On August 22nd, my identity changes.
I will no longer be a mother of pre-schoolers. Being a Stay at Home Mom will take on a new look, and a new definition. People will start to wonder (legitimately) . . . What does she do all day?
For years, I’ve dreaded this day. I love being a full-time mom with little ones by my side every. . . single . . . . moment. But I’ve also often said to myself (sometimes out loud, because that’s how I roll), that I’ll be able to do ___________ once the kids are in school.
You can fill in the blank with all sorts of things.
Bargain shop, make my own this/that/or-the-other, keep the house spotless . . .
But the reality is that I thought these same things about other phases of life.
When my room was messy in high school, I thought, “When I’m in a dorm . . . it will be easier.”
When my (half of the) dorm room was a foot-deep in dirty clothes, I thought, “When I have an apartment with more space . . . it will be easier.”
When I had an apartment, I thought, “Once I’m done with college and real life begins . . . it will be easier.”
When I got a job and lived by myself I thought, “Once I get married, then it will be fun to have a cute little home . . . and that will make it easier.”
When I got married I thought, “Once we have kids and I stay home with them . . . I’ll finally be able to keep the house under control.”
Mmmmm-hmmmm. (Says the older, much wiser, knows-how-full-of-crit-her-younger-delusional-self-was me.)
Two years ago, when I started this blog, I finally accepted that waiting for the next phase of life . . . wasn’t working.
Yes, each phase has its own challenges and rewards. But my slob-brain was the thing that stayed the same through each phase. I needed to make adjustments for the challenges of each phase, not live in chaos waiting for the state of my home to magically get better.
I have a long list of things that have been on my once-the-kids-are-in-school backburner for years. If I were to tackle even a third of them, I’m pretty sure my home would fall right back into its natural state of disaster.
I have to prioritize. With “Keep the House Livable” at the top of the list.
In permanent ink.
Because if I don’t force myself to put it at the top, it might not even make the list.
Wow we have so much in common! I have told myself almost all those things. Right now I’m on when the kids are grown and moved out I will be able to keep up with the cleaning! Problem is my kids are really spaced apart in age and I have ended up pregnant again! So then I thought I can’t keep putting this off for another 18 years if I do that we might end up on one of those Hoarder or Clean House tv shows!! Really I do want to get it together but my get up and do it attitude only last a few days and then it ends in arguing and tears. I am so glad you made this blog and I found it. I feel so alone sometimes and not that I want you to stay a “slob” but it feels so good to know I’m not alone. I know what works for you might not work for me but at least I get some ideas on how to start and keep it up. Again THANK YOU for writting this blog!
Congratulations on the new baby, Amanda!
And thank you for your encouragement and kind words. It helps so much to know that I’m not the only one out there who has these struggles.
I completely agree with this post. I’ve been coming to this realization myself lately that life is never going to get easier and I need to start working on my flaws now instead of waiting for the “perfect” time. Thanks for writing. And also, not to be a pain, but what happened to the calendar on your page where I could choose the date to read. I was trying to read from March 2010 yesterday and noticed the calendar was gone.
You’re not a pain! I love getting feedback on the changes I make. I took the calendar down because I finally was able to add the “newer post” link at the bottom of the individual posts, which seemed to be the preferred way of reading backwards. I was concerned that the calendar was messy looking.
You can select the month in the “archives” drop down menu, and then once you find where you are, it should actually make it easier to go backward post by post. If not, let me know and I can put it back! (I want my readers to be happy!)
I was JUST thinking this morning that once September rolls around, everything will be easier. Thanks for shattering my grand delusion Nony! LOL
Oops, sorry!
HOnestly, it has the potential to be easier in some ways, but knowing myself, if I don’t stay focused, I’ll get caught up in all the things I can do in my “free time” and completely ignore the house!
well this celina in canada..is going to become celina in virginia!!! this weekend…and i’ve been saying..starting next week…..in the new house……once school starts…….and most worrisome is dh saying we’re keeping this new house CLEAN……eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek
i’ve donated so much stuff and yet….so much is left….more will be purged once there…wish i was one of those minimalists….
wish me luck…..i’m off to have a panick attack now
I said all of that too. Now that both of my kids are in school, I constantly check my email and wait for the school to call (I have a special needs child). I hope you actually do something with your time. lol
I swear, reading your posts are like reading my mind! I am starting at the beginning tonight, but this post caught my eye. Yet another one that sounds just like me. 🙂
Wow, I’m really glad you posted this—- “…not live in chaos waiting for the state of my home to magically get better”. I really needed to hear that because my baby is also starting kindergarten on August 22 and I’ve also been telling myself that somehow that day will be the day when it all gets easier and I’ll be able to get something done around here. Of course, I also said that about six or seven other “shifts” in life, too…. I really do need to do as you say, keep making adjustments and keep putting the house at the top of my list of priorities. Thanks again for keeping this blog up.
Hi Nony,
Do you still use the about onesystem? Do you like it? I tried clicking the affiliate link but its just says this offer is full. I don’t mind paying for it but if I do I would like you to get credit.
Honestly, I’m not really using it. I’ve heard great things, but never got going on it.