I bought these video game chairs Christmas-before-last.
A great idea, but they haven’t been used the way I thought they would be.
And now that my gameroom (see how I no longer call it a gameroom/office/guestroom) has the feel of a real room and purposeful furniture placement, the chairs haven’t been used.
They’ve been sitting in a corner.
An awkward corner made extra-awkward by the chairs . . .
So, I asked my 8yo if he wanted to sell his in our upcoming garage sale.
His response? “We really don’t need them anymore, but I was afraid it would hurt your feelings if we got rid of them.”
Seriously. Even though he knows his mother is “Nony the Slob” and has become a somewhat fanatical declutterer over the past few years.
I assured him that I won’t be offended. Though a pang of “But I thought those were going to be a great gift!” regret did go through my chest.
This also reminded me that many times when I stress over getting rid of something that was given to me, the stress I’m blaming on the giver . . . is mostly in my own mind.
Oh boy do I struggle with that one! My number 2 reason why things are so cluttered is the fact that I never get rid of anything for fear of hurting the feelings of those who gave me the “thing” in the first place!!! (number one reason being my own stupid laziness..lol) I’ve tried to tell myself so many times, that person gave this to me YEARS ago, they probably don’t even remember it anyway, if it’s of no use to me I need to pitch it…….after all isn’t a nice CLEAN place for my family more important than hoarding stuff so others don’t “get offended” (which they don’t anyway, cuz they don’t know, nor would they probably care much…lol)
Wow. Good point, Nony! I stress over getting rid of things that were given to me too. Mostly because I’m afraid that someday I’ll regret it, but also I think that their feelings are mixed in that. I’m trying to learn to be honest with myself and if I really don’t like the thing, let it go. If I can put it to good use, OK, but I need to stop keeping things out of guilt – either to others’ feelings or to my “maybe-someday-I’ll-be-sorry-self” who isn’t here yet.
Years ago, I checked some organizational/housecleaning books out of the library (which I promptly lost and had to pay a fine – no lie) and one of them, I believe by Don Aslet, talked about this very thing.
It was saying that when we get a dozen roses, we enjoy them and are very thankful to the giver, but when they die, we don’t have a problem tossing them out. He then went on to say that we should take the same attitude about things that we have enjoyed that have reached the end of their usefulness. He compared it to getting a huge stuffed animal at a carnival. Maybe we take it home, think about how much fun it was to win it, set it on the couch for a few days, and then we shouldn’t feel bad about getting rid of it. Enjoy it for the time it gives you joy, but when that stops happening, ditch it.
“Don’t love it if it doesn’t love you back,” was the title of the chapter, I think, and it was revolutionary for me! I had spent years “loving” things that were just junking up my house because I thought I *should* love them.
I still struggle with this. I think it is a universal problem for slobs, like us.
this post spoke directly to me, my heart. Thank you! I’m gong to dig out my Don Aslett book(s) this week.
This blog has inspired me to work on stop being a slob. My family just moved into a brand new house, so this is an opportunity of a lifetime for me to organize and toss out everything. I am just amazed by all the “stuff” aka junk I have acquired and never used. ugh… Now I just wished that my junk was worth money for American Pickers to buy off me….hah I am deleting the shabby chic and cottage stuff from my lifestyle…it no longer works for me and I now the stuff dust collectors… Keep up great work you do to keep inspiring us slobs to get out of the closet and our mental boxes!!
What a sweet boy! What a gracious Mama! Your growth over these past couple years inspires and motivates me. Thank you.
Even though I’ve largely gotten over this myself (I gave away a map book with my grandfather’s name embossed on it last week) I am my own worst enemy with this and my kids stuff. I’ve been teaching my daughter about passing it on since she was two and it’s firmly grounded in her vocabulary. I’ve even got her going through the papers from her back pack and recycling things.
But when we do the big declutter of their toys, or books or stuffies, the things they want to get rid of will always include two or three things I rescue because they were mine as a kid, or my husbands, or a gift from someone. MUST STOP DOING THIS!