Last fall, just a month or so into my new way of life, I had a conversation with an admitted “neat freak” friend. Housekeeping was the subject, and I mentioned vaguely (as has become my habit with people who know I struggle but haven’t been allowed into the inner circle of people who know about the blog), that “I’m doing better.” When she asked what I’m doing differently, I mentioned my daily tasks including sweeping the kitchen every day. Her response was that she doesn’t even do that.
But a neat freak notices when the kitchen needs to be swept. Actually, a normal person probably does too. But a slob does not. I can’t just do it every couple of days “when it needs it.” By the time I notice that it needs it, my family is wading through literal trash.
I took a picture of my “real reason” for having to sweep, but I’m afraid my trusty little camera is dying, and I couldn’t get it uploaded. I have another camera, but now the “reason” is no longer there to photograph.
Picture this. A 5 foot long by 3 foot wide pile of Sunday newspapers, spread between hubby’s and my breakfast chairs. A glaring mess to normal people. To me, a minor annoyance, to be dealt with “later.” I’ll be completely honest here, and admit that pre-blog, there were times when our once-a-month recycling pick-up day would come and hubby would remove multiple weeks worth of newspapers from that spot.
But making myself sweep daily, or even almost daily, makes me see the big pile of trash. The pile that could sit there indefinitely unless I make a conscious effort to clean the floors. Even I can’t justify sweeping around trash.
It’s like Flylady’s concept of keeping your sink shiny. Although I don’t shine my sink daily, there is something about changing your way of thinking. Instead of thinking of the overwhelming task of doing dishes everyday, think instead of keeping the sink free of dishes. In truth, it’s the exact same thing, but something about the slob-brain requires us to find a different way of viewing it that works better for us.
My point is that daily sweeping is about more than making gratifying little piles of dirt, grated cheese and paper scraps. It’s about making a habit of looking at the floor, and seeing it realistically.
And now for my daily checklist:
Stripped bed and washed sheets.
Finished one load of laundry.
Emptied dishwasher.
Cleaned kitchen.
SWEPT kitchen.
Hung up clothes in master bedroom.
Checked bathrooms for clutter.
Last night I:
Put out clothes for boys.
Ran dishwasher.
As as recovering slob myself, I think that you are absolutely right about changing the habit of doing things, and getting in the habit of looking. It's so easy to stop noticing!
I just put two weeks' worth of newspapers in the recycling pile. My subscription ran out January 1, I let it go because I wasn't getting them read, and it was ridiculous to spend money on it. Part of the reason I had so much trouble letting go is because I used to LOVE reading the paper. Even when I was gone for a month traveling, I had my papers held and then read them all when I got back home. My life just doesn't look like that anymore.
I like to think of this sort of accomplishment as a baby step. But it's a loooong marathon we have to run, and I need to really get to steppin'!
Have you ever thought of getting an online subscription to your favourite publications? No mess, no clutter! I’ve also cancelled the weekly flyers in favour of online flyer services like Rebee or Flip. It took a while to get used to it – I love the smell and feel of real paper, haha! But life is neater, my kitchen table is cleared off, and everything is a little less cluttered.
Thanks for all the posts! But I had to let me know that last night I finally sat down and did my own daily to do list. It 'uncluttered' my brain and helped to alleviate some of that overwhelmed feeling I always have by just getting it down on paper – and was also a little reality check for my husband. "You do all THAT?" "Uh, yeah…someone's got to." He then got up and made his own to-do list. (Yeah!)
Also, I learned a lot from Fly Lady but I, too, got overwhelmed by all the emails. But one thing I learned (other than shine my sink) that really has stuck with me and helped my perfectionist tendencies is "it's better than it was before." I am by nature a perfectionist neat freak but find that my perfectionism gets in the way of just doing 'little' jobs. My mind says "if you don't have time to do a four hour deep cleaning don't bother because it won't be good enough." Foolishness! I am slowly learning that I can do a heck of a lot of cleaning just in the 7 minutes it takes for me to brew a cup of tea. It may not be 'perfect' but it certainly is WAY "better than it was before."
I’m really glad I’m not the only one… My new cleaning mantra is ” better not perfect”.
oh how funny. I’ve been reading through your posts and in the above post you mention finish load of laundry… I jumped up because mine had been sitting in the wash all day. Thanks for the reminder.
I think sweeping the kitchen floor is the task I need to add next week. I have trouble putting away the groceries. The bags on my floor tend to be my extra cupboard. *sigh* I probably need to do a pantry clean out as well to make room.
Maybe you need a dog? Mine’s taught me putting things higher 😉
I’m so similar 🙂 I do some sweeping almost every morning. If I don’t – SUDDENLY my home’s a mess 😉
All good advice. My kitchen table is the biggest problem. I look at it and give up. Everyone uses it as their personal mailbox/bookbag. I turn on the rhumba and make sure nothing has overflowed onto the floor. Then I take my coffee into another room where I can’t see the table. Lol.
makes sense! thank you for the tips!
Thank you so much for your tips! I completely agree about just not looking. I just get used to the way things are and don’t really notice it. I also feel that small tasks, like sweeping, are more time consuming than they really will be and put them off until later (aka “next month”). Thank you for the advice and inspiration!
I have to say thank you for this post and for your blog in general. I know it sounds silly, but it is so nice to know that I am not the only one that struggles with this stuff. I appreciate how real and honest you are about everything. I never thought about sweeping like this, but I’m going to try for the once a day routine. I just spent about 40 minutes sorting through the heap of trash, dirt, old food, toys, and coins that were on my kitchen and office floor just so I could use the dust pan without throwing out things that we need. I hate that I am a slob….and even more I hate that my hubby is too AND we are raising 4 more slobs. I gotta make some changes or I am going to lose my mind!!!!
Thank you for this comment, Heather!
Doing a load of laundry every day is huge for me. This way it doesn’t all pile up and get insurmountable.
LOVE this website!!
Yes! This is how I feel about cleaning house, in general. I think things look fine, then I clean and realize just how bad things really looked.
When I actually start to clean a room I take before photo’s and after photo’s. That way I can see the progress.
I am new to your method, but feel you may be my last hope. Am I reading correctly on the above list that you “strip bed and launder sheets” daily? I am in tears because I can’t remember the last time I washed my sheets.
No! I definitely don’t do that!
I listened to your podcast today about this sweeping issue and noticing stuff like the shoes. This afternoon I was vacuuming the hallway and noticed my son’s banjo thumb pick on the floor. I picked it up! Yay me! My first reaction was: Man, what a shame. Somebody should pick that up…
I think the list Tessa was looking at was a list of things Dana had done that particular day. Also it was an old post before she started doing the vast majority of her laundry on Mondays. Mondays clothes for sure, other days odd loads like bedding or towels perhaps as needed.
Hi, I’m listening to your audiobook right now borrowed from the library and listen in the car and have laughed and cried as a single mom/widow with 2 children. Trying to get some sense of normalcy even though he’s been gone 6 months now . Did the dishes 2 days in a row now and it’s getting easier.
Thank you Dana.
From so cal
Comment for Mandy, we have a Mantra too, DH uses it for work, and I for house cleaning “Perfect is the enemy of good enough”. Perfectionists will kill themselves doing the job to their standard; or simply not do it at all if they feel they don’t have the time, or supplies, or reason to at that moment to do it perfectly. BUT if you retrain your brain you realize if the job is done done right, then good enough will suffices. It doesn’t have to be perfect. A popular quilter on youtube always says “Finished is better than perfect”. I am slowly learning! Flylady says you can do anything in 15 min or even 5. I live by that now. What a life changer! Dana, your methods and my new goals blend perfectly. Thanks
I’ve just just discovered this blog. I love it. I wish I had access something like this when I had 4 kid so at home and the housework never ended. Now I am decluttering and simplifying, in anticipation of having to move to a one floor house, which I’m sure will not fit all of my stuff. AS I go through ought the drawers and closets cupboards it is so much easier because THEse strategies take the emotion out of the stuff and decisions. Thank you.
I have just finished listening to your audiobook, and I have to say you really speak to me in a way other people haven’t before.
Unlike you, I don’t have a problem with my dishes being washed. I did however have a huge trepidatingly balanced pile of plastics from the dishwasher that I put up dry, and then stacked more on top of it, and more again. Whenever I needed something I had to be careful of the avalanche. So now, I’m drying them and putting them away as I unpack. It’s amazing how that empty space makes me feel good and accomplished.
So then, after a bit I decided to sweep the floor. My husband has a very annoying habit of dumping things on the end of our dining table. They have cascaded onto the floor now.
I moved it all to a room that’s all his, and would you believe it? He chucked most of it in the bin. I had been avoiding sweeping around it (because why bother?) but now it’s an actual 2 minute job. He was annoyed and has pointed out all the other mess everywhere, but I explained that I needed to sweep and that stuff was in the way.
So, thanks for being like me.
When kids are small, laundry is tough. At some point though, you have to re-assess what is your problem and what is someone else’s responsibility. When my son was 12, he learned to use the toaster, microwave, and stove to make snacks: mac and cheese, ramen, etc. I then told him that if he wanted to maintain kitchen privileges, he needed to do his own laundry. Full stop. Same with my SO. The mountains of laundry disappeared from the laundry room, and my family has been stepping up to share other chores. My marriage is more harmonious, and my son doesn’t expect the woman in his life to be his maid. Our home is by no means sparkling. That said, the basics get done, our house is *just* presentable, and we can have guests, any time. And WAY less bickering and resentment.