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All Housekeeping Points Expire at Midnight

February 3, 2010 By Dana White | 47 Comments

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My husband and I were part of a class that watched a video series called Marriage on the Rock. We liked it, but it didn’t really fit a Sunday morning class schedule, so I don’t think we finished it. However, there is one phrase that we continue to use.

“All points expire at midnight.”

The speaker’s point was directed to husbands. His idea was that men generally want the credit (“relationship points” earned) for taking out trash, saying sweet things, etc. to last through to their next mistake. For example, if he forgets once to lower the toilet seat, his wife should be thankful for all of the times when he remembers, rather than be mad about the one time when he forgets. But alas, all points expire at midnight. All of the couples there got a big kick out of this because it seemed that everyone could relate. (No men-bashing here, because in my opinion women are the same way.)

Anyway, this phrase came into my head yesterday when thinking about some of my classic excuses. My biggest one, and the one that gets me in the most trouble, is thinking that I shouldn’t have to clean something because “I just did that.”

Last week I mopped. It had only been one week since I mopped before that (normal for most people, huge accomplishment for me), but a glass of sprite from our stomach-bug-week had been knocked over and our feet were literally sticking to the floor. I was very proud of myself. I mean, twice in two weeks?!? I must really have this housekeeping thing down, right?

And then, the next day, my foot stuck to the floor again. Just in one little spot near the dishwasher, but it happened a few times until I couldn’t pretend it was my imagination anymore.

And do you know what thought went through my ever-so-mature brain?

“I shouldn’t have to mop again because I just mopped yesterday, and it had only been a week before that.”

Shouldn’t have to. Yes . . . . well . . . . .

This is one of those thought patterns that come so naturally to me that I’m working very hard to change. I’m fully aware of how ridiculous these types of thoughts are. I’m fully aware of the result of allowing myself to act or not act on these types of thoughts, having seen the evidence in my totally chaotic home for years.

Fully aware or not, the thoughts still pop in my head. So now I have to recognize them for their idiocy, and choose to act correctly/logically/maturely/etc.ly in spite of them.

After all, “All (housekeeping) points expire at midnight.”

Related Posts:

Read Newer Post Daily Checklist
Read Older Post Found A Great Cleaning Schedule . . . Shoved in the Bottom of a Drawer

Filed Under: figuring myself out, My great excuses | 47 Comments

Comments

  1. faithfulma says

    February 3, 2010 at 8:59 pm

    Ha! Love your blog…
    I have a squished grape on the floor I'v been meaning to clean up…but I just cleaned up the mud the dog drug in last night! My friend calls me a "Messy"..I only let her cause she is one too. I'm going to post on the topic soon, however I fear judgement from my Mother. 😉
    Thanks for visiting "I'll take some joy in my coffee" come back soon. 🙂
    Michelle

    Reply
  2. {Jodie} says

    February 4, 2010 at 4:10 pm

    What a great statement… I'm just like you in this area… I have had that exact thought over and over… I just did that – how can it possibly be time to do it again? I want things done once – and that be the end of it. Get an area clean and never have to do it again. Faulty, I know. But I like how you put it — which reminds me, I should probably get up and go clear out the sink and all of the other piles that have reappeared since yesterday. Ugh.

    Reply
  3. Lenetta @ Nettacow says

    February 14, 2010 at 7:28 pm

    I really like both the initial meaning and the housekeeping meaning applied to this. I linked to it on my weekly roundup. I'm so glad I found you!! :>)

    Reply
  4. This Heavenly Life says

    March 8, 2010 at 8:42 pm

    This is PERFECT! I just posted something on my blog about how I'm terrible at keeping the bills paid…they just keeps coming around each month and I feel like i JUST did them! So I'm awful about it, and keep putting it off until things get dangerous.

    But…all BILL PAYING points must expire at midnight, too. I'll try to keep this in mind 🙂

    Reply
  5. Virginia (Jenny) says

    March 9, 2010 at 2:35 am

    I'm this way in the household. I also hate mopping. I want all kinds of cool gadgets like the mop robot and stuff. LOL. I'm a terrible organizer and mopping once a week is a big thing for me too! Looking down now I can see I need to mop again.

    Reply
  6. Treva says

    February 22, 2011 at 9:54 pm

    I just found your blog and so far, I like what I read. All Housekeeping points expire at midnight is awesome! Thanks for sharing.

    Reply
  7. Maggie says

    August 24, 2011 at 10:59 pm

    So this made me laugh, first of all because my hubby makes a point to let me know that he “took the trash out for me,” and because I just wiped up a sticky spot on my counter that I don’t even remember what it was. It was bright pink though, so it wasn’t like something spilled and I just didn’t realize it. It has been staring at me for who knows how long, and now my counter is pink there, because well it was probably berry something and that stains. Grrr, why didn’t I just wipe it when it happened? Well probably because I just made something delicious, and I shouldn’t have to cook AND clean… silly me.

    Reply
    • Sue says

      January 17, 2015 at 11:19 pm

      My ex-husband used to tell people (on the rare occasion he watched the kids so I could go do something) that he was babysitting for me. Hello, you’re the Dad, you’re not babysitting!

      Reply
  8. Jennifer says

    September 22, 2011 at 8:23 am

    I so relate. I actually “rag” mopped a sticky spot last night and was proud of myself for getting that section clean. It’s so sad that I feel that way. My husband comes home some days and gets mad because the floor is sticky or toys are everywhere, but I have a hard time “seeing” it all. Love your blog, it keeps things in perspective for me!

    Reply
  9. Cheap&Sweet says

    September 22, 2011 at 8:47 am

    I love it! I am going to have to use this with my husband… Okay and myself!

    Reply
  10. Mimi says

    April 26, 2012 at 6:14 pm

    I’ve been reading your blog backwards like you suggested for a couple if days now and this post finally broke through my mindset. You hit the nail on the head. I have done the exact same thing with so many tasks. I just did that, WHY do I have to do it again?????? Thank you so much and I am printing out this post and sticking it to my kitchen cabinet. The inside of course!

    Reply
    • Nony says

      April 27, 2012 at 8:31 am

      Yay! This concept was huge for me, too!

      Reply
  11. Sheri says

    May 1, 2012 at 3:40 pm

    LOVE THIS! I’m going to use it for all sorts of things now!

    Reply
  12. Sandra L. says

    February 28, 2013 at 8:57 pm

    Reminds me of the time my BFF’s son needed a diaper change…15 minutes after he had had his diaper changed. She just laughed and shrugged and changed him again. I was horrified!

    P.S. I have no kids.

    Reply
  13. Julie says

    September 12, 2013 at 4:10 pm

    LOVE that rule. My husband will love that rule too! In fact, I think we’re going to have a lot of fun reminding each other of it. Right? It will be fun, won’t it?! 🙂

    Reply
  14. Melissa Crabtree says

    September 16, 2013 at 9:47 pm

    I love this!

    Reply
    • Dana White says

      September 17, 2013 at 10:21 am

      Thanks, Melissa!

      Reply
  15. Heather says

    October 15, 2013 at 11:29 pm

    I love this, for both relationships and the house. I’m new to your blog and have been reading backwards. I love it and you! Haha. I struggle with housekeeping since we homeschool and I have 4 kids home all day making messes! I appreciate your encouragement and transparency.

    Reply
    • Dana White says

      October 16, 2013 at 9:19 am

      Welcome, Heather!

      Reply
  16. MG says

    December 30, 2013 at 12:42 pm

    This is a great reminder. Great. I say that ALL THE TIME. when I wash the kitchen/dining room floors by hand I say for at least the whole next day “I JUST scrubbed the floor on my hands and knees, could we just keep it clean one day?!?” I really have to constantly remind myself that this “job” is never-ending. It’s just normal living of life. Thanks!

    Reply
  17. Ti Anderson says

    January 23, 2014 at 7:28 pm

    Oh dear Nony…I’ve been reading for a week and have started on my quest to organize my small apartment. But….This really struck a chord of shame. We leave messes on the floor ALL THE TIME! And it just gets worse….and We’re renting….There’s a few places on my kitchen floor where pieces of previously frozen fruit had fallen out of the freezer and are now One with the linoleum…I didn’t even know it was possible. So when I finally mopped on Wednesday as part of my Nony-inspired cleaning spree….I mopped over it. It didn’t come off so I left it. I even bought a scrub brush 4 months ago just for these spots and I still haven’t cleaned it. Apparently my plan is to leave it till we move and the scrub furiously for several hours as a sad attempt to maybe get my deposit back. On the upside it was a crappy floor when we moved in. So they probably won’t notice the fossilized fruit embedded in the floor right? Right??

    Reply
    • Joelle Puckett says

      February 4, 2014 at 3:06 pm

      Ti~
      Try a folded wet napkin or paper towel on the spot after dinner, then set a timer for an hour or two and come back and clean them. They should have reconstituted enough to come up. I’m always finding spots throughout the house that have been sitting too long. I pulled out the bed from the wall in the master bedroom to paint the room, and there was (warning, this grossed me out BIG TIME, so if you don’t have kids and/or pets, skip this part)……………………………………………………cat vomit. OLD cat vomit. I used the above method, and it worked.
      Joelle

      Reply
  18. Sarah says

    January 17, 2015 at 10:58 pm

    Me = you – the blog
    Lawsy, how you read my mail!
    Thanks 🙂

    Reply
  19. Mary says

    January 18, 2015 at 12:04 am

    I have described this part of my personality over the years in a similar manner: I like – and need! – a lineal progression (ie upward / towards completion or the finish). That’s why getting everything out for breakfast, putting it all away and wiping down the counter and emptying the sink drives me crazy when it all happens again at lunch or dinner or even if not until the next day. It’s a cycle that never ends! And although my rational brain says “duh – a kitchen is meant to be used every day and since you would prefer that it be clean and sanitary….” But my basic instinct is frustration anger resentment and all too often a blind eye to the state of things because I just hate “doing it all again”….
    Naming the reason why I hate it has helped me force myself to just get it done on a regar basis….. But cyclical things of housekeeping will always be what I hate most….

    Reply
  20. Christie says

    January 18, 2015 at 12:21 am

    Oh my gosh, I can do relate. You are inspiring me to believe that I csn change! Doing lots of decluttering these days, but some days I feel like I’m the only one who can tell. Thank you for being transparent.:)

    Reply
  21. Cherie Wilkins says

    January 18, 2015 at 11:19 am

    So funny!! We are on our way to church and I’m laughing because this is so true!! If I mop approximately in 2 hours something is going to get spilled.. It never fails.. Never.. Yep with 6 kids…mopping is a chore I only ever want to do once!! As if !! Lol!! God Bless you!!!

    Reply
  22. KLM says

    January 18, 2015 at 5:37 pm

    I was in my 40s, and my children out of the house, before I accepted that housework had to be pro-active, not reactive, to look like any was ever done. And that it is easier to clean if the place is kept tidy.

    Reply
  23. Grace says

    January 19, 2015 at 8:33 am

    This “all points expire at midnight” is the best thing I have heard in years. Not just related to housekeeping, but related to people in general. In any kind of relationship. I want to make a big poster/wallhanging with this and put it up in my house. It’s simply genius.
    Thanks so much for posting it.

    Reply
  24. Jen says

    April 29, 2015 at 10:36 am

    This reminds me of my saying when it comes to dishes & Laundry (well all housework really). I hate doing ______ because it’s never DONE!

    As soon as you think your finished with a task you turn around and someone has dirtied something else.

    Reply
  25. Lora says

    October 30, 2015 at 7:04 am

    Prepping for my MIL’s upcoming multi-day visit, I cleaned a spare bathroom that we rarely use, and I repeatedly thought, “but I thoroughly cleaned this bathroom, even every cranny with the steam cleaner” — umm, over a year ago! Probably over three years ago! Even bathrooms can get dusty, and precipitates from hard water build up in rarely used toilets. And rarely opened cabinets = landing spots for stockpiles acquired at bargain prices and stuff to be used “one of these days,” maybe for “just in case” scenarios or when I “get around to it.”
    I must print some of Nony’s checklists and switch to proactive rather than reactive about the cleaning and organizing. I think I’ve been succeeding with the kitchen b/c the expiration at midnight quickly becomes obvious there, even with my Slob Vision. And my nose helps, b/c I’m big on sulfur-containing veggies. Slip ups related broccoli, cauliflower, and cabbage smell! Also, I’m very risk-averse in regard to ants and other insects.

    Reply
    • Lora says

      October 30, 2015 at 7:19 am

      P.S. I also make hard-boiled eggs frequently, another item that will quickly alert me by the smell if I fall behind on kitchen maintenance!

      Reply
  26. Debra C says

    October 30, 2015 at 4:38 pm

    Two things. First, I totally relate to this. If by some miracle I get all the laundry cleaned and put away, for the next few days I’m just blown away by the possibility that there might be more to do. If I do dishes after breakfast, I’m flabbergasted by more after lunch or dinner (no dishwasher means I can’t get behind or I’ll have no counter space for food making).
    Second, as a person motivated by silly things like stickers, points, and web badges, I think I can use this. How hard is it to assign point values to tasks? Not hard. So a housekeeping task list (maybe a rotating one for people trying to do zones) with assigned points for each task and a reward at certain levels that escalates in awesomeness would probably go an amazingly long way toward getting me to do housework. And really, for me, the biggest problem is keeping consistent in the early days of my anti-slob attempts. Once a thing becomes habit, you don’t need points anymore because you just do it. But I have very many habits that I need to achieve. So maybe I need a scorecard with the reminder that all points expire at midnight. If I want that big prize, I have to do more cleaning. Today.
    Now I just have to come up with prizes that won’t increase my clutter or my waistline.

    Reply
  27. Jessica says

    November 11, 2015 at 11:44 am

    I just wanted to say that I love how respectful you are to your husband. It’s refreshing to see that.

    Reply
    • Dana White says

      November 15, 2015 at 7:21 am

      Thank you for this comment, Jessica.

      Reply
  28. Pat says

    April 20, 2016 at 11:35 pm

    This is exactly how I feel about dishes and cleaning the table after meals. The dishes in the sink drive me crazy… I have to remind myself that my housekeeping is for me… it makes me feel better, makes me proud of my accomplishments.

    Reply
  29. Dineen Fo says

    March 3, 2017 at 4:59 pm

    Oh my gosh, I need to use this “points” thing on my daughter with our new doggie. (Yeah, yeah, got work on my own head too.) She’s been wriggling out of dog duties with, “I just took her out” and, “But I cleaned up the last mess.” Now I can tell her that puppy-mama points reset with each pee or poo. Or some variation.

    Reply
  30. Monica S says

    May 2, 2017 at 10:55 pm

    Love this. I need to remind myself of this everyday when I think, “but I just did that.” I also dislike mopping for some reason so avoid doing it as long as possible. I have started to mop the floor with my wash cloth after I have finished cleaning up the kitchen and dishes for the night. I have found that little bit helps a lot in keeping my floor from looking super nasty plus I don’t have to break out the mop.

    Reply
  31. Dr Sarah says

    May 5, 2017 at 12:51 am

    Good grief – sorry to be the downer note, but what that marriage course was saying sounds so awful I couldn’t resist replying!

    Yes, if one person gets something wrong that the other person knows full well they normally get right – yes, treating that as a no-biggie one-off *is* the right thing to do, not getting mad because they made one mistake! Yes, their long history of doing it the right way *should* count as credit! Seriously, this guy was trying to tell you otherwise?? What kind of lousy marriage course was this? I hope the rest of the course was better!

    (Yeah, I completely agree with the main point you were trying to make about housework not being the kind of thing you can coast on indefinitely because it needs redoing at regular frequent intervals. But that ‘marriage points expire at midnight’ thing sounds like such a terrible attitude for this guy to have been teaching!)

    Reply
    • Mandy says

      October 4, 2017 at 8:12 am

      I completely agree with you!

      Reply
  32. Lesa says

    July 5, 2017 at 7:25 am

    Love this! To me it’s a reminder that marriage and housekeeping take DAILY work! I’ve just come across your blog (the podcasts are what grabbed my attention so I can listen while I clean!) and I can relate on so many levels! Closing the cabinet doors?! I thought I was the only one with that problem! My son has been going around closing them behind me since he was about 2! 😉 Thanks for being real and sharing your story to benefit others!

    Reply
  33. Mandy says

    October 4, 2017 at 8:14 am

    I have been reading your blog and I have found my people! I have struggled with being a housekeeper very much. I’m so thankful for a husband that just rolls with it but I want to have a nice home for him, our kids, and myself. We deserve to live in a tidy place, not just when we are expecting company. I have created a daily checklist and I have posted it on my fridge. I did it for the current month. I have already created the next month’s sheet. After reading this post, I added “All Housekeeping Points Expire at Midnight” to it. Hopefully this time it’ll stick!

    Reply
  34. Kerrie says

    November 6, 2020 at 6:58 am

    Oh boy, I just love your blog, posts and podcasts. I have been a follower for the last couple of years and I certainly can see why I need this post.

    Since covid blew away my routine of housecleaning, regularity of my life and my waistline (and other parts if I’m honest).

    I really need to get back into a covid normal routine.

    Keep up with the encouragement 😉

    Reply
  35. Beth Vandervort says

    November 7, 2020 at 7:59 am

    this is me too. This goes so well with your, “housekeeping is not a project.” Thanks for all you do. 🙂

    Reply
  36. Paige says

    November 9, 2020 at 5:57 am

    “All points expire at Midnight” is my new mantra. I needed to read this today. Thank you.

    Reply
  37. Frances-Agape says

    August 17, 2021 at 4:21 pm

    Another GREAT piece in the housekeeping puzzle !
    Thank you for alerting us newer followers to your older posts.
    They are still relevant, much needed and very appreciated.

    Peace, Love, Blessings, Health and Happiness

    Reply
  38. Pat Evans says

    August 18, 2021 at 12:02 pm

    I laughed out loud at two things in this post. The need for husbands (and, no doubt children) to get credit for every little thing they do. My husband’s favorite is “I just filled the sugar bowl”. And the second was the reluctance to mop the kitchen floor. I finally did it yesterday and it’s been weeks since it was last mopped. My husband does not see anything he drops on the floor and rarely cleans it up himself. He does take out the trash though (usually minutes before the garbage truck lumbers down the street).

    Reply
  39. Geena Haze says

    August 2, 2023 at 9:25 am

    Love all your -ly words, especially “etc.ly”!

    Reply

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