To all of those in that new, starry-eyed, heartrate-increasing, better-than-food stage of new love, you may have been asked the following question by someone who is both wise and well-meaning.
Can you see yourself with this person ten years from now?
What a wonderful question! And yet it is a little too vague and lacks specifics.
Allow me ask a few more pointed questions to help you out.
Specifically, can you see yourself with this person, traveling down the interstate after a wonderful time of Thanksgiving celebrations with each of your respective families? Can you hear the sounds from the backseat? Can you imagine the moment (lightning fast moment) between hearing one of your precious future children say that they think they just may throw up, and then hearing that it is indeed too late for you to find that empty sack of any kind that you have been desperately searching for in the darkness?
Can you smell the smells and feel the cold wind from the open windows? Will you smile lovingly at one another when you realize that you have gone just far enough that heading back to Grandma’s to clean up is not a better option than to ride 45 more minutes home?
Who do you picture controlling the windows and the heater, since it is after all, a choice between freezing to death or passing out from the smell?
When you finally arrive to your (perfectly clean and decorated) future home, who will carry the other two sleeping children to their beds, pulling them out over the back seat, to avoid dragging them through the residue.
Will you smile as you work together to find the proper cleaning products to remove throw-up and all of its odors from car upholstery? Will you move in perfect rhythm as one wipes up the chunks and the other scrubs what’s left? Will you laugh together as the light in your vehicle again turns off, for it is, after all, well into the night by now?
Will you rejoice in your partnership as one shines the flashlight so the other can scrub those stray splatters that mysteriously made it all the way across the van?
Will he nod in understanding that his brand-new-received-that-very-day-birthday-present-jacket that the beautiful child was using to stay warm must be washed in hot water, twice, because you are, after all, a germaphobe? Will he accept the fact that he must also take a hot shower in order to sleep in the same bed with you that evening?
Now I know that you may not be able to answer all of these questions right now. But the real question is whether or not this is the person with whom you want to go through all of this.
Because you will.
You may laugh and think that it won’t happen to you. You are wrong. You may think that something like this could happen, but again, you are probably wrong. This will happen. You can change up to four words, such as substituting “Thanksgiving” for “Easter” or “birthday”, or changing the number of kids . . . but it will happen.
I am so thankful that after ten years, my husband and I do have a certain rhythm developed for dealing with these moments. There might not have been as many loving smiles, but there truly is a joy in being married to someone alongside whom you are willing to work, in the unexpected or unpleasant moments.
Less than 24 hours later, we are already laughing about this. I may not laugh when I open the van later today and learn how well the febreze did or didn’t work, but in time, once the van no longer smells or we get a new van (whichever comes first), I will laugh again. I have confidence in that.
Well if it's any consolation, it made *me* laugh! It reminds me of the time I took my oldest three kids to a couple's wedding shower for my maid of honor, who I hadn't seen in about 5 years. My youngest son fell straight into the frog pond, and my oldest daughter threw up in the van the *second* I turned the ignition on to leave. At least it made my friend's think long and hard about how soon they wanted to have kids!
Essa, that's hilarious!
It is *now*…;)
Please remind people that a good way to clean up those kinds of messes is with kitty litter if you have it – cornstarch or flour if you don’t. Anything that solidifies it and makes it easier to sweep up and make it not so vomit-y. Being calm in the face of vomit is a prerequisite for dealing with kids in any way 🙂
Thanks for the idea of kitty litter and cornstarch/flour. We don’t have cats. Maybe I should buy a bag of kitty litter to just have around.
This is a hilarious post! So true. I suppose that’s why it is funny. My hubby & I had a similar situation when heading to the country for the weekend several months ago. I am a vomit-a-phobe so I had an emesis basin in the car. I spied ‘the look’ on daughter’s face and told hubby to pull over. I got out and walked away while he dealt with her and the puke. Fortunately it didn’t get everywhere. We decided to turn around and go home. We were at that in between place on the trip like you were. UGH!
Truth is that my hubby and I have a system and we each know our role. And we love each other thru times like these.
Thanks for sharing this story. 🙂
Oh you have a great husband! Although I wouldn’t be able to work with anyone if vomit was involved. I’m with Marcella. I have just always figured that if I stuck around, then there would be two people throwing up. Can’t handle that. But GREAT story…and good questions to ask!
You just made me laugh and cry a little with this post. I, too, am vomit-phobe, and my husband doesn’t deal well with it either. I actually got a little nauseous just reading this, so I really dread the puke-in-the-car moment(s) we have coming our way. Luckily our 5-year-old has been pretty puke-free, though she did spit up down my night gown when she was four days old. That make me shudder just remembering it. Ugh.
I have bookmarked this post and plan to use it in future episodes of premarital counseling. (I’m a pastor)
Love it!!
Made me laugh! Believe it or not, my husband and I actually discussed while we were dating: he will handle barf, and I will clean up pee:) And many, many smelly nights later, we live by these words. True love…
This happened to us before we even had kids. We were on a plane instead of in a car, and it was me! I was JUST pregnant, so any strong smell set it off and this guy opened a hot sub directly behind me. My husband had never flown before and didn’t know about the barf bags (he does now!) so he used the first handy thing he could grab–his brand new sweatshirt. I wanted him to dump it all in the nearest trash can, but he insisted if we washed it several times, it would be good as new. Even though it was me, I can’t handle puke. Thankfully he has a much stronger stomach than I do, so he takes care of that and I take care of diaper/bathroom disasters.
Hahaha!!! I can so see my husband wanting to keep the sweatshirt!!
This is pretty funny. Fortunately, our kids are 16 and 17, and while we have dealt with more than our fair share of puke in the car, on the plane, and even in the middle of a shopping mall, it has come from me. Every. Single. Time. At this point, our kids think it is completely normal to deal with Mom’s full emesis bags.
However, you left out the part about when they are young and wake you in the night to say they don’t feel well, right before they manage to spew on you, your bed, your pillow, the floor, the wall, and occasionally even the dog. Perhaps that is another story for another day…
Haha! So true!
I can relate…3 year old starts to vomit, I grab the nearest thing to protect the new dress she is wearing…hubby’s coat! He was understanding, but did wish I had managed to grab something, anything else. The dress was important because we were on the way to a funeral. The coat because it was January up in Northern VT.
There have been many other times, but this was the only time I used an article of clothing to “catch” it.
I only found your blog 2 days ago and can resonate with all you say. It’s really helping me view all the housework in a much more positive manner. Thank you for that.
I chose this post to comment on as it reminded me of a woman I was chatting to ten years ago this month. She told me that she had split up with her husband some time previously but felt happy again as she had met a new man. She explained how she really liked this man but was scared of letting herself fall too much for him, as a self protective mechanism for both her, and her children. Until…
She described one of her children (not new man’s child) saying “Mum, I feel sick” and immediately starting to vomit. The new man instantly cupped his hands out to catch the vomit! And did a fairly good job of protecting the surrounding areas. The woman told me that at that point she knew he was the one. If he was prepared to catch the vomit of one of her children, he would be a good step parent to her children.
I only met the woman in passing and now I am wondering if they are still together….
Haha last summer… Texas like 1000 degrees around noon. On the way to meet my husband for lunch, my 3 year old tells me she needs to go potty. We were 2 city blocks from the restaurant. I could see it. I told her 2 minutes. About that time she exploded vomit all over the back seat of my black inside and out car and herself of course. This was the first time she ever threw up and it freaked her out. Called my hubby to bring out water (for her) and as many paper towels as he could. He got to the cat and I ran to the dollar store across the street for towels clothes and baby wipes. Put the carseat from his cat inot mine because the one in mine was soaked, wiped hwr down and changed her clothes in the parking lot and took her home for a bath and a rest. It was traumatic for her but I think (now that it’s over) super funny!
I’ve never met ANYONE I’d want to do that alongside, haha.