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Decluttering Certification

We Emptied the Trash Can . . . I Mean, Cleaned Out the Suburban

April 25, 2011 By Dana White | 31 Comments

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That’s Hubby and me.

Pre-blog, that’s the reaction we always had when I’d say “I really think we should keep it this way!” after cleaning out the master bedroom, the garage, the living room, the closet . . . whatever.

We rarely react that way anymore. This deslobification process is working, and even though my kitchen sink is currently full of Easter dishes, it’s no longer a total joke to think we can maintain a livable space for more than three days at a time.

We Emptied the Trash Can . . . I Mean, Cleaned Out the Suburban at ASlobComesClean.com fb

But when I said it about our Suburban . . . we laughed.

Heartily.

I know how it gets so bad. I know how other people keep their vehicles from getting to this point. Many times, I’ve nodded knowingly when sitting around with other mothers who were discussing how annoying it is to ALWAYS have to remind kids to take their trash out of the car when they get home.

But I guess that’s the problem.

I don’t remember.

And I’m the mama.

I can’t tell you how many times, while sitting in a drive thru, I’ve had to roll down my window and empty melted-three-days-ago-ice from one fast-food cup, so I can have a place to put my new drink.

A trash bag hung from something-or-other is a nice thought.  But when I try that, it soon blends in with all of the other plastic bags strewn throughout the vehicle.

Yeah. I know these are all excuses.

Lame ones.

It’s incredibly frustrating that even though I’ve made quite a bit of progress in my home, the car is still such an embarrassing wreck. And it’s harder to hide than my home! We live in a small town, so the whole let-me-stop-here-along-the-road-and-gab-with-so-and-so-who’s-out-on-a-walk thing isn’t an uncommon occurrence. I see their eyes wander and I hear their brains whirling as they take in the incredible mess.

I choose to pretend that no one we know is behind us when the boys have to throw falling items back into the Suburban when I drop them off at school. If I don’t see you in my rear-view mirror, you don’t exist.

And my kids are at that wonderful age where their friends suffer from adorable-when-its-about-someone-else/irritating-when-it’s-about-me honesty. I can’t tell you how many of them have asked why our vehicle is so messy.

Actually, I can tell you.

All of them.

But, right this very minute . . . it’s cleaned out. And as long as my slob-brain can remember, I’m going to ban all toys and games and food and such.

And I plan to thoroughly enjoy the ability to open two doors at once on a windy day.

What did we clean out? Six Wal-mart bags full of trash, one paper-sack full of toys to be donated, and lots of random items to be distributed throughout the house.

Oh, and thankfully, what appeared to be a jumbo-sized brown crayon . . .

. . . was, in fact, a jumbo-sized brown crayon.

Whew.

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Filed Under: decluttering, failures | 31 Comments

Comments

  1. Rachel E. says

    April 25, 2011 at 6:09 am

    I am a new follower to your blog and I enjoyed this one. I can relate to the fact that our vehicles become so messy. I hope you can keep it clean long enough to enjoy and you can remember to ban all said items from your vehicle as well.

    Reply
  2. Patty says

    April 25, 2011 at 6:29 am

    Love this post! Kindred spirits!!!! I feel all of that pain. Oh how many times have I flinched when something fell out of the van when the kids opened the door. And I'm just as bad as they are at leaving stuff in it. But I'm getting there!

    Reply
  3. Semalee says

    April 25, 2011 at 11:41 am

    I could have written this post!!! HA HA HA HA!!! I actually had the kids clean the car out YESTERDAY MORNING and by the end of the day it was A PIG STY AGAIN!!!! What in the world????? Oh well…. I thank you for writing this so I know I am not the ONLY one who can't get it together enough to clean my car and keep it that way 🙂

    Semalee @ Nailing Jello to a Tree

    Reply
  4. mary1day says

    April 25, 2011 at 12:01 pm

    I LOVE!! getting your blog emails every morning. This reminds me of last Wednesday when we pulled in the driveway and my son and I opened our doors at the same time. The wind was blowing and everything on the dashboard and front floorboard went flying.We jumped out and had to chase down all the papers because I didn't know what I had stored on the dash.My mother in law chews me out every time she see's inside my van.My son put a BEWARE BIOLOGICAL HAZARD sign on the front door of our house and after the long weekend with the kids home, I believe its right but we need one on our van as well.

    Reply
  5. Shannon L says

    April 25, 2011 at 12:19 pm

    In Feb, I saw a friend of mine and his children walking home. My first instinct was to offer a ride. Then I looked at my floorboard. My embarassement got the best of me and I turned the opposite direction. I don't believe he saw me, but I felt extraordinary guilt. Since then, I have kept the Explorer fairly presentable. I do a major cleaning when I get gas once a week. After that, whatever you bring in, you have to take out.

    Reply
  6. Lindsey Cowen says

    April 25, 2011 at 4:26 pm

    I know the feeling. We are finally getting on top of our house, but at the same time, our car is just as bad. We try to clean it out at least twice a week, but there is still stuff coming out all the time! I'm going to take this challenge to try to clean it out once and for all, and to keep it that way (hopefully). Thanks for all that you do! It makes me feel better that I am not the only one!

    Reply
  7. Livin' In Duckville says

    April 25, 2011 at 8:28 pm

    Too Funny!!! Considering we occasionally have the same problem at our house with our van. Thought we were the only one!!

    Reply
  8. BusyMommy says

    April 26, 2011 at 2:06 am

    Your hubby made it to your blog!!! Picture and all!!! Is he so happy?
    I get so discouraged when it comes to my vehicle. I try to ban everything once we get it cleaned, but I rarely stick with it. Hope you do better at it than I do.

    Reply
  9. Virginia (Jenny) says

    April 26, 2011 at 8:11 pm

    You crack me up! Ha! AND I can totally relate. Where we park for church is all depending on the condition of our van. LOL.

    Reply
  10. Leigh says

    May 2, 2011 at 9:52 pm

    Love this post! I can totally relate. Lots of clutter going on in my van. I ban everything for a few days and then give in again.

    Reply
  11. Anonymous says

    May 5, 2011 at 6:25 pm

    I LOVE your blog!!! Perhaps you can relate to this: My son's cub scout leader forgot the glue he needed for a project at the meeting. So I said "Oh, I have a hot glue gun in my car. I'll go get it!". This was followed by blank stares and the question "Why do you have a hot glue gun in your CAR?" Apparently, most folks do not "keep" hot glue guns in their cars. Who knew!?!

    Reply
  12. CC says

    May 7, 2011 at 12:40 pm

    My husband is the same way. We always had to take my car places (when we were still in the States with 2 cars) because he had empty Monster cans everywhere. I would have to clear space to sit and put my feet down. I finally started checking his gas guage and I would put a post it note saying "GET RID OF THE TRASH!!!" on his gas cap so when he opened it, he would see it. Problem solved. Well, kinda, still have to nag him from time to time.
    I'm like you, but have become crazy organized, he is like the old you. The new me has to fight the old him so often, it makes your blog so much fun to follow. I love recognizing me in so many of your stories.

    Reply
  13. Heather @ Catfish Kisses says

    May 9, 2011 at 12:54 pm

    Oh I'm SO glad I've found your blog!! It's nice to know I'm not the only one. I'm getting better, though! Recently moved from a regular apt to a studio & downsized a LOT. My main problem was having too much stuff. Now I'm tackling my truck. I cleaned it out last month & when my boyfriend saw it he said, "Look Honey!! There's room for me to sit!!" Lol

    Reply
  14. Anonymous says

    May 29, 2011 at 12:19 am

    I found your blog when I sat on the Internet instead of tackling my laundry room – tried reading from the beginning but my 'stuff' stayed 'stuffed' so I check in now and again when I need inspiration – I keep going back to this post just for the LAUGHING photo – brings tears of joy to my eyes and lifts me up so I want to keep going – thank you to the both of you for that photo – what a wonderful relationship you have! When you get that down in the dumps feeling remember this photo – thanks again

    Reply
  15. Lindsey J says

    December 14, 2011 at 9:42 pm

    My car is always so so bad. I would venture to say disgusting. But we bought a new-to-us car a few months ago, and I really want it to last 10 years without being disgusting, so what works for me is…

    to take it once a week to the car wash and actually spend 10 minutes throwing away trash, filling bags of stuff to take inside, and then spend 50 cents and actually vacuum it. It is amazing how CLEAN it feels! And how much more likely I am to remind my kids to take things inside, and how much difference it makes to get into a clean car!

    I happen to have the perfect opportunity between picking kids up from schools that get out 45 minutes apart.

    Reply
  16. Shanna says

    January 26, 2012 at 12:02 am

    Children who wrinkle up there nose and comment on messiness can really get to me. Then I remember it’s karma since I was ONE OF THEM. Payback is so painful. I make a point to talk to my daughter that can understand not to do this, since I realize most kids are just stating an obvious point not making judgements.

    Reply
  17. Leila Jane says

    February 14, 2012 at 4:35 pm

    That photo of you and your husband is priceless and adorable! So are YOU, Missy!

    Reply
  18. Addary says

    July 24, 2012 at 8:52 pm

    I can relate all the way around. I crindge when I drop the kids off at school and the teacher opens the door to let them out. Maybe thats why they always slam my car door. Hum I can relate to the church thing too. Try to park where people are not going to park right next to you. Not a problem when you are always running late. 🙂

    Reply
  19. Kathryn says

    February 28, 2014 at 2:29 pm

    The title is sooo my life!!

    Reply
  20. Ann says

    June 25, 2014 at 1:13 pm

    I am loving your site aslobcomesclean. Your suburban is exactly like mine, wait, mine is probably worse. You are right about keeping something clean for more than 3 days. I think it is helpful that your husband is on board with you. I hope to accomplish all that you have, but it may take my children moving out first.

    Reply
  21. Sarah says

    May 13, 2015 at 4:58 pm

    Oh. My. Lordy. Did you clean out your Suburban or mine?! I know this post is old, but I’m cracking up because my big ‘Burban is in dire need of a thorough cleaning. And drop-off, pick-up, church, and soccer are all equal opportunities for embarrassment. Plus we have twins who are prone to peeing in their car seats, so…sometimes it smells weird, too. Lol. Love your candor!

    Reply
  22. Lynn says

    August 16, 2015 at 8:34 pm

    A thousand times, “Yes!” Lol! I knew that you *knew* when you mentioned the two doors open on a windy day. Yes!

    Reply
  23. April says

    August 16, 2015 at 8:41 pm

    Anyone else have to clean your car out before you have it professionally cleaned? No way are they seeing how nasty my car REALLY is!!!!

    Reply
  24. Christine Duval says

    August 16, 2015 at 9:51 pm

    Two weeks ago my car was clean. Then I couldn’t find some cash I knew was in my purse. I proceeded to throw everything from purse onto floor on passenger side. I found money!! Two weeks later, all the stuff thrown on the floor is still there. Great Louise!! Imy a pig, I admit it. That, or just plain lazy!!

    Reply
  25. Diana Anderson says

    August 17, 2015 at 12:05 am

    I can’t stop laughing about this because I go through the very same things with my messy car! At least it’s good to know I’m not the only one!

    Reply
  26. Erin says

    August 17, 2015 at 10:29 am

    The kids and I just cleaned out my car on Saturday because my husband needed to use it to carpool somewhere – we are praying we can keep out clean at least for a while!!

    Reply
  27. Anna says

    June 14, 2016 at 10:23 pm

    A little friend of my kids (we are friends with his parents) told my husband and me on a car ride that the inside of our car looked like a dumpster! He was so honest. Bless him!

    Reply
  28. Lindsey says

    October 8, 2017 at 10:11 pm

    Thank you thank you. ThAnK YoU!! After 2 months of living in the car, going from one volleyball game to the next Football game, chasing 4 kids, I paid my daughter to clean out the car. She had a garage sack FULL of trash!!!! We had gotten to the point of not using the back seat. It’s not going to ever be clean for more then a day, I know myself. But it’s nice to know I’m not alone in the struggle. Love ❤️ you.

    Reply
  29. Susan says

    June 5, 2020 at 11:03 pm

    The mortification of opening your van door on a windy day. ugh.

    Reply
  30. Jennifer Schrank says

    January 21, 2021 at 1:32 am

    This was SO RELATABLE- I laughed so hard at the crayon and the whole post! When kids were younger, I found an apple juice box spilled for so long (in thankfully a plastic side holder) that it had molded! I still have not conquered the Suburban and am grateful for your honesty.

    Reply
  31. Char says

    April 10, 2021 at 9:04 am

    Ha my 14 yo just texted me to pick her up in the jeep (not the van) because we have a friend to drop home, and well the van is my (kids) vehicle and is bound to messy.

    Reply

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A Slob Comes Clean is the completely honest (and never-ending) story of my deslobification process. As I find ways to keep my home under control, I share the truth about cleaning and organization methods that actually work for a real-life slob. And I'm funny.

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