Conversations with Normal People – Scene 2
The cast:
Slob – Outgoing, funny, most people don’t know that she is a slob.
Normal Person – Low key, easygoing.
Slob’s Daughter – 4 years old, loves to make conversation with new people, absurdly verbal.
The Cleaning Woman – Hardworking and friendly.
The setting – A School Cafeteria, all lunches are done for the day. Half of the tables have been rolled against the wall, and the other half are in place. In the area with tables, two mothers are dipping ice cream for a reward party. In the cleared area, a cleaning woman is mopping. Slob’s daughter is playing on the stage near the empty end.
(Lights come up on the mothers busily working downstage. In the background, Cleaning Woman and Slob’s Daughter are talking.)
Slob’s Daughter: What’s that you’re doing?
Cleaning Woman: I’m mopping.
Slob’s Daughter: My mommy doesn’t do that. She sweeps, but she doesn’t mop.
Slob: (Looks up in horror) Did she just tell her that I don’t mop?
Normal Person: Haha! I think so.
Slob: I do so mop! I mop every Thursday!
Normal Person: Really? Every Thursday? That’s interesting. I don’t have a set day when I mop. I guess I just depend on my intuition for things like that.
Slob: I have no cleaning intuition. If I don’t have a set day, I’ll never do it.
Normal Person: Hmmm.
Slob: (aside) Cleaning intuition? What a fabulous term! I’ll have to blog about this.
Hee hee! Except you aren't a "normal" slob, since you're an actress-type. :>) Which makes you funnier than an average slob!
cleaning intuition I like that a lot . The intuition that someone is coming to visit or maybe you are having a party so you should clean.
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The other reason normal people don't have to have set days to mop is that any day they notice a dirty floor, they are happy to mop it. Without a set day, I always consider a dirty floor to be an unpleasant & surprising interruption, even if I have no plans. My thought process is always "a dirty floor! I didn't want to have to deal with that today." Somehow it's easier to know in advance that I will be dealing with it.
I love your stories about conversations with normal people. I have personally experienced the first one. I haven't yet set a schedule for cleaning but will do after vacation next week. Nony you are such an inspiration. I love your honesty and commitment. Now if only some of that will come my way…
Reading your back articles. “Cleaning intuition” I love it! I don’t have any either. Helps to know to replace it with something else.
These mini scenes from life absolutely crease me. I hope they’re going to be a regular feature.
I love these conversations! I’m reading from the beginning, so I hope there are more!
I don’t mop. Of our entire house, only one room has carpet. The rest of the flooring is wood, ceramic tile, or linoleum(linoleum?)…non-ceramic self-stick, tiles. Yet, I doubt our 10 year-old mop has seen the light of day more than once every two years, on average. I DO wipe/scrub spots as needed with baby wipes.
I also don’t vacuum. Don’t judge!
Hahaha! Love this scene. I replay it in my head while I mop.