Here goes.
This is it.
That post.
The one that will likely make you avert your eyes, pretend you don’t know me, and start scanning for an “unsubscribe” button.
I’m frugal. I hate to pay more money than I need to . . . for anything. But I buy books at garage sales. That’s frugal to me.
Other people, even ones who aren’t as cheap frugal as I am, get them at the library and don’t pay a dime for them. But for me, library books are too expensive.
Let me give you one example (of many) of why this is true for me.
Almost two years ago, when my oldest son started to first grade, I took my other two children to the library. We used to go regularly for Storytime, but the Bible Study we attend now is on the same day of the week. This was a Wednesday before Bible Study started, but after school started, so I thought we’d squeeze in a Storytime. For some reason, though, they weren’t having it that day, and so my son begged me to check out some books on frogs. I gave in (though with great apprehension) and we checked out four.
Then, before the books were due, life started up. It was the year when we tried to do gymnastics on Tuesdays and Bible Study on Wednesdays. Add in two or three other random activities a week, and I was running ragged.
Library books? What library books?
Let’s just say, it was a very long time before I turned them in. And then, I’m pretty sure I just threw away the fine notices, and vowed to never go to the library again.
Whatever thoughts you’re thinking about me right now, believe me, I’ve thought them. How could a good mother let that happen? How could a good mother keep her children from the library? Why in the world didn’t she just take the stupid books back?
For almost two years now, I pushed the fine out of my mind and avoided the question when the kids asked to go to the library. I bought TONS of great books at garage sales, and told myself that that made it okay. I made excuses about why my oldest son couldn’t go to the Summer Reading Program at the library last year.
In my mind, I had a $40.00+ fine to pay, and I was never willing to sacrifice a big chunk of the budget for it.
But then, when my second son started school this year, and soon wanted to get books that took him further than his Kindergarten Campus library took him, he started begging to go to the library. Begging.
I avoided and made excuses.
I decided to swallow my pride/shame/whatever and take care of this issue that I’ve been avoiding, literally, for years now. Today was payday, and I went to pay the fine. First thing this morning. The minute the library opened so that hopefully I wouldn’t see anyone I knew.
But alas, I live in a small town, and I can’t go anywhere and NOT see someone I know. As we walked in, a woman whose name I don’t know, but who obviously thought we were long lost friends walked in with me. To the same desk where I was going. I stalled until she left, and sheepishly said I wanted to pay my VERY BIG FINE. Seriously, I felt light-headed.
Turns out, it was only 19.00. Still a huge fine, but nothing compared to the 40+ that I thought it was.
So I paid it, signed up my boys for their own library cards so they can go to the Summer Reading Program, and even . . . checked out a book for my daughter when she begged me to. We came home and created a designated spot for it in the shoe shelf by the back door. Hopefully with the boys going most weeks this summer, our fines won’t be as big.
I also signed up for their new online account system which allows you to renew books easily and get emails to remind you that your books are due.
This is one of many situations where I struggle to find the balance between accepting myself as I am, and not letting myself just be “how I am.” Does that make sense?
I can’t be a person who randomly stops by the library to research subjects and check out books whenever I feel like it. My brain doesn’t sense time passage when it relates to returning things, at least until the shame is so great that I want to will the situation to go away. But, at a time when we’re planning to go to the library weekly, we can get a few books at a time. Maybe.
Things like this make me really despise my slob-brain. I shouldn’t be this way. I’m a lover of books . . . I taught British Lit, for crying out loud, and I yet somehow, I’m not enough of a grown-up to be able to handle turning in library books, and my kids are the ones who suffer.
Grrrrr.
Thank you so much for this post. I used to work in a library when I was in university but since that time have had a hard time making it there regularly. My last 3 experiences involved me realizing my books were due really late that day or the next day. I felt guilty for not being responsible enough to get them back on time on top of the fact that I used to be a librarian's assistant. Just this past weekend I took my 4 year old to the library to get his own card. I too feared losing track of time. We found a colored bin which is designated just for library books and our library bag. I have taped a sandwich bag to the front with the printout with the due date and have put his library card in it in the hopes that it won't get lost. Happy reading.
That is the exact reason I don't go to the library, or rent movies, either.
Lisa in Hixson
I have the same problem. Every time I borrow books I end up returning them late and building up large fines. I'm lucky with my library that aslong as you pay something off the fine when you want to borrow more they will let you. SO everytime I need to borrow something I bring in all my loose change to go on the fine, pay a couple of dollars off, return the new books late and build the fines higher.
I wish I was more organised
Funny you should post this today since it reminded me to renew a book that was due yesterday! LOL
Obviously, I have trouble remembering to return library books on time too. I always seem to end up with a fine of a dollar or two, and I've joked with the librarian when I pay the fines that I'm there to pay my "rental fee." It's still cheaper than buying them, but free is even better so I've been trying to do better lately.
I just want to thank you guys for commenting on this post. It's one of those things that I put out there, and hope that someone will understand. It's such a relief to know that I'm not the only one out there who does things like this.
And bec, for some reason, your comment made me laugh. I guess it's that you're lucky they let you keep borrowing . . .
Thanks!
This is why my husband is in charge of all things library. I love the benefits, but can't take the responsibility
Here's the thing: if I buy books (whether from a garage sale or a book store)they are ours to keep, which is great, but then I end up with way too many books!! If I'm trying to de-clutter, then using the library is my best option, even if I do end up paying some fines. We have a set day where we go to the library (usually about once a week) and I have a special shelf in my son's room where the library books go, so we know exactly where they are and what we have out.
Hope this helps!
I have trouble with returning library books too. I have no excuse its only two and half blocks. I haven't went in a long time but will start to go once school out. I such a mean mom but my kids have to read at least 20 minutes a day in the summer. My oldest will be reading to kill a mockingbird. Iam also limit there tv only on raining days if that. It summer there enough to do with out tv.
Wow. Again, it's like you write what's inside my head.
I'm missing two books. I know they're in my house. Somewhere. They're kids books so if I have to replace them it won't kill me, but I haven't been to the Library since NOVEMBER! Why not? Because I can't find those books and I'm too ashamed to go pay the lost fee because I know that somewhere in my house "It's Not Fair!" and "Elmo's Easter Parade" (from Easter-ish 2009)are just waiting to be uncovered.
btw, I talk about renting books from the library all the time. It's a mindset. People say, don't you mean check out? Nope.
Becky, it's not like I'm one to talk, but I do know from experience that kids books are more expensive than you think. I did pay for one once, but the good news was that once I found it, I was able to take it to them and get my money back. ALL of it. I know that my friend told me that her library will refund all but a 5.00 processing fee.
Seriously, with this recent fiasco, I almost wished I would have just paid for the books as lost, and then "found" them, and returned them to get my money back. But alas, I'm too honest.
I own too many books because the library never seems to have what I want and I don't like interlibrary loan and….
Be sure you post your library receipt (check-out) list in an obvious place like on the fridge. Put your most responsible child in charge of taking the list to the bin and crossing off each book you are returning. Then go search for any that aren't in the bin. You need to assign a weekday, like every Thursday, to do this. You've trained yourself to do laundry on Mondays, surely you can train yourself to do a "book check" once a week, right? Then if you miss a week, you will surely get to it the next week, and books aren't usually due in less than two weeks. Make a rule that the kids can't check out books, CDs, or DVDs that are due in 7 days!! This has worked for us every summer for years as my kids have to do book reports for me every week over the summer. Also, our library has multiple drop off spots. I know you live in a small town, but maybe yours does, too? Good luck and happy reading!
that would be a good idea, but our selective vision causes us to not see things that are posted in even VERY conspicuous places!!
Nony – I owe $35 at the library and I've been avoiding it (and all talk of it from my 4 kids) for almost a year. Library? What Library?
But they REALLY REALLY want to go to the summer reading program this year. So I have to pay that fine… There's just one more thing – my husband doesn't know about the fine still as I have been deliberately keeping it a secret. (After last time with the DVD's, he banned me from renting and I did it anyway…) How do I come up with $35 and noone be the wiser!?
Yours in spirit-
Jamie
oh my goodness. I am still avoiding a CHURCH library where I owe them $30. or I paid it (can't rememember). it was my mom's church and I'm too shy to go back there.
however, I'm all about my local library. I'm there twice a week at least. I will be reading a blog or an email, get a book idea, switch over to the library site and reserve a copy online. (haven't browsed the stacks in years!). Then I pop into the library, return whatever books are living in my car, and pick up the reserved ones. I still have fines sometime.
I also check my library account online every other day or so..and renew items as often as I can. sometimes when I return a book that's late but I still haven't read it, the librarians will try to renew it for me.
ALSO… since a friend works there, she told me about the ILL (inter-library loan system)..where if you have a book you want that your library county system doesn't have – it might be available somewhere in the state. each library is required to pay into the interlibrary loan system…so it's a service that's paid for… may as well take advantage of it!
I borrow home decor books that way – to see if I want to buy them for myself.
I also use http://www.libraryelf.com – and signed up for a weekly email that tells me what books I have out, which ones are due, which ones are overdue, and what order I am inline for the books on hold. that keeps me on my toes. I still have fines all the time (little ones). so there's no magic system for me.
I'm just thankful you shared your experiences with us so honestly.
I <3 the library system's emails!! Mine sends an email the day before with what is due back. I have a smart phone so it I get the email pretty much where ever i am and often times i'll allow it to sidetrack me enough to have the kids collect and gather.
Usually we keep them in one spot, often in one of our reusable bags. We *try* to go once a week, but it hasn't been happening. I also <3 placing holds online!
(I realize it's been a while since this post, but I just found your blog yesterday and couldn't resist commenting on this one…)
Thanks for this post. It often feels that I am the only one in the world with Library-Issues. You should know that not only are you not alone, but you're far from the worst library patron around. My LTL, Library-Transgression-List, started when I swore up and down that I had returned 2 library movies (I really really thought I did) and the library forgave me of my charges, only to have a woman that I babysat for hand them to me and remind me that her 2 boys were finished with them…i dropped them into the drop box (which you are also not supposed to do) but went back to that Library several times until I forgot to return 2 more movies and they were so late that I couldn't bring myself to go back since I actually did owe the max, $40.00 for them. I then moved out of state and it's been 10 yrs that these vhs videos are haunting me on the shelf. (Yes, Lord, I know what I should do but does anyone even watch vhs anymore?)
Since then, in my new town, I have not only paid countless late fees (.35 here, 1.20 there, here a $5, there a $10, "never will be late again") But my usual conversation upon check out goes like this: "Can you please tell me what I have checked out? ok…yes…I know where that one is too…uh huh…got it…ok, thanks, I can still visualize *all* of those books somewhere in my house, so we're still ok." I have fore-gone the replacement fines on books and videos by having to Buy new materials because I broke a video and my puppy chewed up a book. I still feel like the only person whose dog ate their library book, that was an embarrassing day.
Most recently, I intercepted the mail and ignored the late-fine letters on 2 cd's I had taken out for so long that I received a letter stating that the materials had been classified as "LOST" and needed to be replaced at 27.00 each…on my *Husbands* card…poor guy. I took them back, all prepared to ask them to just take the cd's and revoke his card because I don't have $54.00 set aside for my neglect (he never uses his card anyway unless I forget mine and ask him to put something on his, and then look at what happens) But they were happy to see the cd's and said that if items are returned, they are then given the maximum fine…of $3.00 each. That wasn't bad at all, but I haven't checked anything else out since either. Libraries are dangerous places so, yes, I too BUY books. and when I ask myself why I can't just be responsible, I answer "I am being responsible. I'm recognizing my fault and doing the best I can to not let that happen again." and for now, that means No Libraries for me.
THanks for commenting, Anonymous! I love getting comments on older posts!
Your comment made me laugh, especially the part about -does anyone even watch VHS anymore?_
Har-dee-har-har-har! That would be my logic, too!
Libraries can be a wonderful frugal tool, but I also have fallen under the trap of late fees. Just the other day I realized I was late on TWENTY-FOUR children's books!! 2-4!! *sigh* Not cool, people. Not cool.
You're not alone girl. I dread it when my children ask me to rent things from the library. Luckily for me, my children actually remember to return them and will remind me to take them by the library to drop them off. Pretty sad when a 12 and 9 year old can remember and I can't. lol
Being able to get reminders and renewing online has saved me from most fines. Sometimes if I can't find a book, I can renew it a few times to give it a chance to surface.
My daughter, however, can't seem to keep track of which books are from school and which ones we own and which ones are from the library. So I rarely have her check out anything. It's just too nerve-wracking and then embarrassing when I have to pay for a book she lost (often by loaning it out and then forgetting who she loaned it to…).
Oh man, libraries. When I say that I hear you, I mean that I have stuff still out from my college library; I've had to mail things back to out-of-state libraries after I've moved (could have bought the book twice with what I paid in shipping); I've even had a card revoked!
On the other hand I've had librarians take pity on me and drop my fine down to what I could pay in cash right then. Lovely people, librarians!
I just stumbled upon your blog a few days ago and have been captivated by your transparent honesty.
I, too, have been avoiding my local library… Same story as you just a different verse. I feel guilty for not taking the kids but those late fees really add up. It is time to face my fear, pay that fee and help to create better library goers out of my children.
I found your blog a few days ago and I'm gradually reading through it from the start. I'm beginning to think, though, that the 'normal' people aren't actually the norm – we are!
Having said that, my friends used to tidy my kitchen out of disgust when they called over – I remember them throwing out a purple tray of tomatoes that had turned blue and white and for some reason not believing me when I said it was an art project 'the colours are sooo pretty'!
I am exactly the same way with library books – in the past year I must have payed nearly E60 in fines:0. My library lets you chip away at the fine and so long as it is under a certain amount you can still take out books. I like the concept of 'renting' books from the library – it seems to be just what I do. I console myself with the thought that I am helping to fund my local library service!
Ok, it is like I could have written this myself! I am constantly paying library fees and prefer to buy books at yard sales to avoid this. In fact I currently have books that are extremly overdue but can not find a few of them, will look one day and then forget about them for a week before i think about it again. When i finally do get them back I figure I will be blacklisted! lol. Love your blog!!!!
I was pretty disorganized about my own kids library books, too, until I became a Kindergarten teacher. Another teacher at my school always had a shelf full of library books. Her classroom was the one used for after-school care, and I was impressed that kids of all sorts of grades would be poring over those books after school rather than playing outside. When I wondered how she could keep track with all the other books/activities in her room, she shared her tips. 1) She always checked out the same number of books (30 was the teacher’s max). 2) The books were carried in a cardboard file box designated for the library books. And the receipt for those books lived in that empty book box under her desk. 3) Library books had a special shelf in her classroom, and the due date was marked on her classroom calendar. 4) Kids would volunteer to gather up the books on the Friday before the due date. Two kids worked at hunting for each book on the receipt, placing it in the box, and checking off the name or number on the list!
Though I am not as organized with my personal library loans, I still follow the rule of one place to put them, a set number I borrow at a time, keeping the receipt in my book bag, and making sure they are all due on the same date. I sometimes renew books that haven’t expired just so the items will come due on the same date!
And yes, the library e-mails are wonderful.
I’ve been in the same position. I kept racking up library fines and threw in the towel. For years I avoided the library until last year I MADE myself go every Tuesday and tried to get the books back a week earlier. I just tell myself they are due a week earlier and I also check out a set number of books. Sometimes my fines were as high as $20 multiple times. I’m still mad about it….(insert deep breath) and letting it go… Anyways, I’ve found a balance and also I gave up on checking out books in summertime when life has no schedule.
Wow. I am so glad I happened to stumble upon your site today. Everything that I’ve read so far sounds like something I could have written (but might not have had the courage to). Thanks for your honesty and transparency. This library book post had me laughing and cringing both, because I know the subject matter so well. Today, in fact, is the day that I had already planned to go and face up to the librarian. I’ve been nervous about it for nearly a week. The books were returned long, long ago, but, not wanting to face the shame and humiliation–not to mention the fines–I haven’t been to the library for nearly four years. And yes, I am a former high school English teacher, now a home educator, with a huge emphasis in literature in my home. Ugh. Thanks for writing. Wish me courage this afternoon!
I think I have everyone beat. I once had a fine of $75. $75!!! Really! That doesn’t include all the $20 here and there that I’ve owed. I have such wonderful memories of visiting the library as a child, though, and have a daughter that loves it as much as I did. So, I continue to go. I do tend to shop used bookstores and use paperbackswap.com.
I love your site, Nony. I feel like I’m reading my own life story. I love the idea of starting with one thing, then adding one non-negotiable each week. I started today.
Big, blinking neon checkmark.
I just decided I don’t like the library anymore. Half Price books, yard sales and Amazon-then I can read in the tub with no fear! After a certain time my library just forgives the fine!!! How can I respect that!!! If I am going to be disciplined it has to be hardcore, like drill seargent in boot camp hardcore, otherwise I will just not take it seriously.
we own a great many movies from Redbox for the same reason. I now go to a great library that doesn’t charge fines. When the sweet librarian told me they didn’t charge fines I just about kissed her.
Ha! Thankfully, my husband’s pretty paranoid about our Redbox movies, or I’m sure we’d have a few too!
I cut up my library and movie rental cards after I learned (the hard way) that the local library automatically sends overdue accounts to COLLECTIONS after a certain amount of time. So, now that’s on my credit report. : (
Oh Erin, that sent shivers down my spine!
I have to say, I recently discoverd your blog and can’t tell you how refreshing it is to see that I’m not the only one who struggles with similar issues. For example, I went to New Orleans to visit family and what did I leave in my hotel? (that never turned up.) My library book. It looked like it had been through the war but it cost me $30 anyway.
Couldn’t resist posting, I have had such an issue with this all my life! When we come home from the library and the kids say “Daddy, Mommy paid $58 in fines today!” My dear husband just says, “That’s just the way your Mom is. If that is her only fault, I guess I’ll keep her” Well it is far from my only fault, but thank the Lord for a forgiving husband. The funny part is, I actually have a “Library Fees” category on my Quicken bookkeeping system and at the end of the year, I list my fines on my tax return! I consider it my contribution to the library and hope they buy many more wonderful books for our community to enjoy. (Doesn’t that make it sound more honorable?)
The tax return thing made me laugh!
I’ve had triple digit library fines…..
OMG, Are you my twin sister??. Not only about this post, but pretty much all else, like my flylady failed attempts.
I visit the library, just as I do the bookstore, to read the book INSIDE and leave it there.