This isn’t really a house-cleaning tip, but one that’s good for people who struggle with Time Passage Awareness.
Like I do.
When it comes to scheduling kids’ birthday parties, I’m thankful I have my mother’s footsteps in which to follow. I started out this motherhood gig knowing that I would do it the way she did, because if it was good enough for me . . . .
Our family rule/guideline/practice is that the kids have “friend parties” every other year.
On the opposite year, we have family parties.
This . . . totally works for us. I give them their first party when they’re three, and then they know that on odd-year-birthdays they’ll have a big shin-dig.
I used to think my (fine . . . my mother’s) idea was brilliant because it kept me from feeling the pressure to do yearly birthday parties. The kids know which years are party years, and I don’t have to constantly answer the “Am I going to have a big party this year?” question.
But, as the reality of mothering three fun and active children has sunk in over the years, I’ve realized that it was also a perfect solution for me . . . because it made me have a party, at least every other year.
It sounds horrible to say, but my kids’ birthdays sneak up on me. One is immediately after Christmas, one is immediately after the start of school, and the other is around Easter. And with my scatter-brain-never-thinks-to-flip-the-calendar-to-the-next-month-until-it’s-almost-over-and-definitely-not-to-see-what’s-coming-up-next-month personality, I think that if I didn’t have this pre-arranged schedule, several years could pass without a party.
I’m sure I would sound genuinely regretful when I said, “Oh honey, things are just too busy this year, so let’s do a really big party next year, OK?
Now, here’s where I acknowledge that many parents choose not to do parties very often, or ever. I understand that is the best choice for some families.
But . . . I LOVE throwing my kids’ parties. I may not have the knack for creating an inviting ambiance in our home on a normal-old-day-of-the-week . . . but give me a theme and a deadline, and I love nothing more than to transform our home into a barn or a fire-station or a springtime garden.
And because these types of things are part of my Unique Mommy Personality, they produce wonderful family memories. (As long as everyone conveniently forgets the crazy-eyed-looks I give when apple juice spills on newly-mopped-for-the-party floors.)
So even though I appreciate my years off (my kids are all two years apart so one year is completely free while the next is rather crazy), I also appreciate the deadline and the commitment I’ve made.
Deadlines and commitments, especially ones that make me do fun stuff, work for me.
How often do you do birthday parties?
I do everyother year..but due to several moves and the fact the boy only had one BIG party in 6 years…we did 2 in a row for him (wait there is a master plan behind this) now the 2 older kids have parties on alternate years…one in april and one in june…so it helps the fund$ and the kids each attend a fun party every year…
celina in canada
Man! Wish I would have thought of that. We do one every year. And it can get exhausting! Though, I do cheat and do one "out" every so often {bowling alley, movies, etc}. But that can get expensive! Maybe I'll pick an age and say, "From this age on, every other year". Can you make up your own rules like that as you go along??
Oh thank you for these ideas. I've been struggling with this myself!
We don't have set rules, I sorta let the kiddo decide. We have gone on a family trip for his big day or taken a bunch of friends to the movies or had a large party in a park. But, no matter what we end up doing, there is cake! This year we did a family get together beforehand and on his day we will be heading to an amusement park. I don't need much of a reason to want to do something fun!
Currently, with our budget, I’ve decided that every multiple of 5 can have a large party.
We threw our first big party at 10 for kid 1.
& Kid 2 is 2 years away from that.
I’m always down for SOMETHING fun & a friend involved, but I tend to not focus very hard on it if there’s a ton else being thrown at me, at home.
Kid 3 will be 5 next year, and we’ll probably still do something pretty small
So, 10,15 & 20 look great party times for us 😁
I plan to do.some 1on1 trips as well, so this will give time for those adventures too
I let dd7 decide what she wants to do, but its usually not a party. For some reason, people in our area don't do parties, or show up for others. And its not just me. Other parents have said the same. I've planned two large(expensive) parties and sent out lots of invitations. No one even called to say they couldn't make it. So she will go to the childrens museum or character restaurant with her cousin.
Shannon, isn't it interesting how different things are in different areas?
TIffany, I know how hard it is to change after you've set a pattern! A friend of older kids once told me that when she feels like she needs to change something major in their family, she tells the kids that they've learned something new and so they're going to try it.
I've never done a birthday party. I blame my mother. She never had parties for us, so they just seem weird to me. I feel guilty about it, but there it is. 7 years a mother, 4 kids, no birthday parties. Ugh.
We usually have family birthdays, no big shin-digs yet. Sometimes a cousin(s) may join us. I have plans to do invite your friends over birthday parties for age 8, 12, and 16. I'm sure that our plan for this may change, but for now, I'm sticking with it. We like to have a family activity or something special that we all do together. We take the day off from school, and Daddy tries to take off work, too.
Cindy, I feel your pain. I, too, have 4 children and birthday parties are such a drag for me to do. We've solved our problem by just doing a special thing with our kids and one special friend. Usually we take them to Six Flags which is only about an hour away. That way they get to spend quality time with one friend instead of not getting to spend any quality time with 20 kids!!! 🙂 Then we have Grandma and Grandpas and Aunt and Uncles (we don't have many) over for cake and ice cream. It works for us and I don't feel like I have to plan a huge party for lots of kids.
My children have been to many birthday parties where they don't even talk to the birthday kid cuz there's so many other kids there and so much to do. Doesn't make a lot of sense to me. 🙂
Lawd. =) I'm planning my oldest's party right now. I love the planning and all the fun stuff that goes with it! He's only going to be two and this age is so much fun that I don't want to NOT celebrate it! I may get worn out by the time my 2 month old is 5 though.
I'm SO not into big birthday parties. All the presents (which just need to be decluttered)… I try to say "no gifts", but then my kids say it's not fair b/c they bring gifts to every party they go to!
We have also recently moved to every other year friend party – the other year, just family. Plus, we wait 'til they are old enough to ask for a party. We also say that they can invite as many friends as they are old – so 8 years = 8 friends.
I was one of four and my parents had two parties for me my entire childhood… And maybe that was on purpose, because now that I'm thinking, I can only distinctly remember two parties for each of us!
My husband's family is huge and close in proximity and big on milestones so my daughter (who will turn 4 Easter weekend) has had a party every year. We went to Disneyland last year so I thought I could skip a party, but no, somehow a party happened.
My son turns 1 in July and I'm sure we'll end up having some huge pool party bbq every year lOL
It's great to have something that works for you! 🙂
Since my kids are homeschooled, we don't have a party even that often….we had one at age 1, then one at age 10 – and, there are plans for age 16 (Huge Sweet 16 planned – key to a "sweet" sixteen?? haven't kissed – helps to keep them focused…I figure if you haven't kissed by 16, then you also haven't done anything else…) But, I digress (yep, I suffer from distractability too…) Other than that, we have a VERY large extended family and so we just get together with them. It works for us 🙂
This is what we do! I love the system because with 6 kids it would just be c-r-a-z-y. But, I don't like throwing parties so that kinda stinks too. That's awesome you are good at it!