I had too much fun doing sample Clutter Guilt Conversations a few weeks ago. Really, too much.
(Waaaayyyy too much.)
As the Holiday Season starts here in the U.S. next week with Thanksgiving, I thought it appropriate to share some approaches for avoiding clutter that well-meaning friends and family try to give you at family gatherings.
I’m calling today’s approach the “Sure! I’ll See What I Can Use.” Approach
(Click here if you can’t see the video.)
Script:
Me: (coming in the door) It’s so good to see you!!
Them: Welcome, welcome!! I’m so glad you’re here! Hey, now before I forget, remind me to give you a big ol’ box of stuff before you leave tonight, okay sweetie??
Me: Oh. I guess I can see if there’s anything in it I could use.
Them: (slightly confused) Huh.
Later, at dinner
Them: You sure do like green bean casserole don’t ya, sweetie?
Me: I do! It’s one of those things I only eat once a year!
Them: Well that’s just great because at least five or six of those casserole dishes in that box of stuff I’m sending home with you are just the perfect size for green bean casserole!
Me: Oh, I’ve already got a dish that I use, but I can see if there’s anything else in there that I need.
Them: I was planning for you to take the whole box. I spent an hour last week going through my cabinets.
Me: That’s great! I bet you love having more space! I know I’m working on that, too! That’s why I really can’t take anything I don’t need. Don’t worry about me! Just go ahead and donate the stuff.
Them: Well, I was hoping you’d take the box out of here for me.
Me: Oh, sure.
Them: (Relieved and satisfied)
Me: We’ll just drop it off at the thrift store on our way home. Y’know, but not til after I claim the things out of it that I need!!
Them: (Confused, but hopefully speechless)
Are you gearing up to avoid bringing clutter home with you from holiday gatherings?
See my other Clutter Avoidance videos!!
“Oh, I already have one of those.”
“Let’s Get This Straight Before I Take It”
“You Know I Can’t Handle More Stuff”
--Nony
Nony,
I always love reading your posts. My problem is an old like 1950’s tin that my mom brings cookies in. We STILL had it in September this year from Christmas last year. She would not take that darn thing out of my kitchen. So when she was here one day in September, I told one of the kids to run that out to Grandma’s car and put it in the backseat. Mission Accomplished!!!! Now Nony, here is where it gets hairy, Mom came in Saturday night with THE tin full of chocolate chip cookies. Now it sits empty and clean on my precious small counter space, waiting again to go to it’s rightful home. Here we go again, lol!
“Oh no! The lovely tin accidentally got smashed! It got knocked off the counter and I slipped and landed on it. I had to throw it away. You know how clumsy I am. “
Love it! May have to try it. It is also hideously ugly with a red top with some pine cones on it. I could go on and on about the tin, but….
That reminds me of THE BOX for Christmastime. Bascially it was just this pre-wrapped box that HAD to get used each year. Basically it was the perfect size and shape for some worthless tchotke and not useful things. I don’t know what happened to the box, I don’t care since I declared “oranges for everyone” as a modification of adapting to hubby’s family and how only children get gifts.
Seriously, if you love someone, get them something that they’ll consume. Be it citrus, candy, soap, socks, or craft-kits they’ll actually use.
Sigh. I love Christmas tins. It doesn’t matter how garish they are – I want them all. I have pared way down on all my Christmas stuff, and I swear, I miss every single item that’s gone. On the plus side, I haven’t bought anything to replace it all with because I still have an awful lot. And I do pack the smaller Christmas items in the tins, so they’re “pulling their own weight”, at least.
My grandmother is like this haha. I’m just hoping she’s so distracted making sure we take food home with us that she doesn’t have time for anything else lol
I smile, take the box and never even open it. It stays in the car until I can take it to goid will. No harm no foul
I always accept the stuff and it immediately goes right to the donation pile. I dint even think about it anymore. Both mothers are mini hoarders and at their age I’m lucky they forget what they give me. If they happen to remember, I lie and say it broke/dog ate it/ destroyed in wash/buried in hall closet. I have never once had to produce an item that I’ve received. I don’t mind having to lie to them either because it actually makes me enforce a method of dealing with clutter. Ideally, the clutter would never enter my house or car to begin with, but we don’t live in an ideal world. We live in a world of hurt feelings and inadequate coping skills. I’m no worse the wear for graciously accepting and tossing. Even if they did remember the stuff, they’d eventually think I was terribly forgetful or unappreciative and then they’d (a) complain or (b) give the stuff to someone else. No big deal either way!
My grandmother is one of those people too. We (the family) have decided it’s simply best to accept anything she gives us, thank her and donate or toss (as appropriate). It works for everyone. She’s happy, and we don’t have to keep it. Most of it is junk or clothing, that she’s not going to miss, or ask about, ever again.
HA! LOVE IT!
Nony, I have actually laughed out loud more than once during these videos. I absolutely loved the look on the giver’s face right before cut to black and credits. You are priceless. Helloooooo, Hollywood and Broadway people! Come get Nony to star in your productions! 🙂
Absolutely love the video!
I agree with what others have said about taking it and then getting rid of it. After someone gives you a gift, or anything, IT IS YOURS. That means you have the right to DO WHATEVER YOU WANT WITH IT. Most people don’t understand this concept – givers and receivers. Gifts are supposed to bring joy. If they don’t, we should be able to let.them.go.