Schmave Schmamsey) – – you are too funny and full of truth and real life. Thank you so much for that pic of your milk rationing. Love it! I too ration here. We use glass jars, so my system looks a little different. But, I do have a system in place, otherwise they drink a week’s worth in 2 days!
Glad you’re back 🙂
I feel sorry for all of you in your bad experiences! My husband is super mechanically inclined so Dave’s advice worked for us. I do have to say that I think what made a difference for us was not to sell our used car and buy a junker for cash, but to pay it off and buy our NEXT vehicles for cash. We have 6 homeschooling kids and my husband didn’t want me to be stuck somewhere broken down with 6 kids. We paid off our suburban and then bought an excellent work truck with cash, and then a year later an Excursion with cash. But again, he has a very good mechanical sense when testing used cars. Anyway, cash cars are so amazing when you get to do with a sound vehicle, NOT junkers.
We’ve gotten our cash car and vans from government fleet auctions and have had great success with them. Our first van was totaled in a wreck (not our fault) 4.5 years after we bought it and the insurance company gave us just $1000 less than we had bought it for. After a very frustrating month of looking locally and on Craigslist, we were able to make the trip to San Antonio for a GSA auction. We haven’t had a car payment in about 10 years now. I do think Dave is a bit out of touch with how much it takes to get a reliable car these days, however. Our first van (in 2007) was $7000, our car (in 2010) was $7000 and our second van (in 2011) was $10500.
The milk budget made me laugh. Unfortunately my milk-guzzler is my husband, and I can’t imagine him going for that.
yeah hubby is like a baby calf….and he likes it ICE COLD…
That was greatness! We follow Dave as well. We do however buy new cars with as big a down payment as possible because sometimes you can get a new car for less. Then we pay it off as fast as we can. We are like animals until it’s paid off. We bought a smaller, less expensive house than we could afford at the time and fixed it up over the years. We were able to pay it off in 8 years while our friends worried about electric bills, high insurance and taxes on their 5 bedroom McMansion for their family of 3. Once the house was paid we started socking money away like mad. Mind your this took place over a period of maybe 5 more years after the house was paid for. My husband lost his great paying job of 19 years in January- July and we haven’t had to sweat it out because we had our nest egg and very few bills. Sure it would have been nice not to dip into our savings but so thankful we had it. Thankful my husband is wise. It does take time, but don’t lose heart. Great advice to do what works for you!
love this! 18 years ago- my car (sort of) exploded on the highway with my then-fiance following in a car behind. 3 hours later, we bought a Chevy Cavalier (new- but so basic it didn’t have a tape player). We drove it for 14 years. After having 1 or 2 cars a year (bad cash cars) during university, it was AWESOME having a reliable car!
Okay, so:
(1) We had a similar car/finance situation a few years ago, sans fire. To fix the car would have depleted the car replacement savings and to buy within the savings would have set us up for no money for imminent repairs on whatever vehicle we could afford with said savings. But here’s what we didn’t do: we didn’t buy a brand new shiny vehicle with payments we could barely afford. We bought a vehicle which we had prayed about, negotiated a third off of the price with walk-away-power (yes, it’s very real!), put down another third of the asking price, and took out a loan for the last third, which we paid off in six months using every extra cent that we had, sometimes as much as 6-8 times the minimum payment. I’m sure Schmave will forgive us.
(2) I have a favorite grocery store where I figured out if I can find a gallon or two of milk within two days of its sell-by date, I can ask the service desk for half off the gallon and they usually do it for me! Since it’s good for a week past its sell-by date, and we go through it within three days, why not?
I’m just in awe over 3 days on one gallon of milk…
It was tough!!!!
Love this post! I found Dave a long time ago and in a much needed time in my life. I love his (mostly) common sense approach to financial freedom. At that time, in a different relationship, I followed his advice–in my own way. The most important thing was hearing and understanding the basic themes he provided.
At that time, I was unable to follow his plan completely. But I did understand his logic. I wanted a paid off car. So I found one. From trusted in-laws. I called it “the blue turd!” I loved that car because it embodied the ideals I wanted to follow. That 1999 blue Chevy Corsica carried me many thousands of miles. Out of a toxic relationship and into a new life which I love. When it finally died (and I do mean died!), I was single again. And in a new town with no family or friends close by. So I traded it in on a used-but-new-to-me car with a small payment I paid off quickly. Not Dave’s advice, I know…
And now, in a new relationship and new city, I have a paid off car and I’m slowly getting out of debt. I’m still contributing to my 401k (against Dave’s advice while paying off debt) but it’s what works for me right now. And I’ll definitely chock all that up to a major win!
Glad you’re back and thanks for all you do! Keeping it real. In the real world!
Why are you letting the kids drink the Sept 1 milk before the Aug 30 milk? LOL, first thing I noticed after I read your great article. Our house is still a wreck, but very slowly, becoming less of a mess.
Someone else asked that same thing!! Tuesday was the 25th!! We never make it anywhere near the expiration date!
As someone who worked in the food industry for several years, it bothers me WAY more than it should that you used the exp Sept 1 milk before the exp Aug 30 milk. Haha just had to say something! LOL
Haha!! Tuesday was the 25th!! We never make it anywhere near the expiration date!
When my kids were little I used to think it would be cheaper to buy a cow because of the amount of milk we went through! It paid off though as the three of them have never had a filling at the dentist (fingers crossed that it says like that).
I Love It! Yes, just do what you can and what makes sense in your own life situation. I totally agree!
Sometimes cars catch fire…
And it’s scary and tires blow out and manuals can even restart and drive forwards and catch the bushes on fire too.
Yep, I’ve experienced it not once but twice.
My car that my dad the airline mechanic put together for me and I drove all through college and for 4 1/2 years of married life. It was winter in MN…so car was running to warm up…my neighbor called and said fire was dropping out of the car to the driveway.
All the tires blew it was a black hulk when done. The firemen basically watched it burn until after the tires had blown for safety’s sake.
My husband’s car that he bought from my brother–mechanic and used car dealer–caught fire after owning it for 6 years. I was driving home with the same neighbor smoke started coming into the compartment…we parked and bailed out. The car restarted and thankfully got stuck on the bushes in from of the parking pad. The firemen were like “haven’t we been here before” NOT FUN.
Hasn’t happened to another vehicle in the 25 years and 8-10 vehicles since.
We’ve blown head gaskets twice…had transmissions go out twice
and had 2 vehicles totaled after being rear-ended. I still miss my van. 🙁
Reality is stuff happens and you deal with it the best you can
and go on as you’ve shared in your post.
Glad you were are to find something you’re comfortable with.
We recently had similar experiences with two, old, paid-for used cars. The problem was we were spending our emergency savings on them as fast as it was replenished. In the past few months we went from no car loans to two. We hate debt too, but now we have two reliable, under-warrenty cars. Our emergency savings is building more slowly, BUT the money is staying there longer!
My step-dad goes to a new/used car lot. Asks for the cheapest, most dependable car they have, maybe something going to auction soon. They show him what they have. He will pay low price cash, if they will have the mechanic check it over and give him a 30 day warranty. If they won’t or he doesn’t have enough cash, he will pay what he has and finance at least a month. He makes sure there are no loopholes about needing to pay financing price (basically no-prepayment penalty) The last car he bought for $1,900 and has been driving it for 2 years, no problems. Also, if buying a car, you can make the sale conditional on what your mechanic says.
hahahaha – The milk jugs are cracking me up!
Sorry about your car, but glad you realized that you have to do what works for you.
Great post!
I hear you about the car. Several years ago when had a chance to trade our 4 wd. In for a 12 passager van. We had just adopted 6 kids. We knew we would be getting a refund check in like 5 month of purchase so we bit the bullet took a loan and made the payments. First thing we did when I ck came in was to pay off the van. It was only a year and a half old when we bought it and was a deal of a lifetime. So glad we did. But like you we still follow almost all of Dave’s advice. .
So glad you are back. Look forward to your post and podcasts.
Ha! Yes, gleen what you can and throw out the chaff! Not every scenerio is best for every family(whether finance or cleaning routines). I hope your readers grasp that your familiarity with Mr.Schmamsey’s methods AND your experience helped you become a savvy car shopper.
I also like your milk rationing example!
Ok the milk budget makes me laugh because we have a bacon rule and a baby pickle rule in my family so we don’t eat the bacon or the baby pickles too quickly since they can be quite expensive.
Hi! Loved this! Gave me hope for when other non-cleaning/organizing things go wrong!
I love how you talk about choosing what works for you so that you are improving your life and not stressing from trying to do everything “perfectly”. I’ve seen so many people give up on programs or projects because they think it’s all or nothing.
I find those large bottles far too difficult to handle so I decant into smaller so a splosh in my tea is just that and no overflows. My suggestion also for not all the milk coming out of the fridge and stay cool until it needs to come out is to decant each night into the one to two liter bottle everyone can manage to pour just the amount they need from. Just a suggestion.
I think Dave Ramsey has a lot of good ideas-they don’t work in all situations that’s for sure!
That is one thing I”m not going to skimp on …a car. I have to have peace of mind that it works and that its not going to break down all the time. you done right!!!
We once decided to buy an inexpensive car off of craigslist. A vw seemed like a good choice since they “go forever”. We found a 2001 Passat that we payed $4k for and it was a good car for the first several months (if you don’t count every plastic part in the car breaking off). Then the problems started…expensive problems. We finally decided it was time to get out of that money pit and trade it in. The dealer ran the carfax…came back and let us know that our car didn’t exist anymore. It had officially been crushed. Their best guess was that our car had been pieced together from stolen parts. Yay. Gotta love craigslist
Do they not get a Tuesday milk allowance?
The goal was to make it last through Monday.
I’m really surprised nobody has mentioned this. You can get your trusted mechanic to look at the car you’re considering buying and let you know if there are any any problems. Not everything that can go out can be spotted in advance, but many things can. If a seller won’t let you take it to a mechanic then that’s a red flag right there.