I get quite a few visits to this site each week from people searching something like “What is the difference between a hoarder and a slob?”
As a slob who has had rooms that could get me on a show of that name, it’s a question that has crossed my mind many times.
Some days I think “I’m not that bad” and others I realize that I could easily get that bad.
The question crossed my mind again as I tackled my still-much-better-but-falling-back-into-disarray-as-we-speak daughter’s room.
She now has a daybed with a trundle. That trundle and all that it represents are her pride and joy. Pulling it out so my mother could stay in her room one night last summer was a thrill. Then she wanted to sleep on it herself, have spend-the-nights with her brother, and generally enjoy the fact that there was one more bed in the room.
Meanwhile, as the room stayed in a not-quite-the-way-it’s-supposed-to-be state, clutter found more places to hide and the whole space started getting out of hand. Finally, while she wasn’t looking, I went in there to put the trundle back underneath her bed.
But, likely due to some stealthy jumping sessions, the bed wasn’t lined up just right to slide back under. And after I grunted and scooted it into just the right place, it would only slide half-way because of random toys that had collected under the bed and were blocking its way.
Now, the simple task of putting the trundle back in place required pulling (and more grunting and heavy sighs), and crawling to get the now-all-the-way-at-the-back toys.
What could have been an easy task, as I’m sure the first trundle-bed-infomercial demonstrated, turned out to be a highly physical one, requiring strength, energy, and flexibility.
And that was when I realized that for some, that’s probably the line. The line between hoarder and slob.
Perhaps someone like me goes through life as a slob, letting things pile up and get so bad that they have to block off a day on the calendar to spend sorting and lifting and bending and such.
But if something happens before that day, something that means they can no longer bend and lift and such . . . the day may never come.
It’s a fine line.
I could have written that post. Great slob minds think alike.
I am a slob, but I have a sister who is a hoarder. While there are definitely rooms in my house that look bad, you can get around in my house, and while I should clean more often, you don’t have to put on a mask before coming in my house, and you probably won’t get sick from it. The thing is, I’m not emotionally attached to most of the Stuff that makes up the mess. My sister can’t get rid of ANYTHING. Not stuff that is unequivocably trash, not all the various nascar and tv show collectibles she buys constantly, nothing. She never cleans anything and her house is a health hazard. I cannot take my kids there, which is unfortunate because she won’t leave and she needs the love and social support, but my obligation to not expose my kids to that sickness is first and foremost. You and I, while we certainly have things we love and enjoy, recognize we have issues with clutter and that we need to part with some of it. AND WE DO. Maybe not when we should, but we do. And we recognize we need to clean. AND WE DO. Maybe not as often as we should, but we do. She has a sickness. We maybe have a predisposition to becoming that way, I don’t know, but for whatever reason, the gene hasn’t been switched on yet. It isn’t really the physicality that prevents people who hoard from cleaning up – it’s completely mental and emotional. Mostly emotional. Honestly it is a case of “There but for the grace of God go I” because who knows what tragedy might befall me in my future, and how I’ll handle it. I would hope based on my past experience that I’d handle it better, but you never know, I guess.
I do know that on the rare occasion that I watch a few minutes of one of those shows, or when I talk to my sister, it always, always makes me go clean something.
Love this insight. Thank you so much for sharing, FishyGirl!
I agree with fishygirl, it’s the emotional attachment. On those shows they ask the person ,”how would you feel if you came home and it was all gone?” they would feel terrible and couldn’t go on. I would say thank you Lord and have a big party. I am sure there are things I would miss or Feel sad about, but I wish I could come home to an empty garage!
You’ve said it there, Sara. Why doesn’t the Clean-Sweep Fairy come to OUR houses and take it all away? I promise I wouldn’t cry at all!!!
My mother-in-law was a hoarder. She would not declutter unless she was forced, and it always involved fighting and crying along the way. The difference between a slob and a hoarder is that one is an organizational problem, and the other is a mental illness.
Having certain tendencies myself I watch the British hoarding show with Stelios Kiosses. It is less schadenfreude, and more therapy. In one show he said that hoarding was generally a response to loss, abandonment, or rejection. Emotions are transferred to items that do not leave. Not rational, but a coping mechanism.
Help…I have a grandson who saves every cologne bottle, cheap rings, goofy things and has used up most of his storage space for such, leaving no room for undies. Additionally, his room is full of clothes running from his doorway, across to his bed and work area, across into his closet. Encouragement to be neater falls on deaf ears. I have picked up myself multiple times and relay needed clothing that hasn’t been worn, only taken off racks and thrown on the floor. The only option I can see is to take most of his clothes and place in bags, hidden away for a while. I would leave maybe five changes so the laundry would not get so out of hand. Any suggestions?